%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  A third blog? A good idea? A fresh start? A disaster? An omen? ...who knows anything? |
I nearly gave up on blogging and WDC. Then life threw another huge curveball and I felt like giving up on everything. But I'm Scarlett...I keep trying and hoping. I know not where this will go but I take it one day at a time.   |
| She's gone as I predicted. I can't say I'm sorry, but what sort of woman goes off to Cambodia leaving three small children and all the problems she's caused behind her? No doubt she'll spend three weeks sitting on the beach sipping cocktails and not give a thought to the mess she's left behind. Part of me hopes she won't return, but there are the children to consider and she is their mother after a fashion. My son has returned home after a court application and is now free of any charges against him thank goodness. Again I ask what sort of woman accuses her husband of all manner of horrible things, spends weeks sending foul and abusive text messages then starts sending him food via the children? Crazy or what? The children will hopefully spend three settled and more peaceful weeks with their Dad in their own home and he will be able to focus on his work and their activities without any hassle from her. But I have to question his emotional state too. After being subjected to weeks of hell caused by her and enduring abuse with no substance how can he accept her food or contemplate picking her up from the airport when she returns? Theirs is the strangest and most volatile relationship I've ever encountered. Maybe I'm an intolerant and unforgiving person, but I cannot forgive her for all the lies, problems and anxiety she has caused. My son is not blameless I admit, but he is basically a decent person, whereas she has confirmed she is a deeply unstable, vicious, selfish, vindictive bitch and that's putting it mildly. I know I can no longer have her in my home or return to lending her money, tolerating her mood swings and preferably never want to see her again. But I have a feeling my son will relent and go back to her and a very tough life. His choice I know and not my place to interfere. I understand he does not want the children to be upset or become involved in custody battles. I appreciate how difficult and heartbreaking it would be to walk away, start over and not be with the children he adores at all times, but my heart bleeds to think he would tolerate the way she treats him and the risk of another episode like this one, which I'm pretty sure would happen in time. I know the complexities of a difficult marriage from experience and I also know how hard it is to walk away. Part of me is saddened as there have been good family times in the past and I felt I had some sort of relationship with Mey Ling. But the abuse she has poured on me for no reason whatsoever is totally unacceptable and I cannot forgive or forget it. I would not have addressed my worst enemy with the words she's sent to me, never mind a mother in law who has tried over and over again to be kind, helpful and tolerant. Having said that, she is the mother of my grandchildren and if Paul goes back to her then I will find myself in a very difficult position. Apologies for the harsh words, but people who fully understand the atrocious ordeal we've gone through these last couple of months know I am not being unreasonable. Only time will tell as regards the future and one day at a time still applies, but I have a feeling this whole saga cannot and will not result in a solution that doesn't cause a lot more angst and heartache. |
Hope and prayers are about all we have left, but they are strong weapons in the face of adversity. It was two years yesterday since my husband died and my son's eleventh wedding anniversary today. This year we could not have foreseen the events dominating our lives during this painful weekend. Both my son and myself have gone down with one of the worst bugs in years, but there is little chance to rest. Dennis has been quite poorly this weekend too so another visit to the vets will be necessary tomorrow. Mey Ling is proving to be very difficult and vicious regarding access to the children and the problems she has created. We have a collection of foul, abusive texts she has sent and evidence of continuous lies. My son will see his solicitor tomorrow, but what happens after that is yet to unfold. The welfare of the children comes first and social services are involved. Before all this kicked off Mey Ling had already planned a visit to Cambodia on her own on January 20th for three weeks. My son had paid for her flights. One day she claims she's still going, the next she's not, but I'm pretty certain she'll go as she's totally selfish and her concern for the children isn't as sincere as it should be. It would be better for us all if my son could return to the family home while she is away to bring some stability and security to the lives of the children. Only time will tell. Predicting the future is impossible and worrying about it a waste, yet it is difficult to stop the mind from wandering. I started this new blog with the motto 'one day at a time sweet Jesus,' and now more than ever need to try and do just that. |
 Youngest grandson coughed, spluttered and threw up before, during and after Humbug. Eldest grandson suffered heavy nosebleeds leading to frequent bathroom cleaning. One sick cat leading to a vet's visit two days before Humbug and a lot of little loose messages around the house. The cracked, unstable step at the front finally collapsed and is now even more potentially dangerous. Broke and busted after Humbug, vet's fees and utility bills so no chance to resolve the step issue at present. Son developed a cyst necessitating a visit to a medical drop in centre for anti biotics. Abusive and nonsensical text messages sent to son and Angel from the crazy Cambodian at all hours of the day and night. Five nights sleeping on the sofa. Tired just doesn't cut it. Shopping, wrapping, cooking, pot washing and clearing up performed by Nanna. Friends falling ill so several social occasions cancelled or altered. Washing machine about to suffer a nervous breakdown with laundry overload. Finally caught the bug myself. Oh Joy. No resolutions, no happy new year wishes. A case of survival and not daring to think what lies ahead. Best Wishes to you all, but right now I'd willingly hibernate until all this is over, if it ever is. I will however drink to everyone's good health...rinse and repeat ad infinitum.     |
Things have escalated and deteriorated with my son's situation and at present the children are staying with us at my house. It's hardly ideal or easy, but there is no other option at the moment. One thing I'm pretty certain of is Mey Ling will not be a part of our family any longer apart from contact with the children. It's very complicated, but if I ever get a chance to write that book it would be a very dramatic true story. Maybe people wouldn't believe it; even I find it unbelievable at times. We can only take one day at a time right now and concentrate on giving the children a decent Christmas of some sort. I promise I won't inflict my Humbuggery on the little ones. Hoping you all have a good time and survive the season of goodwill. If only that description was correct. |
| There are major problems with my son and wife at the moment which are likely to go on for a long time before any decisions can be made. My son is staying with me and the grand monsters stay with us at the weekends. It's all very tragic and upsetting, but the children's welfare is top priority. It's also very stressful and tiring, particularly at this time of year. I cannot at present go into details, but it's a very serious matter and I cannot see how they can stay in a relationship. Only time will tell. Apologies for the short entry and not checking out blogs, but it's just not possible right now. |
| When I moved house I had to register with a new Veterinary Practice and have planned on taking Dennis for a check up. It’s something I kept putting off for various reasons, mainly because I’m a coward. However, a few weeks ago I received a card in the post asking me to make an appointment for his annual vaccination so had to bite the bullet. It seemed quite a daunting prospect. First of all what time to make an appointment with a cat who doesn’t acknowledge time, own a watch or follow orders? He has some routines, but I never know whether he’s going to spend the night indoors or out. If I made an appointment first thing in the morning he may not appear if he’d been out and if he’d been in the first thing he’d want to do is go out. In the end I decided an afternoon appointment would be best for both of us as I’m not a morning person anyway. The next problem was to make sure Dennis was actually in at least half an hour before the appointment. As he tends to use the house rather like a feline hotel he usually pops in for a meal, a quick stroke, then off he goes again. I decided the only thing I could do was to make sure that once he was in the house I’d then go out myself until the allotted appointment so that he couldn’t escape or stand pathetically meowing at the door. Of course on the day he decided to come home at ten in the morning which meant I had to shoot out leaving him indoors and spend the next four hours roaming around town. The next stage was to get him into his carrier. Not having used it since he was a small kitten I wasn’t even sure if he’d fit in it as he’s grown into quite a large cat. I approached with caution in a sweat, wondering if I’d be able to cram him in first time or if I’d have to fold him up in order to actually get him in it. Thankfully I managed on the first attempt and swiftly fastened it up. Apart from a bit of scratching there was little protest thank goodness. I then waited for the taxi to pull up. Thankfully it arrived on time and Dennis behaved himself during the short journey to the vets. Of course I was early so sat in the waiting room with my heavy cat carrier wondering what lay ahead. The vet was a very kind gentleman and gently removed Dennis from his carrier with no problems. With the help of an assistant he managed to vaccinate, flea and worm Dennis who didn’t make a murmur or attempt any scratching or biting during the whole process. The vet informed me he’s a lovely cat and that I could bring him as often as I wanted to. Despite the compliment I hope that won’t be something I have to do. All that was left now was to get in the taxi home and release the cat back into his home. It was a great relief the ordeal was over and Dennis was able to return to his activities showing no signs of distress. Later in the evening I opened a bottle of wine and allowed Dennis the choice of what to watch on television as a reward.  |
Another long gap between posts and nothing major to report. Life as usual is full of ups and downs, but I conclude that’s the way it is for most of us. You know I’m not one to complain,  but it seems if it can go wrong it will, though I am still trying to be grateful. I have discovered my brand new fitted microwave in my brand new fitted kitchen doesn’t work. After checking it had been installed correctly I contacted the makers who sent out an engineer. After dismantling it all and fitting a new motor it still wouldn’t work so he left with the promise of returning with a different spare part. After two weeks of hearing nothing I phoned again only to be told they could not locate the part, so I would have to get in touch with the suppliers to exchange the microwave for a new one. The problem is now I cannot contact the suppliers because they are updating their phone system and not able to receive calls. Oh well, I’ve never been a big fan of microwaves anyway. After having a significant amount of work done on the house and now being responsible for all bills, my finances are tight to say the least. I rely on pension payments and was quite concerned when the largest one didn’t appear in my account on time. After contacting the Teacher’s Pensions department I was horrified to discover they had suspended the pension without any warning. The reason given was they had not been able to contact me. Seems they were sending snail mail to my old address and admitted it’s all their fault. However they cannot reinstate the pension for ten days for some inexplicable reason so I could find myself out on the streets in a cardboard box if my bills are not paid. Oh well, it’s only money and maybe I’ll win the lottery this week. Pink pigs just flown over again. My sister stayed with me for a few days which made a pleasant change. After a late night and waking with delicate heads we decided to tackle moving my bedroom furniture round which was probably not a sensible choice. We ended up in a lather with aching muscles, but think we managed to make the room more practical. I had only bought one new thing for the room; a beautiful glass vase in glorious colours. Sadly the only thing we managed to smash during our furniture shifting session was the vase. Some of the other things I’d have been glad to be rid of. Oh well, it didn’t cost a fortune and I may find a better one in the future. Son and family returned safely from Turkey and stayed over last weekend. I thought I’d missed them, but the chaos and manic activity came as a shock to the system after four weeks. Sadly my son has been diagnosed with diabetes which is upsetting and worrying, but hopefully medication and a better diet will help improve his health. Oh well, at least it’s treatable and It could be a lot worse. And of course it’s my favourite time of year again. Hopefully the horrors of Halloween and Fireworks is now behind us, but the Humbug nightmare is well established. Should I not survive the teeth gritting music, the idiotic tv adverts, the manic crowds and queues in shops, the television repeats and the hysteria of children and those revelling in joyous spirit I’ll let you know. Oh well, it will come and it will go and I just hope to survive to see the return of spring and summer. |
We’ve all tried tried them haven’t we? Those Facebook quizzes informing us what sort of people we are and what characteristics we have; good and bad. Of course we all know they’re random, but often we like to think the adjectives used are appropriate, particularly the good ones. Lately I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the problems that seem to come my way far too often and wondering if it’s just chance or something in my character. I’ve started to question why I seem to attract conflict and aggressive, volatile people. So my question is do we really know who we are? Can we really describe ourselves accurately? Do we have a different perception of ourselves to how other people see us? I don’t think I know who I am or what I’m like in the eyes of others. I try to be considerate, compassionate, understanding and always attempt to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before judging. I believe I’m too soft, generous, oversensitive and prone to negativity. I’m pretty sure I’m not racist, sexist, narrow minded or opinionated to the point where it would alienate other people. I believe I'm pretty sociable and try to get on with people avoiding animosity at all costs. On the downside I know I can be impatient, stubborn, cynical and too much of a perfectionist. But then in every direction I look there are relationship problems. My stepdaughter and her family and my brother-in-law have chosen to cut me off completely. That would not have been my choice, but I feel there is little I can do about it. My daughter-in-law swings from love to hate and it’s very difficult to maintain a balanced relationship with her. My son stays with her for the sake of the children and in the knowledge that splitting up would create an extremely difficult situation. This week I have experienced more aggression and upset because someone I know cannot understand why I cannot just drop everything and alter my plans to fit in with their expectations. This has caused a rift and I know yet again I am being judged as the one at fault. My problem is whatever happens I am always left feeling guilty and questioning what I could have done to avoid these situations. It seems some people are predisposed to create and even enjoy conflict. But then I question if there is something in my nature that attracts it when consciously it is the last thing I want. Deep down is it me who has a problem? I made a decision a while ago regarding other people. Since moving house I have made every effort to keep in touch with friends near and far and to meet people no matter how much travelling it has involved. Now I leave the ball in their court. I have done my bit and I’ve tried my best to maintain relationships and peace. The rest I leave to fate. The only people I want and need in my life are those who are honest, gentle, understanding and don’t play mind games. I am lucky because I know quite a few people who fit into this category already. The rest have something to prove because I”m not responsible for their problems and I’m no longer prepared to be the brunt of their frustrations. Whether we are born with certain character traits or acquire them is an old and complicated debate. We’re all wired up differently for whatever reasons, but that shouldn’t cause disputes or make us not care about others. Sometimes it’s better to trust ourselves rather than the opinions of others. I also question why I spend so much time analysing instead of focusing on simpler matters like the price of carrots. |
Summing up the last twenty-two blogless days. I actually attended a wedding which makes a change from funerals these days. The groom was my son’s best friend and my son the best man. It was a pleasant day and everything went well on the whole. However, I had remarked previously to somebody there's always a bust up at a wedding, but little did I realise it would involve my family.  It's a long story. I really enjoyed the week I spent with my sister in the Isle of Wight. It has been a favourite holiday haunt of my family for many, many years. Holding mostly happy memories it was a bittersweet experience, but lovely to spend time with my precious sister including lots of unique experiences and laughter. It’s the first holiday I've had in over two years and likely to be the last for a long time. I found a local cat sitter called Holly to look after Dennis while I was away as I didn’t want to put him in a cattery. I don't think he was quite as pampered as he normally is, but he survived. He's been in a funny mood since my return and I think he's missing his little friend Noel from over the road who moved away recently. They played together like toddlers. The new writing group I joined seems to be undergoing some changes and becoming more organised and forward thinking. I somehow find myself on the committee now so hopefully there will be some entertaining and inspiring sessions ahead. Maybe I’ll even get round to writing something. I still can't say I'm over enthusiastic about the knitters and natters group here, but have returned to the one in my old hometown a few times The trouble at the wedding I mentioned started with Mey Ling and has snowballed into some quite serious problems for the family. Ultimately it is their job to sort things out and I can only stand by and help where I can. No one knows what the future holds, but my son and the children are my top priority. They will be on holiday in Turkey for the next couple of weeks so hopefully things may be more settled when they return, but I won't hold my breathAnd that just about sums it up. Days, weeks and months come and go and it's still a case of one day at a time sweet Jesus. There are good ones and bad ones, but never enough time. Maybe after another twenty-two days there'll be something exciting to report like a lottery win. Better go and watch that herd of pink pigs fly over. |
| My house has two quite hazardous steps into the front yard and will in time need replacing. By the side of the steps is a small gravelled area between a wall and the side of the house. When I first moved in there was a large, unidentifiable plant in this spot but as it was neither attractive or practical I decided to have it removed even though I don't like destroying things. My son brought his shears and spent s therapeutic afternoon lopping off branches and digging up the remaining root which has actually been recycled into a modern day abstract garden statue. However he couldn't take the debris away as it was a Sunday and the local tip was closed. The next time my sister visited she very kindly offered to bag up all the branches and remains ready to dispose of at a later date. As I was making lunch for us in the kitchen I heard her squeal then laugh so went outside to investigate. Seems the biggest toad you've ever seen had decided to take residence underneath the rubble. It didn't move or make any sound but it was obviously alive if not kicking so we gently placed one of the sacks on top of it. Over the next few weeks I gradually got rid of the unwanted sacks of rubbish, but every time I looked toady was still underneath the one we'd covered him with. Eventually he disappeared so assuming he'd found s new residence I got rid of the last sack and raked over the now empty patch making it even and ready for weedkiller and gravel before planting new climbers. The following week after hauling one of my dustbins up the steps ready for emptying I looked down and there was toady who had obviously taken up new residence under the bins. The following day he'd disappeared again. I've been waiting for a dry day to spray the area with weedkiller as there's some unwanted ivy taken root and yesterday I thought I'd hit lucky. However I noticed a rather large, gravel covered lump has appeared in the newly raked patch and looking at its dimensions it is certainly toady sized. I'm not an expert on reptiles, but I believe toads hibernate and I have a feeling said lump may contain a sleeping toad. I daren't prod or poke it for fear of discovering something I don't like or disturbing toady and no one else is willing to take on the task. Neither dare I spray the weedkiller as I'd hate to be responsible for a poisoned toad, if indeed he is under there. Seems there's nothing for it but to leave any plans for next spring when hopefully toady will have awoken and moved on and I can get on with my spraying and planting. Of course, with my favourite time of year approaching I too feel tempted to hibernate, but not under gravel with a big fat toad for company. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
) I try to dress according to the color of the day. Thursday is orange. Once I dress accordingly I only need to look at what I'm wearing to be reminded. 
If I put on the wrong color though...
