%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the shuffle around here ... |
|
Best quote to describe me (Anonymous): "Do not think you are on the right road, simply because it is a well-beaten path." I am what I am. Learn to live with it. And realize that comment is as much directed to myself as any reader who ventures here. Tempest arrived 31 March 2009 - changing everything, but she's pretty awesome. Dogbert arrived 13 January 2012 and is working on making the rules change again. I have two writing personas, Ransom Noble and Sheta Storm. Each has goals, and I work on them slowly. Both are published, and will continue to strive toward bigger and better things. I finally figured out how to describe myself in three words: Creative, Determined, Ambitious. It doesn't have anything to do with how I relate to others, but I do use all of those in my many relationships as well as my career goals. I know others use words sometimes like "kind" or "caring" but I think that list is the most accurate if only using three words. Cast... Sesheta: Me Dilbert: My Husband Tempest: My Darling Daughter Dogbert: My Hungry Son Sheer, Nemo, EyeKandy(K), Diego: Friends/Brothers Sugar, Wolvenwings, Mrs. Light, Jori, Trillium (others will be added): Friends It's a start, anyway. Off-Site Blogs: http://ransomnoble.wordpress.com/ http://sheta-storm.blogspot.com/ Upcoming Events: Beaverdale Books signing for Art of Science - TBD Other Items about Me: "Invalid Item"  "Invalid Item" "Failing is a part of success. To make goals effective, you have to fail at them 50 percent of the time, or they didn't stretch you far enough." Chip Wilson, courtesy of an article by Ella Lawrence called Set Your Course from Yoga Journal |
| Surface from Microsoft, that is. Dilbert had triple points from Best Buy, and he got me an early mother's day gift. Not that I had really expressed interest. He is trying to stop me from using two screens - the netbook (which has seen better days) and the iPad (which he says won't last forever) - because I do not appreciate typing on the iPad with the virtual keyboard and I keep[ it close because I do other things on there. Always multitasking. So I am trying it out. I do not relish the idea of giving my newer ipad to the kids, toom which is Dilbert's plan. Then each child gets one to play with, and I have the Surface. And when it is time to upgrade Dilb's tablet, I get a Surface Pro. At least by then I will be able to type on this keyboard. It isn't easy. There are no pieces in the keyboard, it is a heavy felt=backed plastic that res[onds to key presses by fingers, is labeled, but nothing actually moves. It is the right size, but I only could type 20 wpm on itlast night. 40wpm tonight. And I corrected most of my mistakes. Frustrating when on a real keyboard I can consistently do between 60 and 100 when I really focus. Then I thought, at least I have time to adjust before November and the word sprints. One thing I am a little sad about is that I found all the lovely apps for iPad, and all of them are now going to have to wait for Windows 8 to get them or find equivalents. Dilbert is stepping up to help with the research, so that is something. He did apologize, kinda, for causing so much distress. I am not sure that I am unhappy with the Surface, there are a lot of nice things about it. I need an ereading app most among the things left to figure out. And not Kindle, Nook, or Kobo. Plus I remember how much the Kindle app pissed me off in tandem with Windows 8 about a month ago that caused me to unDRM all my ebooks.... If I keep this thing, I am stuck with that. but Iam married to Dilbert. I'll always be stuck with that. (Original intention: Windows 8.) |
| It's come back. Mostly. Considering I lost it Wednesday evening, this has been difficult for me. Thursday Tempest needed extra hugs and reassurance because I sounded like a shrieking, hunting hawk every time I tried to speak. She thought I was screaming at her. Luckily, Friday was a bit better. I was especially annoyed at Dilbert because he was home early Wednesday for his beer, he had to have noticed I had no voice when he left Thursday, and he was home early Friday for his beer. Thursday I texted him at 430, which he ignored, and had to call him at 6 because he ignored it. He did come home at 630, but sheesh. I hate being sick. So I have also been staying out of the pool since swim lessons. Not great for Tempest, but I did take them to the Y twice just to rest and read and not talk to anybody. They thought I sounded horrible Friday. But only 'cause they didn't hear me Thursday. What helped to take Tempest to swimming with me gave her more confidence in the pool. She even told them she had to go potty. So big improvements, and we're building from there. I'm just really glad to make the progress, but then to be sick doesn't help any of us. I am very happy the kids didn't get it. Though I am giving poor Dogbert some more nebulizer time. He's got something going on. Saw Mom today, and I felt so stupid to get my car stuck on the one corner that is always slick. And Dilbert (who was not with us and doesn't know what it is like for conditions today) was smug. But I called both my parents (because Mom couldn't couldn't call the guy and she isn't able to drag me out of my predicament). I didn't go in the ditch, though it was close, and I probably got stuck in someone else's old tracks that had gone in the ditch because I had trouble maneuvering out of it. At least the kids fell asleep in the car. It took them only a few minutes to pull me on the correct path, and the interstates, of course, were all clear. I just hate the smugness that of course if he were there it would have been different. I mean, it would be, but damn. I am not a bad driver. Portable MFA is also giving me a few ideas about how to edit DTYM. Tomorrow begins the resolving of the comments and adding a few things that I drafted to bring out the Beth subplot. |
| I feel overwhelmed. I don't know how it happened. It just all seems to be catching up with me. I am not sure what to do about it. The good news? I figured out how to get Dogbert to sleep. He wants his little lovey blanket, and he relaxes. At most he gets up once, around 5 or 6 am, nurses, and goes back to sleep until 7 or later. Amazing. Tempest isn't going quite as well with the potty training. I mean... she did poop in the potty this week! But I will be talking to the doctor about it because I'm still worried. We missed swim lessons last night because of it. Sigh. I am editing Don't Tell Your Mother. Starting at the end, going forward. Through about 10 original chapters, but condensed to 8 already. Haven't lost any word count from that, and still trying to beef the thing up a bit. 30k is not a happy place for the YA novel it wants to be. And tonight I was brainstorming about novels and the ideas that keep circling in my head. Reading: Portable MFA. |
| You know it is bad when you have a dream you are talking to a psychologist and he asks about the glass half full/half empty thing and you tell him the glass has a safety factor of 2. Luckily, then the lil girl woke me by climbing in bed. At 5:30. Which is the old 4:30, right? I didn't think that was supposed to make her get up earlier?! |
| Dilbert hasn't changed a diaper in more than two weeks, probably closer to three. [He was in India for 10 days, but when I told him it was his turn last night, he said he wouldn't do it and it was almost bedtime. Still don't understand why that made a factor that he didn't need to change Dogbert. Then I heard more from Dogbert and took care of it. And then put him to bed. Forgot to let Tempest and Dilbert hug him, but oh well. So how does he [Dilbert] not see this as unacceptable and going to make me cranky? I feel angry or annoyed at him nearly all the time lately. Tonight he was freaking out about the house not being clean enough for our friends to visit tomorrow. They're not arriving until NOON THIRTY and we will have the kids around in the morning. Hello? NOT GOING TO STAY THAT WAY. And he couldn't wait until the kids were in bed. He had to do it RIGHT THEN. No surprise, but I find it annoys me every time. And I'm exhausted [Dogbert getting up every two hours at night] but I still have to do more than I feel I can handle. I mean, Dilbert did use the snowblower on the driveway yesterday. But he snapped at me to grab Dogbert when he was loading the dishwasher. [Hello? You could help me with that.] He kept leaving all the doors open (stair gate, basement storage, laundry room) and I had to grab Dogbert for all those, too. My wrists are killing me. Dogbert struggles. Dogbert is heavy and wants to snuggle a lot during the daytime. both of them now ache, and I grabbed ibuprofen before putting Z down (she thought they were candy, I think, and wanted them. Dang.) and one still aches where i caught it with the hem of my shirt. The other feels strangely blank from lack of pain. This is not so good, esp since I still teach yoga and Pilates. And when Dogbert gets up at night, I have to lift him out of crib and back into crib. It's hell on the wrists. If I turn over wrong the weight of the blankets is enough to send shooting sensations through my lower arms. Something's gotta change soon. |
| Once an enginerd, always an enginerd. There is a new exhibit where Tempest goes to preschool. It's like a town, but everything is pint sized for the kids. There is a farm and market area with a treehouse, an ice cream parlor, pizza place, post office, shoe store, and a town clock which has a bunch of balls rolling around and a few wheels to turn. Guess which part is my favorite? Tuesday some balls were stuck in a wheel, and I fixed it. Thursday I was just playing... I wish I had one of those in my living room, then I remembered I know how to build those. Anyway... yeah. Whoops. The last few days I've been getting hold of all my ebooks and putting them in one spot. DRM is driving me nuts. I also hate how Windows8 and the kindle app conspire to not show me where the books are downloaded and proceed to use up all the available memory but not let me add more. App deleted. Calibre installed. Still working on a new idea for something, but it's not coming clear very easily. PuppyTales  helped as a nice steampunk resource. It remains to be seen whether or not my idea fits into that, but sometime I will probably try a steampunk project. Dilbert lands at the airport in about an hour and a half. 10 days gone is harder when two weekends are involved. He'll be home tomorrow to recover from all the flying. [Since Friday: Delhi to Mumbai, Mumbai to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to Detroit, Detroit to MLI, where I will pick him up.] One of the funniest things about him going to India is he is even showering with bottled water. Everyone else seems to think showering there is fine as long as you, y'know, keep your mouth closed.  Dogbert is walking. Teething. Trying to talk. Tempest was at my mom's again last night, which made it quiet. But it is also nice to focus a little more on the little one. Plus I know she gets a bunch of attention from the grandparents. She's probably going to be pissed when it's Dogbert's turn to go without her. I managed a lot of kitchen and laundry maintenance, but it is still not that nice in my house. Suppose I ought to go run and improve it a little more before the kids wake. 750 words: 7 day streak. (will be purchasing some membership soon) WDC: membership renewed. Yoga and Pilates: tomorrow will resume getting the workout schedule. Editing: keeps getting away from me. Social media: beginning to have a presence again. Rules for above daily things: forthcoming. |
| To different degrees. Dilbert is gone. The TV is off. Tempest spent last night at Mom's, and Trillium had been here for the weekend. Friday night we went to the museum opening (at Tempest's preschool) and I was seriously glad to have someone with me. We saw friends, but hard to do things on your own and follow two mobile children. We split up and managed to find each other to go home. Made chicken marsala from cooking club and stayed up too late, and Dogbert was up a few too many times. Saturday we visited my parents and left Tempest for the night. Watched Hotel Transylvania and a couple of Big Bang Theory episodes to catch up. Today we (Trillium and I) did pedicures and visited a bookstore and had lunch out (what luxury!). Poor Dogbert wasn't his usual self, but we did all right. She left, and I'm waiting for her to get home before going to sleep. Went to cooking club and have 13 new dishes, 3 of which have to be made this week, unfortunately. With Dilbert gone!! Less money this month and one more dish. Pretty cool, really. I spent over two hours chopping vegetables and the green onions made me cry. Sigh. Anyway - Exhausted but it was a really nice weekend. My parents watched the kids and Tempest really said she missed me. But I got them into bed. Now i still have to clean up my bedroom and bathroom enough to go to sleep. Still, nice to be able to leave a mess for an hour or so (or the afternoon) and not worry about someone bitching about it. Trillium and I keep loaning each other books, but she  much faster than I do. Yeah, I have two kids. Just not fair to compare to someone who doesn't have that commitment. but a nice weekend. Phone tag with Dilbert tonight, who forgot I had cooking club. Luckily my dad answered the phone when he called the third time. Plus I had two emails and one missed on my cell - not sure how that one happened 'cause i had it with me. Annoying part of cooking club: it seems almost impossible for all of us to be able to grab one of each dish. People always end up with one left over and two of something else. Gonna see if I can help the girl who is sorta running it to smooth those issues out, because that (and paying) took half an hour. Serious wasted time there. I loathe inefficiency. |
| No. Just woke me to find the stupid camera. At midnight. Couldn't wait until tomorrow. Now he is searching for power converters. At least he doesn't blame me for not finding them. And I can't go back to sleep. I did say if he wants to know why I am in a bad mood in the morning, he can think back to this moment. Already was up once with the boy, too. |
| But not everyone gets to the dawn. And everything looks different depending on your perspective, so how the heck does anyone really know? Tempest: Major backsliding in potty training this week. She even pooped in the pool - which about the worst mess for me to try to clean up at the Y and i HATE it. I just don't even know what to do about it. She's also begging to go to sleep with me nearly every night, plus she wants hugs every other minute her entire waking day. I keep trying to have everyone in bed until nearly 7, but she yelled and screamed and cried so it felt like an exercise in utility this morning. She even woke up Dogbert. Dogbert: Much more easy-going, it seems. He loves the pool (never pooped in it yet, thankfully), and doesn't want to climb out because he can stay in the water longer. Plus he jumps in at least three times as much as any other kid because he doesn't wait for '1 2 3 JUMP". His hair curls when wet and he crawled up to my Swedish friend (who is now going to be a fixture at gymnastics with her son in T's class) and hugged her at two different times. While he had two different diaper incidents today, one i took care of at gymnastics and one Dilbert tried to handle, but I ended up giving poor Dogbert another shower. He loves showers. [Tempest seems terrified of them at the moment.] Dilbert: yelled at me for the second morning in a row this week. Monday he was sick and spent most of the day asleep - hence, no yelling. So I was busy in the kitchen until just before this post trying to get stuff together. I put laundry away and made him sit with Tempest during her stalling potty break because she didn't want to go to bed (alone). And he hates my attitude because I'm "taking it out on him" but I'm sure I wouldn't if I got help, or a break, or, really, anything. Me: Seriously questioning my purpose and my direction and everything else. Read two stories that I thought might be ready to do something with and realized they're not there. They're not close. They suck. No wonder nobody wants to be my "elizabeth" and read everything and tell me what they think. I have a bunch of ideas about what I want to accomplish and how to do it, but I have no time to invest in anything and no money to back it up. [Yes, there's a story behind "elizabeth" but I can't get into it now. I need to go to bed soon.] Today, I did not do my 750 words. Does it matter if they're going to a paid subscription and I'm not sure I can validate reasons to fund it? Instead, I'm writing this blog post before bed and trying to empty the junk from my head. Last night, I dreamed of zombies. I woke with a "what the ... ?" feeling and was seriously groggy. I think that was the second time Dogbert woke up, around 3am. He generally is waking around 1 and 3 and then 6:30ish. I get to bed around 10:30. Long-term sleep deprivation is definitely an issue here. Mom visited today - and she stayed up with Tempest during her usually scheduled nap and fed her, and fed her. Eating is one of Tempest's stalling points, but I need her to eat. So I left. Tempest went down at 2:30 (a problem with swim lessons at 4:15), and Dogbert woke at 2:50. I came home around 3:15 - and spent just about an hour shopping. For myself. For clothing I didn't truly "need' even though my clothes don't fit very much any more. Some of them do, but many of them are too loose. I feel dumpy. I feel like I'm constantly adjusting my clothing, which is not good at all. I went to Express and bought two pair of jeans, one dress and three shirts - all for just less than $200 (the entire store is on sale!). I tried on the dress, about eight pairs of pants and five shirts. I had no children hanging on me or trying to escape the dressing room or protesting in any way. I had helpful salespeople and I took advantage of it. Don't tell Dilbert. I spent money on me. And I hope it will help my self-image to not be so dumpy. I still need a haircut and a few other things, but that was a major event. I haven't been this size since college: tops and dress size small and size 6 jeans. I remembered to do Tempest's alphabet book - this week is V - and packed her school bag with the book and a milk jug. Ran into Tempest's friend and classmate (and her mother and sister) at the Y - talking with them made me sad that the friend gets to do her alphabet book with daddy because that is their activity. Is it my fault that Tempest doesn't have activities like that to do with her daddy? And if my attitude is so bad, why do I go out and spend money on me? I feel guilty for upgrading my wardrobe. It needs it, badly, and I got a good deal on what I bought. Yet still I feel this nagging sense that I'm not worth it. Must go to sleep. Perhaps tomorrow will look better in a new pair of jeans. That I won't constantly be hiking up. [For reference: I'm at least 10 lbs below where I was pre-pregnancy, both of them. That had been my stable weight since 2002 after gall bladder attack and lapropscopy. Gained about 25 lbs with Tempest, lost all of it within a year, gained 30+ with Dogbert, and now down 40ish in a year. The first nonmaternity pants I bought after Dogbert were size 10. I love them, but they fall off me. I can pull my size 8's off without unbuttoning them with only a bit of wiggling.] And I must remind myself that I'm still within a healthy range of weight for my height. I'm sure someone will tell me if I'm getting too thin. That is assuming that someone still looks at me, because I often feel invisible because people only see my children. Though there are a few of them who do mention I'm thinner these days. Must boot laundry, then head to bed. I wish someone would give me a nickel for every load of laundry I do. |
| And yes, i know that is not completely the word I am looking for, but it is close enough. Right now my inertia is holding me in the same spot: where things are not finished editing, where i cannot think of anything besides the next deadline, where the list of things to be done never gets shorter. I feel useless. Haven't cracked the binder for DTYM in weeks, even though i'm supposed to be editing it. Have been since 1 Dec - and yet precious little has been accomplished. I've got some kind of resistance there and I'm not sure what it is yet. Thinking about self-publishing, but none of that matters a whit if i can't get beyond the editing thing. Researching Pilates and managing to stay afloat in my class, so far. Yoga is similarly going decently. 750words is going to a paid subscription model - and duotrope already did. Which takes me to more research. I haven't done a bunch of other things, and most of the time I can't even put together a list of things that need to be done. Like tomorrow is my day to take snacks. Drat! And today was a long, long day of whining incessantly throughout. Tempest is afraid of pooping on the potty, but at least I figured out how to get her to stop pooping in the pool. Today marked something between the kids running around (before both went to bed early) where Dogbert ended up with a bloody nose. Tempest got her bloody nose from hugging Dogbert (and he didn't let go when she went to run off and tripped her) last Thursday. It's just been trying every time I turn around. I should learn to stop turning around. Dogbert is walking pretty much everywhere for about a week, though it has been about 5' distances and increasing. He is so proud of himself. Dilbert leaves for India on Friday. He doesn't listen to me, either. It's almost to the point I just stopped answering questions because most of the time he wanders away before I answer. What's the point? See back to feeling useless. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
PassKey Override Available
