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Public Reviews
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326
Review of Lonely Hearts  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Alone and in shame she wandered the streets aimlessly, knowing she took the same path as her mother."

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this story! This story was very touching. I enjoyed the ending as it made me happy that she found someone to love. Love can be a powerful tool in someone's life. Nice work on this story! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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327
327
Review of Proposal In A Jar  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "As she popped the lid, she realized they’d been personalized. She flipped over one of the candies and paused, her mouth falling open in astonishment."

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this short story! This short story was so beautiful. You have inspired me to write about when my husband proposed to me. It brought me back to that moment. Thank you for writing this piece. ^_^ Nice work!

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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328
328
Review of Iraqi Woman  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Fear chokes my breath, I'll suffocate
Thick sweat pops out - can't run - too late
Death has already claimed my mate."


Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! I really liked this poem. It was sad, yet strangely informative. I guess as Americans, we do not really take into perspective how the innocent bystanders of Iraq feel. Nice work portraying this! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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329
329
Review of Stay Strong  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Waiting for you
To come along
Looking for you to hold them
So hold on."



Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This poem was very inspiring. I found the beginning stanzaz to be quite captivating. I liked how the poem expanded, and the ending was especially sweet. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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330
330
Review of Being a woman  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Above that she is told not to groan
Slowly she forgets her own
Then she forgets her own... "Then she remembers she's all alone." Just a suggestion.


Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! I gave you a suggestion for the last line. The two ending lines seem to say the exact same thing. Otherwise, I really liked this poem. I could relate to it on a personal level. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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331
331
Review of Biting The Dust  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: " As they all watched, "noone" noticed the small group of creatures that had squeezed themselves under the door, and made their way down the stairs, mouths drooling, looking for food."



Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: A couple spelling errors, but otherwise, nice work. I fixed the imagery category for you.

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this short story! This was quite a fascinating piece. I found the ending to be quite interesting. It was interesting how you incorporated DNA into your story. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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332
332
Review of Night Shift  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Joe nodded at Mark and turned toward his desk. No one saw him grin and lick the last of Julie’s blood off his canines. He’d done a favor for his friend and had his snack, too."



Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this short story! Very creative piece, and very well-written. I especially enjoyed the ending. I found it to be quite amusing actually. Nice work on this piece, I hope to see more! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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333
333
Review of Home/Love  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "I am not a stalker
I don’t know how I lived before I met you
My life stands still when you not near me"



Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: I took out the "was" in the second line of the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work.

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! I can relate to the feelings in this poem. This is how I feel about my husband. I feel that my life truly began when I met him. I am glad that you have someone like this in your life. ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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334
334
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Laura opened the front passenger door and helped the two girls into the bucket seat. She pulled the seatbelt across both their laps then moved the shoulder strap from in front of their faces to behind their heads. My mouth fell open as I watched her walk around to the driver’s side, then drive off."



Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this story! Wow, this was almost unbelievable. I couldn't believe reading this story, that a mother would really do that to her child. This story was so sad at the ending. I assume by the ending that the service was called, but what happened after that? Sorry, I am just curious. Nice work again! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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335
335
Review of Trick or Tweet  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "I still get tweets from each of them. The experts say they’re not real. Something about the electrolytes having a life of their own and repeating past messages. It’s hard to handle. I still cry whenever I get tweets like “Thinking of you!!!” from Carolyn, “Love you, Dad” from Megan, or even just “Hi” from Chad.

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this story! This was an amazing story. I found the ending to b e so sad. The was such an innovative story as well. Nice work capturing such emotion into this story. I really enjoyed this. Nice work again! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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336
336
Review of Myself and I  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:
"This is me
I am true
To myself
And to you"



Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This was in teresting, and well-written. I liked what the concept was about, and I liked how you defined yourself. Confidence is a wonderful thing to have. Nice work.

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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337
337
Review of Love Wears a Mask  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Lucy granted him a smile. He was her fiancé; they were going to get married. This marriage is going to be built on love and caring. They would build a love that would last forever, and nothing will break it. She knew it in her heart. If she were able to read her fiancé’s mind right now, she’d see that he was having exactly the same thoughts."

Emotion:Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this short story! This was an interesting tale, and very well-written. The ending was nice too. You should make a part 2. Nice work again. ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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338
338
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Second thing humans got the psyche and nature of 'Getting Used To' like dope fiend, more and more you become drug addictive less and less it effects on you."

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this essay! This was quite interesting. I found this to be informative and insightful. I especially liked the quotes which were used. Nice work overall, and keep up the great work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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339
339
Review of My Oxygen  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:"She was my oxygen.
Just one little molecule of air,
she put that there.
She gave me my first.
She gave me her last."



Emotion: This was so sad..=(

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! I am so sorry for your loss, and I give you my deepest condolences. It sounds like your Mother was an amazing person, and you really do have a talent. Nice work on this poem! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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340
340
Review of New beginning  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "but not forgetting that;
I will get through this okay.

That none of it matters anyway."


Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! You may want to consider changing the font so the poem could be more readable. I had a hard time reading this poem. The ending was interesting, but I could not really read the concept of the poem through the font. Good work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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341
341
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:
"Silly little bird,
I see you leap and play.
I wish that I could soar,
the way you do so gay.

I see you in the sky.
I watch you as you sway.
like a gentle lover,
upon the breeze you stay."


Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: I started to break the poem into stanzas to make it a little more readable. Just a suggestion. Otherwise, nice work!

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This was quite a cute little poem, and I truly enjoy poems or stories which include our furry little friends. I have written a couple of animal poems myself. Animals can be an excellent inspirational tool. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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342
342
Review of king on the hill  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "There's a king on the hill
looking down at the land
his golden crown blinding all
looking up from the ground."

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! I really liked the imagery and descriptions. The last stanza was especially beautiful. Nice work on this poem and I found the concept to be inspiring. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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343
343
Review of The Artist  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: “Are you coming?” A woman stood at the edge of the road below him. She was carrying his son. He waved and looked back at the super powered truck with a barrel of diesel strapped behind the cab."

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this short story! This short story was interesting. I found the concept to unique. The last line I did not quite understand. “I’ll be right there.” He braced and ran down into the past." Maybe you can clarify this for me. Otherwise, nice work! ^_^


Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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344
344
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Thank you so much for spending your life loving me and taking such good care of all my needs and also a lot of the stuff that I wanted as well. You always had your own ways of making me feel so special."

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this letter! This letter was well-written and well-thought out. It was so beautiful, and I am giving you a perfect 5 star for the emotions and feelings portrayed. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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345
345
Review of In This World  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "I discover when I look in space
At that face
That it is me talking and
I know, that she is right
I move towards the light
Into the beautiful…"

Emotion:Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This was quite interesting and innovative. The concept of this piece was creative. I thought this poem was well-written and well-thought out. Nice work on the ending as well. Keep up the great job! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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346
346
Review of I Am  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "I am shining but not bright
I am destiny without sight

I am empty but not none
I will multiple and become one."


Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This poem was so well-written and well-thought out. I found this poem to be so beautiful. I liked the innovation of this concept. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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347
347
Review of My Own Tongue  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "I want to feel the raspy scouring of a g at the back of my throat

and I want to roll r after forceful r from my tongue like waves onto a rocky beach"

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! I can relate to a "native tongue." I really enjoyed this poem, and found this concept to be enlightening. This was very well-written and well-thought out. Excellent job! ^_^ Keep up the great work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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348
348
Review of Accepting Love  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "She didn't say anything for a few seconds. "What. Are you talking about?"
Ben licked his lips, taking a breath. "I love you, Ivy."



Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this short story! This short story was interesting. I really liked the ending. I think everyone gets to this point at one time or another in their life. Sometimes it comes when a boy/girl is young, sometimes it doesn't happen until they are adults. However, love will happen sometime. Nice work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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349
349
Review of Whirlwind  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "The waves crashed gently onto the shore with soothing, rhythmic timing.
My mind needed a break.
My body wanted love.
Memories of our love will keep me young always."

Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! The imagery and descriptions were simply divine in this poem! I loved the ending. Love is such an inspiration for poetry and short stories. Nice work portraying true love! Keep up the great work! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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350
350
Review of No Sudden Moves  
Review by Lolita-New Book!
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions and I mean no offense by them.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"“Kitty?” called Amanda, “Come on, kitty, I won’t hurt you.”

The six year old body bent low, trying to see under the bush. She thought she saw a bit of orange and bent down lower until she was on all fours for a better look.

“Kitty?”


Emotion: Nice emotion

Grammar and Spelling: I have fixed up the imagery category for you, and roken the paragraphs into a dialogue sequence. Otherwise, nice work! ^_^

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this short story! This was adorable. I have 3 cats, so I love anything with klittens in a story. ^_^ I actually owned a tabby cat, and I know how restless they get. Nice work portraying their emotions! Keep up the great job! ^_^

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book Will Release on July 1, 2011! Please Give Me Your Support!

Blessings~
Nataly del
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