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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books.php/item_id/1273960-The-Secret-Life-of-Sesheta/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/10
Rated: 18+ · Book · None · #1273960
Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the shuffle around here ...
Best quote to describe me (Anonymous): "Do not think you are on the right road, simply because it is a well-beaten path."

I am what I am. Learn to live with it. And realize that comment is as much directed to myself as any reader who ventures here.

Tempest arrived 31 March 2009 - changing everything, but she's pretty awesome. Dogbert arrived 13 January 2012 and is working on making the rules change again. I have two writing personas, Ransom Noble and Sheta Storm. Each has goals, and I work on them slowly. Both are published, and will continue to strive toward bigger and better things.

I finally figured out how to describe myself in three words: Creative, Determined, Ambitious. It doesn't have anything to do with how I relate to others, but I do use all of those in my many relationships as well as my career goals. I know others use words sometimes like "kind" or "caring" but I think that list is the most accurate if only using three words.

Cast...
Sesheta: Me
Dilbert: My Husband
Tempest: My Darling Daughter
Dogbert: My Hungry Son
Sheer, Nemo, EyeKandy(K), Diego: Friends/Brothers
Sugar, Wolvenwings, Mrs. Light, Jori, Trillium (others will be added): Friends
It's a start, anyway.

Off-Site Blogs:
http://ransomnoble.wordpress.com/
http://sheta-storm.blogspot.com/

Upcoming Events:
Beaverdale Books signing for Art of Science - TBD

Other Items about Me:
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"Failing is a part of success. To make goals effective, you have to fail at them 50 percent of the time, or they didn't stretch you far enough." Chip Wilson, courtesy of an article by Ella Lawrence called Set Your Course from Yoga Journal
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September 3, 2012 at 11:09pm
September 3, 2012 at 11:09pm
#759962
Sheer and Doc came over, which was SO NICE to see somebody. While Sheer and Dilbert talked a lot of football, the doc and I managed to have a conversation outside that. Plus we got to watch a movie, and the girls took the choice for a romantic comedy. *Heart*

Of course, it cut into my editing time, but I got through about half of Chapter 3 anyway. I wouldn't have felt right without trying something, and i'd managed my 750 earlier in the day. Whew.

Tempest was nuts tonight. She didn't actually go to bed (without the screaming) until 9:30. And to think, tomorrow's her first day of preschool. Yikes! Deep breath. we can do this. Dogbert was easier, though he was very vocal today, too, at different times. Chatted briefly with Mrs. Light and promised to talk again wed when the kids got to be too much. Tried explaining positional concepts to Tempest again, with little results. I need a list again for this week.

At least I emailed my parents that we'd visit saturday instead of Friday. I have plans Friday. (Even if they're just to be doing stuff at home. Sheesh. I have to find more reasons they can't hold me hostage. I know, I don't have to go. Dilbert even reminds me. But... I also don't want to hear all about how I'm withholding the grandchildren. Blah. People can really suck.)

And I love that I give BrandiwynšŸŽ¶ some fun ideas for October Prep!
September 2, 2012 at 11:04pm
September 2, 2012 at 11:04pm
#759900
And chapter 2 looks done... Maybe. I vanquished all the comments except for one about describing the food [the guy who said that is such a foodie from his writing - but that might really help Ethan], plus two (one that I had to put in today because of the comments) so down to 5 in chapter 1.

whoa. Complicated sentence. Don't let me put those in the novel. netting 6 unresolved comments yesterday, still at 6 unresolved comments at the end of today. I suppose that's a good thing!

Had a migraine most of the day, and I feel bad that it's finally lifting when the kids are in bed. I also managed 1100 words for my 750 today - all for prep for a novel. I can't seem to focus on just one, so it seems like I'm switching between Firstborn and TNJ [The Next Jane] every day. Ah well.

Nothing else really got done. Except for breakfast, and baths for kids, the usual stuff. Still working on Inheritance. The book still makes me cringe, yet I keep reading it because I am interested in the overall plot despite wanting to kick Eragon half the time or kick Paolini for the cumbersome words. And hoping, above all, that I don't make the same mistakes. I want to make completely different mistakes!!!

Ideally, of course, I'd figure everything out, but sometimes I try to admit I'm only human.
September 1, 2012 at 11:23pm
September 1, 2012 at 11:23pm
#759835
is lacking. Always lacking.

However, I did manage to resolve MOST of the comments I've received lately for DTYM for Chapter 1. I have 6 comments to myself that I might need to wait to resolve. Not too bad.

Goal? One chapter a day through September, to see if I can finish by October (but I might run over a little.)

Dilbert got me two rings and a pair of pearl earrings. Tempest tried to run off with my rings. Sheesh, girl!

We went to a birthday party. It was really fun to see them, since we hadn't in a while. They love Dogbert, but in that crowd it is rare to see blond hair and blue eyes. This time we weren't the only white family there, which I didn't expect. Hadn't seen them in so long, they didn't recognize Dogbert (because he grew so much) or me (due to the haircut). Got new contact info from another nice lady in that group. I'm excited.

Also went to yoga and bought the birthday present this morning. I forgot which of her girls was which (forgive me, both their names start with an M, and I know both ages, but I did ok with the gift) and it's all ok.

I felt bad that Tempest lost a few of her balloons where we couldn't reach them, but she wasn't the only one playing with them. Tempest asked for a nap when we got home. *Shock* Dogbert went to bed easy, too. Whew!!

I need to get better at this editing thing if I'm going to make the goal.
August 31, 2012 at 10:41pm
August 31, 2012 at 10:41pm
#759778
And oh, that means so many things.
*Puzzle1* I have been married 11 years (tomorrow).
*Puzzle2* I need to get my butt in gear for NaNo - prep starts in one month and I have a novel to finish editing.
*Puzzle3* I have to reevaluate my goals, like I ought to do every first of the month.
*Puzzle4* New schedule to include preschool, gymnastics, swim lessons, and watering the grass.

I am still trying not to enumerate the many ways I failed my yoga demo. Just hoping like hell I pass the background check.

Last night was preschool orientation. It was fun for Tempest. Her best friend is in the other class, so she'll get to know her classmates better, I think. Maybe? I approached her teachers about her AEA testing, and they were glad to hear that we had already sought the appropriate (maybe) help for her and would be happy to help. So, yay. But I'm not ready to think of her in preschool for three years at this point. I realize this about myself, but I don't know if I want to hear that from someone who has only met my child in a room with 11 others for 20 minutes. The social bug in Tempest came out and she shared and played with kids nicely - much better than she does with Dogbert at home.

Today's mail held another conundrum: a questionnaire from the 'second opinion' at the University of Iowa Children's Hospital. The thing is front and back of 4 pages plus cover letter and tons of fine print to be filled out by my child's teacher. *Rolleyes* My daughter is entering preschool, for the first year she is eligible, and she does not read. (Which is just fine for any 3 year old to NOT read!) The questions are about what grade level she reads at, how she does at mathematics and the other subjects for grade school children, and very finely detailed. Some of the questions I can answer, because I've been her primary care provider for the last 3.5 years. I might be having some control issues letting the teacher fill it out when there are only 2 hours per day at school, and only 5 school days before the test. 10 contact hours? And they get to fill out the entire questionnaire about things that may or may not come up in preschool?

Gah, why don't they have a preschool version of that thing? And why isn't someone asking my opinion? I know, I know, I'm biased - but I am the one seeking this stuff!

On the positive side, I get to obsess about what to bring for treats the second day of classes. Whee!

The program looks really exciting. Tempest's best friend will also get enrolled in Spanish, but I think that can wait for us for next year. I'd love her to learn it, but English first. She's getting better.

She fought me again on our little play exercises we're supposed to do. Must be more creative!

Dogbert has trouble going down to sleep lately. It's so hard to know what to do with him. Dilbert just gives a generic "he needs to learn to self-soothe". *Rolleyes* I know that. And he does, to a point, but he's freaking TEETHING.

Apparently I can't stay on target with the project I want to work on next. I'm flightly, scatterbrained, and have to endure my parents calling me stubborn. *Frown* Plus I'm supposed to get together with them again. I've been going to see them, and they won't come to see me. And I'm busy now - I have preschool and gymnastics and I scheduled the therapist during preschool so I don't have to take Tempest - because no one else will watch her for me.

My SIL has a point. I have no freedom. I have children with me everywhere, all the time. I'm sure if I weren't there all the time Dilbert would have to step up. Or, No.... we won't go there. He'd have to.

I'm not stubborn. I'm determined. There are reasons, generally good ones, for the things I hang on to.

And my mother came today. And Dilbert decided at the last moment to take off work for the entire day. And my mother kept saying things like "oh, you could've just told me he was taking off work and I would leave you guys to your family time." to which I replied it wasn't family time, Dilb was working outside. Which he did. the ENTIRE day with short breaks to not drink enough water. I ever had to help him outside and Tempest cried because she couldn't go out because of the exposed nails in the deckboards Dilbert pried off. Sigh. And yet mom said this AT LEAST THREE TIMES TODAY. If you don't like my husband, just say so. I offered her food again, but she only ate THE FOOD SHE BROUGHT TO MY HOUSE. Which was not as healthy as what I offered her. Chex Mix vs String Cheese, anyone? (she also left some strombolli which we like, but still.)

While she was here, I put away clothes, loaded dishwasher to try to clear off counters, and cleaned two bathrooms. Plus the regular stuff of two baths for the kids and a shower for me and breakfast and lunch. Kids napped in series (not parallel, like I prefer) and I still managed my 750 for the 34th day in a row.

Still loving my hair cut. At least it is one thing I don't have to worry about. Though the thought occurred to me: do people think of me differently now that I have one of those short pixie cut styles rather than the pulled-back ponytail?
August 29, 2012 at 5:10am
August 29, 2012 at 5:10am
#759587
About the yoga demo and how I flubbed it. Apparently so much that I can't go back to sleep after nursing Dogbert at 3:00. At least he went back to sleep. Poor kid is teething.

And poor me not able to give myself a break to get the rest I need to do, um, anything.
August 28, 2012 at 3:32pm
August 28, 2012 at 3:32pm
#759547
I cut off all my hair. While it is longer than Dilbert's, that isn't saying a whole lot. Shorter than I've ever cut it! Pixie style, and soon to be a picture on FB if my friend sends it to me. If not, someone else might take one at the playdate this afternoon. Dogbert can still grab it with his little fingers, but I have to be on the ground and only on the top. I like it.

My friend's sister looked at me with jaw dropped when I dropped off the kids. She said I have "balls of steel" to get such a dramatic change. *Smile* She's nice. Everyone thought it was really nice, and very me.

Dilbert said "Oh, you got the haircut." But he wouldn't say whether he liked it last night. I asked him right before I went to bed, so he'd had like 2 hours to think about it. But I guess it wasn't enough, because he wouldn't say anything! Which made me think he hated it. This morning he said it was nice. Not sure what to think.

I dropped off the kids with my friend for my YOGA DEMO. I don't sequence things in a natural, traditional yoga way anymore, and the lady picked up on that right away. And also, my epic nervousness. But she's going to process my application and work with me to do some more traditional stuff, and we're going to see after that, I think. Fingers crossed. I don't want to lose my Y membership. Though, that could have gone better. Sigh. I'm excited that they don't mind giving me some pointers for what they want for the subs. It is good to know if I'm going to keep teaching anywhere.

Potty training is still frustrating the heck out of me. I had her on and off the potty for two hours. The last time it was 15 or 20 minutes while we were talking and reading. But not five minutes after she got off (time to get dressed again, wash hands, go to other room) she peed all over Dogbert's riding car toy. GAH! 15 minutes after that, she did it again at the table. So I put her back into a diaper. This is not easy.

[right now sh'es not napping, saying "HELLO" and waiting for a response. Dang it. NAP!]

Dogbert has been pretty good except for sleeping. The poor guy cried between 11 and 12. He didn't want to nurse. I didn't know what to do with him. he wants to stand and maybe walk, but i need him to SLEEP so i can be up with them in the daytime.

I made a list yesterday. Resolved my yoga check issue at the chiropractic place. got the hearing test results to the AEA. got through some laundry and the dishes and changed the sheets. I have library books to return this week, as well as a change in gymnastics times and preschool starting next week. It's a bummer, but I am slowly figuring it out. Which reminds me I need to get through the rest of the list to know where I'm going to go after this. Even put house cleaning stuff on it.

Rechecked out Brisingr. It just isn't an easy read. Yet BrandiwynšŸŽ¶ asked me who is my best character ever? And I don't really know. GAH! Not good at yoga teaching, not good at writing, hate doing other stuff I was actually trained to do. What's next?
August 25, 2012 at 11:05pm
August 25, 2012 at 11:05pm
#759380
I had to go to my parent's house yesterday. And I got ensnared to stay for naptime. Only got home about 5 min before Dilbert did.

mom is trying to schedule another get-together (either me drive down there AGAIN *sigh* or she might come here) and he reminded me I don't have to every time they're around.

And I'm really tired. It might help if I didn't try to do so much.

This is supposedly my week off, from all the hubbub of a busy mother of two, because we only have gymnastics scheduled Wednesday. Except... we usually do Storytime on Thursday (which will change for preschool). And I have my yoga demo for the Y on Tuesday. So suddenly it looks kinda busy.

Mom didn't want to miss her writer group on Tuesday. Her first remark was "isn't this for the Y or anything so you can do child watch?" Gee, thanks, Mom. Don't you think if I had any recourse like that I'd take advantage of it, rather than asking YOU? We all know that you're all for seeing the grandkids on your schedule and not when it might benefit ME.

So I made other arrangements. And Mom thanked me for that. *Rolleyes* Remember not so long ago when she complained that I made other arrangements instead of asking HER? *headdesk!*

I'm remembering stupid things. Like how mom ambushed me to go get Tempest tested for AUTISM (because she talked to her friend the nurse practitioner, and she thought it might be autism). Because that's definitely the best way to say you're concerned - label it the current disorder in the spotlight and try to set everything on fire. I am hoping I would have responded better if she'd approached me as a rational person and said something more along the line of: I'm worried about how she communicates. There are free resources through (whatever agency) to see if she's fine or if there might be a problem.

Then there's the whole part about how it was my wedding, I should be able to wear whatever I wanted. And if I hadn't found my dress in Davenport (where I live now, when I lived in Coralville) that we'd have gone to Chicago or New York. That there wasn't a budget, because she thought I should be able to have whatever I wanted. *RolleyeS* So how come the part I really remember was that she wouldn't let me dye my shoes blue? I had a pretty ivory dress, and I wanted to dye the shoes light blue for my something blue. But she said that would be horrible with my classic style dress and that all of her friends agreed with her and BULLIED ME into dying them ivory to match the damn dress.

I was hoping to wear those shoes again as a fun thing with the blue trim. Instead, my mother used a safety pin to put a sapphire blue wedding on the garter she made for me and forgot to sew it. I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the work she did, but the safety pin managed to snag itself in my pantyhose, and when my new husband went to remove it, it was STUCK. I had to unpin it, amid jeers from friends telling Dilbert to take it off with his teeth and feeling (from his hand gently trying to grab it) my pantyhose starting to move. And I didn't think he was going to be able to remove my nylons with one hand gently pulling. Kinda frantic with the damn safety pin, but eventually the garter came loose. As did the ribbon. In separate pieces. And the runs in my nylons were insane. Luckily the dress covered them.

Incidentally, the dress covered my shoes, too. So why couldn't they be blue?

today was better. I mostly ignored an email from my mother asking to take Tempest to a bouncy castle at the church in Iowa City. 4 hours for my mother in the car so she can take Tempest to a bouncy castle? even (step)dad thought that was a bad idea.

What we did that was fuN: met a friend at the farmer's market for breakfast and playing on the playground, only made the last half of my friend's yoga class at the Y, hung out with the kids a lot while Dilbert went back to work. Nearly finished an embroidered flour sack dish towel. The kids will almost let me work on it without killing me.

750 words: 28 day streak, 433k+ total.
Sent the last bit of DTYM to my two critique group buddies, but I haven't heard from either yet. Trying not to worry about that. They'll send me their stuff soon, right?

Dogbert must be teething much more. He's up many times at night right now, unless I remember to be coherent enough to give him Tylenol. He also is trying to stand all the time, and once he let go of me and didn't fall. I am SO not ready for him to stand unaided, even for a moment! Stop it, dude!
August 23, 2012 at 10:36pm
August 23, 2012 at 10:36pm
#759263
Was scheduled for 9am to 11:30 am. But it ran until 12:20 pm. Talk about a long morning. Dogbert slept through most of it. [Whew.] So I got to watch/listen through the door.

It's hard to listen to some of that stuff and not comment. It's hard to not be able to hear all of it through the mostly closed door. And then to entertain the baby. Whee! I let him sleep, knowing he'd be keeping me company all afternoon.

Tempest got a snack in the middle. Which is good, or she'd have gotten cranky by the end. It's like they knew she'd need some fortification. They don't get many kids like her. Most of them have severe issues and they failed the Brigance   test used to evaluate them.

[When Tempest first took the Brigance test, she scored 54 and 52 was the edge where she would have been listed developmentally delayed. The second time she took it, she scored 70 while 55 was the delay cutoff. 80 is considered gifted at both levels, for comparison. In the meantime of that three months, we tried to do exercises. Then we got different exercises to build up to this evaluation. And now we have still new exercises!]

With Tempest, she has a few delays in specific areas. She has trouble answering questions. She has trouble asking for help to say she needs more instruction. She also struggles with questions she might know but get worded differently. Pretend someone asked "Who are you?" instead of "What's your name?" and then it took you a while to understand the difference. Tempest can answer one but not the other consistently. And more complicated questions with more ways to ask simply add to the problem.

On the other side of the score, she knows her letters (and has for quite a while), the sounds associated with the letters, and she can count to 30. She can also count to 10 in Spanish if she still remembers. And she's engaged people speaking in Spanish with an 'hola' in passing. Anything logical or sequential she is ahead, by more than a year in some cases. Everyone tells me she's very bright. That doesn't surprise me.

Because she's a unique case, the testers had to give me different kinds of things to try to get help for Tempest. They're drawing out her evaluation for another 60 days, during this time they are going to try to work with her through her preschool (which starts right after labor day). I don't like drawing it out, and it's difficult for me to not be able to label the problem and apply a specific fix. Yet I am hopeful of her progress and I am thinking she can totally beat this thing.

And phooey on all the people who said I didn't need to test her (and on my mother for thinking she was Autistic ever and needing testing for that - if she'd approached it differently I might have started earlier). Direct quote "she could probably skate through until 2nd grade when you have to understand what you read to do your homework." I'm getting her help now so we don't have to worry about it then. We'll find something new to worry about.

Whew.

I hear my niece and nephew are trying to adjust to a new school. My nephew is in Kindergarten this year, so it's just a new school thing. My niece started 4th grade, and she's focused on being teacher's pet and doesn't talk to any of her classmates. She sits on the swings at recess and "observes". Oh Dear. [And to think, by her age I was in my 5th school. I attended 7 schools K-12 and never switched a school simply to get to a higher education center because the middle years were spent at a school where K-12 were all in one building.]

Dogbert is doing well. He and I manage pretty well when Tempest is asleep, but I do prefer if they sleep together so I can get some quiet time.

Tempest also had her swim lesson this evening and I got her report card. I almost laughed when I saw smiley faces for "follows directions" and "listens well". She must be going from visual cues and what the other girls are doing, plus the teacher really likes her.

Dilbert's big work dinner went well last night. 12 adults plus my two kids. I had fun, though Dilbert was a PIMA for a couple days beforehand. And he cooked too much chicken. Who cooks 10 lbs of chicken for 12 adults? *shakes head*

Yoga demo scheduled for Tuesday. Mom wanted to do her writing group, so I found a backup plan. It's not like she ever wants to help ME out. The nicest thing the parents did for me this week was not insisting on trying to see us TODAY when they were driving back from Chicago. Today was insane.

August 22, 2012 at 10:31am
August 22, 2012 at 10:31am
#759143
Went to DO to get my back adjusted to fix my migraine, and it helped.

Today I duct taped fabric over my bedroom windows because I am still wincing every time I walk in the room. It would probably be smart to nap while a dogbert naps and Tempest is busy, but I am getting ready formDilbert's big work dinner tonight.

He thought I would like it. I was sick last weekend, enough that I drooled cough drop drippings all over his pillow. When he was gone having fun. Plus the migraine. And don't forget his Sky Is Falling attitude where absolutely everything is priority number one and why the hell hadn't I done all this?

I wasn't sure if he was trying to start a fight when he was vacuuming the stairs "I can tell you never do the stairs". I let it go right by without a return comment. Perhaps if I were not the only one caring for children, I might have time for more housework.

Did I mention he didn't get homeuntil after Dogbert went to bed? And then cried for a while? After all that.
August 20, 2012 at 11:11pm
August 20, 2012 at 11:11pm
#759017
Tempest's test is on Thursday. I knew Mom had forgotten, but she acted like I hadn't even TOLD her about it. Like I hadn't tried to emphasize that these exercises were for the test, and then the one in IC was for a second opinion for whatever they said. And why didn't I email her if it was like that? Because she was distracted because TEMPEST must have been TALKING the entire time I was trying to EXPLAIN IT TO THE WOMAN.

Tempest isn't the only one who needs to get checked out.

Mom and Dad are in Chicago this week. Apparently they're doing me a FAVOR by not dropping by on Thursday and trying to visit around Tempest's test, naptime, and swim lesson. Gee, thanks.

I cleaned a lot of the house today, have more to do tomorrow, plus grocery shopping. Dilbert invited people over on Wednesday night. [Hello, test Thursday?]

Tempest also does the counting part of the exercises perfectly for Mom. Frustration for me, bigtime. I mean, I know she can count. I know she knows what counting is with actual things. But she won't do "give me 5' or 'Give me 7' at all. A lot of times, she hands me all the pink or purple blocks and says the number, even if instead if 7 I get 14 in my hand.

And then my parents get all smug and say it's because I'm the parent that she won't do this for me. FUCK YOU BOTH. I'm the only one doing this. I know she gets bored and likes to play games. But THERE IS NO ONE ELSE TO DO IT. And this is what they told me I had to do for this test. I bend the rules enough by trying to engage her in new ways and encouraging other people to play to get her to actually do it, because most of the time when I try she just says NO.

I'm frustrated that I know she plays games but I missed that she was completely playing me on this one. And I'm angry that my parents try to rub it in when they don't pay attention to anything. Sure, they watch every single move Tempest makes, but they couldn't be bothered to notice I am even in the room, much less trying to say something or actually needing assistance.

Dilbert came home with his housecleaning thing, and I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. I wanted to go to therapy, but Dilb wasn't even home when he was supposed to be home, and then I forgot to call, and then if I try to go the rest of the week, I'll have Tempest with me. And now is really when I need someone to talk to to at least work through all the crap in my head, which just seems to be compounding.

I should stay off Facebook and keep my eyes off the TV. The political crap on both of them will frustrate the hell out of me since I'm already on a hair trigger from my stupid family. [Not the kids. My kids rock - when they're not playing head games with me. Remind me not to underestimate Tempest. Ever. She's smart. And don't ever let me mention that she might have gotten by me with something when my parents might be around because they get smug and I want to smack them. AND don't ever let me ask them questions because I thought mom might have remembered things when Tempest was a baby that the form asked and I had trouble finding in this lovely blog, and she gets even more uppity about how she thought *I* would keep a baby book about all that stuff and she only recorded some stuff but it was all in Arkansas. Spare me. Seriously.]


No wonder I need therapy. This is messed up.

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