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448 Public Reviews Given
449 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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151
151
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really like the poem, but in order for it to have balance this is my suggestion.

Please do not be offended this review is intended to help your writing.



IF I COULD GET JUST ONE MORE CHANCE TO CHANGE WHAT I HAVE DONE.
I'D TAKE MORE TIME IN MY LIFE FOR WHY YOU GAVE YOUR SON. instead of took, take.

WHEN DOING WHAT SATAN WANTS IT SEEMED LIKED THE LIFE TO LIVE.
NEVER TAKING SERIOUS MY LIFE YOU DID NOT HAVE TO GIVE.

WHOEVER THINKS THE DAY BEFORE THE NEXT DAY YOU MAY NOT SEE.
MY MIND IS CAUGHT BETWEEN TWO WORLD'S AND WILL NOT SET ME FREE.

UNTIL YOU OPENED UP MY EYES AND GRANTED LIFE BACK TO ME. This line changed to this:


YOU OPENED UP MY EYES AND GRANTED LIFE BACK AGAIN .
(NO LONGER WILL I BE INVOLVED TO DO THE WILL OF MAN.) or choose one or the other

(THE NEXT TIME I MAY NOT END UP WHERE THIS POEM BEGAN!!) I would leave this line out



These are just suggestions to help balance the poem Balancing with 8 lines instead of 9.

You have a good base for a poem you just need to work it out.


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152
152
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I thought the first paragraph that introduced the reader to the two twins Melissa and Bertha showed imagination and
action. Which grabbed my interest and made me want to keep reading.
The paragraph showed the story instead of telling it. It also reveals the character's personality traits of the two twins.

Menon (wearing the same old stressed-out expression, an unsuitable tint rouge) ..
Bertha doing( what was a reflex reaction on her part....crying over her predicament.)

I thought the writer presented their life sequences in a very informative way.
The births of the two twins also their families background and the similarities yet the differences of the twins.

The story related to the joy and happiness the twins shared when they where young and the also the harsh reality they encountered, when their parents died in a fire, and when Melissa's true love died in an accident.
The responsibilities that they had to take on in a court custody suit involving Bertha's two year old daughter..

I absolutely loved the ending the twins regained their determination to live life with happiness, after a along time
of despair.

This sentence says it all.
The two hopeful butterflies spread their wings and flew beyond the highest zenith of the sky visible to a normal eye.

Summary: I really enjoyed reading this story. I thought the story line was very well written.
I thought the characters were alive and well defined. Great word imagery.
I could not find anything that I did not like.
Well done!

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153
153
Review of Berserk  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As I started to read this. I thought clown and immediately envisioned a happy face with a big red nose.
.
The more I read the story, I began to realize that looks are deceiving and nobody knows the hurt and

frustration behind the face of a clown.

I like the way you immediately brought in the other point of view from being a happy go lucky clown,
.
to a frustrated miserable person hiding behind a clown's face.

The fact that nobody regarded him as a person,and they only saw a clown that was suppose to perform.
.
There is probably more truth to your story than we want to admit.

I like the you way demonstrated how people would disregard his feelings when he protested and said he was

off the clock.They still wanted him to perform and do tricks, until he just could not take it anymore and went

berserk. Pushed past the point of reason, to insane behavior.

Than after all his psychotic behavior, he resigned himself to his fate of being a clown.

Summary: I found the story to be very interesting and possibly alarmingly true.
I liked that you demonstrated what could really be lurking behind a clown's face.
I could not think of anything I did not like.

The story made me question does it have to be a clown or could it happen to anyone pushed to far, to go Berserk!.

Well written!



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154
154
Review of Covered Trails  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

As I read this poem I felt the rhyme scheme was quite good, but I though there were to many

I cry I smite I smile I' m hurt I' m brave.

I realize the poem is written in simple words, but to me it lacks word arrangement to make the poem

less repetitive.

What I did like is the message of sincerity that the writer is conveying to the reader about feelings of

commitment.

The writer is saying no matter what circumstances come your way whether your in pain or depressed I will not

only be there with you, but I will also go through it.with you.

This is only my interpretation from reading the poem, and it is only my opinion on what this poem says to me.

Summary: What I didn't like: Too many I 's becomes repetitive perhaps rearranging the words around.
What I did like : A sincere message of commitment and love no matter what circumstances come along.
Simplicity of writing.



Over all I felt it was written with a sincere heart!.


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155
155
Review of Double Trouble  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am a great lover of animals, so I can totally relate to pets adding so much love and companionship to a home.

I love this rhyming poem it has a bouncy musical read to it just like your two dogs scurrying from room to room.

I like that you have added a humorous tone to the poem about the mischief Toots and Socks get into.

As I read your poem you remind me of the two cats, that I have Buddy and Mimi and what dear friends they

have been to me through my time of need.


Summary: This is a delightful well written poem with wonderful word imagery!
Well balanced with a musical rhythm and a touch of humor
Over all I really enjoyed reading it.


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156
156
Review of Jesus  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

As I was reading this I thought to myself this must be written for a song

Because that is what it reads like.

I could see this being sung on a guitar with musical instruments in the background.

It has a lovely rhythmic flow, but some what too repetitive to my liking.

I find the words are simple but with a lot of deep meaning.

You’re everything to me, Jesus
You died for me, how could you be
So kind

(These words right here are what make this lyrical poem worth more than any thing in the world)
Summary:
Wonderful meaningful words with a true message of Salvation
Somewhat repetitive
lovely rhythmic flow
Nicely written

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157
157
Review of A VIEW ON REVIEWS  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
How interesting a review on reviewing.

I think everything you wrote is just common sense and should be entered into Writing.com's recommendations

for hospitable reviewing. I would go one step further and say If you are begging for reviews, then you should

reciprocate your reviewer with a review. If everyone would send a note and thank the reviewer like you said

and offered to review their work,.what a great atmosphere of cooperation that would create.

I like the fact that you have enough guts to tell the writers get on the ball and start being courteous.

I applaud your efforts and I know exactly what your talking about, because I have done many reviews

and have not received any communication back nothing, and a lot of the reviews were positive and well rated.

I especially like your humor here:

Tihs is grate! Keep up teh goood werk!@!!" then I send back the simple message, "Thanx for your review of my essay

This very well written and I hope a lot of people will take it to heart and it will not fall on deaf ears.


Summary: Great instructional message
Sharing your point of view on reviewing and being honest
Great sense of Humor



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158
158
Review of Mystery Meat  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I do not think I like to be reminded of a nuclear fall out and this story makes the hair on the back of my

neck stand up in fear.

The suggestions of Cannibalism are so distasteful, yet in reality are probably true if you have no recourse

and your are starving to death .Can we eat the head? Yeah put in the stew.


This story makes the reader face some real possibilities that may exist in the future.

Such as a nuclear war and the extinction of land and animals and the true nature of man

being wild in his instincts to survive just like the rest of the wild animals.

It also sounds like the writer is delivering a warning , to humanity that this in fact could be our future.


I found this story to be a very disturbing and gruesome but probably true in its message.


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159
159
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
As I read this poem I find that it lacks rhythmic flow it is choppy and hard to rhyme

The lines are too long and take away from the flow example

Grounded from my ball
Outside, I pick up sticks
Hiding rocks in my overalls
Through the acres, I watch for ticks
Maybe something like this

And watching out for ticks


l

My ball taken by divest,
I find a place roaming top the hill
Quiet and peaceful, a place of rest
So much different than inside the mill

So much different than inside the mill


something like this

So much different than the mill

This does not rhyme

But working late in the mill
Is cause for my grounding
Never again will I slowly till
But with haste, I will be pleasing

I would suggest going over this poem and balance it out.

The idea is great it is just not delivered very well.

This is just my opinion meant to help and not to harm
The word imagery is very good


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160
160
Review of Shed No Tears  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

After reading this poem you gave me insight into the plight of almost all of the Indian Nation

Not only was this a incredibly well written poem but it was educational.

I never even new the names of the tribes Seminole, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Cherokee, Creek,

This poem made me reflect on how man is so vain, that he would destroy almost a whole

race of people for his personal advancement.

The only truth I know is from watching the movies and how they lived in harmony with

nature.

Reading this poem I felt such sorrow for destruction of these people being reduced down to living

on reservations and all their heritage taken away from them.

l loved the rhythmic flow the words and also the imagery.

I would consider this poem a work of word art.

I truly appreciated reading it for its educational aspect and beauty of the written word


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I
161
161
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

I found this to be a very interesting story line I particularly like the human element mixed with

the spirits of the forest.

I found this introduction to capture the readers interest right here

All around him were tiny flying insects, their wings reflecting a multitude of colors in the sunlight. He swatted a lazy hand, brushing the bugs away.

These lines are so full of word imagery that the story seems to take on a life of its own

You draw the reader into the character of Gen and his desire for power.

This is were i got lost a little bit
it can become confusing between Gen and the spirits and who is who

“I seek not to anger you Ancient, but rather to submit to you an ultimatum. I am but a messenger for the Tower of Light after all.” His confidence grew with the passing silence. “You will either submit or be squelched, Earth Spirit.”


On the whole I think the story is very well written, excellent word imagery and the story takes you on the beginning

of a journey.plunging you into suspense of what is going to happen next.

These are just my opinions to help and not to harm

Since you do write novels, would you review my first short story

  The Intervention  (13+)
"In a hostage crisis, an intervention occurs and Will's soul is saved from damnation"
#1812207 by Summer Wind is Healing
I certainly will value your opinion and your help

I still rated it 5 because of the excellence


of your writing skills with word imagery!



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162
162
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

As I read your poem it spoke to me about the truth of how people have become apathetic for life.

It made feel shame for some of my own thoughts of just turning my head the other way and

saying: " Oh some one else will care" or Oh some one else will give".

This poem speaks volumes of how the human condition has become desensitized today !

I felt a lot of conviction in your word imagery such as

“The world is already
overpopulated. What does
a few more poverty-stricken
children dying really matter?


This poem would be a great sermon to stir up people's consciousness that a sparrow does matter, in

fact all life matters especially to those who are loosing it!

This is just my opinion and my critique

I thought this poem moved me emotionally and made me feel the sorrow for the lack of caring most of us

are guilty of.



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163
163
Review of Empty Tracks  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

The poem paints a beautiful scenic landscape of a train that used to travel through valleys and

across the mountainside

As I read it I also felt your regret for the modern advancement of machines that replace the old fashioned

train that use to run the tracks.

I felt your emotional attachment with a great sadness in your reminiscing of your loss of who you affectionately

refer to as your lady love

.

Great word imagery I could almost envision the whistle blowing as I read your poem.

This is just my opinion and my critique and I loved the poem!

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164
164
Review of Heartbeat  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a lovely written poem about eternal love it makes the reader feel the warmth of your words.


Your city shines as bright as the sun,
pushing away all darkness and fear.
And now that our hearts beat as one,
I will no longer wander love's lost frontier.

You use your words like a paint brush painting vivid word colors in your prose

You also project your total commitment of love forever.

I feel I am viewing inside a very precious part of your thoughts and feelings

This is truly a beautiful love poem

Especially this part A moment in time when I fell in love with you

all within a single beat.

Well written
center}*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*{/center}
165
165
Review of The Abyss  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You really hooked the reader with your introduction it captured my attention completely as to what is going to

happen after this part of the story

The horror drove me to the edge of insanity. But, just as surely as death, the rocky edge crumbled, my fingers slipped and I fell headlong into screaming oblivion. I am going to die. I am really going to die. And, I am not going to heaven. I am not going anywhere. For, I will be dead

I have to say I was actually crying when I read about Zero being hit by a car and dying in such extreme
pain.

Your word imagery really had me envisioning the death and pain of that little sweet dog.

Also how you presented your turmoil and conflict with your belief in whether there is a God or not.

How you challenged the beliefs of your mother and the pastor.

The sad part is the end of the story which I did not like.where you ask the dog if you are in heaven and he

shakes his head no.

I t was such a shock and surprise no heaven just darkness and a abyss!
It left me personally the reader with no hope and emptiness.

This is of course is fantasy

This short story was very well written

I would appreciate if you would review my latest story Disillusionment at my port

I am trying to get as many people to reciprocate or pay it forward it helps everyone.

thanks again
166
166
Review of June 3--Waiting  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

I really enjoyed reading the body of your story.

I felt it kept the reader captivated wanting to know more about

this unmarried woman nearly 30 and her fantasies of leaving the

hum drum life with Bobby Joe for something more than the farm community.

Also shows her character of somewhat reluctant to staying to take care of her father

yet a watered down loyalty because she does.

The only thing that could be different is perhaps the opening sentence of the

introduction It does not seem to show the story, it tells it.


Dana was melting. Literally. Her heavy liquid makeup was beginning to run in rivulets down her face. The black fabric of her clothes beckoned to the Texas sun.

Perhaps something like this


Dana felt the hot Texas sun melting her her heavy makeup forming rivulets,running
down her face. She struggled pulling the black fabric of the weather beaten jacket tightly around her waist.
.

This is just my opinion meant to help and not to offend


I do not write short stories or novels and am not very good at grammar.

I know what I like when I read it and this has the makings of well written
story!

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167
167
Review of Dear Gretel  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

I really liked this letter the way it was written it makes you feel the

loneliness you can have for leaving your true place of origin you

call home Where your Mom and Dad your relatives are.

Moving to completely new place where you have to try to make new

friends and find new relatives you may have never seen before.
I particularly like this piece describing the new surroundings compared
to the old surroundings

You won’t believe how different this place is from our home! The buildings are so high to the sky and, every night, they baths with yellow streetlight. I can clearly see the blue sky up above, with a sea of stars that’s always so beautiful at twilight.

It made me homesick for Canada and my memories of home living in a small
town with a whole different life style

Well written you made me feel the loneliness as well as the excitement for
what lies ahead in this new home.


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168
168
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E
This poem reaches a place deep down inside my own life.

I can relate because I have a son who is borderline personality.

One day he loves us and we are dear to him and the next day

something sets him off to turn on us.

I could feel your pain through word imagery so painful but beautifully

written. This sentence particularly

Her words rained down on me like a hail storm

The first sentence

Her behavior toward me felt cold and distant

immediately catches the attention of the reader and it makes the reader

want to find out why her behavior was cold and distant.

I really liked reading this poem the words took on a life of their own.

Your poem projects a lot of deep emotional pain but also an unconditional

love for your daughter no matter what.

I especially liked the last sentence it ends the emotional storm in the poem.

On the whole I would say this is a well written poem from the heart.

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169
169
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a fabulous story very well written with lots description which holds the readers

attention. I found the words bounced along with no drag very descriptive .

You showed the story instead of telling the story. I felt like I was right there

in the story when Wily was put down and it actually brought me to tears.

There are a few places where you are missing a word
You have to go over the story with a fine tooth comb and make sure every thing makes sense
When I woke up the next morning, a light snow was dusting everything in fresh coat
of white. dusting everything (in a fresh coat of white)

do, but still, it took everything in me not to jump up and knock the deadly syringe out of hand, not to scream ‘horse killer’ in his face. He scratched Willy and sighed

(out of his his hand) On the whole this story has great word imagery and I enjoyed the ride reading it. A little humor

A possible title An Unexpected Friendship or an Unlikely Friendship


Please ignore my grammar that is not my strong suit.

But I know what I like when I read it and this has the potential to be great

writing and you have a natural gift.






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.
170
170
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

I love the story line and I thought you did a great job writing this fantasy..

The problem I noticed was that you told the story more than showed the story

Example She sighed as she entered her personal chambers closing the doors securely behind her. “I guess I have no choice but to wait for him to make his announcement tonight,” she thought. instead of something like this.

Her chest heaved a sigh of relief, as her trembling fingers, carefully closed the chamber door behind her. Her mind raced, back and forth as she anxiously reviewed her choices, She knew she had,to wait for him make his announcement tonight..

I am not a short story writer but I can read something and know what I like.
this story has the makings of a great fantasy with a little polishing up some
of the story.line.
This is just my opinion, only to help and not to harm.

To be honest I could never write a short story as well as this! .

Another tiny thing you might want to look at i

She promptly sat down, and became as quiet as a small slime hiding from a cat, but that didn’t stop her from planning. She knew she had only one option now, escape.

What is a small slime? as quiet as a small mouse hiding from a cat.

I hope this review has helped and I would appreciate if you would review

My Prose Save Me which is on the Reviewers Page where I found your
story,



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171
171
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

I found this story to be intriguing from the beginning to the end. and I

could not stop reading it. This story reads like a Greek mythology

of how we received our hurricanes, tornadoes and earthquakes.

I found the storyline to be a delightful fantasy with a touch of reality, relating

to relationships with children whether bad or good they have a

mind of their own, with consequences that follow!

I could not think of anything that I would want to change.

I really enjoy reading it.

Summary: Title was very appropriate

Storyline : Excellent imaginative word projection

Over All Excellent writing!



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172
172
Review of White Twilight  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Reading this poem I am having a hard time understanding were quitting

comes in. I find there are too many abstracts that do not connect or

tell the subject of the poem, to make some sense for example

Other time's it's just an overwhelming craving that you have to satisfy

Satisfy what? You do not relate what the craving is that has to be satisfied.

Weak and vulnerable, swept up in the pain to me is entirely different

subject! It leaves the reader in confusion. This is just my opinion

how I read it. Even if you use abstracts they have to make sense

What is it?.There is something missing which leaves the poem

unconnected. Your imagery is excellent! This review is meant

to help and not to injure, but remember it is just my opinion



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173
Review of Wind of Change  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

As I read your poem I felt a deep emotional projection of sadness,

fear and confusion. I felt the poem lost it's flow with this line

no longer sure where you are or where you're going ( too much word usage.)

no longer sure where you are going

Also the first line does not sound right

The wind of change blew you over , instead The wind of change blew over you

These are just suggestions meant to help and not to do harm!

On the whole the poem is very well written! To me it tells the story of

someone who has lost their way in life and is trying to pick up the

pieces and start all over again!
174
174
Review of The Sound  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Who needs to watch television when you can read a story like this.!

Your writing completely captured my attention and I felt like I was

right there with you. I really enjoyed the sitting on the edge of your

seat suspense that you created in your story telling

How being obsessed with one sound could drive you crazy and literally

destroy your life!

You had my mind racing and my heart beating waiting to see what

happens in the end of the story.

" Hummmm..." What's that sound?

You let the reader decide was he going to go all through it again or

did he learn his lesson!

I could find nothing I would change in this story.

Very entertaining and enjoyable read!

Excellent writing!!!!
175
175
Review of Weeping Willow  
Rated: E | (4.5)

This a nicely written story in six lines! Your word imagery of sorrow with the weeping willow

paints a picture of a tree weeping in the wind ! The only line that I would suggest you might

change is Its' whisper in the wind..

Since you have used Such sweet sorrow,

You could say It's cry in the wind. This is only a suggestion because with sorrow usually comes

crying. Good Job


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