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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Dark · #2307365
A conversation with a skeleton regarding Halloween.
It’s in the Bones

“What the…! There’s a skeleton in my closet.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“A skeleton that talks !”

“Very observant of you.”

“No need to be so sarcastic. It’s not something that happens every day.”

“Be grateful. That means the Underworld Council don’t have much to say to you.”

“The Underworld Council? And what the heck is that?”

“Sorta the body - haha, pun intended - that runs things for us dead people. Like your local council but more efficient.”

“I see. So bureaucracy never ends.”

“That’s it. Turtles all the way down.”

“And a skeleton that quotes Douglas Adams at me. But what are you doing in my closet?”

“Waiting for you. As I hinted before, the Council wants to say something to you.”

“I feel honoured.”

“Actually, you should be. It’s not often the Council gets concerned because one of the living isn’t paying enough attention to Halloween. You musta done something to piss them off in some way.”

“Can’t think what that would be. I never celebrate Halloween.”

“That there might be the problem, Chadwick, my friend.”

“Oh, so you get to know my name but I don’t suppose I get to know yours. And I’m not your friend.”

“Hmm, a bit touchy, aren’t we? I had to be told your name since it was my job to find you. If it matters, my name’s Bertram. Or was, anyway. But you can call me Bert.”

“Howdy-do in that case. And call me Chad.”

“No problem. Now, about your Halloween observance. Or non-observance rather.”

“I’m English. We don’t do Halloween anymore.”

“Like I don’t know that. The point is, Chad, that you don’t do anything about it. No stock of candies for any little visitors you might have, no costumes to scare ‘em, nothing to participate in the community aspect of it at all. It’s not as if a plastic pumpkin on the porch is going to break you, is it? You’re a Halloween Grinch, you are. And it’s not good for relations between the living and the dead.”

“You make it sound almost worth worrying about.”

“Jeez, and you call me sarcastic? Don’t you care about your ancestors, all those good and sound people who lived their lives just to produce you? It’s disrespectful.”

“Not really into all that ancestry bit. Can’t see that it matters a lot. I’m here now and just have to get on with it. And why should that be important to some dead guys‘ council or other? Live and let live, say I.”

“Bit late for me, that. But you’re a hard bastard, Chad. All I’m asking is that you keep a few treats for any kids that come calling on Halloween night. Is that too much to ask? Or do I have to haunt you for years to get you to comply?”

“Hmm. Must admit I don’t like the sound of that. Okay, you’ve convinced me. A bowl of candies once a year, it is,”

“Mission accomplished. See you on the other side”

Word count: 500
For The Dialogue 500, October 2023
Prompt: A skeleton tries to convince you why you should celebrate Halloween.

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