by Serena Blade
Continous of The Black Rose
| She could hear a cry from a distance. Where was it coming from, Morgana wondered as she tried to lift her head. She felt weak. She tried to open her eyes but the light that shined in her face forbade her to do so. The cry was persistent. Where am I? Morgana thought for a moment before she realized that she lay on the ground in her bedroom. It was daylight. |
The cry demanded attention.
“Sh!” Morgana said as she reached for her cell phone.
“You left me!”
Morgana removed the phone from her ear for a moment before she responded. Rae did not sound happy.
“What time is it?”
“How did you get home?”
Morgana had to think for a moment before she responded.
“I’m not sure.”
She could hear Rae snort with annoyance. “I was worried about you!”
“Worried that I might do something stupid?”
Morgana felt a pang of guilt. She looked around and noticed the desk lamp on. On the floor layed a pair of scissors. Was it all a dream? Morgana wondered.
“Oh, come on, Morg, I know you would never do anything stupid. Besides running off and not saying anything to that asshole.”
“What was I supposed to say? ‘I hope you two are very happy?’”
“More among the lines of ‘how the hell could you?’ Say something. But not run off.”
Morgana sighed. She felt a headache coming.
“I guess it really doesn’t matter, does it? The damage is done. And I -”
Morgana fell silent. She really did not know how to feel. Last night she felt hurt and ready to die. This morning she felt nothing. Almost as if what happened didn’t really matter.
“Look, Morg. I am not here to continue to put salt into the wound but the asshat had nothing to say.”
“Let’s not do this, Rae.” Morgana said before allowing her to speak any further. There was silence.
“Let’s get out of here. This summer. I have a beach house that my parents rarely go to. In fact, they are away to Europe.”
Morgana half smiled. Rae’s parents were never around. Even though she and Rae had only been friends the last year of high school, she had never met them. It was odd. They had that in common. Her mother was too busy avoiding her by working endless hours. The lack of parenthood was the bond that had made Rae her sister.
I was willing to leave her, Morgana thought cryptically as she neared the scissors. She reached for them.
“It will be great!” Rae continued to say. However, she was only half paying attention. Last night was a blur.
What had happened?
She examined the scissors, trying to figure out if what she had done was all in her mind.
I tried to kill myself. I remember the pain.
Morgana gasped suddenly as she stared at her wrist.
“Morg? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yes, sorry! I stubbed my toe!”
“Yeah. But I am okay. Sure, let’s get out of here. I wouldn’t mind.”
“Great! I’ll pick you up by six tonight.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll be ready.”
Morgana tossed her cell phone onto the bed. Her wrist, it was immaculate. There was no tear, no indication that she ever slit it.
It felt so real, Morgana thought. It must have been a dream.
A very vivid dream.
It had to be. Wounds don’t heal overnight and last night was an endless nightmare that made no sense. The only thing that was certain was her Angel, instructing her to follow.
But to where?
It was as if Morgana was walking in a fog and only certain pisces exposed itself. She also remembered Nuri invading her mind. However, nothing further came to her. It made her feel uncomfortable. She tossed the scissors back into the drawer and turned the desk lamp off. Morgana never noticed there was a few droplets of blood on the carpet, where she had laid the night before, slowly dying from her attempted suicide.
You will live!
This was the last thing Morgana remembered as she got ready to take a shower.
Morgana placed the note she wrote to her mother on the kitchen table. She wondered if she should even bother.
Would she even notice?
She heard the sound of a car entering the driveway. The horn blared.
“I’m coming!” Morgana said as she swung the front door open.
“Let’s go! We have a long drive!’
Rae helped her with her black duffle bag into the back seat of the Jeep.
“Talk about packing light,” Rae teased with a smile.
“Why pack when we can shop for new items!” Morgana responded. Rae rolled her eyes.
“I don’t like shopping. But for you, I’ll make an exception.”
“Such a gentleman!” Morgana said.
“Let’s hurry. We will arrive a little after the sun sets, if we are lucky.” Rae said as they both buckled up and headed towards the I -10 freeway. Morgana stared out the window as Rae blared some indie rock band and moved her upper body with the beat of the music. Morgana tried to smile and enjoy the moment. She was leaving behind her workaholic mother and a cheating boyfriend. She should have felt relieved. But the truth was her mind wandered to Guy. She had loved him for so long. He had been her distraction for the last four years of her life and now that he was gone she felt lost.
“I am here.”
Her Angel had returned. Morgana had not heard from it since last night. She scoffed and rolled her eyes. Only in my head, she thought.
Morgana looked over. Rae was busy singing and dancing that she did not notice her half hearted smile. It was true, if it wasn’t for Rae, Morgana did not know what she would have done without her for the last year of school.
Then her thoughts returned to her Angel. It was there for her, as well.
Yeah, maybe in spirit! You are all in my head! Morgana thought annoyed.
Her Angel sighed, almost as if disappointed. This bothered Morgana. What? Why won't you appear? What makes me think this is not all part of my wild imagination.
Morgana could not help but laugh out loud.
“Morg, you okay?”
“It’s nothing,” Morgana said with a sigh. “So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours. It all seems like a dream.”
Or a nightmare, Morgana thought.
Rae nodded in agreement. “Things will get better in time. I’m here.”
Morgana rolled her eyes trying to ignore her Angel, looked forward and noticed the traffic developing.
“Doesn’t look like we are going to arrive any time soon,” Morgana said.
“Yeah!” Rae responded with an irritated sigh.
Morgana was happy that she had slept through the ride. They had arrived at Rae's beach house late that evening. The Jeep drove onto a long driveway that parked in front of a white two story house. It was the last house on the street, far off on its own. Retrieving their bags, they reached up to the porch. There was a large French window on both sides of the door as well as pillars. Rae was opening the front door, complaining about the traffic when she reached with her right hand into the darkness and turned on the light. It revealed a foyer.
“Watch your step.” Rae said as she walked a few steps down towards an open room. It revealed a small kitchen to the left, a living room and a fireplace. There were metal white spiral stairs in the middle of the room, leading up to the second floor. Morgana was surprised at how plain the house was. It was all white. No other color.
“Um, your parents are not too keen on color?” Morgana wondered as she placed her duffle bag down on the white marble ground.
Rae stared at her for a moment. Almost as if she was thinking of what to say next.
Oh, no, Morgana thought. Have I said something wrong?
Rae’s face was expressionless.
“I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I was just sur-”
Rae waved her hand, dismissing her concern.
“My parents are not too keen on a lot of things. I’m sure you will also notice there are no electronic devices. This is a place to explore the outdoors and forget the outside world. At least for the time being.”
“Oh, well that makes sense.” Morgana said with a weak smile.
“There is more color upstairs I assure you.” Rae said with enthusiasm as she escorted Morgana up the stairs. When they reached the top Morgana’s eyes focused on the oriental rug of royal blue and gold. It lay over the white marble. The walls were white with no decorations of any sort. Morgana did not understand why this bothered her.
Feels more like a model home than an actual home, Morgana thought.
She wondered if Rae’s parents ever stepped foot in this house. There weren’t even photos displayed on the walls. Morgana wanted to ask but thought she might insult Rae. She knew that her parents were never around but she didn’t expect it to feel as though her parents didn’t exist!
Morgana shook her head, dismissing such a thought.
Of course her parents exist!
Rae led her to the door that was at the end of the hallway. They passed two other doors to their right and another one to their left.
Rae placed her right hand on the golden knob. Before she opened it she turned to Morgana and said: “This is the Master bedroom. It has wide french doors that open to the balcony. The scenery of the beach is gorgeous! Especially when the sun rises from the east and goes down towards the west. The colors! Amazing!”
Morgana took a moment, envisioning all those colors displayed in the sky as the waves crashed to the shore. It brought a smile to her face.
“Why would you give it to me?” Morgana asked, confused.”
“Because I hate mornings!” Rae said as she opened the door. “The sun tends to embrace this room as early as five.
The room was huge as it consisted of a king size canopy bed, black silk bed sheets and pillows, a white marble french fireplace, and black silk drapes.
“There are no electronic devices as you mentioned.” Morgana said as walked in the middle of the room. To her right was the walk-in closet and bathroom. She smiled with delight.
“Are you sure you want to give me this room?”
“I’m positive. Besides, my room is the only room that has a Smart T.V mounted to the wall!”
Both girls laughed.
“Besides, being near the water is considered therapeutic. You need to ground yourself and release all negativity in your life.”
Morgana looked at her with surprise. For the year that she had known Rae, she had never heard her speak this way. Sure, Rae would sometimes speak very formal, almost as if she belonged in the past. But this was new.
“What?” Rae asked.
“Where did you hear that? Sounds like something from a New Age book. Don’t tell me you're a witch?” Morgana said, humorously.
Rae smiled weakly. “There are certain things in my life that are best left unsaid, for everyone’s sake.”
Morgana stared at her confused. What does she mean? She wondered. She wanted to ask but then Rae clapped her hands, like ending the conversation. But her thoughts still lingered. She wondered what, Rae felt, was better left unsaid.
“This is where we depart! Get ready! We are hitting the town.” Rae said as she was exiting the room.
“Wait, tonight?” It’s almost 9?
“I know! Which means you need to get ready. The fun doesn't begin till after 10. I’ll be back in a few.”
Rae was gone before Morgana could protest. She went up to the French doors to see her surroundings. She swung them open and was immediately engulfed in a warm breeze, exposing her fair skin to the salty air and refreshing darkness. The ocean lay before her like a thick black blanket, only to hear the sound of the waves crashing towards the shore. There was laughter and chatter from those nearby. Bonfires were seen sporadically on the sandy beach and music played from afar. To her right she noticed the pier and the carnival. The ferris wheel stood tall, reflecting its lights onto the surface of the ocean. Morgana took in a deep breath and smiled. For a moment she felt peaceful. Maybe Rae was right about the ocean being therapeutic.
Soon she was dressed in tight blue jeans and a black spaghetti strap blouse. Her shoulder length wavy black hair was swept half way up. Morgana had hooded light brown eyes and cupid lips, to which she loved to put on a vibrant red lipstick. She took a look at herself in the bathroom mirror and half heartedly smiled. She had never liked being so short at five feet - two inches. She wanted to be tall and curvy like…
Maybe that is why Guy wanted her, Morgana thought.
She was tall, with long legs, blond thick hair and big animated dark green eyes. Nuri was sexy and flirty.
I never was, Morgana concluded with a sigh of sadness. The only thing Guy ever complimented her was her thick thighs, a body of a guitar. But that was not enough to keep him around.
“Stop that! He was an imbecile!”
Morgana was annoyed. Her Angel was back - but was not wanted nor needed at that moment.
“Leave me alone!” Morgana cried out.
There was a tap on the door.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Rae walked in without a response. She entered the bathroom with a concerned look.
“Wow! You look hot!” Morgana said, changing the subject. She whistled as Rae blushed.
“Oh, well, uh, thanks! Nothing different.” Rae said.
Rae wore her usual setting: slacks: black, a collar button dress shirt: white, and suspenders. Occasionally when the weather would drop, she would wear a black bomber jacket.
“It’s not like you’ve never seen me wear this.” Rae said.
“Yes, and everytime you take my breath away. Such a beautiful man.”
Rae laughed with a sigh. “You’re such a tease. If you could only love me!”
“I do!” Morgana interjected.
She meant it, too. She knew Rae cared for her more than a friend. But that was something Morgana could not control. Maybe life would have been different if she had dated Rae. In the end Guy Jamerson was the cause of her broken heart and Rae was there to pick up the pieces. It wasn’t fair, but neither was the heart.
“Are you ready?” Rae asked.
“Yes,” Morgana said, happy that Rae had changed the subject.
As they walked down the stairs Morgana couldn’t help but think: Maybe there are some things in Rae’s life that are best left unsaid.