Bossyboots

Bossyboots Jake was in a right mood. He was sat at the ‘naughty’ desk, kicking the desk legs, one hand propping up his head and the other hand holding a pencil. He was writing on his desk, about how fat his teacher was. Miss Broadbottom just ignored him. He should be polite to the other pupils, and then he wouldn’t get into trouble.
“Right class. Sports Day.” Announced Miss Broadbottom.
Suddenly Jake perked up from his mood.
“Next week is Sports Day, so I need some volunteers to represent the class for the throwing, jumping and running competitions.”
A forest of arms shot up into the air, all with the shout of ‘me, me, me’.
Lavinia Smethwick, who was a particularly large girl said, “Please miss, can I do the throwing? Pleeeease! I did really really well in throwing the rounders ball in Games Miss,” she pleaded. In fact, with those big strong arms of hers she very nearly broke the school record, as well as a nearby fence.
“Of course you can Lavinia.” Said Miss Broadbottom. Lavinia was so excited with being chosen she screamed so loud she hurt her voice, and the ears of her classmates.
“Huh! Serves you right Lavatory.” Scowled Jake. He hated prissy posh Lavinia. Lavatory was his nickname for her, Lavatory Smellywick. Miss Broadbottom glared at Jake.
“Okay class, who would like to do the jumping event?” Again a sea of hands shot up into the air.
“Me Miss.” Shouted Jake, who was almost jumping up and down to try and get noticed. Miss Broadbottom looked around the class and Jake tried to knock the arms down of those who were sat near enough to be hit with his ruler.
“Ah, Kevin.” Miss Broadbottom said pointing to the tallest person in the class. His trousers always looked too short for him.
“Yes Miss?” replied Kevin.
“Would you like to do the jumping event?”
“Yes!” he said as he punched the air with excitement.
I’ll punch you in a minute, thought Jake. He stared at Kevin in such a way that Kevin lost all his excitement and just sat back down quietly.

“Right class, lastly, who would like to do the running event?” and like before arms were thrust into the air. Miss Broadbottom looked around. She saw Jake glare at all the children who looked at him and as they did each in turn put their hand down.
“Me miss, me!” shouted Jake. He was waving both arms now in an attempt to get her attention.
“Jeremy,” said Miss Broadbottom, “what about you? You look like a very good runner.” Jeremy Softwash was her favourite pupil. Very clever and always obedient. A joy to teach, she often thought.
“Yes please miss!” he replied. Jake was sat close to him. In fact Jake was usually sat next to him, because he was always able to copy what Jeremy did and get good marks. However, Miss Broadbottom always knew what was going on and marked Jake down for copying. Jake picked up his exercise book, leaned over to Jeremy and whacked him in the face with it.
“Jake Malbrat!” shouted Miss Broadbottom. “You stop that at once.”
“But I wanna do the running.” Insisted Jake.
“But I’ve got a new pair of trainers that make me run really really fast. They’re Lynx Superspeeds Miss. Jimmy Deckhand the famous footballer wears them.” Said Jeremy.
Everyone looked down towards Jeremy’s feet to see a nice new pair of sparkly white and gold training shoes.
“I’ve got a pair better than those bits of rubbish,” shouted Jake. “And mine are specially made for running and are worn by the bloke who won all those gold medals at the Olympic Games this year.”
Jeremy looked at Jake’s trainers.
“Huh, they don’t look like fantastic shoes. They’re all tatty and worn. You won’t win races with those.”
“I don’t mean these you idiot. My special ones are at home. I only were ‘em for best.” Scowled Jake.
“I’m sorry Jake, but I’ve decided that Jeremy will do the running.” Said Miss Broadbottom.
Jake rolled up his exercise book and began to hit Jeremy across his head on his shoulder and all over his body. Jeremy put his arms over his head to protect himself.
“Stop it, stop it. Miss!” Cried Jeremy.
“I wanna do the running, I wanna do the running.” Screeched Jake.
“Jake stop that at once, you hear.” Shouted Miss Broadbottom. Some of the pupils started to shout ‘fight, fight, fight’.
“You better let me do it Softwash, or else!”
“Or else what?!” replied Jeremy.
“Or else I ain’t gonna stop hitting you ‘til you let me do the running.”
“No way.” Said Jeremy as he continued to be hit by the exercise book, which was now beginning to look rather ragged.
“Yes way!” growled Jake.
“Right children enough of this arguing!” Miss Broadbottom got in between the two and managed to take the exercise book from Jake, but not until she was hit by it a few times.
“If you don’t give it to me Softwash I’m gonna make your life a misery.” Snarled Jake.
“Okay then. If it means that much to you, you do the running. Miss I don’t want to do the running now. I think Jake wants to do it so much he should do it.” said Jeremy.
For the sake of peace and calm Miss Broadbottom thanked Jeremy for his generosity and told Jake, rather reluctantly, that he can do the running.
“Yessss.” He shouted. “Just watch me. I’ll beat everyone hands-down.”


Jake, as usual, had been the first person to run out of the classroom at the sound of the bell at the end of the day. He legged it as fast as he could into the park next to the school, collected a good amount of pinecones and climbed up a tree ready and waiting for passers-by. He never allowed his parents to pick him up from school ‘cos it was sissy, and he certainly never walked home with his horrible sister, ‘cos she was ugly and annoying. He enjoyed throwing the cones at people. They couldn’t get to him up the tree and so they just ran off crying or whinging. But no one came by today! Damn it, he thought. He got down and headed off home along the high street so he could have a look in the shoe shop window.

Wow. There they were, in the shop window, on their own special stand. They even had their own spotlight. Speedmerchant Silverstreaks. What a pair of shoes they were! All silver with small wings stitched on the sides of them. They must give the wearer their extra speed, thought Jake. Jake saw the price - £45. Expensive, he thought, but at least no one else in the school would have a pair like them. Dad can pay for them, he’s rich, he thought. And he ran home as quickly as he could. It would be good training.

“Dad, dad, dad!” shouted Jake as he ran past his mum into the living room. Dad was sat in his favourite chair with a pile of paper by his side and another pile on his lap.
“What is it lad? Can’t you see I’m a bit busy at the moment.” Dad said.
“I want a new pair of trainers. I’ve seen them in the shoe shop. I need them by the end of the week for the sports day.” Jake ranted.
“Slow down boy. What do you think I am? Made of money? Oh, that reminds me. Jemima!” Mr Malbrat shouted.
Jake’s older sister came running down stairs from her bedroom.
“Yes Daddy?” she said politely.
“But what about my trainers?” asked Jake.
“Just hold your horses lad.” Mr Malbrat said, and he returned his attention to Jake’s sister.
“Guess what me and Mummy have bought you?” he said.
“I have no idea Daddy. Did you get me a computer game?”
“No.”
“Ooh. Did you get me that pink dress we saw last week? The one with a fluffy purple elephants on it?”
“Yess!” said Mr Malbrat, and he leaned over and gave Jemima a great big hug.
“Oh thank you daddy. Thank you mummy.” She said as she turned to her mother.
“How come she gets pressies?” cried Jake.
“Because she does nice things around the house, like keep her room tidy, and put the top back on the toothpaste, and be polite, especially to the neighbours!” said Mrs Malbrat.
“Well for getting me the dress I’ll do the washing up mummy.”
Mrs Malbrat smiled at Jemima as she walked past and into the kitchen.
“See!” said Mr Malbrat to Jake.
“So, what about my new trainers that I want?”
“Well, if you do something nice and keep your room tidy maybe you might get what you’re after.”
Jake walked off in a huff and went into the kitchen.
“Creep!” he shouted at his sister.
She just ignored him and continued doing the washing up. Then Jake had an idea. He would wash his Dad’s car! It would save his Dad the trouble. He knew how much he hated doing it every other weekend. Jake took a bucket from under the sink, got Jemima to fill it with warm water then squirted some washing up liquid into it and then took a sponge scourer from off the sink. Getting rid of all the grime and dirt with one of these will be a breeze, Jake thought. Then he sneaked out to the side of the house where Dad’s car was parked and gave it the best clean he possibly could. He even had to climb on the roof and the bonnet to make sure the roof and bonnet got a good clean. He couldn’t reach them otherwise. Once the car was soaked with suds and had been given a thorough clean he went back in, got some clean water and then rinsed off all the soapy water leaving a gleaming wet car. By the time Jake had put all the cleaning stuff away and dried himself off, the sun had dried the car.

“Dad, dad, dad. Come and see. Now can I have my trainers?”
“What is it lad?”
“I’ve cleaned your car for you.”
“Have you? That’s fantastic. Thank you very much, and all without me asking you to as well.”
“Come on, have a look, have a look.”
Jake grabbed his Dad’s arm and dragged him outside to see his handi-work. When Mr Malbrat saw what Jake had done, his eyes nearly shot out of his head in shock.
“What have you done boy!” he bawled.
“Cleaned your car.” Said Jake.
“You’ve scratched every bit of it. You’ve removed the shine from the paintwork! Get to your room NOW!” Mr Malbrat was so purple with rage that he looked like a very large man-shaped grape.
“Humph. No pleasing some people is there. Now do I get my trainers?” asked Jake.
“The only trainers you’re going to get boy is my size ten trainers up your backside if you don’t get to your room this instant!” he shrieked. “I’m stopping your pocket money for good. Now GO!”

Jake sat on his bed in such a huge sulk that his bottom lip was jutting out almost beyond his nose. Some people are just so ungrateful, he thought. He thought back to the time he mowed the back garden lawn and ‘accidentally’ cut off the heads of all the flowers. And what about last autumn, when he cleared the back garden of all the windfall apples. His next-door neighbour Mr Grimes was so ungrateful when Jake had put all the apples he had collected into HIS back garden. How come grown-ups are so hard to please?! There must be something he can do to earn money to get these trainers.

When he was finally allowed downstairs for dinner he was forced to watch grown up programmes on television. He had been forbidden to watch children’s programmes and he even had his television confiscated from his room. Jake hated the news. It seemed that this was the only programme his mum and dad ever watched! It was nothing but old men in suits in old buildings shouting at one another, or some such war going on in a place he had never heard of. He rather liked that, because it was exciting. There was even some local news item about gangsters who were caught by the police for demanding money from people. A-ha. Now this gave Jake an idea.

The next day during morning play time Jake followed Jeremy out into the playground, then while the teacher wasn’t looking he grabbed Jeremy’s arm and dragged him into a hidden corner.
“What do you want now?” asked Jeremy who was struggling to break free of Jakes grip.
“I need money Softwash. And I need lots of it and fast. You got any on ya?” said Jake, still keeping hold of Jeremy and squeezing his arm a little tighter.
“No I gave my dinner money to Miss Broadbottom. The only thing I have is this.” And Jeremy pulled out a silver coin.
“That’ll do for starters, give it here.”
“But..”
But before Jeremy could do or say anything, Jake snatched it from him looked at it, and put it in his pocket.
“This is gonna be easy.” Said Jake.
“What is?” asked Jeremy.
“Collecting money from you lot.” Then Jake had a thought. If he were caught taking money from the rest of the pupils he’d be in big trouble.
“You’re gonna do the collecting for me Softwash.” Jake snarled.
“Collecting for what?”
“Lots and lots of money for my new pair of trainers. And if you don’t do as I say, I’m gonna give you a dead arm every playtime for a month. And if you tell teacher about this, I’ll give you a dead arm every playtime for two months. Understand?” Jake increased his grip, and then thumped Jeremy on the arm to remind him how painful a dead arm could be.
Jeremy nodded, rubbing his arm.
“You got ‘til tomorrow after school. You better have the money or else.” And with that Jake walked off as if nothing had happened, trying to behave as innocently as possible. Jeremy remained in the corner rubbing his arm. Boy did it hurt. He didn’t fancy that for the next month that’s for sure, and as for the next two months, no chance. Then remembering the coin Jake took from him, he had an idea.

During the next two playtimes that day Jake watched Jeremy Softwash with eagle eyes, making sure that Softwash did as he was told. He must have talked to sixty children. Each one seemed to happily agree with what was being told of them. Jake rubbed his hands with glee. This time tomorrow, he thought, he was going to be rich, and he was going to have those trainers. How fantastic it was going to be to enter the race with the best shoes in the school and how wonderful everyone would think he was when he won the race.

The following day during morning play time and lunch playtime he watched Softwash collect money from almost all the pupils. In fact, most of the pupils actually went to Jeremy and gave the money. Then during the last playtime of the day Softwash continued going around the playground collecting more money. Jake didn’t know what Softwash had told these people, but maybe he should do this more often. The bag that Softwash had was positively heaving with money. There was probably far more than what was needed to buy the shoes. Maybe he could buy something else, like a huge bag of sweets or the latest edition of MegaSuperheroes Of Doom comic.

When the bell went for the end of the day, Jake grabbed hold of Jeremy before he could leave the classroom. He dragged him to the furthest part of the playground so that no one else could see.
“Well?” Asked Jake.
“Well what?”
“The money. Where is it?” snarled Jake.
Jeremy reached into his school bag and produced a bag of cash the size of a large grapefruit. Jake snatched it from him, undid the knot that was stopping the money from spilling out and looked inside. It was filled with silver, copper and gold coins, and even some banknotes too.
“Fantastic!” said Jake, who then just ran off towards the high street leaving Jeremy all alone. Jeremy just smiled to himself.

Jake burst into the shoe shop.
“I wanna buy some trainers. Those silver ones in the window.” He announced. The shop assistants looked a little cross. They were busy serving other people.
“I have money!” Jake waved his bag in the air.
“Yes? How may I help?” said a rather old and wrinkly shop assistant. She had a pair of small spectacles perched on her nose and she looked down at Jake dis-approvingly.
“I want those silver trainers in the window.” Demanded Jake.
“And what size are you?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Here,” he said removing a shoe, “Have a look in that.”
The assistant took the shoe and went off into a back room. Jake sat down and waited. He noticed Daisy Chane, a soppy girl from his class, with her mother trying on new shoes. Jake sneered at her, and Daisy just lowered her head so she couldn’t see him.
The assistant came back with a handful of boxes, and Jake tried a whole load on before he had the right size.
“I’ll have these.” He said. The assistant begrudgingly thanked him and took the trainers to the counter.
“I trust you have the money to pay for these?” the assistant said.
“Of course I do. Do you think I’m stupid or summat?” Jake said. He took out his bag of money and plonked it on the counter. “There.”
The shop assistant opened the bag and peered in. She reached inside, had a rummage and pulled out something.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Looks like a button.” Said Jake.
The assistant put her hand in again and took a handful of coins, and inspected them.
“I’m afraid young man, that you can’t buy these shoes with this money.” She said
“Why not!?” shrieked Jake.
“Because all this money is foreign money. You can’t use it in this country.” She replied, with a satisfied smile on her face. She re-packed the shoes and put them behind the counter. Daisy looked up and giggled. Jake snatched the moneybag and ran out of the shop as quickly as he could and didn’t stop until he got home. Now he had no shoes for the Sports Day, how was he going to get out of it?

The next morning, in the playground, waiting to go into class, Jeremy asked Jake if he could see his wonderful trainers.
“Well, as luck would have it, all my special running stuff is in the wash.” Said Jake.
“Even your trainers?” asked Jeremy.
“Especially my trainers. They’re so special they need to washed.”
When the children were in class and all sat down, Jake shouted out, “Miss, I can’t do the sports day today.”
“Will you put your hand up before you call out Jake!” Miss Broadbottom snapped. Huffing and puffing, Jake put his hand up and repeated what he had said.
“What?!” Miss Broadbottom erupted, “After all the trouble you caused the other day, you’re telling me you can’t or won’t do it.”
“Can’t Miss.” Said Jake.
“And why not?”
“Cos all my sports kit is being washed Miss.”
Miss Broadbottom gave Jake an inquisitive look. Something told her Jake wasn’t exactly telling the truth.
“You’ll come and see me at the end of class today. You hear? Now class, does anyone want to take Jake’s place?”
Not a single hand shot up in the air.
“Jeremy?” asked Miss Broadbottom.
“Sorry Miss, I can’t I have no kit with me.
“Sarah-Anne,” Miss Broadbottom said pointing to a spotty little girl in the far corner.
“I can’t Miss. I’ve got a verruca on my foot and it hurts to walk on.”
Jake looked around the class desperately hoping someone would volunteer, but no one did.
“Well Master Malbrat, it looks like no one can take your place. Luckily for you we have some spare games kit in the headmaster’s cupboard. You can wear that.”
“Noooooooo.” Screamed Jake.

During morning playtime all the children in the school took their chairs out onto the playing fields and, ushered by the teachers, created an amphitheatre of seats from which to watch the competitions. Jake was dragged to the Headmaster’s office by Miss Broadbottom, was stripped down to his pants and vest and had put on him the spare sports kit including a pair of trainers.

Lavinia Smethwick did very well in the throwing event coming second, and Kevin Vannilladrop finished first in the jumping, beating everyone by a huge margin. Then again he did have very long legs.
Now it was time for the running event, but as the children lined up there was no sign of Jake. The teacher who was starting the race got everyone lined up on the starting line. She didn’t want to keep everyone else waiting. Then, just as she was about to drop her arm to start the race Miss Broadbottom came out of the school building holding Jake’s hand. Everyone turned round only to see Jake with the biggest sulkiest expression on his face. But best of all, for everyone who had clubbed together with all their foreign coins was the sight of Jake in very baggy white t-shirt and a huge pair of dark blue shorts that very nearly went down to his ankles. As he trudged to the start line accompanied by Miss Broadbottom and the Headmaster everyone noticed his black gym pumps. In fact they could hear them. One of the soles was so loose it flipped and flapped on the floor as he walked. Everyone pointed and giggled. Jake went redder and redder with a mixture of embarrassment and rage.

Jeremy smiled to himself. Serves you right, he thought. And everyone thoroughly enjoyed watching Jake make a fool of himself on Sports Day.




THE END