The Final Good Bye

Ajaleya was an Apple Gall being created by an oak gall wasp. She was one known for being very patient and kind being. One whom was always ready to bestow kind loving words to all those she encountered, and had been created from essence of Azalea flower, lavender, forget me not flower, stone and lizard.

An Angry Bird

One afternoon, while working in her garden, Ajaleya heard a most dreadful, as well as, annoying sound. It sounded like someone hitting a metal hammer repeatedly on a piece of wood. This was not the first time she had heard this sound, it seemed to her, she had heard it happening a few other times over the past couple of weeks. She looked from side to side, and not seeing anything, decided to look up. There, there it was. The sound was definitely coming from high above. It was coming right from the tree in which she lived. A tree, which was a very old walnut, being at least 200 years old.

She could not believe her eyes, for there she saw her long time friend, Carmen banging her beak against the tree. This was not unusual for Carmen, as she was an Acorn Woodpecker, and they were known for pecking on trees, but it appeared as though Carmen was terribly upset.

“Carmen, whatever are you doing up there?”, asked Ajaleya.

Carmen looked down to Ajaleya, and decided to fly down and sit at her feet. Looking up, she said, “Good afternoon dear friend. I am sorry if I disturbed you, it's just that I am so so angry and upset! I am just besides myself!”, as she flustered her feathers.

Ajaleya felt badly for Carmen, she never liked seeing anyone angry, or upset, and so asked, “What has made you so angry, and why are you taking it out on my home?”

“Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for taking it out on your home. I just started pecking on the first tree I could find, which happened to be this one.” Carmen replied, as she raised a wing towards the tree. She then continued, “Lately, I just feel very angry, and mad most of the time. It makes me feel like exploding and hitting something!”, said Carmen.

Seeing Carmen in so much pain, was hard for Ajaleya to see. Also, she knew, being angry and upset can be exhausting. Then, not to know why, was even more frustrating. Something needed to be done to help her friend.

“Well, I just made some sunflower seed biscuits. Why don't we step inside and have some of those biscuits, along with some fresh honey the bees recently gave me. Maybe we can figure out together what is making you so mad.”, said Ajaleya.

Carmen sat at the table while Ajaleya brought out a nice warm pot of tea, the biscuits, and a jar of honey. Ajaleya also remembered how much Carmen liked peanuts, sunflower seeds, and fruit, and so set a bowl filled with all of these goodies next to the biscuits.

The Source of Carmen's Pain

“Ok Carmen, maybe we can start with trying to figure out at least one of the things that has made you angry, how does that sound?”, asked Ajaleya as she set a plate in front of Carmen.

Carmen took a deep breath, then took a sip of tea, and ate a peanut. She suddenly felt much calmer and began to speak.

“Well, I don't know where to begin, there are soooo many things that are making me angry lately!” said Carmen.

“Ok, what can you remember as being the first thing, that you can think of, which made you mad or upset?”, asked Carmen.

Carmen sat thinking for a few moments and then said, “It was the news that my dear friend Emile was very very sick, and might die. Emile is like a brother to me, and the thought of him being so sick, and I can't do anything about it, and then that he is dying hurts so much.” She looked down, and Ajaleya saw there were tears coming from Carmen's eyes.

“Oh my dear Carmen, news like that would make anyone upset, angry, hurt, and even scared.”, Ajaleya said as she went and put her arms around Carmen.

“I'm so so mad! Why does Emile have to be so sick? Why does he have to die? Why can't I do anything to help? I feel so useless, so helpless. I'm so mad at the world right now! I just feel like exploding!”, said Carmen.

Ajaleya could understand Carmen's feelings and emotions very well. Several months before, she had lost a dear friend to a horrible sickness. She still ached terribly from that loss. When it first happened, all she could do was cry. She also was angry, and felt very helpless. It wasn't bad enough her friend was dying, but she watched that friend in so much pain before they died. It is so difficult to see one you love, be in so much pain, and not be able to ease that pain, and they are gone forever.

Saying Good Bye

“Carmen, hearing that someone you love is dying is one of the hardest things for anyone to hear, or experience. Knowing that you cannot heal them or ease their pain, only makes bearing this reality far more difficult. What I did when I found out my friend was dying, was to be by her side as often as I could. I would read or sing to her. We would go for walks, when possible. I would find ways to ease her physical discomfort with cold cloths, music, or whatever she asked for. I did this as much as I possibly could. I did this until her last breath. I tried not to let her see me cry, I held those tears for when I was alone, or with other friends.”, said Ajaleya, as she handed a tissue box to Carmen, to wipe her tears.

Carmen looked at Ajaleya with tears still streaming down her face, and said. “I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I am strong enough. I see Emile is so sick, and in so much pain, I want to scream, and I start crying again. I don't understand why this has to happen! I don't want this to happen! Emile should not have to suffer like this! I want his pain to stop, and I don't want Emile to die!”, cried Carmen.

Ajaleya held, and gently stroked Carmen's wing. “No one ever likes this, or wants this to happen. The pain you feel is because of the love you have for him, and the pain of knowing he'll no longer be there physically. But remember, he is not gone yet. You still have some time left with him. This time is all about him, and his leaving this world. Share that love you have for him now, when it is the most important. Hold his hand, talk to him, ask him what he would like.

When my friend was dying, by sitting and talking with her, I found she felt badly, not just from her illness, but from seeing all of her friends hurting for her. Can you imagine, they are leaving this world, knowing they will not see all of their friends again either, and the friends they do see, are in so much pain at losing them, they become to feel responsible for that pain. I could not help but wonder, this feeling has to make their passing, for them, even more difficult. That's why I began spending my time with her in a different frame of mind. Now, because I did that, I have wonderful memories of those final days with her. We laughed, and cried and shared many wonderful moments, I hope in my heart, she left this world feeling that way also.”

Carmen gave Ajaleya a hug, wiped her tears and said, “I am so glad I found you today my dear friend. I will go and see Emile immediately, and do as you suggested. I cannot thank you enough”.

As Carmen started to fly away, Ajaleya said, “Remember Carmen, you can always come here. You are never alone when you have friends and family. We can share tears, talk of our good friends, and what they have meant to us. Sharing their lives is our way of keeping them alive.”

With that Carmen blew an air kiss to Ajaleya, and flew off to spend time with her dear friend Emile.