Boundaries

Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, but will use my life experience as a reference.

The word "Boundary" is mostly heard or seen. What I plan to write is about "boundary" in a relationship. According to the website, "verywellmind". "Boundaries can be described as how emotionally close you let people get to you. They are also where you draw the line within a relationship. They say how much you are willing to give or take before requiring that things change or deciding to call it quits.".

So, clearly, based on this definition. Three scenarios could be interpreted. The first one is when you just met an individual. Second is when you are friends with them or give them your trust and confidence. Third scenario is when that trust was broken and what happens next?

So the first one is described as "how emotionally close you let people get to you." That is, by the amount of time spent with them, how willing are you to let them in your "space" or in your "comfort zone". Again, that varies for each individual. Well for me, generally, it will take at least six months before I could really feel comfortable with someone. Before I tell them what frustrates me and my worries. But like I said, it depends on each individual.

Second, is described as "where you draw the line within a relationship". In this setting, trust and confidence is given. However, you allow what you want to share and expect that they will not share so much details as well. For me, personally, before I share news to my friends. Usually, I say "I have some news". In order to ask for their permission for me to share information, because on the other hand they might be feeling overwhelmed. I do not want to invade their privacy or boundary intentionally.

Third, is described as " how much you are willing to give or take before requiring that things change or deciding to call it quits." In this scenario, trust and confidence was broken. Sometimes when we forgive someone, it does not automatically mean that we have to reconcile with them. It is up to the individual whose trust and confidence was destroyed whether to continue giving or not. If they decide that they will give it another chance, the one who violated the trust and confidence should not expect the same kind of trust and confidence just like before.

A final note, just because they have no idea that they did not hurt you does not mean that your feelings are not valid. They do not get to say what you feel. If you feel violated in any manner even if they did not do it intentionally, my friendly reminder is that you should set a boundary. For your feelings alone is justifiable even if they disagree. If they do disagree. Then maybe, they just never truly cared about what you feel right from the beginning? As they always say, actions are more important than words.

Thoughts?