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Public Reviews
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26
26
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Summerwind here, War Machine, I found your poem by random select and decided to review it. My reviews are not technical, just how it appeals to me from my perspective.

 the one thing that got away  (E)
the April fools prank that went wrong
#1984575 by Lula-Lady of the angels


My impression: What a delicious bit of wicked humor in your poetry and what a surprise for the reader. Very cleverly written and I liked the way you set the reader up thinking it was your sister that was going to get the fall.

What I liked: I liked everything, from the first line, til the last. I laughed as I read it and it made my day.

Favorite part: These lines are the clincher for me!

i thought it was my sister but it was not
It was my MOM and with a splash
and splosh she screamed in fright
that's how my April fools day went wrong all right

Suggestions: None, I wouldn't change it all!
.

Summary: A delightfully funny poem of April Fools Day with a surprise ending.
Cleverly written!

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This is just my opinion to encourage the writer and not to offend. Suggestions that are offered, are that just suggestions and nothing more. The writer may use or discard at their own discretion.


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27
27
Review of Sunbath  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hell Duane, Englelhardt, Summerwind here reviewing your short story. I review on originality and what I receive from your writing.

 Sunbath  (13+)
She claimed that she had seen fairies gathered around the pool in the early morning.
#1980249 by Duane Engelhardt


My first impression is in the second paragraph, this line doesn't make sense

A magazine came in and took photographs of a swim suit model bathing near the Fairy’s Grandfather.

Perhaps something like this
A magazine photographer, took pictures of a swim suit model bathing near the Fairy's Grandfather.

I think the story is a bit confusing especially the second paragraph, and runs around not connecting the reader to the story well enough to understand it. In my humble opinion it needs some work to join the ideas in a more concrete way.
Good idea, but unfortunately I got lost reading it.

Summary: A story with great potential, but needs work to connect the ideas to make more sense.

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28
28
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Emliya, Summerwind reviewing your poetry for the Shadow and Light Poetry Contest. I also entered and though I'd review some of the entrees.

 Nocturnal Promenade  (13+)
So this is a poem that was originally a sort of summary for a book, what do you think?
#1960517 by Emiliya Wolfe


My first impression of your poetry, is I like it. You keep the reader in the dark, as you weave your verses with more and more clues as to why you are wondering in the dark forest afraid of every little twig you step on that makes noise and causes you fear. This quite different, after reading it several times, I figured out it must be, you murdered someone, I just couldn't figure out if you were going to take your own life, or that when you die, you both end up into the abyss of Hell. The victim for being an unsavory character, and you for murdering the person.

Summary: Unique piece of poetry, written with a mystery
Kept my interest throughout the poem
Very well written!


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29
29
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Just Adam, I'm Summerwind and I've also entered the Shadows and Light Poetry Contest. I thought I would review some of the entries.


 Imagine (John Lennon was no influence)  (E)
A poem about, what if...
#1977852 by JustAdam40
My first impression of your first verse is, it needs more showing than telling in the verses, like the second verse. I think a very part of writing poetry, is visual imagery, which you need to use more of. Remember this is just my opinion. You have a good idea, it just needs some work on making it more visual.


Here is your verse:

Imagine if you were the sun
and you lit up way so high
I wonder if you'd shine on me,
and see me when I cry.

Here is my suggestion

Imagine if you were a fiery sun
Lighting up the blue streaked sky
I wonder if you'd shine down on me
See my tears fall when I cry

Summary:

Good Idea, but needs some work to show, instead of telling in poetry.
Just my opinion, but visual imagery, makes words come alive!


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30
30
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Summerwind here reviewing your short story by random pick. I review from my perspective what I receive from your writing.

 The Gift of Death **REVISED**  (13+)
An old man wishes to meet death, but regrets his decision soon after.
#1978727 by Treven Jamel



My first impression of your story is it is quite original and creative. To think death is afraid of someone
who is to eager to welcome him. Your portrayal of death's reactions was almost humorous. All the man
wanted to do was die, after his miserable life of cheating on his wife, and causing her a heart attack.
And even death rejected him and left him alone. One thing I noticed through your whole story is
the constant use of the word he. Perhaps you could give the man a name and make it more personal.


Example:

George Tanner was a grief stricken man.of 87. Each day life was becoming a vague dream and death a more vivid reality. Immortality is a dream for most people; for him, a nightmare. Everyday George wished that death would reach out his ice cold, bony fingers and pluck him from earth. Age was never the root of his depression; it was that he was totally alone. Emily his wife, was his only true love. Their marriage lasted 65 years until she passed away. But it was his fault. He had been cheating on her for 60 years with the same woman, and when Emily found out, she had a massive heart attack and died. Now Emily was dead and he was alone with old age well set in, wishing to meet death.

Something like that with a lot less of the pronoun he.

Summary: An original story, with some dark humor
Needs some rewriting getting rid of excessive pronouns.

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31
31
Review of I lost my love.  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Bees, Summerwind, here reviewing your poetry. I randomly picked this piece of writing.


 I lost my love.  (E)
slice-of-life
#1978539 by bees
First impression is it is written short and to the point. This line below, I think needs to be corrected.


because in the begin the possibilities are still endless. Shouldn't be beginning, instead of begin? Other than that the four lines said a lot in very few words. A little bit of a endless circle, so as to speak, but written with truth.


Summary: A poem, short to the point, with a lot to say in few words
Makes you think, about things when they end, something else is just beginning.
Creates hope in a heart that is feeling hopeless.
Nice short poem.

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32
32
Review of Mirage  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Aleyah, Summer Wind here, reviewing your short story. I review on how I perceive your writing from my perspective.

 Mirage  (E)
An afternoon walk in the sand.
#1917678 by Aelyah


My first impression is your title for your short story, I have no idea how a mirage relates to this story. Although the story was quite entertaining, I thought it was missing something perhaps more about his wife Ella, I think she was just plopped into the story with very little information about her or their relationship. I did enjoy the clever twist at the end of the story.

Summary: On the whole I thought the story to be quite entertaining, especially the clever twist at the end of the story! I would have like to learn more about Dan's wife and their relationship.

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33
33
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Corbin, Summer Wind here reviewing your poetry picked randomly. I review writing on what I perceive and feel from it.

 It's Time to Leave  (13+)
Convincing yourself, or maybe just telling yourself you're better without her
#1971724 by Corbin


The first impression of your poetry is the tone of anger that is projected through the whole poem. It certainly reads like a rant of someone who is very hurt and is declaring just how they feel. I get the anger and the hurt, but I don't see how your title It's Better to Leave the Phone Ring, has anything even remotely related to your poetry message. You never mention anything about a phone call, or someone calling. So I would try to think of a title that relates to your poetry.

Summary: Your poetry delivered an angry message of someone whose been hurt.
I find the title didn't relate to the poetry message and should be possibly be rewritten.
This is only my opinion on what I perceive from your writing.

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34
34
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Feather Duster, Summerwind here reviewing your poetry. I review on what I feel an perceive from your writing.

Ladies Day For Talking Blue Midnight  (13+)
When leap year gets here, have you got the change?
#1851529 by VictoriaMcCullough


First impression is what a beautifully profound written piece of poetry. I leaped into your imagery and drifted away for a moment captivated by your word pictures. My favorite lines are these: I feel this poetry flows right off the page. I really enjoyed reading it, and look forward to more of your writings.

hidden deep in catacombs
of each other
waiting for the
breakneck speed of
a black, satin stallion
to gallop into an
easy dawn and eternal

Summary: Beautiful profound piece of written poetry
I was captivated and drifted away in the words
I loved it. Thank you for sharing it.

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35
35
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Shaara,Nano Winner, Summerwind, here reviewing your story. I review similar to a motion picture review.


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#855698 by Not Available.


My first impression is your first paragraph grabbed my attention and I was caught, you pulled me into your story. You had excellent interaction with your main character's dialogue and the others in your story. Excellent showing in most of your story, with great visual imagery I especially liked this descriptive paragraph:

Meanwhile, Cinnamon was getting angrier and angrier about not having her breakfast. Her ears were laid so far back, they looked like they were part of her mane. Her teeth flashed, big and yellow. There was going to be another accident soon if I didn’t get her back to her stall.

I was glued to the story until I got lost in the beheading of the horse. I couldn't figure out what caused the horse to lose it's head. At first I thought Cinnamon ate his head, but I couldn't find the answer. So it left me somewhat confused, with no conclusion to the story.

Summary: A very well written imaginative story
Lots of imagery and interaction between the characters.
But I got lost in the ending of the story

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36
36
Review of Lost  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Dawn Novels, Summerwind here, reviewing your freestyle poetry. I review on the imagery and creativity of the poem from my perspective.

Lost  (E)
words discussed
#987102 by Dawn Embers

My first impression is wow, quite a thought provoking piece of poetry. You've said and revealed a lot of your feelings about the plight of all of us To me it almost sounds like what happens when you die and your buried sooner or later your forgotten. That's what I perceive from the last verse. The poem has a tone of melancholy, which makes you confront the truth about life and how many live and die forsaken.

Summary: A melancholy realistic freestyle poem that reaches in and grabs your heart!
A wake up call for all of us of the brevity of life and being forgotten
A well short poem that says a lot!

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37
37
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ProsperousSnow Summerwind here reviewing your poetry. I review from the perspective how I perceive your work emotionally and the imagery.

 Barbie’s Military Affair  (18+)
The true-self of a cultural icon.
#1015192 by Prosperous Snow celebrating


The first impression is how you've written something about Barbie who is a well known doll in the toy industry and created a story with a twist about her life with Ken, and Gi Joe. I think the poem is very creative, and imaginative. I'm not sure about your rhyme scheme, the first 5 verses have 3 lines and the last one has 4 which doesn't make for a good meter or balanced rhythm in your poetry. Overall the poem has some good imagery.

Summary: I think the poem is definitely an original piece of work
Has some good imagery, but fails in the rhyme scheme and flow of the words
I enjoyed reading anyways it had a cute twist.

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38
38
Review of Beach  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Turtle my name is Summerwind, and I'm reviewing your poetry as a random pick, I will give you my impression of how I perceive your work.

 Beach  (E)
A series of Small Stones
#1875955 by Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h


My first impression is the uniqueness of your wording. You present a glimpse of a Jelly fish tumbling in an ocean, as the swimmers pass by, then the action of touch. But what makes this so different is you simplify it with the word connection.You continue to do that through the whole poem. You make the reader connect the dots, instead of laying it for them with a straight forward method. You've created an abstract of words forming a very interesting deliverance to the reader.

Summary: A very uniquely written short poem saying a lot in few words.
Well written in my humble opinion
You made me think and connect the dots which I appreciated.

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39
39
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
typing rhyme, Summerwind here reviewing your poetry to thank you for reviewing mine.

DEAR LORD PLEASE GUIDE ME TODAY  (E)
A prayer poem for facing the world
#1843840 by typingrhyme


An absolutely beautiful, inspirationally written piece of poetry. Actually, to me it's a daily prayer. The message is clear for how we should live every day. Putting our trust and guidance in the Lord's hands. How we should treat other people and be an image of our Heavenly Father. Also be forgiving of others who offend us. My favorite verse is this one:


And when my long day is through
Lord may I still think of You.
Please give me peace and rest
Help me believe that You know best.

Summary: I felt the words minister to my spirit, as I read them.
The words flow effortlessly off the page into my mind and heart!

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40
40
Review of Slowly  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Christina, was away again for awhile, came back and saw this poem, thought I would give a peek and review it.

 Slowly  (E)
Unrelentingly empty-hearted
#1880090 by ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams


Christina, I think your poetry describes the phases of life, we all go through as human beings. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by events we have no control over. Other times we put trust in people we shouldn't and suffer the consequences. Broken heart, lost friendship, estranged family member, whatever. It puts everything in proper perspective, like a movie of the days of our lives.

Summary: Sad but beautiful reality poem
Nicely written!


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41
41
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Sara, Summer Wind here, reviewing your entry for the Country Lyrics Contest.


 The Little Church Down the Road  (13+)
Entry for Country Music Lovers Forum lyric contest from prompt. Sing along~
#1941356 by Sara


Sara, I think you have a good idea with your lyrics, but you need to work on your verses. Example: This just my opinion, your verse doesn't flow very well it's jerky.

Yours

I sure loved you, but you loved him.
I can’t forget. We went for a swim.
Skinny dipping in thin moonlight,
He came, too, you said he might.

Mine

I loved you, but you loved him
I can't forget the night we went for a swim
Skinny dipping in the pale moonlight
He came along with you, that night

Summary: Good idea
Needs some work in form of verses

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42
42
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow, Summer Wind here reviewing your song.

 Tryin' One More Time  (13+)
I'm drivin' down this old road again
#1941837 by Prosperous Snow celebrating


The song over all is pretty good, the first verse, I 'm going is used too much. Suggestion: This just my opinion.

I'm drivin' down this old road again,
Goin' back to where our love begin,
Your goin' to get one more chance,
If you fail this is our final dance.

Other than that nice write!

Summary: First verse too repetitive with the I'm,
Pretty good lyrics

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43
43
Review of Dangerous Waters  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hunter Moon, Hi this is Summer Wind, reviewing your lyrics for the Country Lyrics Contest.

STATIC
Dangerous Waters  (E)
An entry for Country Music Lovers Contest
#1941926 by 🌕 HuntersMoon


I liked the phrasing in your lyrics, also the emotion you stir up with your words. You paint a vivid picture of someone who desperately is involved in a trapped relationship of co-dependency. I like your metaphoric language used in the song. My favorite verse is:

Like a ship at the mercy of a wind-blown sea
I lose all control when it’s just you and me.
If I had the strength you know I would flee
away from these dangerous waters.

Summary: Excellent rhyme scheme, poetic song


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44
44
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi BScholl, Summer Wind her looking over your portfolio, I thought I would review this one, since it looked like it had no reviews. My reviews are not technical, just what I liked or not.

 Old South Fork Dam  (E)
2,200 people lost in the worst dam break in U.S. history.
#1699558 by BScholl
First thing I want to say, is your poem educated me. I knew nothing about the Johnstown, dam catastrophe. I guess it's because it happened in 1889. Any how I want to comment on your unique poem.
I loved the introduction, I felt like I could feel the pressure building up and then releasing the way you described it. Also your rhyme scheme was spot on. Nice choice of words for imagery. Such as this verse:

Concrete breaking, the rush begins.
Wall of water crashes through inns.
Houses tumble like bowling pins.( Love this line)
Woe -- no one wins. Woe -- no one wins.

Over all very well written!

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45
45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Christina it's been a while since I've done any reviews. I saw this piece of your work and thought I would comment on it. Summer Wind here.

Visions and Illusions  (E)
Can the sun erase the rainbow's colors?
#1888036 by ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams
The first impression is how you give the reader an inside look at how you feel about life.

This ending verse is outstanding!


I am too wise to dream of changes - up on a pink cloud
I am too wise to seek the past through cracked windows
I must talk to myself softly; yet still dream, seek, be proud
But bow, bend and twist in acceptance - like weeping willows.


Through out the whole poem you display exceptional word imagery, waves dance over the sea, sun drown in

the horizon. Also, a splash of color here and there in your poetry, which adds to the beauty of it. But what I think

is more impressive of all, is your word phrasing. You words weave through the poem like someone creating a

lovely tapestry.

Summary: Lovely imagery through out the poem
Personal feelings projected about life
Excellent word phrasing.


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46
46
Review of Prayer  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Marcus, Summer Wind here commenting on your lyrics, I thought I would share my opinion with you.

 Prayer  (13+)
Last song was horrible. I'm getting better and this is my latest work. Feedback please
#1920330 by Marcus Ballenger
I think you have good ideas, but your rhyme scheme is out, I tried to formulate a rhyme, but it was difficult to do. Here is one of my lyrics, you can look at.

"Invalid Item"  Notice the rhyme, it flows very well, its almost a rap. You should hear the beat when you read it.


This is my lyrics rewritten to show you more impact by less words and better rhyme wit your first verse. I hope I've given you some ideas to help you. You can keep or sweep, this only my opinion.


I prayed to god give me the power
To have my voice rise like a tower
Stretch it to it's endurance length
Not for fame or money in the bank
I'll perfect every inch of my song
Try reflect I feel lost and wrong
As I discover my talent and detect
My thoughts were gone
Realized I was meant to be a leader
Guide others that are dreamers
Overcome challenges as a believer
Fight through it with a fever


This your Lyrics
I prayed to god give me the power and every bit of strength
Make my voice go big and tower rise up through every rank
This fame this reputation is ours I'll stretch through every length
It's not about the cash or check nothing to do with the bank
I'll sit here hours trying to perfect every inch of my song
Studying other artists to try an reflect I feel lost and wrong
As I discover my talent and detect
My thoughts were gone
I realized I was made to be a leader
Guide fellow dreamers beyond
Any thought, rise above any dream beater
Overcome any extreme challenge
Fight through it with a meat cleaver


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47
47
Review of I'm Fine  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ronni, Summerwind here reviewing your work, to thank you for reviewing mine.

 I'm Fine  (E)
Society's word for feelings is "fine." Nobody ever wants a truthful answer.
#1922668 by Ronni Love
I think that what you have written is so true. Especially walking on the street, It's so hard to acknowledge

another person and speak to them. Hello, how are you today? How are you feeling? Without thinking that you might be

overloaded with a whole boat load of questions that you can't answer or get out of.. It makes me realize how sheltered we

have become with our emotions and our lives. Favorite line: I’m sitting here. I’m trying to get your attention. But you don’t see me. You don’t want to see me.

Summary: This struck me as a reallity check for all of us. Where are our emotions? Why we hide our feelings.


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48
48
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kristina, Summer Wind here, reviewing your cute poem, to thank you for reviewing my poem Lover's Across the Sands.
I review on what I perceive from your poem, not technical but emotional value.

 When Love Touches The Heart  (E)
Staring a little terrier-mix - Support your local SPCA
#1912169 by Chrys O'Shea
Kristina what a beautiful poem showing your feelings of your sadness of being alone. And how you found and abandoned animal to fill the hole of love in your heart, as well as you filling the need in him being tossed aside. I like the word imagery you used. Scruffy, scrounge, big brown eyes, all added to the ability of being able to visualize the animal that you wrote about. These are my favorite lines:

t was then… then I knew
Love had touched my heart.
It was there at the SPCA
I found my P.J.

Summary: I felt I could identify with the author, because I feed two or more abandoned cats in my neighborhood. One of them will not come near me. I have to leave the food and walk away, before the cat will approach. So, I know what the author is talking about when she says abandoned. I loved the end of the poem when the animal was given a home.

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49
49
Review of Understand?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dolfo, Summer Wind here, reviewing your work to thank you for reviewing mine. My reviews are not technical, but more like a movie review.

 Understand?  (E)
Poem I just now wrote to try and introduce myself. Hope you like. New guy here.
#1919470 by dolfo
I just read Understand and Dolfo that has to be one of the most Holy Spirit inspired pieces of poetry that

I have ever read. Forget all the sophisticated flowery poetry. Your's comes straight from the soul and heart. You tell how

it is. What happens if you're lured into the Devil's playground. I found your poetry to be raw and real. Also a tremendous

witness for those who have ears to ear. In fact I could envision this poem as a Christian song. I can't say enough good

things about the poem. As soon as I started to read it I was under conviction. I'm a carnal Christian, because I have not

been faithful to God. I'm 66 years old, and led a life of hell, with suffering. So, bravo for you turning your life around. You

encouraged me today. I don't think you read my poem by accident. Nothing is accidental with God. See, if you can find a

way to submit this poem for publication. In my opinion it is fabulous, because it's from a personal experience.


Summary: I loved, loved this poem, it speaks volumes, to those who will listen. I t can stop someone from going through all the hell you went through. Thanks for your inspiring poem, if I could give it a 10 I would. Forget the form, it's the message.



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50
50
Review of The Beach  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sharon, Summer Wind here, returning a review to thank you for reviewing my story the Wolf and the Cross.

 The Beach  (E)
Carey deals with her loss
#1859867 by SharonConnell
Sharon you are a master at building up a plot of suspense in your stories. You introduce the reader to

Carey, who is sitting in the sand along the shore of a beach, crying in misery. For the next few paragraphs you focus on

the emotional aspect of Carey, describing your tears, the condition of her clothing and the weather. You give no

explanation as to why she is in the state that she is in. You egg the reader to continue reading why she is in this

hopeless desperate way. Then, you use a seagull to awaken her from her misery, as she watches how he pays no

attention to another seagall that lies dead on the shore, but ignores him and continues to search for food. Carey realizes

that she must snap out of her grief and return home to resume the business of living and taking care of children.

The only thing I would change is you have repeated this sentence twice in your story. The rain had started to soak

through her clothes and she began to shiver. Already it was beginning to soak through her clothes and occasionally

Carey would shiver. That seems repetitious, other than that, a very well written story.


Summary: The author has written a story about the business of living and not focusing on grief when you can't afford to do so. In Carey's case, she had children depending on her, and she had to snap out of her misery. I like this story, the author delivered a story without going into a long explanation on why Carey was miserable, she focused on using the sea gall to show Carey on how to just get on with life.

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