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Somedays I write about all I give to life, other days I write about nothing in particular. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I am still all the things I was before, in "Invalid Item"  , only now I'd like to think I'm better at this journaling thing. I guess we'll see.Here goes nothing.... If you want to read this journal/blog in its entirety, you'll have to be a member, as I have a lot of the meaty entries set to members and above. |
| I don't ever remember thinking that any of the childhood figures for various holidays were real. I feel like I've always just know that my parents were Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy all rolled into one. Sure, they would give the allusion that they were real, by signing cards from Santa or putting money under our pillow in return for a tooth, but the wrapping paper was always the same as Mom & Dad's and we knew where Dad kept all our teeth, anyway. I never felt fooled or even deprived by the knowledge, though. My parents tried really hard to make sure we knew the real reasons for certian celebrations, but still keeping fun, and I want to be that way with my kids. I will not jump through any hoops to convince my kids that Santa is real, because he isn't, at least in the red & white outfit and reindeer kind of way. I want my kids to know how we can all be giving and how that makes the season meaningful. I want my kids to know its just a big glorified birthday party for Jesus. I will also not make my kids hunt for their Easter goodies, unless of course, they ask for it. Just like when I was a kid, their basket will be waiting intact for them in the living room on Easter morning, and inside it will be some candy, but other non-edible items, too. And we'll go to church on Easter like we do every Sunday and they'll know that Easter isn't about some giant bunny, but about celebrating the resurrection. So yeah, there are some weird things when it comes to having kids and doing the holidays, but it doesn't have to be weird for them, its all in how we, as parents, present things. A response to "Invalid Entry" for "Invalid Item" |
| Who I am (right nowbecause even two weeks ago my answer would've been different): I am a mom who is trying to be my best for the sake of my daughters. I am a wife, blessed to be married to the perfect man for me but also fighting to make sure he knows how appreciated he really is. I am creative and thoughtful. I express myself better through pen and paper than by speech, and I have been surprised to discover I am a runner. I do not give up easily but I miss the mark so many times, so I'm grateful that I'm loved and forgiven. I am one of a kind. A response to "Invalid Entry" for "Invalid Item" |
| I think that it is really hard not to appear to have double standards when you are a parent. Usually, we want our kids to be happy and healthy, so we set rules & guidelines to try to help keep them that way, or to at least minimize the damage they'll do to themselves. A lot of the time those guidelines are based on the lessons we learned from our own mistakes and screw ups of our youth. So, my daughters will be held to rules like: no drinking or partying, no drugs, no smoking, no swearing and no premarital sex. And unfortunately, I know there will come the day when I hear something like, "But you did it when you were my age". And I'll have to agree, that yes I did indeed break all my own rules at one time or another, which is why they are my rules. I made all those mistakes and I learned from them, but my hope is that my daughters can learn from my mistakes and in the process not make all those mistakes themselves. I'd love to save them the pain, heartache and general crap that comes along with screwing up. I know those are grand hopes and that the reality is that they'll make all their own mistakes and poor choices-- I really do think that is how we learn the best--but as a mom, I've got to do all I can to help them avoid that if at all possible. Or maybe it just helps me worry less to hold onto that hope. Since I can't keep them from doing their own thing and learning from their own mistakes, at the very least, I can hope that they'll learn from me that there is forgiveness and love for them even when they do screw up. A response to "Double Standards" for "Invalid Item" |
Well, considering that I only do this contest because I enjoy it and not because I have any chance in heck of ever winning, so I'm just going to write what I want to as a response to Problematic Content  's leading entry.  I love the Olive Garden. We don't have one here, so I've only eaten there when I've been traveling and happen to be in a town that has one. I've never had a bad experience there. The breadsticks have always been warm and tasty, the salad crisp & fresh, and the pasta, delicious. The only complaint I'd have is that the bathrooms are usually really hot, but so are dressing rooms usually, so I just take in in stride and chalk it up to people with cold butts. A response to "Invalid Entry" for "Invalid Item" . |
Reasons why I  my home: I can look out any window, whether its at work, home or my car and I see mountains. They surround my town like huge protecting arms. Their vegetation provides beauty for my eyes and their trails provide endless recreaation opportunities. Almost everywhere I go, I will run into someone I know. The folks that work at the grocery store I frequent know me and my daughters and go out of their way to help us and make us feel welcome. People smile at each other when they are out and about the town. Neighbors and friends wave as they drive by. Our weather changes, the seasons are distinctly different from one another. You never know what the day will bring weather-wise. On a good day, I can drive across town in 20 minutes. On a bad day it might take an hour, but that doesn't happen too often. I am a minimum of 5 minutes and a maximum of 2 hours away from my or Erik's parents and the girls' grandparents. There is always something going on for entertainment and there are a ton of really great places to eat. I can let the girls play out in the front yard without watching them every second or being out there with them. Between living in a cul de sac and having neighbors who love them, they are very safe and protected. I can watch wildlife like deer and hawks from my living room window. Almost all the people I love live here, too. And the ones that don't aren't too far away. A response to "Invalid Entry" for "Invalid Item" . |
| Erik is gone this week, leaving me to experience what a typical single mom's life would be like for a week. I can usually handle it without much problem. Having Erik gone is sort of like having the biggest kid gone, and so life in the house is much more calm, though far from peaceful. Which brings me to the first real catch to this single parenting thing--the girls fight all the time. I dont know if its their ages, or what, but in the last couple weeks, they have discovered how to argue and fight like typical siblings. THey'll get along for awhile, but then when they want the toy the other one has, or if the other one doesn't do what they are being told to, I start to hear squeals, screeches and general anarchy. When Erik is here to help me with that, it is so much easier. Being the only parent this week has felt kind like me against the mob. It's been tiring (and its only Wednesday!). So I talked to his parents and convinced them to take the girls up to their house on Friday and I'll pick them up on Sunday. I thought if I could make it through this week, and then have almost 2 full days of peace & quiet, that I'd be okay, it would work out. Until 2 am last night. Kera crawled into my bed, complained about a "belly sick" and writhed for about an hour before she threw up all over Erik's side of the bed. I am grateful that I was quick enough after the first puking noise, to pull back the down comforter so that she'd just puke on the sheets. So that let to a middle of the night load of laundry and trying to get her settled to go back to sleep. I dont know if she really ever did, she kept calling me from her bed at regular intervals to "be done". I may have gotten an hour here & there of sleep after that. So, I'm tired, really tired. And Kera's tired, too. Which makes for a grumpy mom and a whiny kid who is liable to puke at any moment. She's eating a few goldfish crackers right now (I tried the whole BRAT thing, but she only wanted goldfish and I just dont have the energy to fight her) so we'll see what happens to those suckers. Oh vey, today is bound to be a long one. |
like an angel she fell asleep right away yesterday and woke up happy. Having kids keeps you on your toes! |
| I need to vent, or something. I just spent a good portion of 2 hours getting Kera to take a nap. It shouldn't take all freakin' day to get your 2.5 yr old to take a nap!  I just don't know what to do with her. We have the same before bed routine for both nap & bed time, but the nap one just doesn't work. She goes to sleep no problem at night, once in a while will ask for one of us tocome back in to get her water or something we may have forgotten, but afterwards she settles in and falls asleep on her own. Naptime is a different story. Up until about a week ago I was having to rock her fully to sleep at naptime in order to ensure she would actually go to sleep. If I put her in bed awake, she'd just roll around, talking & singing for hours and then tell me it was time to wake up. But, if I kept rocking her, she'd eventually fall asleep in my arms and I could put her in bed asleep and she'd sleep for 1.5 hrs and the rocking only took 20 to 30 minutes, so I figured it was a valuable sacrifice. But then last week I decided I didn't want to have to rock her to sleep every single time, that it would be good to teach her how to go to sleep in a timely manner at naptime. At about the same time she decided she didn't want to be rocked to sleep anymore either, so that was okay. But she won't go to sleep! I've tried sitting there quietly by the bed to keep her calm, I've tried tickling her belly, back or arm, and I've tried leaving her to her own devices, but then going back in eveyr 5-10 mintues to reinforce the idea of being quiet and going to sleep. SInce she doesn't nap at our house eveyday, I've only had to try it a couple times, but each time she did eventually fall asleep. So I thought "maybe we're making progress". Until today. Today, I kept going back in to no avail. She was loud. She was changing blankets, she was taking off her clothes, she was saying "I want to go poop in the potty" (which we tried twice, with no results) and she was crying. Two hours after I intially tucked her in, I finally resorted to rocking a crying girl til she stopped crying and fell asleep with that "I just cried really hard" breathing/hiccups. It totally sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont know what to try with her or if today was a fluke or what. I dont enjoy motherhood when its a battle like this, makes me feel like the total bad guy. I so badly wanted to give in and just let her go outside to play with her sister, but I knew if I did she'd know she was getting her way, and also because she kept acting tired, so I knew she really needed a nap. So, fellow moms, any tips on getting an almost 3 yr old to nap when her big sister is past that stage and is off doing fun things like playing? If I have to go through another today, I may end up pulling my hair out! Other than that, things are good. |
| alive kicking breathing working cleaning laundering typing reading bathing cooking dieting running watching poem writing (a little) just not blogging. |
in saying "what the heck, I'll go for it" and check this out:
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And just when I had my hopes up after seeing 
