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 |  I wonder if this'll make any sense at all. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks tirong  ! Asteg ehhh :)We all need to vent once in a while. Thank you for listening. Check out the Blogging Newsletter!
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| Hi there gorgeous. So, VD sucked!  And no, I'm not bitter. Do you believe me?  Ramon was still the first one to greet me a Happy Valentines. We're okay now, really. I think he's even sweeter now than when we were together... maybe he's finally realizing what he gave up? Anyway, he told me he really misses me and wants to get back together, but says he's too embarrassed. Yeah, he pretty much ruined everything with me and my family... so we better leave things as they are, you know? We're better off as friends. We're going to Baguio tonight, me and the whole fam. He was supposed to be on the trip too but, oh well. Good news is that my friend Kuku and his family is at Baguio, too! Maybe we can see each other over there and even take a few pictures together. Maybe. We will be back on Sunday, with loads of pictures, I tell you. You guys have a great weekend too, alright? Cool.(Thank you to everyone who sent me really sweet Valentine goodies! The cNotes were wonderful and your e-mails were fantastic. Thank you.) |
| I was lying in my bed last night, really tired from a very busy day, about to doze off, when I heard E bounding up the stairs. She switched the light on in the room and told me that welkerdeb has done it again.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Breaking up with someone a week before Valentines is not so hot, but thankfully I've got some really solid friends who cares. Thank you so much Deb!  (I just got my braces adjusted and tightened so I can't ransack those chocs just yet. But just you wait, Ferrero. Just you wait.) |
| Wow, it's a wonder what a father can do. My Heavenly Father and earthly father helped me so much today. Without them I still would've been in this whole zombie funk. I was really depressed and lonely this afternoon but after an honest, good, long talk with my dad everything got straightened out. I told him EVERYTHING and he understood. He was very understanding and comforting and he said all the right words. He made me realize that I was only punishing myself more if I continued to keep my grudge against Ramon. So by decision I forgave Ramon... forgiving really does set us free. Maybe I can never really blog about everything but just know that I finally got set free from all anger, guilt, hurt, and pain I've been feeling for the last few days. I have the best dad. And we have the best God. Thank you Lord Jesus. Oh, and I'm getting my Prerium today!!!  |
| Ramon and I broke up a few days ago. I'm really not in the mood to tell how it happened, so I'm just going to copy and paste snippets from the letter I sent a friend just a few moments ago. When I look in the mirror I think I beat myself up by wondering what it is in me that made him lose his love. Deep down I know that it isn't my fault but I really loved him, and back then I know that he really loved me, too. He 'chased' me for a year before I finally gave him a chance, and I thought nothing could change his love for me. Apparently I was wrong. He told me he loves me but he said his mind is so messed up right now, and told me that our relationship isn't going anywhere anyway what with my near move. But he used to make promises that he's always going to be there for me no matter what. If he still loves me I know that he will not do this, I think he'll make the most out of our time together. But that's not the case now. My family tells me that I'm better off cause it will just hurt worse if I go away and we're still together. I know that they're right but it doesn't make the pain any less. Well, it's better this way anyway cause back when we were still together we fight almost everyday, and now we're just back to being friends. He still texts me everyday and sometimes I wonder if he's just doing that cause somehow he still cares or maybe he just feels sorry for me. I don't know. Sometimes I feel okay about the whole thing; other times I just feel really sad. I remember all our good times together and I marvel at how things could change so much, so fast. I remember how he used to look at me, that one look and I know how much he cares, right down to the bone. The little things he used to do just to make me happy and how he used to tell me he loves me. I know girls are more emotional but am I the only one in pain? If he really loved me then why do I think that he's not suffering the way that I am? We got our visas yesterday. I am going to get through this. I am a strong woman and I know I will, I guess I just need the time to heal. |
Okay, so as I've told some of my friends here my emotions have been flip-flopping ever since we found the exact date of our departure out. One day I'm really excited about the move, the next day I'm totally sad and it came to a point where I cried—okay, bawled. See, Equilibrium  and I was walking around town the other day and even though a bird dropped its crappy load right at my head (which Maricor had a lot of trouble removing), I realized that I was very sad to leave. I saw places with lots of fun and lovely memories and I couldn't help it, I just started crying.  I'm such a baby sometimes, but I guess it's just natural.I thought of Ramon, Shiela, and my sister, basically everyone who I wouldn't be seeing for a long time. While crying Shiela and I were texting and being her usual self she was saying stuff like, "It's okay, stop being so dramatic," or "Next time don't walk around town; you become the drama queen when you do." She tried to make me laugh and it really worked, and then I talked to my father about it. He comforted me and told me to 'get over it'.  What can I say, guys are really insensitive sometimes, even my dad. But he hugged me and stuff and told me that everything would be alright. I talked to Ate Grace about it too that night and I was fine by that time, but she started crying on the phone Out of everyone, I'm probably gonna miss her the most.When I told Ramon that we were finally leaving he immediately counted the days we have left, then fell quiet for a few seconds. When I bugged him about it he told me that he was happy and sad at the same time. Happy for me cause I'm finally going to be with my mother, and sad that, well, you know. I was feeling okay at that time so I just said, "Well, that's life" in a chirpy tone of voice. But there are moments when I think of him and then I get really sad, too. But just like my best friend said, there's nothing to worry about. If it's us, it's us—if not, then we'd both learn to live with it. Life is unpredicatable, I'm just gonna have to learn to ride with the flow. Anyway, here's more wall art photos I've taken. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| The weather is deliciously cold in Manila the past few days and as reported, will still be in the following weeks. I am always in my sweaters and I'm loving it. Just this morning while on my way to the City Hall I saw fog on the streets. That doesn't happen very often! Baguio City's temperature is even colder than Hong Kong's and California's. It is now below 9 degrees C, I think. The weather stations warns us though, that we might as well enjoy the cold weather cause when summer comes it's gonna be mighty hot. We're not gonna be here on summer anymore. February 17 - We're going up to Baguio. March 17 - We have to be landed at Toronto by that date. April 17 - Mama's Birthday. Every 17 - My monthly anniversary with Ramon. My feelings are all mixed up—I'm happy, sad, excited, apprehensive, and way anxious all at once. Pray for me you guys. |
| Sunday morning at my part of the world. Good morning to all Things that brightened up my morning:  Seeing Z.˚rz back on the blog list. I missed you Zack... most especially your twisted sense of humor.  "Invalid Item"  is going very smoothly, thanks to everyone! Ronis brain tumor is gone! e-mail this morning. Roni's mails always cheer me up, I think she's one of the nicest people in this site! Truly a gem.Hmmm... that's it. I'm sorry for not having a real blog entry, things just tend to get a bit swamped with the auction and all. And if I haven't been to your blog, know that I didn't miss it in purpose! Listening to Coheed and Cambria and Armor For Sleep. I love these bands. |
| A couple of entries ago I talked about our cats and even posted a few pictures. I failed to deliver a frontal photo of our cat Wolfi though, to show his wolf-like face. A couple of you expressed interest as to how he really looks like so I forced a shot out of him last night. In this picture he was lying outside our window, peering through the dirty screen, probably wondering what I was up to this time. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Wolfi A crappy shot, I know, but that's all I can show you at the moment. His eyes even watered from the brightness of the camera's flash Wolfi me boy (pronounced Mr. Krabbs-like, you know, from Spongebob Squarepants ), Bubba's son, the sweetest cat there is! |
| Thanks so much for all your encouragement on my previous entry! I'm feeling way better today, it's funny but I'm back on my annoyingly perky good mood. I did talk with my Ate Grace about it and after a good cry and lots of encouragement and wake-up call from her it was like a huge load had been lifted off of me. Thanks Ate! Anyway daddy and I went to the Canadian Embassy yesterday to complain about the delay of the visa. Since it was their neglect and not our fault that things have come to this, they told us that they would be requesting for a medical extension thingy and would be contacting us as soon as possible. It's all in God's hands now. Ramon and I are better now than the past couple of days. I guess I freaked out cause I wasn't used to us going through things like that, but you're all right—everything and everyone goes through ups and downs. I'm itching for the auction to start—I'm excited! So many wonderful people have donated and I can't wait for the actual bidding to start. intuey GoT Survivor!  gave me sensible advice about how to run auctions; she said that people tend to lose interest quickly if the auction runs too long. I hope that won't be happening with mine!Thanks to everyone who have made my 2nd account Birthday here so special. Ronis brain tumor is gone! plugged my auction everywhere and she also gave me a cNote and some GPs. Thanks, Roni! vivacious  , PastVoices and twinkledee ♥'s you gave me pretty cNotes, too. Thanks, girls! kelly1202 also gave me a birthday badge, thank you Kel!And to everyone who gave me their greetings, love and support... thank you. I am a very fortunate girl to have such wonderful friends like you. |
| I was texting with my friend Ty this morning and it really flattered me when he said that he had visited my port here and told me that I was really good. Thanks, Ty! Anyway, Ronis brain tumor is gone! gifted me cNotes through ~*~Damiana Returned~*~ , and the cNotes arrived today. I just finished putting them all up and here it is!
Thanks Ronnie and Lisa! The auction is going really good, too, even though it hasn't officially started yet. Item donations are coming in quite nicely and I couldn't be more thankful. I hope the actual auction goes quite as nicely!--------------- I was with Ramon and Malou last night at her house. Both were having a couple of beers and we had a bunch of grilled food for pulutan (pork ears, chicken intestines, and chicken skin) yum! Anyway Malou's four year old son J.D. was with us, we're all fond of the kid, he's one of the cutest you'll see. J.D.'s almost always around whenever the bunch of us gets together, but what bothered me was that Malou's letting her kid drink beer with us. She even puts her cig on his mouth and have him take a fake puff. I know it's none of my business cause she's his mother but I get really bothered whenever I see that.The sad thing is I just laugh with all the others like it's just a huge joke. I know that sometimes I can't help it and I make a face full of disapproval, but I force myself to just smile. I don't think there's anything I can do, really. I just don't think it's right for her kids to be exposed to such vices that early—and even encouraged on it, now that I really think about it. I can't even talk to my friend about it cause frankly, how she raises her kids are never any of my business. I believe we really should be careful with what we expose the kids to. Just take J.D.'s playmate Nicole, for example. Nicole's parents are always out leaving the kid alone with the nanny. One day they caught the kid watching porn on DVD, the kid knows how to operate the machine. I've heard that porn tapes are always lying around their house like, well, pillows or something! And one day Malou's husband John caught J.D. and Nicole naked, with Nicole kneeling in front of him. That was the second time that has happened, Malou was the one who saw it the first time. She was quite incredulous and yelled, "What are you guys doing!" Nicole answered innocently, "Making love." So since then Malou's been trying to keep her son away from Nicole. I really wish she'd keep him away from the vices, too. |
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