The definition of me

I'm broken beyond repair
by a life that is everything but fair
I curse myself for hanging on for so long
should have giving in when the first thing went wrong

But I've always been stubborn as few
guess it's something you already knew
Unable to learn from my mistakes
my sore heart aches and aches

Will I be continuing to endure my life whatever it takes
just keep ignoring the fact that every single part of it breaks
Of course the answer is as obvious as can be
unable to turn back and walk away is the definition of me

I hate myself for being such a dumb man
can't do what everyone except from me can
There's no need to feel any kind of doubt
death alone is the only thing with the capacity to take me out

How much longer do I have to wait for him
before he finally decides to let my eyes
go dim?
I'm fed up with crying in agony and pain
knowing I'm getting more and more insane