Well, sis, as you and I have talked about many times through the years, I always struggle with that same question. And I know the answer. I need to continually ask myself that simple question you used to title this entry..."Is it enough?" Usually, the answer is 'no'.
You have a right to express your faith and feelings in your blog and should not be afraid to do so, Opening ourselves up to possibilities in life and spirituality can only be a good thing in my humble opinion.
Andra, one is only a waste of space when he or she does nothing to help him/herself or anyone else, either. Of course you know you aren't. We all have those days.
I'm not making it to the 50k this year either, but I'm okay with getting as much done as I can. It really is a race with one's self and in the end if you end up with anything editable, well that's the prize.
hehe. Life with Budroe may be exhilarating or exasperating, but it is never, EVER boring! Sounds like you have been gifted in a like manner. Hang in there, it will pass. It always does. Thinking good thoughts, and sending them your way.
After seven days the Lord gave me a message. He said, “Son of man, I have appointed you as a watchman for Israel. Whenever you receive a message from me, warn people immediately. If I warn the wicked, saying, ‘You are under the penalty of death,’ but you fail to deliver the warning, they will die in their sins. And I will hold you responsible for their deaths. If you warn them and they refuse to repent and keep on sinning, they will die in their sins. But you will have saved yourself because you obeyed me.
“If righteous people turn away from their righteous behavior and ignore the obstacles I put in their way, they will die. And if you do not warn them, they will die in their sins. None of their righteous acts will be remembered, and I will hold you responsible for their deaths. But if you warn righteous people not to sin and they listen to you and do not sin, they will live, and you will have saved yourself, too.”
~ Ezekiel 3:16-20 (NLT)
I often wonder, especially of late, whether or not I could be compared to one who stays silent, but should be speaking out. By not talking about Jesus and my faith, am I not only ignoring God’s will, but dooming someone to never knowing God’s love and redemption?
Do I damn myself by keeping my mouth shut?
I have no answer, and that’s probably a good thing. I don’t think I want to know. However, I do hear the warning in Ezekiel’s words. I should assume they’re meant for me, because I know I’m not doing enough to shine God’s light in an ever darkening world.
How do I start, then?
By writing entries that reveal not only where my writing is going, but my spiritual growth (or non-growth) as well. Every time I have, while my words occasionally met with scoffers and cynics, for the most part they made a positive difference to someone.
I can’t take the credit; I merely opened myself up to the possibility and let God guide my steps.
My prayer for tonight is that I listens for God’s urgings, and follow through with every one. No more fear; no more silence.
When I went to Amazon yesterday, I saw that it’s #1 in sales rank. And it hasn’t even been released yet. I wasn’t remotely surprised.
What is it about Susan Boyle we all find fascinating? Why do we want to see her succeed?
Because she’s like every single one of us; a person with dreams as yet unfulfilled. We know what it means to be mocked and laughed at as she was before she started singing. With one note, she proved the cynics wrong. How many of us long to do the same?
She had a dream, practiced for over 35 years, took a chance, and fulfilled that dream.
Looks like I will be moving to the second round in the contest.
It's both a celebration point and a shrug.
First, the shrug: All the premises made it through to the second round. The publisher decided that some authors could have written a killer premise, but the entire manuscript may not live up to it. The reverse is also true. He felt it was only fair all should move to the 100-word blurb round.
The celebration point is even if the publisher decided not to go that route, my book would have made it.
I could email for how my book scored overall, but I'm a bit ambivalent about it. Do I really want to know how many votes it got? Could I take finding out I ended up near the bottom, barely scraping by?
At this point ignorance is bliss.
The fact I'm moving to the second round is good enough.
The voting for the contest my book is in began yesterday, and goes until Sunday. For more information check out http://wherethemapends.proboards.com/index.cgi? Click on Marcher Lord Select (the first sub-board listed). It will ask for a username and password, so if you haven't signed up for the boards yet, you can do it there.
You can vote for up to 20 in the main contest, and 25 in the premise contest (where my book is). I also recommend you check out the http://www.marcherlordpress.com/New_Store , especially if you enjoy Speculative Fiction with a Christian world view - or know someone who does. I've read three of MLP books, and was impressed with every one.
Posted: 11-13-2009 @ 10:49 pm EST Edited: 11-13-2009 @ 10:54 pm EST
feature coming soon!
Forget Friday the 13th. Let's go for Monday-Friday.
A single week when nothing seemed to go right.
I found an error with three plats I drew up -- after they were completed, signed by the owner and filed at the courthouse. Oi. How do I explain to the client that this will be the third (yes, third!) time they had to come in and sign their plats due to a mistake by yours truly?
So I stressed out about it Monday night to the point I couldn't sleep.
However, once I corrected the errors, I called them up and explained what happened. The were so gracious and understanding, I felt like crying in gratitude. Okay, maybe not to the point of tears, but I was grateful. I didn't deserve it, that's for sure. Ever feel like you're a waste of space? I sure did feel like it that day!
Then! I find out another plat may not go through because the newly appointed County Engineer doesn't want to sign it because it doesn't meet the County-Across-The-River's standards. Another two days of stressing, because should he decide not to sign, not only with the owner lose a sale, but the buyer will not make the January 1 deadline for First Time Homebuyers.
How do I explain to the client that I couldn't convince the Engineer we do it on this side of the river a bit differently?
So I lost sleep another day stressing about it.
Today I talked to said engineer and he decided to sign it.
Plus there were a bunch of other things to go wrong: My home internet modem crapped out, and my DSL provider drug (drug? Its feet are stoned? Let's go for dragged) its feet on sending it to me, and blamed the delivery company for the delay.
Then last night I couldn't get the new one to work, and spent over an hour on the phone with the technician, all the while trying to keep my little guy from screaming at me.
Oi.
I'm tired.
Good news, though. In the end everything turned out well, and perhaps I'm a little more patient for the next time things fall apart around me.
And! I'm taking the next week off. The entire week! Yay! My hubby is going on a hunting trip and I get to play full-time Mommy. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time, it won't be easy. Thomas is entering the Terrible Two stage with screaming and crying when he doesn't get his way.
Luckily the screeching is the limits of his tantrums.
We're also trying to teach him not to throw things unless we're ready for it, or hitting and kicking us or the dog. It's nothing vindictive, but typical boy behavior. Still, it's important he learns that to hit or kick others is mean and not appropriate behavior.
He's learning.
But I need to get back to my nano-novel. I'm pathetic at 6800 words, but I'll keep plugging away. I may not make 50k, but as long as I keep writing, I'm happy.
Travis Garrity felt the man's breath on his neck and tried not to cringe.
Did the self-appointed governor of this expedition have to eat so much garlic, and on top of that, stand within a half a meter with everyone he wanted to talk to?
"We're not there yet," Travis said for the nineteenth time today. He knew. He kept track.
Governor Isaac Johanna leaned over the console, his breath even more pungent, and said, "You said it would be today, Garrity."
"And it will, but you hovering over me will not make this bucket go any faster."
Travis could feel Johanna's glare when he said, "This bucket has been your home all your life. Show some respect."
Home, Travis thought. More like a prison and the only way out was the vacuum of space. How could he respect that? Truth was, he was more eager to get to their destination than the governor, and most of the other colonists aboard this 70-year-old heap named "Red Dagger."
Red Dagger. What a name. Pink Rust Bucket was more apt in describing her.
Travis smirked and gave the pilot console a small caress. He did love her, even as he despised her. She brought them through many a hardship with few problems. She was well-built even if she was ugly.
This is how my latest nanowrimo novel begins. It's a prequel to my very first nano-novel entitled "Red Dagger." The first novel wasn't about the ship named in this one, but in fact takes place almost 600 years in the future.
Kinda fun not only coming up with a new story, but an entire universe.
But also daunting. So far I'm a bit slow in writing "Redarian." It's not because I'm not interested in the story, but I feel out of practice in writing over 1500 words a day. It's intimidating, because I've spent so much time lately editing. I keep wanting to either edit as I go, or stop to rephrase a word, paragraph and constantly ask myself, "Is this scene even necessary?"
Who cares!
The point is to write, and write anything. It's about volume, not quality. The fixing can come later.
So I best get to writing, even if it is total ick.
Posted: 11-1-2009 @ 3:31 pm EST Edited: 11-1-2009 @ 5:43 pm EST
feature coming soon!
The Marcher Lord Select contests officially started today!
It consists of two separate contests: the Main contest and Premise contest. Phase I for the main contest consists of the 20-word premise, 100-word blurb and a single-page synopsis. The winner of this contest will be published -- although the publisher, Jeff Gerke still makes the final decision.
Phase I of the Premise contest (where I'm an entrant) is the Title of the book and 20-word premise. The 20 stories with the most votes moves on to Phase II, with a total of four phases. For the winners of this contest, Jeff Gerke will read the entire manuscript and decide whether or not it will be published. There's no guarantee, but at least we're moved to the top of his reading list. For the ones who didn't win, they aren't immediately rejected; they'll just have to wait a little longer for that thirsted after "Send your entire manuscript."
I hope you'll participate in the contest as a voter. The more the merrier. The only caveat is you'll have to vote at least three times and you'll have to sign up as a member to the forum. Also, if you know anyone who might be interested, especially if they like science fiction and/or fantasy, please send them over as well.
When a child grows up and you see him, or her, leaving you behind, it's a bitter-sweet sensation. You watch after him, hoping you dressed him cool enough or warm enough. Did you teach him all he needs to know about surviving, such as looking both ways to cross the street, not talking to strangers, and a million other pieces of advice?
How we feel about our writing is not much different. We hope and pray with every query, proposal and entire manuscript submission that our literary child is ready for the world.
Yesterday I received a blanket email from Marcher Lord Press. It asked if I had turned in my premise yet as only five days remained. He noted only seven had sent theirs in. Good for me if it stays at that number, because my chances just jumped to 8:1 instead of 40:1.
I'm not counting my fingers just yet, though. I was waiting until the last minute so I could spend more time preparing my little premise who I'm still not sure is ready.
Good thing the publisher sent the email and I read the whole thing through. It turns out that even though my story is entered into the premise contest, I still need to send a 100-word teaser, 1-page synopsis (not giving away the ending), and the first 500 words.
Oh.
Now I'm really glad I waited, otherwise I would have sent my 20-word premise and nothing else.
I sent my proposal out into the big-bad scary world today.
When Thomas gets frustrated with a toy not assembling the way he expects it to, he either pounds on it, tosses it across the room, or he stares at me and groans as if demanding I fix it for him.
Quite calmly I say, "Just walk away, honey. You'll figure it out eventually."
Whether or not he understands the concept is doubtful, but he does listen enough to walk away. Sometimes. The rest of the time I have to take it away and distract him with something else.
He takes after me, poor fella.
Now if only I would take my own advice more often.
Last night my single braincell told me to leave the premise alone. I didn't want to, so it distracted me with the desire to play with and upload more photos into my flickr album.
Two hours later and happily forgetful of my premise I went to bed. Not ten minutes later, I had it! I knew how to word my premise. Well, the first dozen words anyway.
With my still fully-functional braincell, I jumped out of bed, ran to the living room (okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration) and grabbed a notebook, booklight and pen. I returned to bed and wrote down my premise. I left the notebook et al by my pillow just in case another aha! moment struck me.
It didn't, but no matter. I figured out the hardest part of my premise. The rest could wait until the morning.
An hour ago I finished it up, using only 2 pages of notebook paper to get there.
It is now in the hands of two fellow writers who volunteered to bleed on it for me.
I changed my mind about posting it here, because if it's to get any votes in the contest, I want it on merit alone. Will that hurt my chances? Probably. But if my premise gets me into the second round or higher, I'll know the words alone got me there.
You would think after working eight years on a book, I would have such a good grasp of the concept along with the story, characters, et al, writing a 20-word premise could be a snap.
Sure, if writing and deleting every word for 47 hours, 20 cups of coffee, a sore scalp from pulling out all my hair, and cracked fingernails from pounding on my computer keys in teary-eyed frustration is considered a snap (long enough sentences there, for ya?).
Okay, it's not that bad. But boiling down a 100k story into so few words is a challenge this lady doesn't feel qualified to accomplish. At least not enough to make a bunch of people say, "Wow! I wanna read that book!"
Yes, this is a temper tantrum. No, I'm not giving up. Sometimes plopping down on the floor and screaming my head off helps to purge all the negative thoughts and feelings.
*plops down on floor and screams into pillow*
There. I feel better now. My apologies if my mental flailing hurt your eyes or emotional stability.
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