Two Minutes You Will Never Get Back

Broke down on his luck was the dyslexic demon, and it was getting quite embarrassing appearing in a burst of mysterious puff in a statisticians lab when the results tally up to 99.9… You often don’t think about demons and consider them an evil force, little do we realize that they too suffer from ailments just like us.

There are ADD demons (ADDD) they can’t seem to last through a single incantation without setting themselves to flames due to excessive fidgeting, lots of volatile materials are used during those incantations, never underestimate the power of an Albino Newt’s left eye…

They also go through marriage, divorce, alimony, custody, paternity/maternity suits, etc… They really have it as bad as we do, it’s only due to them possessing demonic powers that they choose to alleviate their stress by fucking with us… Face it, if the shoe was on the other foot, you would do it too…

Wouldn’t you notice your shoe on the other foot? The right shoe on the left foot, and vice versa, usually hurts... but I digress…

A demon paying alimony is actually more of a challenge than it is for us. After all, we get paid jobs and as bad as it is supporting the little shits who chose their mother over your sorry ass, we still got the cash flow… Demons get paid nothing, literally nothing, after all its hell the birth place of slavery

This in turn prompts many demons to resort to theft, and as theft is encouraged in hell, and any righteous behavior is considered blasphemy, it makes the life of the ethical demons nearly impossible… Not only that, but with the open policy of thievery it takes “easy come easy go” to a totally different level…

So the next time you see a friend possessed, levitating above the bed, twisting their necks 360 degrees, and spewing green bile all over the room… Remember, it’s just a demon that’s just quite fed up with this bullshit, and perhaps all he is looking for is spare change and a shower…