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 |  Here's to bloggin' around the block--one word at a time. |
| I’m watching Cold Case. It’s a rerun, but one I haven’t seen. I’m writing this during the commercials. I always mute them anyway. This episode begins in a roller skating rink in 1978. I haven’t been skating in years. When I think of it I hear the Village People singing YMCA. Can’t beat the Village People for rink music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k That reminds me. Have you ever seen that movie The Full Monty ? I haven’t watched it for years, but this was one of my favorite scenes. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1jn4c_the-full-monty-peter-cattaneo-1997_fun I have no idea why my mind has gone in this direction. I’m going to stop writing now. |
| …choose her on a Saturday – Benjamin Franklin I have no idea why he says that, do you? Okay, since I have it on good authority that it’s perfectly acceptable [not cheating] to have jokes as my blog entry, I spent a little time online finding these. Hope you like them. **** On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?" **** A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee. On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone: "Get me a coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responds, "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No," replied the trainee. "It's the CEO of the company, you fool!" The trainee shouts back, "And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!" "No." replied the CEO indignantly. "Good!" replied the trainee, and puts down the phone. **** A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. "What the heck did you do that for?!" the man screams. "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?" The man says, "No I don't, you IDIOT...but my wife out in the car still does!" **** As a pre-med student, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" "To save lives." The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school," replied the professor. **** |
| to a blue blogging month! Every day so far I've managed to put something here, even if it wasn't original. Some days it was quite a struggle, but it's been good for me so far. I'm actually beginning to feel a little more creative. In light of that, here is another lazy entry - more jokes I found on the internet. Stop me if you've already heard them.  Happy Friday!******* This guy's wife asks, "Honey, if I died would you remarry?" and he replies, "Well, after a considerable period of grieving, we all need companionship, so I guess I would." She then asks, "If I died and you remarried, would she live in this house?" and he replies, "We've spent a lot of time and money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house, so I guess she would." "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, would she sleep in our bed?" and he says, "That bed is brand new. We just paid two thousand dollars for it, and it's going to last a long time, so I guess she would." So she asks, "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?" "Oh no, she's left handed." ****** One day, a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying: "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test...and $64 change! |
| This may or may not surprise you, but my name isn’t really Paige Turner. I picked it for a reason, since this is a writing site. But I kind of like having an alias, and I like having a name people usually spell correctly. My last name is Miller. That’s easy enough. My given name, though, is Stefanie – with an F. It’s not that unusual of a spelling nowadays but it was pretty uncommon when I was growing up. Everyone wanted to spell it with a PH. Many still do. I can’t remember how many documents I’ve had corrected – like my high school diploma - and sometimes I don’t even bother. It’s spelled wrong on my marriage certificate. I’ve actually been standing in front of someone at a registration desk, spelling it out for them, and watched them go ahead and write it with a PH. I’m used to it by now, but it still bothers me more than I wish it did. I suppose if it didn’t bother me at all it might stop happening. You know. The law of attraction thing. And then there are those people who can’t pronounce it. In grade school we had a substitute teacher who knew me from church. She insisted on calling me STEF uh nuh. She made me want to crawl under the chair. The other day the scheduler in the doctor’s office called me Stuh FAH nee. Jack told me someone on the phone asked for STEF uh feen. And if this all isn’t bad enough, my parents insisted that my nickname would be Stevie. My sister is Denise called Dennie. When we were young and our parents would talk about us, people would say “Oh, you have two boys, too?” When I was growing up there was no such thing as co-ed physical education classes. Yes, that dates me. Come to think of it, it may date me that we even had PE at all. Anyway, nearly every year on the first day of school some boy would tell me the coach had called my name in the boy’s gym class. At the time we hadn’t heard of Stevie Nicks, but kids (meaning boys) used to call me Stevie Wonder. I loved new introductions, too. “What was that?” or “Stevie?” “That’s a boy’s name.” Thank you. I didn’t know that. I’ve tried at different times to just go by Stefanie, but it doesn’t last. Now I use Stefanie in more formal situations, but most people call me Stevie. A few call me Stef and one man I know calls me Step. Sometimes I introduce myself using both names – I’m Stefanie Miller, Stevie – although I’m sure some people think “make up your mind.” It’s always been a bigger deal than it needs to be. And that’s why it’s kind of nice to go by Paige Turner. |
Today Jack and I spent the day in the park where we were married. It’s also the park where we had our first picnic together. It’s several acres of woods and hills and we always feel better after we’ve been there. (We didn’t take the camera today, though.) On our walk we saw four young deer, two that were descending a very steep incline. In one of the ponds we spotted two painted turtles sunning on a log, listened to the frogs click and a red winged blackbird sing. At the nature center we said hello to Kitty, the red tailed hawk they rescued and keep in a large pen. She had a new pal, a big red-faced turkey vulture. Homely thing, but an important species to help clean up the dead animals. On the way home from the park we stopped at the garden shop for potting soil. We bought salvia (Lady in Red) and some snapdragons to attract the hummingbirds to our patio. It was a lovely day. Nature never goes out of style. |
“Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.” …or the model plane falling from the sky ("Invalid Entry"  )I had a phone message from Jack about noon that the plane flew great. When he walked in a few hours later he said, “I need some comfort food tonight.” Yes, they couldn’t leave well enough alone. They had to go out and fly it again. Son had to get fancy, doing loops, and the pressure broke the wings. The plane in pieces is a sorry sight. I don’t think they’ll be able to repair it. The good news is I now have pictures of the plane in flight and I’ll post them when I get a chance. And Jack’s not as upset as I thought he would be. He’s looking on the bright side of how much he learned while putting it together and how well it flew. And they still have the other one – the first one that took a nosedive. The propeller is fixed so it may be ready to fly again soon. (I’ll let you know how that one goes.) We’re getting Italian carry-out for our comfort food. And today’s our 13th wedding anniversary (six days from the 13th "Invalid Entry" ) |
| Give me a laundry-list and I'll set it to music. Gioacchino Rossini Here’s my laundry list of five. Maybe alfred booth, wanbli ska  will set it to music for me??  1. Thanks for all the great comments in my “offending” entry from Saturday! I know I block myself when I start worrying too much about readers and not enough about writing honestly. I’ve lapsed into that mindset more than once, and I’m sure I’ll do it again. For now, though, I feel a little freer. Maybe I broke something loose. 2. Jack’s dad called early yesterday morning to tell us to stop at MCL and pick up lunch. It was “ham day.” It’s not exactly on the way, and there are other places we could have gone. When we got there it wasn’t “ham day” after all. Anyway, Jack picked up whatever the special was, and when we got there Pop said he that was fine but to put it in the oven for supper. He wanted a bowl of soup for lunch. It was pretty typical so we weren’t surprised. It’s pretty obvious he’s winding down. If he makes it he’ll be 97 in July, but we’ll just have to wait and see. 3. Are you worrying about not publishing that best-seller yet? I read that about a dozen of the annual best-selling novels of the past 50 years were created by American authors in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. And some of them only turned to writing after other careers. James Michener published four sprawlers beginning in his late 50s; Katherine Ann Porter was 72 when she wrote Ship of Fools; and Alexandra Ripley was 67 when Scarlett,her officially sanctioned sequel to Gone With the Wind came out. The critics may have panned it but Warner Bros. paid $4.94 million for it. 4. I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that read: “Watch Out. I’m as bad a driver as you are.” Speaking of bad drivers, our state passed a law that anyone under 18 cannot talk on the cell phone while driving. When the newspaper interviewed kids who don’t even drive yet, they said they’re planning on ignoring it. 5. Now about that airplane entry from Sunday.  I forgot to mention that the flight was very short and our poor DIL forgot to take any pictures while she was holding her breath. I’m sure we’ll have some great shots eventually. “For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.” |
Today is Frisbee Pie Plate Day In 1873, William Russell Frisbie began to sell pies baked in pie tins embossed with his last name. Years later in the 1940's, students at nearby Yale University began to use the pie tins to toss around, thereby inventing the game of frisbee. Ingenuity at its best! Earlier I wrote about Jack and his son's passion for model airplanes and the luck they've had flying in "Invalid Entry" After their last experience, they decided to practice on a lighter plane with a bigger wing span before trying the first one again. After weeks of careful work, several trips to the hobby shop for parts or advice, and a few small fits of temper, Jack had the plane together. Today was the day they decided to try her out. It was pretty windy, but of course that didn't deter them. Our daughter-in-law and I went along. She had the camera ready. They started the engine and the plane took off, climbing high into the sky and sailing out across the field of tall grass. When Jack's son said, "Aw-Oh!" we all held our breath. He couldn't control it so he shut off the propeller and let it glide until he was able to turn it. He brought it in for a landing, unhurt, after a small bounce. Whew! After a couple of adjustments they're trying again on Tuesday. They're pretty excited. I'm just relieved the plane is still in one piece. "You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event -- it is a habit." -- Aristotle |
| …, there's little point in writing. Kingsley Amis I realized part of the reason I’m having so much trouble blogging every day is I’ve started worrying too much about offending someone. That’s a sure prescription for paralysis. So, today I intend to write a real entry, an honest entry because: 1. I’m obviously taking myself too seriously. 2. I don’t want to relapse into the codependent crazies. 3. It’s the weekend and traffic is light here. 4. Hey, my real name’s not even Paige Turner. Why in the world am I worried? So, at the risk of offending darn near everyone who happens on to this, here goes: I’m a shy introvert (who can occasionally get mouthy) and nonstop talkers make me nervous; I like bald men without toupees (guess who’s married to one); I refuse to color my hair (anymore); I don’t drink (because I don’t like it anymore); I don’t smoke (and never started) and can’t physically tolerate second hand smoke; I hate shopping, although it is easier if I’m using someone else’s money (meaning tightwad). That was just a warm up. Here’s the real stuff. I’m a political lefty (angry at both parties); a religious agnostic and freethinker (and perfectly comfortable with it); and I’m not fond of cats (they’re sneaky and try to kill our chipmunks). Still reading? Well, I love to watch and hear our President speak! (No, I never liked Bush, and no I don’t agree with Obama on everything, but that’s not what this is about.) I watched his speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner and laughed out loud at most of his irreverent jokes. Here’s a sample: David Axelrod is here. We’ve been together a long time. I can still remember when I called Ax a few years ago and said, “You and I can do wonderful things together.” And he said to me the same thing that partners across America are saying to one another right now: “Let’s go to Iowa and make it official.” Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. This is a tough holiday for Rahm. He’s not used to saying the word “day” after “mother.” In the next hundred days, our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat. After all, we have a lot in common. He is a person of color. Although not a color that appears in the natural world. …Whazzup John? Jokes aren’t funny if you have to explain them, so if none of these make sense to you… maybe you’re lucky. Too much politics can make you squirrely. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss |
| ...Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey Being lazy again. Here are a few jokes I found on the internet. (Where else?) The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary asked. "Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?" "Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. "Thanks, but where do the copies come out?" ******* Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of Stanford, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years--say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it." ******** Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches. **** Have a nice weekend! |
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So glad to see your blog again, and I like the idea of a 'new' Clean Slate. I may just do that myself! I look forward to reading more from you! 
