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Rated: 18+ · Other · Experience · #1285382
This is what I feel about why we live, or why we should.
We just sit and make our mission for our ambition to be great and dont hesistate to fufill the things we create for ways to relate thought and theory and sit weary for wait and hope that we can cope with struggle and snuggle with despair and try to repair the things once lost and try to forget the things we regret.

We try to make the best and like the rest we succeed or receed to defeat trying to complete our journey of being the greatest and the latest.

When we try and force the results we cant be doin what we really should at full capacity and hope the last may be the best we see unlike the controlled past we see.

The things we hate are the things we love, like living in a shitty home alone, but love the fact its not outside.

People are stupid and cant comprehend the task at hand and try to apprehend the ultimate truth but cant because when we try we wish wed die, and the lies that ties to our goal is in a hole dug beneath the sinking river making it impossible to aquire and sit and conspire ways to reach.

We can't all be great but are never late to try, but at times ask why, why should we do this? Why should we be doin this? whats the point?

Sometimes we try
then we ask why
along the resistance
despite our resistince
the meaning for life
there is none so we should die
we should run
we should do what we want
but we cant
torn down
broken inside
but try to hide and try to mend the real
and bend the seal to block the gate of all hate, to create a false existense of persistence to acheivement.
Try get money and have a life live by how everything is , run a biz
Some belive in god, thats hope for them but for some theres nothing left for them.
but by compassion for their one passion leads them on despite the long road or path and the toad who says
" no faith no sin,
dont ever give in,
the life we live in
no fight to give in

We live to be free
We live so we see
We cannot be
We cannot be

being is not seeing and




he adverse effect on our commitment to stay free
I belive its worse evicting our liberty
right in front of everyones eyes, they dont even have to try
they claim its for children, terrorism, safe skies.
by comprimisin our freedom, no buts and no whys?
rising their power as we agree, with no sighs
advertising, contradicting, no end in sight.
we eat the lies, afflicting our might.
Sacrifice some freedom in order to protect it?
freedom aint money, we own it, u cant collect it
I thought america land of the free, home to the brave digital only tv.
I try to make sense of the hyprocrisy, defiant to the grave, is it only me?
"your free, but pay taxes, relax, we got cash, in fact we got stacks
but understand were not sane, illogical, cant contain every cent we get
but to no regret, excess collection protects the selection of new deck, or new boat or house than can float,"
but im glad we all paid up cuz freedom is made up, you need permits to make sure your following suit, if you owe money theyll give you the boot, a permit to sell soda or beer on sunday
i learned its hell, absorb fear all goddamn day
one thing that boggles my mind, confusiong thinking its too late
what the fuck happend to seperation of church and state
buy permit to sell some food,
insult to freedom not cool
but to sell ice cream on the "lords day"
im an atheist would i still need to pay?
but on another note you sheep unaware
dont belve all the lies fed you should care
yep and well all get sent to prison, where well work in farms and factories. but people who read that and think "well i hope they catch the terriotsts, i dont mind sacrificing soime freedom, and allowing them to steal from me blind, because its that little secure safe feeling that helps the sting of freedom-loss "


BACK IN THE "STATES" 2101
Ring----ring----ring. But it was too quiet to hear. The subway was packed filled with people heading home, heading to work, goin to eat and doin errands. This many people made it nearly impossible for Jake to hear his phone ring, had he left it on vibrate he may of noticed it, but unfortunitly for him, and for the Costagnas. But Jake didn't want to answer that call, he was a timid man, who didnt want to be in this much pressure. It was way too for him. But he was good at what he did despite this incredible drawback which suprisignly didnt obstruct his jobs. At least he never admitted it.
Some years ago Jake was The Costagnas number one Narc. In every aspect of the word. He would go undercover posed as a Chinese drug dealer, which left Jakes pants soaked with shit, considering he was a 5'9 caucasion male. He remebers that day, it almost back fired when he called one of the criminals Hong Kong Phooey, not thinking what he was saying but thinking of the century old show that he got bootlegged still untouched by modern media manipulative mind control, forming opinions to young minds who never stood a chance against their persusive almost seductive way of convincing. He read all about it, on the condition of death if that information were ever to be exposed. It started way back, way way back, back when mainstream media realized the power they had in their grips, the 19th century when "morse code" was invented, or was it the 18th? Jake also was one to forget, but he convinced himself and the voices in his head otherwise.
"you cant remember can you, what if you talking to someone important" said the annoying voice, whose incessant comments regarding his stupidity and lack of commen sense, didnt phase Jake anymore, he was used to it.
"well its not like you know" Replied Jake, expecting the stares from the people around him in the subway, as it always happened, but this time no one looked.
"get over yourself Jake, im just the voice in your head, here to remind you what a OWW AW SHIT"
"hey shutup fuckface" said Hero, the voice who reminded Jake his will was good and power is strong. " hey Jakey buddy how you holdin up, what were you guys talkin about, fuck off fuckface. Oh morse code i know all about that, May i Join in Jake"
3 years ago he would of told Hero, how grateful he was to have him to get rid of the infamous fuckface. But now it didnt even come to his mind, he was ignoring the whole situation as hard as he could, but sometimes joined in. He thought great now Heros gonna join in one my thought train.
"And fuckface almost derailed it king awsome" Hero exclaimed with glee, Jake resented that name, it was so corny so-" Once the media realized what an opprotunity they had, sharing information, with people on all ends not expecting the inevidential bullshit being tossed at them, it wasnt long before the radio and television came out. The 1960s started the Calm Agressive Rejected Enjoyed project. Where by convincing the American public of social and genetic equality, the wanted to get the kids when theyre young, by formin their opions while their minds are ripe and easily molded to not form their own opinions on any subject. That was their plan at least, Do you remember Phillip K. Dick Jake? Isnt he an author you enjoy? He wrote about totaltarian society but would never expect it to actualy happen slowly but surely it crept its way, with a major drawback with the Kippys they were called right Jake?"
"I think they were called hippys Hero" said Jake, way too much into this lecture to notice the people not understand what the fuck he just said with shameful looks directed at an unaware Jake.
"Yes your the smartest I bet fuckface never told you that correct king awesome? Lets induldge in this epic tale of many tragic and failed yet successful events that you and fuckface were talkin about before. Yes the Jippy generation was a hold back but only for their time and their children were called sheep by some, due to their unawareness of this plan, while the governemtn made people belive the word "conspiracy" was synonomous with "crazy" which was completely unlike its true definition of " A plan". So the ones who knew the truth, were outcasted by others, the irony the sheep turned away the ones who were telling these sheep how utterly fucked they were, and they resented them, and they didnt kno why, they just knew crazy was good it was bad, just like drugs, they didnt kno how it was bad for you, they just thought it was. There will and have and forever--"
"wow your gay hero. thats bullshit, jake hes lyin to you, he always lied to you, you are scum hes never been straigh up with you, See hes too weak to speak to us, hes scared that hell lose. HI IM JAKE IM A LOSER" interrupted the bad intentioned fuckface.
Jake couldnt but help how three years ago he would of been so aggravated, argueing with himself making a fool of himself and getting yelled at for that, by real and psychotic voices, inside and outside his skull, both making Jake more embarrases and ashamed and mad, which fueled the invisible and very opaque stangers who thought it was another day on the subway which jake has always frequented.
" yea your that guy you kno that right? The lunatic people expect to see---" Fuck face was interrupted on his alleged feeling killing rant, but not by Jake or by Hero, there were things that happend that noone had control over arguements over nothing, this time is was the ding noise that caught all three off guard and the operators voice saying next stop 5th Andrews square. Jake excused himself as he rushed to the door, which was always cleared for him, a rarity in public situations where desire to leave first out of a crowded place, and eye contact was avoided with caution especialy to the old woman who fell by the man who pushed her trying to get out, but he wasnt on the bus, Jake was, and everyone knew that had one of them knocked over the crazy guy, they would end up the stabbed person. A benefit to yelling at yourself Jake considered it, he never got to be last out and miss his stop. He does it intentionaly, but thats what he tells himself,
" A benefit huh? your a tool you ---" whispered fuckface, as tho he finaly belived he was real, and had the people around Jake heard him, he would dissapear, and had that happend who would fill his narcisstic needs for self hatred?
"I dont hate myself, and im not talkin for the rest of the walk there" Jake said outloud, walking out the subway door, into the crowded station. It sure changed since GRC took charge, there wasnt long security lines and intimidation of Officials that made citizens feel awkward and powerless, yet they respected them, some hated them, but the ones who liked them only did so because they were protecting "freedom". This change hadnt directly impacted Jake, he smiled at the woman wearing a blue hat and told him to have a nice day, as he walked away, not engaging in conversation, because Fuckface may have said something about his dog, he knew he would say something, because fuckface reads his mind. Jake came to terms that he may be insane and cant do anything about it, knew their patterns when they would appear, what they would say, a predictible time for fuckface to make a comment was during small talk with a pretty woman. 'shes too hot for you, you fuckin suck, she wont like you when she finds out how fuckin nuts you are' fuckface would say, then Hero would give his two moral cents on the situation and say something close to ' dont worry king awesome, your king awesome, you got it' reassuring him.
"sorry" said a man who nudged his shoulder walkin up the stairs to the street. Jake flinched, he wasnt a pussy, and he knew that, but he gets so caught up in his mind thateverything else gets faded out, and he becomes fixated in only that. It sucked but at times was nessasary. He looked around the street and lit up a cigarette, expecting fuckface to remind him of the sweet cancers he cant wait to nestle and cuddle with for lighting up, contradicting his persona, but Jake belived that no part of him wanted to die, even the part that hated him the most. A taxi pulled up without having to be called. This was the kind of luck he needed today, if he was goin to make a good impression when he arrived to his destination he came 3000 miles of annoyances to engage in. With one arm opening the door, the other carried a suitcase opening the door, king of the multi-task.
"Wow your soooooo fucking cool you cheap sonofabitch, im waiting for you to fumble" expected Fuckface, but his dream didnt come true and before too long the taxi drive asked the destination. Unfortunitly Jake was a racist, and this is the only time he enjoyed Fuckface around. "ask that hindu sonofabitch just said."asked fuckface nicely. Jake was a man of power, and the remaining police would not go too far in interrogating him, for the consequences were dire. "thats why you can ask this ugly fucker what he just said and do what i say"
"I didnt catch that maam what did you say, i cant do anything but notice how much of a dead infested shit it smells like in here, you bring your wife in here maam?" asked Jake cracking up, with the rare moment of spotenatie that he laughed with Fuck face.
The taxi driver was used to this, but only by certain people. Those people who gave him shit, were people who knew that he could not do shit,people like officials, but with a grin on his beared sweaty face, those days were over, people like him get respect, dont get harrassed.
"hey mud monkey i belive a question was asked" Jake reminded the driver, with a cold blank, emotionless stare, gazing into the rearview, staring deep into his eyes, filled with hate and a hint of volatile emotions.
"Hey fuck you buddy, where doo yoo need too goo sheethead?" asked-
"this is gonna be great Jake do it, haahaha" Fuckface erupted in maniacal laughter.
"what the fuck are you stupeed in de head sheethead?"
"I'm new to town, sheehead, the place is called Mi- cant spell it ter ben es durty"
" OK buddee its called mi turben esdurty? YOU COCKSUCKA SON OF A MONKEE BITCH GET OUT OF MY CAR" but before he could finish his rant filled with things hes been sayin to passengers since the Revouloution, he felt something very cold on the back of his head and thought he got spit on, but as he turned around he vomited, a natural reaction to seeing a gun pointed at your skull. "OW SHEET WHAT THEE FUCK WHAT THEE FUCK"
"Get me to 16th and Broad, you fuckin slime, your turban IS DIRTY YOU FILTHY FUCK" SCREAMED fuckface at the top of his imaginary lungs to the driver, who furthered angered fuckface because" WHAT U SHIT YOUR PANTS HAHAQHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA" The ride for the next five minutes was an awkward one, especialy for Hero.
"why are you being so mean to this important member of society? dont you know hes doin US a favor? we need to arrive to our mission, safely without attention called to us, it could foil our mission, we must succeed WE MUST PREVAIL we must work together fuckface and JAke, we areeee king awesomeess" triumphetly exclaimed Hero.
"fuck face hes right, we got something to do, fuck yourself dont even speak to me" jakes voice so stern, he scared himself.
Although he agreed to spare this sheetheads life, he left the gun resting on the crying scared mans skull, confused.Two minutes later they came to a stop, and with a soft wack to his head Jake said thanks."leave the man some cash at least" Jake didnt even kno who said that, he didnt recognize that voice, but then again he was excited, threw $600 at the man, and got out of the car, which sped off screaming in fright. Jake lit a cigarette and looked around, and he saw his destination. He was ready, he knew fuckface was goin to ask him and hero was goin to reinforce how ready he was. He took a drag and waved at a woman who smiled back. "your gonna do great jake i mean Robert Thorton".

*************************************************
Bill was pacing back and forth waiting. He was ready for this day since, well Al promised him, like so many years ago. Al was a good guy for doing this. But he seemed sad, for something reason when he agreed to this, Bill heard Al tell Anne how bad he feels that hes doin this for Bill, the poor guys gonna get suicidal or crazy. Then he heard noises and couldnt decipher the noises through the closed doorway, Pacing back and forth he decided it was time to slap Janet in the face.
It was almost 12, almost lunch time. Janet was thinking about Bill all day, as she picked her nose a man came up to her." Hello there, I'm here for a meeting with Bll , I am applying for an internship" a man with a hat said, with a perplexed face. "exscuse me ma'am?" The man asked once more, but the booger that Janet was diggin at was like treasure.
"I wonder if it tastes like salt." she asked herself, with the word salt mumbled as she put her hand in her mouth, and her face was figuriing out what flavor it was. She swore she heard some mumble things, but thought it was a plane outside, " shit well clean my ears while your at it Janet" She dug two fingers into her ears and jerked her fingers madly, yelling woooooh.As she put her hand on her chest with her head cocked back laughing she noticed-
"Exscuse me but that was disgusting, are you listening im here for an internship with BILL, can you do that for me?" ask the appalled man at her socialy disapproved act of public hygeine. As her face turned red in shame, she reached for the phone and broke up laughing. The man heard loud running noises. He looked up the stairs and saw blue boots, "what is this a retard facility?" That was his guess but he was sure he was convinced when he saw a tall built man wearing suspenders blue boots and a duck floaty around his waist, as though we was recently in the pool and either couldnt swim or was stupid in the head. The man jumped down the stairs and hit his nose falling down. He jumped right up as though nothing happened, walked over to Janet.
"hey Janet guess what?"Bill asked seductivly
"what bi--" she was caught off by a loud slap in the face, if she didnt get that booger than the blood would of taken it with it.
"YOur IT"
"haha i got the boogey before!" and Bill ran off.
The man there for an internship realized he made a mistake, the GRC were fuckin retarted,"Screw this i dont need this job" he walked away and bumped into a man who was mumbling something about shutup. "whats wrong with you? you shit your pants or somethin?" the the would be intern stormed off.
JAke shrugged it off, he was praying some job was opening up here, he needed in. Well he had to go in, otherwise George would be pissed. he noticed a bleeding woman and a man spitting on the ground by the secretaries desk. He saw the woman as she put her glasses on. "yes dont mind me im just back from Canada, CRAZY BACON" the bloody woman recklessy laughin shouted.
"THEY DONT SERVE CHINESE FOOD CUZ THEY POOP AND FART" exclaimed a very excited man with blood on his hands, Jake did not want to get into this. Before he could say anything, The sketchy man put his hand out.
"Hey Bill this is, uh i didnt catch your name but this man has been waiting here," and she made a sound that was almost like a whisper, but much louder and she kept lookin at Jake. For a split second he thought she was saying something sexy" HE Saw ME eat my BOOGER and WAX MY EAR" came out instead. Jake was so confused, he was wondering what he just walked into. The seemingly semi-retarded woman continued " this is your intern Bill." Bill punched her in the arm and asked why there wasnt rain, to which she responded because we ate all the indians, and Bill spit on her and looked at Jake and said "LETS RIDE maam"
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