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 |  Sometimes it is Dark before the Dawn |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** No one should Laugh at Life! That's Life's Job - Laughing at us. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** According to Chinese Horoscopes it is the YEAR OF THE TIGER! G-R-R-R Here's a writer that will make you laugh! I swear she is Erma Brombeck reincarnated! Take a look!
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| ...who have managed to survive the Season. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I give you this poem, with proper acknowledgements of course, to cheer you on your day! A Christmas Tale At this time of year it is patently clear That the males are the ones who are blest. Thoughts like "goodwill to men" we hear time and again And we find them quite hard to digest. As we women all know, men think they run the show, And sometimes we allow them this pause. But it gets on our nerves, like too many hors d'oeuvres When we want to get at the main course. Many times out of mind the same problem we find, Leaving plans to the menfolk is risky. Christmas spirit they think is some kind of a drink, Such as vodka, Baccardi, or whiskey. Since we carry the load, men keep out of our road, We are ready and willing and able. For it's perfectly clear, that the stuffed turkeys here Are not always confined to the table. The traditional way is now rather passe, Lets give credit, where credit is due. Then you'll see, man or boy, in return you'll enjoy The fruits of OUR goodwill to you. By Jacqueline Ramm   I thought it was funny at least!  |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Tis the Season to be noiseful...fa la la la la...la la la la! Come we now to calories untold fa la la la...la la la la Yes it is the season of fatness. There are more than sugar plums and hogshead cheese to choose from. Granny makes those Fudge Pecan Chewies and Auntie May presents tins of Chocolate Dipped Apricot Crescents. Even PawPaw takes part with Rum Balls (although we all know where most of the Rum went to don't we?). What little wonder that after the first of the New Year everyone is letting out their pants, loosening their belts and avoiding the scales. Since we all are aware that the burning up of calories is directly proportional to the contraction and relaxation of the muscles and active use of muscular system, let us investigate different ways to burn calories during the Holiday Fatness Season! Reclining the Lazy Boy Chair 5 calories per pull Pushing the recliner to a upright position 10 calories per situp Clicking buttons on the television remote control 1/2 calories per button pushed Locating the remote control 14 calories per room Burping after consumption of Holiday Food depending on strength of burp from 5 to 30 calories per So we can and should do all we might to take off some of the fat put on during the holiday feastings. I am still researching calories that can be burned by opening the refrigerator seeking more to eat; calories burned by bending down to take out a container as well as calories lost by eating excellant chocolate.  If you know more methods you have found helpful please feel free to add them. Typing burns 6 calories per 55 WPM.  |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So I have a houseguest this weekend. I have been watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes over and over and over again. I also had a severe dose of Agent OSO. *sigh* When we weren't singing for our Magic Tootles, we were pretending to ice skate and build snowmen in the living room. My puppies are quite stunned by all this. Out of sheer desperation, hoping to avoid a temper tantrum, I suggested we make up a story about a pig. First things first however and a name was required. "What shall we name the pig?" "Lell-La!" "You mean Ella?" "Nope! Lell-La!" So we now have a pig named Lell-La. Three year olds are stubborn. As for the story, well you all will have to wait. It seems we need to go color as I am not as good as she feels I need to be. Oh, my Spidie Girl - YOU MAKE ME NUTS! |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If there is anyone out there who has not yet read alfred booth, wanbli ska  blog entries "Invalid Item"  with his newest holiday buzz, go do it now! The man is unique. However, let me firmly state here and now, that some traditions just need to be broken, shattered, torn up and scattered. How many times does the television play It's a Wonderful Life? Repeating shows, songs, decorations are fine but after 4,522.83 times in one day I say we scream "ENOUGH!"To that end I encourage Mssr. alfred booth, wanbli ska to gather his style together and break any other tradition. I will assist him part way down that road by rearranging lyrics to a song you all know "Let It Snow!"Let me see if I can start off with the first stanza and allow the rest of you to finish the song for me!  Oh the internet sites are frightful But the sales are so delightful And since it's always quid pro quo, Let it bow! Let it bow! Let it bow! I truly got stuck on the next stanza however! I was attempting to change 'popping' with 'copping' but it was far too silly and awkward. I wanted to add my thanks to Just call me Omni for the merit badge she gave me today. It was extremely sweet of her!Have some fun now! Don't let me down!!!! |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So I was cruising around the web looking for gifts for the upcoming holiday. (Okay I still call it Christmas but I'm trying to be EB - that's 'everyday bland' which is what PC has done to us in my opinion.) Whilst cruising, well wait let me preface this first so you can better understand. I had an interview (finally) for a job last week. My terribly sour mood had lifted and I allowed myself to get all optimistic. Hm. Yesterday I received the e-mail saying I was wonderful, my experience was awesome but sorry we aren't hiring you. A major letdown. Please no sympathy now. I have enough going on within myself! Anyway, I tend to push negative things away from me if possible and to that end was looking to create gifts for friends. I was looking for inspiration. What I ended up with was questions. It was while watching snippetts of the show "The West Wing" that I started to wonder things. For instance, I know there are many Americans, Arabs, Israeli, French, Spanish, Russians, Italians, Jews, Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Left-wingers, Right-wingers, Democrats, Republicans, Independents - well many - who cannot tolerate our President. The reasons are as varied as the groups who loudly proclaim him to be useless, incompetent and worse of all - a total liberal. The political slams against him are many and I've read some blogs regarding this here. I was taught to never discuss politics, religion or sex with anyone unless I knew them well. So, normally I do not argue. Now the President isn't the only one in the news being slammed. Sarah Palin has also elicited press, much of it probably unwanted by herself as well as her family. This is, of course part of that price of being in the limelight. It's unfortunate living in such an age of instant communication with such a lack of facts from all sources of media, but those who are intelligent know that to get to the facts, a whole lot of digging and research needs to be done. Here's what I do believe about everything being canted about by American masses. Good for you! That's right, good for you. Show the world what democracy is all about. Wave that Constitution in everyone's face and scream, "See this? This means I can say whatever I want, about anyone I want unless it is libelous or slanderous. I am exercising my American rights! My forefathers (and mothers) died to give me these rights." What I wonder is; do those doing the most criticizing, the most condemning, the most name calling - do they understand they are using their rights? I wrote a term paper in a Journalism Writing class that got an F. The professor took umbrage at my opening sentence. She disagreed with what I said and hence felt it was within her power to just grade me a failing grade. The sentence was: Man is controlled by his emotions not his intellect." I went on to "prove" my point, with much research done of course, but this Professor would have none of it. When I cited Freedom of Speech I was asked to leave class. I did. What sticks with me after that episode is that while she thought she disagreed with my thesis statement, she jumped right in and proved it. Today, I feel more than ever that humans react from their emotional centers. We are what we are, and where we head to in our futures will depend on each of us understanding, in this country at least, that we do have a right, a responsibility to disagree with each other. What we should also shoulder, is the ability to listen to the other side or sides. This is how we grow, how we learn, how we change and evolve. I really need a job! If I get any more maudlin you have my permission to take away my chocolate! Uh, no - wait. Cancel that. Take away those frozen peas and carrots Sarah gave me when she moved away! |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I am on a 'learn stuff' kick and using Google's Library as an aid came up with a couple of books to browse through. There is good and bad with Google's Library. You open a book, get into reading it and WHOOPS - "pages 20 - 25 have not been included" . Huh? So anyway you have to get around that by, oh making stuff up yourself! It's fun stuff. I was reading Genius Explained by Michael J. A. Howe. You never know when the subject may come up in casual conversation! I made it through the long introduction, was on page 6 towards the end and the last sentence was: ""Mozart's relative youth at the time he performed his feat of musical...." I rolled down to keep reading and read this: "...fruitful beginning because it gives revealing glimpses of the ways in which a young person might have gained certain qualities that made the creation of works of genius possible." O-K-A-Y....that made no sense until I saw between the two pages in small type the following: [Page 7 is not part of this book preview] Well that sucked. Due to frustration, boredom and the weather I decided henceforth to fill in the blanks, as it were. The NEW improved sentence I came up with was: "Mozart's relative youth at the time he performed his feat of musical....fingerings caused his teenage acne to clear up. He was so overjoyed he promptly wrote Symphony No. 25 in G minor." Because I'm so nice I post now a link so you can hear the music. The lyrics are not displayed, which are too bad as they make the song I think. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lC1lRz5Z_s Now if I could only find those lyrics! Anyone know them? |
| ...I mean weather! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** These two little guys, Ice and Cube, are currently on whether, uh weather watch. The reports are flipping in so let's get to them shall we? Athens, Maine that almost Greek vacation spot is currently: 28F [no pelicans do not do celcius so go convert this yourselves!] The Wind Chill factor is 28F. For those of you not familiar with 'wind chill' that is what freezes the snot on your upper lip and causes pimples to freeze and crack off. The mild Lo 26F is balmly wouldn't you say?    Cube reports that Breezy Point, New York is at 43F with a wind chill factor of 38F and a calm NW wind blowing at 9 MPH. He claims the Lo will be 38F which he loves! Ice was stuck investigating Doctors Inlet, Florida. While this is not his type of climate he wants you all to know Doctors do know best! The temperature is holding at 59F, poor Ice is melting! The wind is non existant. At Welcome, Minnesota we have one of those frigid welcomes it seems with a temperature at 34F, Wind Chill 23F, and expected Lo of 26F. They both hurried to Frost, Texas hoping the weather would improve for them. They found it was 42F with an actual Wind Chill of 34F. Not even an expected Lo of 40F thrilled them. Moving on to Otter, Montana, although I do not know anyone who currently is, or has or does anyone actually live there? it was a brighter picture for Ice and Cube. Temperatures were finally closer to what they wanted at 22F with a Wind Chill of 12F. The Lo will be 14F and both Patrolling Pelicans spun in delight.It took many small type fishies to get either of them to investigate Miami, Arizona which is holding at 55F and Cube was heard to mutter Pelican cusses at the Lo expected at 35F. This one cracked me up. At Green Acres, Washington, where a certain "pig" lives I'm sure, it is 30F with no actual Wind Chill factor but there will be 7 degrees lost gaining or losing to achieve the Lo of 23F. That's the weather across the United States, and please don't place personal requests as these two brave stalwart Pelicans are too pooped to visit any other states - for now that is. Warmth of soul is great - could I get it to spread to my toes though? |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So, it's over today all this NaNoWriMo hardship. Congratulations to each of you who entered and wrote even one sentence. This was a personal challenge and whatever you wrote was in answer to that. Now many of you are wondering "Now what?" and I have some advice for you. 1. Wax the ceiling 2. Knight yourself 3. Run around in squares 4. Mow your carpet 5. See how long you can sleep 6. Develop a complex 7. Outmaneuver your shadow 8. Get run over by a train of thought 9. Throw a tomato into a fan and most important of all 10. Do not look at, open or think about those words you wrote during November 2009! |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So it is the Day after Gobble Day. It is Black Friday. I checked the news to be sure no one died during the mania of store's marked downs and so far so good. I hope it bolsters the American Economy, but I don't think one day can do that. I suppose ideas for gift giving are in order, however perhaps it should be a list of what NOT to get your relative, significant other, or friend. 1. A Santa Comode Set I know someone who actually bought this and I said, "This gives sitting on Santa's lap a whole new meaning huh?" 2. Jesus Band-Aids I swear they make these and I can foresee many problems faced if trying to apply to an 'owie' in strategic places. However who could get an 'owie' there? 3. Cat butt refrigerator magnets There may be a use there if you think about it. If one were on a diet, going to open that frig and having a cat's butt in your face may very well kill your appetite. 4. Greatest Hits of the Decade album. A decade equals ten years so one would think there could be excellant music, but we all know the sludge they put on these don't we? 5. A sweat shirt that reads: "Not fluent in Idiot. Speak slowly." I actually would love to hand this one out to some special people - HA! Now it's your turn to think up, find or even to buy those gifts that just keep on giving! From me to you just in time for the holiday seasons! |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I know I'm on unemployment (however that may soon change due to a call I received today - YA!) but I had to get them. I did. It was a matter of OMG - seventy-seven BOOKS for less than one dollar each? ON CD? Yes, I got em. All written by an author who mesmerized me when I was little, Anne McCaffrey. ALL HER BOOKS. ALL HER SERIES. Now they were shipped from another country that is true. My USPS person screwed up the delivery - this is also true. But I have so many wonderful stories to listen to now. I started with the Pern series, as this was, in my opinion, the author's strongest writings. After getting calluses on my butt, my back sore and cramped from sitting at my computer (the better to hear them clearly of course) and my mind starting to wander into La-La Land, I put a halt to listening to them. I attempted to listen to The Crystal Singer, another series of books by her and no matter the different story line - sad to say - I got bored. I shall return to listening to them later. This all leads up to the untimely death of my new red enameled tea kettle. Yes. I had put the kettle on to boil water to make coffee (French Press style) and went, sat back down at the computer and hit >Play< on Media Player. Bad move. Bad, bad move. Three hours later I get up to fetch a glass of water and when I got into the kitchen I immediately saw disaster. My kettle had meanwhile gotten married to the burner she sat on. *sigh* I had to wait for the burner (which was on HIGH) to cool off before the enamel weld popped. The bottom of the kettle had such a wonderful imprint of the burner. Truly, you could identify the burner in any line-up! Now I just have to figure out how to remove the enamel stuck to the burner. I already tried filing, scrubbing and chipping. Nothing worked. You would think I had learned my lesson correct? Nahhhhh. Next morning, after walking the dogs, I put water in a saucepan to boil as I still had the waiting French Press duly loaded and waiting for something - anything - to happen with it. I again put the burner (another burner of course) on HIGH, and AGAIN went to sit at the computer. This time I was reading Blog entries and responding to e-mails, making comments and so on. TWO hours later I smelled it. I ran to the kitchen, knocking over the chair, scaring the puppies, and saw that what was once shiny silver stainless steel, now looked to be a poor imitation of copper. *sigh* I told my friend Christine who is now intent on getting me a Ms. or Mr. or Mrs. coffee maker. She gave me a huge scold. *sigh* I am currently not using the stove with it's last two burners left unmarked, unscorched and undamaged. Le' Microwave will have to do while I am Dragon Dreaming. Always remember Archimedes' principle. |
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