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 |  I wonder if this'll make any sense at all. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks tirong  ! Asteg ehhh :)We all need to vent once in a while. Thank you for listening. Check out the Blogging Newsletter!
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Losing my zlog the past couple of weeks and gaining it back slowly but surely made me realize how attached I am to this site, and how much I value my friends here. Reading dragonfly~guess who's back?  's blog today touched me because she had written about WdC friendships and how tight they become. I have my 'real-life' friends but you guys are as good to me as them. They know all about you, and you, and you, and YOU. My real world friends think you're all cool, by the way. [Especially you Zack my best friend thinks you rock... and she also thinks you're cute. Go figure.  ]We all have different personalities, different beliefs, different views, just like real world friends are, but we all get along just the same, because of the amazing respect for one another. Another thing I love in this site is the genuine care and concern for ane another. The need to help someone who's going through a rough patch in their life is well and alive in us; even though realistically, we can do nothing but pray for them when they're in trouble. And even though we may all be thousands of miles apart, just knowing that you guys care for me and pray for me when I'm in a mess helps me deal with things a whole lot better. The first time I read about Scarlett  's situation with her son Paul, I was floored and bothered. I was worried about my friend. I can only imagine what she's really feeling—I know it must be tough. You know the feeling of wanting to hug a person so bad? That's what I felt. If only I could go through the computer monitor and suddenly emerge in Nottingham! Scarlett you wouldn't know what hit you! Also, LilPaul 's farewell saddened me to the core; he was one of my favorite people on this site. He's kind, very funny, a great friend, to say the least. When I read his last blog entry I kept hoping that he'd suddenly mail me or make another entry that says, "I'm just kidding! HA HA HA!" But that isn't the case. He may be gone for a long time, I don't even know if he'll ever come back, and I wish there was something I could do to help him with his troubles, but all I can do is pray. It doesn't matter that he doesn't believe in God; I'm gonna pray for him anyway.You guys are in my heart. You're all very special to me, regardless whether or not I am able to blead and cleave regularly. blead - blog read cleave - comment leave Just so you know, dragonfly~guess who's back? started these stuff  I think LilPaul was in on a lot of it, too.  Oh, and Z.˚rz just made up another one! Bloner! Just go to his blog to find out. |
| It was hot outside, flaming even, and sticky, and dusty, and smokey, and just plain ulgh. Yes, I just got back home from LTO (kinda like our DMV here, you know, where you get and renew licenses and stuff) and let me tell you that it freakin' bites. Their computer was malfunctioning every ten minutes and we had to wait for about an hour when it suddenly froze and they had to restart. Then when things were finally picking up the whole staff announced, "Come back after one our, people! It's lunch time!" Bleh. It sucks. We're going back tomorrow. Just at a different branch. EDIT Yahoo for Ronato Alcano, World Pool 2006 ultimate champion! He whipped Ralf Souqet's ass (Germany) last Sunday night, he he he. He now becomes the third Filipino following Efren 'Bata' Reyes in 1999 and Alex Pagulayan in 2004 to hold pool’s most coveted title. Yay for Filipino billiard players! |
| Well, David McClain blamed partyof5dj on his latest Series of Unfortunate Events entry, and by the end of reading that I was laughing myself silly, but also craving a big mug of coffee. So what did I do? I left a comment, got up, and grabbed my favorite mug—this huge crystal beer mug with an ancient ship embossed on it. I heat myself some coffee and opened our jar of coffee whitener. I wrinkled my nose when I saw how old the thing is. Let's just say that the powder isn't so powdery anymore. It has turned into huge, hard chunks but I wanted my coffee and I didn't want it black. So I grabbed a spoon and forced a huge chunk out of the jar, then dumped it into my mug. There. Doesn't look pretty, but it'll have to do... methinks, it'll melt in the hot water anyway. I poured the hot coffee into the mug and started to stir the thing, breathing in its heavenly smell. I was just anticipating going back in front of the PC and reading more blogs while drinking my coffee when I noticed these little somethings swimming in my coffee. My eyes narrowed. I stopped stirring and looked closer. Dead ants! Dozens of dead ants were swimming unconsciously on my coffee! Then it came back to me. I was like, "Ohhh!" I suddenly remembered the time when Shiela was staying here and I made her some coffee. I used the same whitener and she told me, "There's ants on my coffee." "Yeah?" "Yup, but they're all dead." "Want me to get them out?" "Nah, that's okay, they're dead anyway." Then my father pipes in, "That's alright, you never know, maybe the ants' industriousness will rub off on you guys!" Okay, so back to my story. I started taking the dead ants out by spoon and let me tell you that by that time I was starting to get really annoyed. Try it one time, the freaking stuff just won't get out! So I stand by the sink for a good ten minutes getting these ants out, and by the end of my ordeal I was sweating like mad. Hey, we don't have a winter season, so try to understand. Most nights are cool and raining but the afternoons, well, we're like pigs on a rotisserie! I look, sweating, at my hot coffee, and suddenly it doesn't seem so appealing anymore. My mind changed—I wanted cold coffee. I opened our fridge and peered in through the transparent glass of the freezer, searching for some ice cubes. Eureka! But a couple of ice cubes wouldn't turn a hot coffee into a cold one, it'll just turn it into a lukewarm drink, and that's even worse. So I thought to myself, Why don't I just leave my coffee in the freezer for a while? Then when it gets cold, I'll put in those ice cubes and then it'll be really cold. Good thinking, huh? Hmm, well, nah. Seeing that the freezer door was sealed shut by ice (we haven't defrosted for some time) I clutched the freezer door handle and yanked it open with extra vivacity. The sad thing was I got thrown back by the force and I was already holding the mug on my other hand, so the coffee spilled on my hands. Bleh! I quickly reached in to deliver it inside the freezer but the mug collided with the half-open freezer door and more coffee spilled out, into my hands, onto the floor, and at my slippers! Double bleh! So you see... all the blehness that happened was caused by David McClain 's entry today... if it wasn't for his story I wouldn't have wanted any coffee... IT'S TOR'S FAULT! |
I'm really sorry about being such an awful blog reader (or bleader, according to dragonfly~guess who's back? ) and comment leaver (cleaver?) these days... I promise I'll try to get to them later today though!Okay, now to what I really want to say. There's some days when you want to be sweet, understanding, gentle, and you know that's the right thing to do, but you just cannot. You're pissed and you want to slap a person in the head and yell, "Wake up! Why do you keep blaming everyone? Why do you keep blaming the people around you, the circumstances, God? Why do you think everyone's out to get you when in fact they don't give a single damn about you? The only One who really cares is God and all you do is keep denying Him!" I'm trying not to rant all self-righteous here, but I'm just so tired of people blaming everyone but themselves. They whine and complain about their lives and are so bitter about the fact that it's going down the drain. I understand why anyone would be pissed if that really is happening but please, take responsibility for your actions. Take them into account. You wouldn't be in any position in your life without your own actions taking you there one way or another. I'm a bit high-strung this morning, huh? Another thing that pisses me off: people making fun of God. If you don't believe in God, so be it. Fine, leave it, but don't go talking about Him or Jesus like they're me or Brad Pitt Or Tom Cruise or whatever. It's not even nice if you make fun of a person, regardless of whether you know them personally or not. What made you think that making fun of God is okay? You're lucky you can't exhaust God's patience! Yes, He is patient, but I am a mere human with flaws and shortcomings, and I'll rant when I'm hurt, or pissed, or annoyed. Most times I'm quiet, but it's bubbling over the top this morning (my time). I hope I don't offend anyone by this entry, you know how much I love you guys, but if I do, then that's okay, too. We all have different opinions but hey, this is my blog, right? "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge." - Proverbs 1:7 You can have multiple degrees and be considered among one of the smartest, wisest, and most intelligent in the world, but if you don't have a reverential fear of God... I'm sorry, but for me you haven't learned anything at all. |
| Yes, we do not celebrate Halloween quite like you guys do. November 1 here is Araw ng Patay (Day of the Dead) or Fiesta ng Patay, not Halloween. People go to cemeteries to visit loved ones who have passed away, and those who don't just enjoy the day off from work. Traffic on October 31 and November 1 is also hideous—you definitely wouldn't want to be out driving if you had the choice. Commuting would be really hard, too. It's just that crammed. My family and I never go to cemeteries to visit the dead on November 1. This may sound harsh, but what's the sense in visiting the dead? Might as well go and see someone who's alive. Others who don't get the chance to go to cemeteries light up candles in remembrance of their loved ones who had passed away. Say, if you got two uncle dead, you light up two candles. If you got two uncles and three aunts dead you light up five candles. If you got a whole bunch of your relatives dead then you better light up a whole darn pack. Then you stick it in your front yard or whatever to show that you remember them. Traditions. My friend Mike lighted up one candle last night and stuck it in front of their gates. My friend Ty forgot his lighter so he lighted up his cigarette with it. Then they told me that it was forbidden to do that, like it was bad omen or something. I didn't even know that. So, I spent November 1 with Ramon. We were together the whole day, well, up until he had to go home anyway. He has work November 2 and he gets up really early so I let him go home at around 9pm. Actually he had to go home earlier than that but you know how the charms of a woman can work. I swear that the guy is putty in my hands, heh heh. Ty came over just as Ramon left, and he wanted to drink the night away, so I obliged him. He arrived with a really sweet smile and the nicest gestures, though he already had three beers that time. He then bought another half case of Red Horse and a couple of San Miguels. You wouldn't want to be alone with Ty once he gets drunk for he starts to get really loud and obnoxious. He's funnier too, but also a little dangerous, the type that can get into scrapes if found at the wrong place and at the wrong time. So I texted Soc for backup. He arrived (thankfully). Ty was already more than a little buzzed when he did, but they got along okay. Then we got bored and went to Salts&Spirits, a bar near here. It's a really relaxing place, kinda expensive, but it has a nice and chill atmosphere. Ty was getting really loud at that time. He even started calling one service girl there 'baby' and was hooting and shouting from time to time. Thankfully the service crew and the other customers just found him funny. One guy even wanted to buy us another round of drinks, he was that entertained by Ty. So we met other people last night, too. It was pretty cool. We talked about Ty's job and my near-move. Ty told everyone at the bar that I was going away soon and that was why he was splurging. Ty's a good friend, just a lot crazy when drunk. Anyway one guy told me to be 'fucking beware' at Toronto. He said that there was no freedom of expression or something like that. He said that while he was there, somebody heard him say 'Oh my God' and that person went ballistic. Do I believe him? Not really. He also told some crazy story of driving 120 miles per hour (I'm not sure if I'm getting this story right, I was pretty groggy by that time) and the police guy who stopped him over was really nice, he told us. Uh-huh, whatever. Ty told me to make the most of everything out there. He said life will definitely be lonely unlike here where the camaraderie is always solid, but that I better make the most out of it. He's right. He said he's hoping that I wouldn't change, for we have known countless people who went to other countries and were fully transformed when they got back, but not in a good way. I told him 'of course I wouldn't change'. He said that no one can ever be really sure. Then he started speaking and yelling in french. By that time he was really, really drunk, and the sweet smile which he started with earlier that night was completely replaced by a goofy one. Oh, and we talked about that TV show Max X where the host said, "Who says life is boring in Canada??!" then proceeded to show a clip where a guy was walking down the street, suddenly tripped, and then fell flat on his face. Then it switched back to the host. "See? Life's never boring in Canada!" That cracked us all up. No offense to my Canadian friends here, though... besides, it's an American TV show, so we had no doings with that I got home at around 3am, and have been sleeping since then. I just woke up when I did this blog, so I'm sorry for all the typos and errors and what not. Oh, and a couple of kids yelled a shrill "TRICK OR TREAT!" at me the other night while I was walking somewhere with Soc. I think I just snorted and gave them an "are-you-for-real?" look. Trick or treat, hahaha, are they for real. |
Important stuff first. This is a little late, but congratulations to David McClain for winning Blogger of the Month this October. We finally got the dude, huh?  "Invalid Entry"  is out, there's the link if you still haven't checked it out.Scarlett , you did a terrific job. I had to say that, it wouldn't be right if I didn't.Oh, and it's over 5,000 views for this blog! Thank you so much for keeping on clicking! --------------- I've been having a WdC dry season lately. I think we all get that sometimes. I still log in everyday, sure, but I don't participate as much as I used to. I go to my blog, fingers positioned to type, but come up with nothing. My thoughts are all scattered and seemingly meaningless. I go to other blogs, your blogs, and scan your latest entries. I click on the comment option, trying to read slowly and fully this time, but soon enough I click on that little X, too. Bummer. I then trudge over to My Favorites, check out the latest posts in my groups, but other than that, I do nothing! I am a WdC Bum. A lazy, lazy bum. Maybe real life's rubbing off in here. Yes, I admit it, I am a real-life bum. I sleep unbelievable hours a day. And when I'm awake, I'm either eating, or watching TV, or over at a friend's house hanging. I feel like I've ceased to be a productive part of the community. Wait, was I ever one? At one point in my life, well, maybe. You can never know how much I really want to find a job and get to work. I do, but apparently can't. We're moving out of here in a month and soon enough we'll also be flying to Toronto. It would be without sense if I still try to find one. Most of my friends are getting off of their lazy behinds and finally snagging jobs. I'm happy for them, but sometimes I can't help thinking how I'll end up in Canada. There are times when I get anxious, but I quit the feeling fast. I know that God will take care of us, take care of me. He will put me in a place where He wants me and where I'll be happy, I'm sure of it. So there's really no point in worrying. Ramon works 6 days a week, and he's so busy that I hate it. It especially sucks cause while time flies away for him, it drags unbearably slow for me. We barely see each other on weeknights, and when we do he's so tired that he can barely keep up. He has Saturday half-day though, so weekends are definitely better. I got a tooth pulled out last Sunday, and I'm having one pulled out again today. Piece of cake, doesn't hurt a bit. What else to say... eh, I'm just rambling. I'll try to check up on your blogs later today, the real deal this time. I hope this dry season goes away soon, 'cause I don't like it one bit. I miss my usual zeal for blogging... haha. ZLOG. |
| A couple of days ago our environmenatalists went ballistic when they discovered that a ship-full of Japan's garbage had arrived here in our country. The wastes included tissue papers, diapers, sanitary napkins and such. Totally disgusting. It caused such a turmoil among the environmentalists that the ship had to go back. Good, right? Well, I was eating dinner tonight while the TV was turned on to the evening news, and I heard the most unbelievable thing. Our president signed this agreement with Japan where it allows Japan's garbage to be dumped here in our country. Arroyo says that 'it's a good agreement', for in exchange Japan has agreed to accept more of our nurses and entertainers. I don't know about everybody else but I am disgusted by this decision. We can barely keep up with our own garbage, and now Arroyo has to bring more of them in? What does she think of the Phi, a huge garbage can??? I am not proud of this, but garbage is notorious in the city of Manila. Let me share a few paragraphs from one of my favorite books with you, translated, of course. Bob Ong's "Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?" ("Why do Filipinos read books upside down?") "Manila (Metro Manila) is one of the dirtiest cities in the world," he told me. The things he said were like music to my ears that I almost threw him out of the car. But the kick of the truth was stronger. The place really was dirty. "And it stinks, too!" my boss added. The view was pretty on our travel. Children with no underwear with flies on their faces. Shirtless guys with their bodies skinny and weak from illegal drugs. Ladies busy breast-feeding their ten children. The tenements were pretty cool, too. In the distance it looked like a rectangular Smokey Mountain. Close-up it looked like a nightmare. That was the view on our left. I wanted to cover my boss' face so he couldn't see the view on our right, where there were many more Philippine scars, but he did: garbage, houses, and children that you couldn't tell apart from the thick smoke coming out of the vehicles. My boss had many more comments, and the only thing left for me to say was, "Well, what do you expect from a third-world country?" My hands were up—I was defeated. All arrogance evaporated on my part. We have a lovely country, but it has tons of problems and ugly realities. I don't know if the president is blind to all of this, or if she's just in a state of denial. She keeps saying that the Phi is on take-off and everything is bright and beautiful, but even if it IS bright and beautiful, how can it remain so if we start taking in other countries' garbage? I may be overreacting—but I don't know, I'm just disgusted. |
| Me: Have I ever told you about the first time I was kissed? Him: What! Who kissed you first??!  I've known Ramon for so long, that it just makes me smile wryly and think it weird that I finally got to have such strong feelings for him. And for a moment today I worried, worried that one of these days, he'll lose interest. I don't know what made me think that, but I did. Yesterday he was driving and I was beside him, and then he took my hand. For some reason it was sweating like mad, but he didn't mind. He just held it, squeezing and playing with it occasionally, and didn't let go even though it was difficult cause we drive stick shifts. He had to use his left hand for both the wheel and the gear, and you can just imagine how silly that was. He drove like that all the way, though. I kissed his hand and he smiled. I thought about that, and the worries just flew out the window. I am a HUGE sap, I know. But I don't care. |
| A couple of days ago I heard from my friend Kuku that a batchmate of ours from high school passed away. Her name was Kristine Fajardo, and she died from leukemia. I was shocked—21 is a really young age to die. I never really knew her personally; I doubt it if we ever even talked back then. We ran in different crowds, she was in section 1, I was in the 3rd. She was small, quiet, and from what I heard, really smart and shy. I'm sure she's really nice, though. I admit that when Kuku told me all about it, the question I asked was, "Kristine who?" but gradually my memory kicked in. Soc was over here yesterday and asked me if I knew her, cause Kuku's telling everyone that we should go to the final night of her wake at 8pm tonight. I told Soc that I never really knew her, and he admittedly said that he doesn't even remember her, but was thinking of going to her wake, too. The thing that bothers me is whether I should go or not. I don't know if Kuku was ever friends with Kristine, cause believe me, he wasn't the type to hang out with her crowd back then. He was like the social ringleader and perpetrator of all pranks, and Kristine's the honor student type, so I doubt that they were ever friends. Don't get me wrong, I think it's nice that Kuku's really making an effort to contact everyone to get them to come, but I sorta know his motive behind it. He just wants a grand inuman after the wake, kinda like a reunion, though I'm not judging my friend. I'm sure that in his heart he wants to say good-bye, too. It's weird... it seemed like yesterday, we were all sixteen. Young, careless, obnoxious, and dumb. We would have the biggest spot at the cafeteria, eating, laughing, goofing around. We never would have considered talking to Kristine everytime she passed by. We never even tried to get to know her. It's such a waste, considering the fact that we could've been able to know this person if only we tried. I don't know, I'm just exremely saddened upon the loss of someone so young. It's also a reminder that nothing is ever sure—death can come to anyone, even to the youngest and strongest people out there. When you really come to think of it, our life here on this earth is only like a speck of dust compared to the length of eternity. Thank God that He has given us eternal life through Christ the Lord. You're not really ready to live until you're ready to die, that's what my dad always said. It's true. |
| I feel horrible. I haven't blogged in days and now I don't even have the time to read the rest of your stuff. But I promise I'll get to it! Maybe tomorrow night or something. Okay, so Saturday was the usual inuman or drinking night. It was a great night with friends, the whole night was a riot. My friend Malou took several pictures but I'm too embarrassed to share them, I looked so stupid in the shots. Like I was stoned or something, and believe me, I do not do that. Sunday was our village fiesta. Lots of activities and stuff though I didn't participate in any. My dentist appointment is usually on Sundays so that's what I did that day. After that I was with Ramon the whole afternoon, driving everywhere. The evening procession took place at eight pm that night, that's where all the people walk around the whole village with candles and saints in caravans and stuff. Those who don't want to walk and hurt their feet just stand outside their homes to watch so basically, everybody's out in the streets. It's supposed to be really holy but eh, not really. I remember several past ones where my friends and I would stand in the corner watching the people, lights, and caravans walk by, and wait to see if there's anyone we know that's participating. Of course, there's always someone. We would yell and they would yell back and some would break away from the line to join us. It's pretty funny. It's tradition and religion, though. Mike and I were supposed to come but we were late; the procession already left when I was just about to go out. Shiela's still here, she's asleep upstairs right at the moment so I had this few precious minutes to blog. Last night we were at Soc's place, still flat broke but we make do with whatever we have. Sat in their garden set from five pm into the night, talking, laughing, smoking, jamming with the guits, it was really simple but it was great. Times with friends are so precious. I'm thumping my head though, cause I missed In Your Dirtiest Pants 's birthday last Sunday. I'm so sorry, sweetie! I can't visit your blog just yet but let me yell a big belated happy birthday!I received a couple of reviews today that wasn't so great, the dude or gal (haven't set his/her bioblock yet so I wouldn't know) rated me average stars on a couple of my non-fiction pieces just because he/she doesn't agree with the things I had to say. Totally sucks. I mean, give me more than your own opinion and cause - use because first before I accept those stars fully. Whatever, man. And Z.˚rz , thank you again. You're a great friend, your mail almost made up for those annoying reviews. Almost. |
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