Such a happy happy peice. We need that in this spooky time of the year, when I see so many Horror Tale requests from various contests...A good read
Well done
Zubia
That was a strange an unusual information: shutting the beach. I was intrigued and impressed. Maybe each night mysterious things happen on the beach during the winter....
Good going!!
Zubia
I am not a big fan of peoms but yours struck a chord. At first I thought what a mean judgemental person!! But then I realized that you were empathizing with the loser and giving him/her hope. Great job!!
WOW. I needed to read that. The loser becomes the winner by the end of your story. Good going. Wonderful metaphor. Dont let these words flatter you, work harder!!
Very nice start and a complimenting finish. To love and to be loved is the most beautiful thing ever. Just make sure you proof read well. Reminds me how important first impressions are. A painting with thoughts is a very interesting idea. I remember reading a book long time ago in which a person comes out of the painting to experience life.... Maybe you could develop this stroy line ito talk about more things in life that we take for granted!!
Good luck, you got talent!!
Not being an avid virtually connected person myself (I do use facebook, but only to experience nostaligia with old long lost buddies) I find this story disturbing making me say "I told you so". I agree with the wirter, the "Government Implants Computer Chip into Human Brain" was a bad bad idea. What started as innocent text messaging, tweeting or googling turns into human life engulfing and depleting (deleting) technology. It manifests itself as God, invoking His fury. The story is convincing even though its fictional. Orignal and so satisfying. Great ideas. Paper and pencil is indeed out. Recalling past text messages of the dead is also spooky. Well done. I am sold!
Words like "long-dead language", "from times long passed" create a sense of timelessness. Your scene is so vivid in the eyes of my mind. Right from the candle-light start to the blacked out end. Good sense of imagery, keep it up.!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zmughal/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 12:50pm on May 02, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
