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Somedays I write about all I give to life, other days I write about nothing in particular. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I am still all the things I was before, in "Invalid Item"  , only now I'd like to think I'm better at this journaling thing. I guess we'll see.Here goes nothing.... If you want to read this journal/blog in its entirety, you'll have to be a member, as I have a lot of the meaty entries set to members and above. |
Heroes. I've always gravitated towards characters, in movies or books, that can save the day, especially when that person is a woman. Even my own first try at a longer piece of fiction centered on a woman who is destined to save her world. I'm not going to analyze why it is that I love the heroine as opposed to the "typical" male hero (i.e. superman, spiderman, etc)but I will share with you a few of my favorites.  - In the Lord of the Ring series, there is Eowyn. At first she seems "typical"--she falls in love with Aragorn at first sight and dresses in beautiful dresses. But then when it's time to fight, she shows us that she is more than a pretty face. One of my favorite parts is when she slays the Nazgul--something that was said that a man couldn't kill.  - One of my favorite books is "Gone with the Wind". There was just something about the southern lifestyle and the "piss & vinegar" in Scarlet O'Hara. She was a beautiful, graceful & smart woman. She wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted, but she was also tough. SHe got through that fire, helping Melanie give birth and all that drought & hard times at Tara--that was impressive to me. - Remember the Alien movies? All that slime and those tough, merciless aliens bursting out of everyones chests? They are some of my favorite movies. What I liked best, is of course, the tough gal, Ripley, played by Sigourney Weaver. She's so tough that she comes face to face with those horrible aliens many times but then keeps on coming for four movies! Pretty tough chics, huh? Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I thought so.  An entry for "Invalid Item" |
| How could I, after only thirty years, have already done something that would claim this title? Sure, I've done some stupid things, but surely there are many more stupid things, possibly the stupidest, waiting out there for me to do at some time in the future. There are stupid things, and then there are regrets. I've got a lot of those. Even though they say that our past mistakes and life happenings make us who we are today, I can't help but wonder if I'd be a better person today without some of those things in my past. Would I be a better friend if I hadn't let all those friendships die from my stupidity or just plain selfishness? Would I be better off if I didn't have all those "what ifs" and "I wonders" about the crazy things I did in college? Would I be more grateful about my life now if I hadn't been given so much of it so early on? Would I be a better writer if I had continued on with my schooling? Would I be... An entry for "Invalid Item" |
| I grew up in a family of five --I was the oldest of 3 kids--in which road trips were our primary means of transportaiton for vacation. I don't think I even rode on an airplane until I was fourteen. This was of course back "in the day" when all parents didn't drive SUV's and portable DVD's were not standard issue. So us kids were left to entertain ourselves. I always got stuck sitting in the middle to keep the peace. We'd play that license plate game, trying to see plates from all the states. Then we'd play the alpaphabet game. We'd read or listen to our walkmans (no MP3's back then) and argue from one end of the state to the other. Where'd we go? Well, I think we hit every state historical landmark or site or national park within Montana at one point or another. We made the drive from Seattle area to MT many a times. We drove to Denver one winter. We've driven to a good majority of the towns in MT. Once I got to college we didn't do so many family trips, my brother and sister were just not "there". So I got the opportunity to take a couple trips with my parents just me. One year they drove from MT down to pick me up at college (near Boise, Idaho) and then we drove down to Scottsdale, Arizona for an early Christmas with my grandparents, with a night stopover in Las Vegas. Now that was a long drive! But it was peaceful having that backseat all to myself and not having to worry about driving any of it. Then another year, the summer after my college graduation, I joined them on a drive down to Kimball, Nebraska for my dad's all year high school reunion. That was another LONG drive! We drove down through South Dakota and the South Hills, stopping to see MT Rushmore and Crazy Horse Monument. And that is where I have one of my most specific vacation memories. If you've never been there, its a huge carving in the side of the hill of an Indian on his horse, but its not complete yet. They have a museum of sorts to show you the progress they've made and what it is suppose to look like when its finally done--if it ever is completed. I honestly don't remember the history behind it, but the carving is quite huge. Like I said, its in South Dakota, which in August is pretty hot and dry. We were walking through this "museum" when I felt a little twitch or movement in my hair. You know the feeling you get when someone is playing with your hair or you've got a bug in it? Yeah. So I flicked my hand back there thinking it was my Dad bugging me. My fingers brushed something large and hard and moving. Very quickly, I brushed my hand back there again, with more force and what flew out of my hair was a huge flying bug with long legs. I shivered--not the kind you get when your cold, but the "I'm totally grossed out and heeby-jeebied" kind of shiver that involves your whole body--and kind of screamed. A couple of people, including my parents saw the bug flying and commented on it, and a guy finally stepped on it. I was so grossed out I could hardly focus on anything else there. I kept touching the back of my hair and watching the sky to make sure I didn't get a repeat performance. It was so totally disgusting. And that is what I remember from that vacation! An entry for "Invalid Item" |
| There are a lot of cool & unique parts of being a parent, but I think the most interesting one is the actual naming of your child. Think about how important your name is. Sure, we name our pets, but thats not the same. Our pets don't really care what we call them, just as long as we call them. But our kids will care. They just might grow up correcting teacher after teacher in how to spell or pronounce their name, or fending off stupid teases from classmates based on their name or even initials. Unless they legaly change it, our kids will have the name we give them their whole life. So, when it came time to pick names for my girls, I put a lot of thought into it. I looked at baby name books. I ran through lists of relatives and friends. I checked and double checked initials and possible rhymes. Lindsay was easy to name, especially after we knew she was a girl. (Zach was our back-up boy name in case we had a surprise upon birth). I have an old (she's not old, our friendship is) friend named Lindsay, and for some reason it just sounded right. And, well, Erik liked it too, so that was a big part of it too. So, baby girl #1 would be Lindsay. Her middle name was easy, its mine. In her 4.5 years here, that name has seemed to be absolutely perfect for her, and she hasn't complained. Baby #2 wasn't quite so easy. It was like we'd used our girl name, and there wasn't another suitable one left. A small part of me hoped for a boy, just because we had a boy name ready. But then we had our ultrasound and determined baby #2 was indeed another girl. I started looking for names online and making lists to talk over with Erik. We didn't like any of the same names, at all. It was discouraging. Then, randomly, I saw the name Kara but changed the spelling a bit to "Kera", and presented it to Erik. He liked it and so we'd decided. Her middle name would be one of an old friend, too, but mostly cuz it sounded good. Months later Kera was born and her name trouble started. Unless someone hears us say her name first (and even then, sometimes), Kera becomes "kira". And for those who say her name right, they usually spell it "kara". Then there is our last name, commonly misspelled & mispronounced. It was even mispelled on her birth certificate! I just shake my head. She is a Kera, it fits her perfectly, I just wish it wasn't so difficult for people to know what I was thinking when it comes to pronouncing it! An entry for "Invalid Item" |
or "Things I Can't Get Through The Day Without" An entry for "Invalid Item" a picture story Each day I start with ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** in one hand and ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** in the other. If I get up early enough, I'll be able to don my ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** and run on my ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** and maybe even take a shower. Before my ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** wake up and direct my day. I might work a little, run some errands, or go to the park And I'll surely clean or cook something. Then its nap time. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** During which, I'll clean some more, or if I'm feeling especially fun, I'll venture downstairs to my ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** where sometimes Lindsay crafts along side of me while Kera naps. Once the girl(s) wake up, it's snack time, play time- including the little piggy game ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** or some other ticke/wrestle activity, and eventually dinner time. After dinner is bath and bedtime. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** (yes, again!) That's when I finally slip on my ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** and pull out a ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** and read til my eyes fall closed. |
| In "Invalid Entry" I set out a bunch of goals for 2006. And when I say "a bunch", I mean A BUNCH!. It was a little excessive, I'm thinking. Of the 18 (yes, you read that right, 18!) goals, I think I made 3 of them. That is better than making none of them, but just clarifies the whole thing for me: less is best. That way I can actually focus on meeting them and feeling successful. Not that this past year has been a total bust, its been a good one, with some of the highlights being...  Taking Lindsay to DisneyWorld in February. Seeing my sister in February when she came up for a surprise visit Going to the Idaho sand dunes with Erik to ride atv's for the first time Our Marriage Dynamics Class Mom adopting a new greyhound (although none will ever fully replace Kimba) Our trip to Reno to see Erik's sisters I did a few rounds of "Invalid Item" Weekends spent up at the lake, sailing & eating & fishing Visiting Sidney for opening of deer season Taking Lindsay to Cancunan entry for "Invalid Item" |
I'm a sickie today. Blech.  I hate throwing up and yet I got to do it last night in the middle of the night and through til morning. Aren't I lucky? THank goodness for parents who'll take kids and for laptops & couches to entertian the sickie. |
| I can imagine myself living in France. I love the idea of living next to a boulangerie--being able to smell fresh bread--it drawing me in to buy it each time I passed by. I can see myself sitting at a streetside cafe with a good cup of strong coffee & good conversation. I would love all the wonderful food & wine there, too. I'd definitely have to brush up on my French. Eh, I'd have to do more than brush up now that I think about it. I think I'd have to say, "Je ne parle pas francais" at this point, not that I ever really spoke it. Studying it for four years in school helped me learn a lot of it--I can recognize lots of words still--but I was never near being fluent. I had good intentions, though, I even asked for (and recieved) a bible in french for a high school graduation present. After studying about it for so long, I really did develop an interest in France. It is one of the top five places I want to travel to in my life. I think it would be really fascinating to see all that history & culture in one place. But back to le pain, my mouth waters just thinking about it, and being lunch time doesn't help! So, I think I'm going to go rummage something up for lunch. Bon appétit, tout le monde! An entry for "Invalid Item" |
| Up until last week when my mother-in-law bestowed upon me five hand me down knives I had one sharp knife. I got it from Pampered Chef a couple of months ago after I finally got tired of the complaints from other people cooking in my kitchen about how hard it was to cut with dull knives. It's a cool knife, "chef sized" and has its own handy holder which actually acts as a sharpener if you push on the black part. The first time I used it I realized how right everyone was, it IS easier to cut with a sharp knife! I was determined to take good care of it so that it would remain sharp and so I started a strict "no knives in the dishwasher" policy in which anyone found putting a knife in the dishwasher gets a "the look" from me as I pull it out and proceed to wash it by hand. I've been doing really well with my new knife until a couple of weeks ago. I was cutting an onion to put into the deer meat I was browning for tacos when the knife slipped and sliced into my index & middle finger. I felt the pain immediately and hurried to get my fingers under some cool running water. I peeked at it, and after seeing all the blood, I reached for a paper towel to cover the wound. Right about then Erik came home to find me hunched over the kitchen sink, whining & moaning as I alternated between water & paper towels. He got me out some spray and a bandaid and put it on my index finger which seemed to have the deepest cut. I braved another look at it, and I could see the blood oozing out of the cut and around the bandaid. I was suddenly very hot and light-headed so I laid down in the middle of the kitchen floor to watch Erik finish cooking dinner and Kera stand over my with a little worried look on her face until the bleeding had slowed and the heat dissapated. You see, the cut really was nothing--not too deep, pretty small and not really that bad, except for me. For some reason, I can handle cuts & scrapes on my kids, even on Erik. I can watch ER & CSI and eat popcorn at the same time, it doesn't bother me. But, when I look down at my own hand and see blood and feel pain (even if its only a little) I can't handle it, I get faint every time. (Don't ask me how I gave birth twice without losing it, maybe because I was doped up and not actually watching myself.) I still really like my knife, only I'm a little more careful with it, because not only does it cut food easier, it cuts skin easier, too! An entry for "Invalid Item" |
| Ever notice how different it is to be a child now as compared to 25 years ago? Erik is always bemoaning the fact that all the fun toys that he had as a kid aren't available anymore, like the nerf/dart guns that use to shoot hard-tipped "darts" as opposed to the darts nowadays that are all styrofoam and don't shoot worth beans. But the real deals could really hurt someone, so they are long gone. It's just too bad that kids have to suffer from the fears that all of us sue-happy adults have. They sure have it rough, don't they? Or do they? When you really look at it, kids nowadays have it easy. Remember having to take road trips with your family, three kids stuck side by side in the back seat? You'd play "the alphabet game" with license plates and "see who can be the quietest" for quarters in order to try keep from fighting and to pass the time. Now, us parents just plug in the portable DVD and play movie after movie to entertain the kids from the moment they get in the car until we reach our destination. If we're lucky, they'll use earphones and we don't even have to listen to their movies! Or think about their recreational transportation. Remember when there wasn't a choice--it was your bike or walking? And to make the bike sound motorized you'd use a wooden clothes pin to stick a playing card in the spokes? (Or at least, I would, maybe I was weird...  )Now they actually have motorized scooters or mini-cars and all sorts of things to choose from!Then there is the whole realm of communication. I remember having to share the home telephone with the rest of my family, talking to my friends in person or writing them notes (on lined notebook paper that I'd fold into all sorts of crazy designs) to pass in between classes. Now it seems like each kid (and I mean "kid") has his or her own cell phone! I'm sorry, but why would you need a cell phone when you're in school with your friends all day?  So it is funny, that we'd be so controlly about some things and then so lenient about other things. Can you imagine the kind of legal trouble a kid could get into with a motorized scooter and a cell phone?!  An entry for "Invalid Item" |
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