yes... I'm addicted. |
Another day another blog... I ran out of space in the other one right when I was gonna reveal the meaning of life...and now, I've forgotten what it was...so I need another blog to figure it all out... love you all If you REALLY need to catch up on the rest of my life darlings... it's here... (well not REALLY the rest of my life, but a smidgen of my existence taken at brief intervals)
new journal
Jaren is Avarielle made this painting for me... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
I once was in a writing workshop with a Psychiartrist whose writing talked about an affair she had with this type of personality disorder. Don't get me wrong we all have narcissistic tendencies... something that can be helpful in helping us get to where we go in life, but there is a point where it becomes very disturbing... they can be hard to spot... but the first thing that'll clue you in is their inability to really feel for others and will only act that way in order to get something out of it. Apparently John Cheever was narcissistic... Here's a website for further reading... http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/ I love psychology because it allows you to understand the workings of characters without actually having to have contact with such people... What I found most compelling was this sort of 'self-help' on dealing with these types of individuals... "Given distance, or only transient and intermittent contact, you can get along with narcissists by treating them as infants: you give them whatever they want or need whenever they ask and do not expect any reciprocation at all, do not expect them to show the slightest interest in you or your life (or even in why you're bothering with them at all), do not expect them to be able to do anything that you need or want, do not expect them to apologize or make amends or show any consideration for your feelings, do not expect them to take ordinary responsibility in any way. But note: they are not infants; infants develop and mature and require this kind of care for only a brief period, after which they are on the road to autonomy and looking after themselves, whereas narcissists never outgrow their demands for dedicated attention to their infantile needs 168 hours a week. Adult narcissists can be as demanding of your time and energy as little babies but without the gratification of their growing or learning anything from what they suck from you. Babies love you back, but adult narcissists are like vampires: they will take all you can give while giving nothing back, then curse you for running dry and discard you as a waste of their precious time." |
"Harbinger harpings" by Elisa the Bunny Stik Adore alliteration... it's just FUN... and if you've looked at Elisa the Bunny Stik 's journal... she uses alliteration for the titles of many of her journal entries... I'm sure all of you know what it is...but just to act as a jump out... a cliff...so to speak... I'll give you an definition... "The matching or repetition of consonants is called alliteration, or the repeating of the same letter (or sound) at the beginning of words following each other immediately or at short intervals. A famous example is to be found in the two lines by Tennyson: The moan of doves in immemorial elms, And murmuring of innumerable bees. " http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/lit_terms/alliteration.html Now Tennyson's is particluarly well done, because it using the 'm' sound not only throughout this piece of poetry, but the 'i' also...and specifically the 'm' sound doesn't just appear in the first sound...but later... okay... and this is getting rather pedantic... sooo what did I really come to say... My rakings of a rightful requiem are the construct of community colorings, the leaves from lovely losers create a cornucopia not to be bested but to be gently guided and groomed where we come to the glorified garden with the promise of protection and patience to mercilessly stomp on stumps of souls makes the mercenary meaningless and cold. And yeah, alliteration can be overdone |
I just finished writing a load of crap... but I had to... it was circling in my head... and was driving me nuts... but it felt good to get it down... do others suffer from this malaise, I wonder... I would prefer to be writing something worthwhile but honestly that's not what this was about... just had to get it out... and I honestly thought I might make it public...but I don't think I will because it really isn't worthwhile for anyone but myself... |
*Takes out large broom and sweeps up and down* *Takes out big dustpan... sweeps up all the pettiness, shallowness and maliciousness into the dustpan...* *Rolls out large barrel container opens up the lid and throws in the all that stuff...* *closes lid with a resounding thud* ooohhh funny...now we've got Pandora's box.... *wonders who's gonna open it* |
I put on my ankle high khaki leather boots, they have straps on the side and a semi-pornographic heel. The type with which I throw side kicks with the typical "EEEWWWWHHHH" side-splitting scream and then I fall to the floor in atypical side-splitting fashion..."OWWWHHHHhhhh...." After taking a handful of Advil, I head to work where... An empath tells me that 'you're beautiful inside and out'... I wish I didn't need external validation... anywhere...but empaths know better... and in a couple of days I'll be valid again. a hero says he can leave work early to pick our son up at the bus station, so I don't have to stress myself. another empath tells me to obsess about what is positive about myself... and I wonder why we always obsess about the negative... I also wonder about how the wounded attract the wounded and you just hope their wounds don't ooze on you. the third empath tells me she's going to start doing the five minute dating circuit... she said at least that would be entertaining... I told her she should wear her pasties and THAT would be entertaining... she said she always wanted to be a whore. At home, I relieve my aching feet of my side-splitting boots, and watch my 3 year old daughter walk around with a pen and small notepad... she sits down... and starts to scribble a bit. I ask her what she's doing... she says "I taking notes." I believe her to be the next CEO of a 'Morally Obligated Company' or the President of 'Morally Obligated Country'. I watch my other daughter move her mouth to try to make a little coo... or burp... and then a fart...well not from her mouth obviously, but I marvel at her noises... We all sit down to watch "Batman Begins" at the end Batman a warrior is battling the evil ninja another warrior who wants to make the world a better place by destroying Gotham because it's overcome by villians and criminals... I say the villian is being a 'judge, jury and executioner' and 'playing god' by trying to eradicate the 'evil' because even if he eradicates the evil, he'll also kill allot of innocent people. A hero says "Like Bush" and HE's a conservative... makes for great sex...me being of a liberal nature.... |
"Invalid Entry" by auric Before we take to sea we walk on land, Before we create we must understand.... from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine...who was huge pain in the ass for the British...and so he could be, he wrote intelligently and creatively to stir up the heathens.... well the rebel rousing yankees... a nobel and just cause... well at least to the Americans... British didn't appreciate it much... he was my hero in high school... I wanted to fuck his brains out... well if he'd been alive and interested... But WHEN is the pen just a trickle of crap... well lots of times... and these days it's hard to sort through the stuff that's good and bad... you just take what you read and take what you enjoy and stick with that... is it the right plan of action? Do people read stuff they enjoy and ISN'T crap?... yeah all the time, but it's harder to get to the masses these days...because there's information overload... and unfortunately THAT can mean quality suffers. |
every so often something happens and it alll soooo makes sense... and you get goosebumps...because something has occurred that makes you realize where you are and where you're going.... and that's a good thing... having a direction in life and a movement towards something tangible is a wonderful thing... I've enjoyed reading the journals around me and seeing where people are and where they're going... or just listening to what they have to say... I've learned allot in my life using the "Power to Shut-up" and just take stuff in... and part of where we go is from what we've learned from others... |
Negativity? mmmm... how does it make you feel? does it make you get to where you're going? I was watching my son in his swim class...he looks to the other kids to see how they're doing and he strives to out do them... now that's not negative or postive thinking...it's his competitive spirit trying to out do the other... it's excellent to see and something to be admired... on the other hand there are people who wallow in their own negativity and anger...they feed off it... I prefer to write it out and be done with it...and frankly it can be tremendously fun and inspiring... but you need to move on...or it festers in your heart and brings you down... I'm not into 'new age' thinking by any means BUT I do believe certain personality traits aren't good for you or those around you... those include rage, pettiness, spitefulness, maliciousness and revenge... unless of course you can turn that energy not towards others but striving to get to a better place...success IS the best revenge.. but above alll these things... the most important aspect is the willingness to change.. THAT I believe in totally... there are sooo many people out there that can't change...because the core of their soul has the festering of negativity... it eats away at them... or alternatively they feed off of others and their negativity... I'm through with that... I used to be all angry and twisted inside...but it's such a big WASTE of time... and the people who use that to bring others down are a waste of space. |
Everytime I see MaryLou handle this song goes through my head... it's by Jimi Hendrix The Wind Cries Mary After all the jacks are in their boxes And the clowns have all gone to bed You can hear happiness staggering on down the street Footsteps dressed in red And the wind whispers mary A broom is drearily sweeping Up the broken pieces of yesterdays life Somewhere a queen is weeping Somewhere a king has no wife And the wind, it cries mary The traffic lights, they turn, uh, blue tomorrow And shine their emptiness down on my bed The tiny island sags down stream cause the life that lived is, Is dead And the wind screams mary Uh-will the wind ever remember The names it has blow in the past? And with this crutch, its old age, and its wisdom It whispers no, this will be the last And the wind cries mary |
"Goosing my Muse" by Prosperous Snow celebrating Muse:*pinch* *pinch* Writer:"ooooohhh Mr. Undecided.. stop that... I bruise easily...especially there." Muse: "I'll give you some GPs?" Writer:"Yes what I always wanted... more rather little itty bitty considerations for my writing" Muse:"Write me a sexy sonnet, an exotic erotica, a pleasing passage... all in the earnest desire to be original..." Writer: "Ahhh but my muse you aren't clever enough, nor funny enough, nor talented enough, nor even big enough for me..." *Looks down at the diminutive hairy fellow who is rather short and plump with a limp and small dick... * Muse:"But I beg of you keep me here, by your side, I really am wonderful inside... even though I can't wash my own hair or drive my own car, I fear where germs reside. My mental illness and impotence can be your inspiring guide." Writer: "You are way too attached... I am smothered by your insistence...you will not make a good muse... go and gooooo... to some other silly soul that insists on writing about uninteresting garbage and foul smelling carnage..." Muse: *Sob* Writer: *Pats him on the head*... "It's alright dear... you're really better off dead" |