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Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the shuffle around here ... |
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Best quote to describe me (Anonymous): "Do not think you are on the right road, simply because it is a well-beaten path." I am what I am. Learn to live with it. And realize that comment is as much directed to myself as any reader who ventures here. Tempest arrived 31 March 2009 - changing everything, but she's pretty awesome. Dogbert arrived 13 January 2012 and is working on making the rules change again. I have two writing personas, Ransom Noble and Sheta Storm. Each has goals, and I work on them slowly. Both are published, and will continue to strive toward bigger and better things. I finally figured out how to describe myself in three words: Creative, Determined, Ambitious. It doesn't have anything to do with how I relate to others, but I do use all of those in my many relationships as well as my career goals. I know others use words sometimes like "kind" or "caring" but I think that list is the most accurate if only using three words. Cast... Sesheta: Me Dilbert: My Husband Tempest: My Darling Daughter Dogbert: My Hungry Son Sheer, Nemo, EyeKandy(K), Diego: Friends/Brothers Sugar, Wolvenwings, Mrs. Light, Jori, Trillium (others will be added): Friends It's a start, anyway. Off-Site Blogs: http://ransomnoble.wordpress.com/ http://sheta-storm.blogspot.com/ Upcoming Events: Beaverdale Books signing for Art of Science - TBD Other Items about Me: "Invalid Item"  "Invalid Item" "Failing is a part of success. To make goals effective, you have to fail at them 50 percent of the time, or they didn't stretch you far enough." Chip Wilson, courtesy of an article by Ella Lawrence called Set Your Course from Yoga Journal |
| Explains most of my day. Yesterday was nice, we visited the in-laws. But Dilbert was busy with his dad loading his new computer and setting it all up. So the kids and I were alone a lot downstairs. Then FIL's GF came, then we managed to play. Then I volunteered to get pizza, since Dilb's sis wasn't there with her kids yet and there was no word. Then they arrived toward the end of lunch (which was happening during the regularly scheduled naptime for my kidS) and brought the chaos of five very mobile happy children and the sleepy twins. It got on my nerves because I couldn't get mine to sleep. Dogbert got half an hour while I picked up the pizza - the reason i took him with me was for him to calm down - but when we got home he was AWAKE again. Tempest didn't sleep except half an hour on the way home. She was a terror this morning. All "mommy, mommy" crying and screaming what seemed like every two seconds. I put her down to nap over an hour early for a meeting which didn't start for another hour... so I put off my writing @750 words, thinking I could concentrate on it when the meeting was done. But I had to cut out of the meeting because the kids woke up before it ended.  Figures. The day I REALLY want them to give me a break because *I* need a timeout, and they don't. So I took it to mean I needed to find another break, and after taking care of laundry and two cranky kids and changing sheets and all the rest, I went to work out at the Y. mostly I did the rowing machine, but I also did some strength on the assisted pull-up/dip machine. [Look at me, using the machines!] Found a friend and chatted a bit, and then just worked up a sweat. I don't like to sweat, but it was good for me. I needed that release and to not focus on KIDS KIDS KIDS all the time. But then I got home and Dilbert had so many things to say. "Did you water the lawn?" I hadn't even parked the car yet. "You didn't sort this mail." I had just walked in the house, but at least he helped Tempest out of the car. "When did you last get the mail?"  Well, if you don't like how I sort it, you should TELL ME WHERE YOU WANT THE MAIL to sort it yourself or to give me direction on how you think you have a system for it to be sorted because it is NOT intuitive. Then he was taking care of some of the stuff he found in the mail while I fed the kids and then fed myself, then he finally ate. While I took care of more laundry and the dishes. Then he wanted to watch TV [downstairs]. "We really gotta clean this place up tonight." But then he didn't lead the charge and I was busy putting kids to bed. Because when I came back downstairs at 8, which would have been ideal to start getting Tempest rounded up with toys and putting things away, then going upstairs to bed, he was busy watching a show, so I simply sat down with her until he stopped it for her bedtime. *shrug* Perhaps we'll pick up down there tomorrow. And instead of remembering to come up and wish her goodnight, he was busy downloading some crap for my computer. [firewall? then windows updates] And, of course, just like always, he SHUT DOWN EVERY SINGLE FREAKING WINDOW without asking anything about whether I needed it or if it was saved or ANYTHING. "If you leave that many windows open for a long time it opens a portal for a virus for your computer." Gee, thanks, Dilbert, but I think *I* am the one who writes science fiction. It is fiction, right? Anyone else know if having a site open for an undisclosed amount of time (or some sites...) is going to open a portal for a virus? Other than killing my available memory, tell me what the dangers are. I know I'm going through a shift. I am no longer having an easy time looking for the bright side. I am focusing on negative things and I am not having much success directing my thoughts elsewhere. I am easily irritated and it isn't easy when Tempest is so cranky and I can't get a break. Another reason for the workout. Might try that every day this week, though scheduling will be a nightmare. I need to focus on taking some time for ME so I can do everything for my family. |
Brandiwyn🎶  even confirmed it. Yet I'm testy and short tempered with Dilbert and he's really noticed that tonight. He probably deserves it. I'm annoyed with him because he's been sick for like a week. It's not what the kids had, or if it is it is that and something else. It isn't going away. It started after the football game a week ago, and he was late to work Monday after lying around all day Sunday. [I had to take the kids to see the doctor and when I thought I could drop them off and get Dogbert's Rx - Dilb had gone. Sheesh.] Tuesday and Wednesday he was completely gone on a business trip. Thursday and Friday he STAYED HOME SICK. And everyone knows how much that bugs me. So today he went to the game again, and tomorrow we're going to DBQ so he can set up his dad's computer. That's probably going to be an all day affair. Hoping to see his sis and the kids, but will be taking my own project stuff with me. And the computer is in the room where we usually nap the kids, so even better. Sigh. Couldn't be easy, huh? And the Sunday yoga class might as well be cancelled because no one is coming. Which is also annoying to me. I'm reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and just picked up a book about goals called This Year I Will.... The goals book is interesting and I'm making notes. World building... is taking up a lot of my brain power at the moment. World building and worrying about how to approach Tempest's issues. But the goals book will help with both of my issues, and we'll see after that. I have a much better handle on one of my species as of today. It's so exciting to make a breakthrough like that. Two down, ten to go. Part of the reason I was so put out by Dilbert - he's been out all day. I hadn't gotten out to buy more diaper genie refills and I didn't want to pour both kids in the car. Again. Did I mention we went to yoga this morning AND to a birthday party? The kids were so tired after and I had to nap Dogbert before, and so there really wasn't a good time to go. And he was annoyed that I forgot to water the grass. Again. And then he had to take a shower. So then he said I could go when all that was done, except then it was nearly time to put the kids in bed. I forgot to give Dogbert his third dose of medicine tonight. GAH. Maybe I'll get it ready for whenever he wakes at night. I bought him some shirts because I realized while talking to SIL that the poor dude doesn't have much to wear. I got him five shirts with long sleeves that will be nice for him during colder weather that is coming. Garage sales haven't been forthcoming lately and they're nearly done and the shirts I bought were not much more expensive than I'd find there, if I could find what I wanted in the proper size. And I bought nail polish for me because darn it I need something. My knee still hurts from last weekend. My wrist still pains me from the last couple months of being either in or out of its proper location and still picking up things that are Dogbert's weight or more. Leaving fairly early tomorrow so I probably need to get all my stuff together tonight. And tonight's nearly done because it's time to go to sleep. EEP. |
| At least, I hope. Life is hard enough without all the anxiety attached. 1. Scrambled together a nice gift for Mom. Also took her out to breakfast this morning. She thought I forgot... Ah, um. yeah. And she also mentioned that while she loves the gift, it would have been okay to call her on her birthday and that would have been good enough. {e:grimace} 2. Managed both sickish kids without Dilbert because he went to ALO for an overnight trip conference thing. [He also managed to forget to turn off his 5am alarm.] 3. Dogbert decided he needed to scream starting somewhere around midnight last night. I had trouble getting him settled. he wanted to snuggle. But i can't sleep when he snuggles. Then at a specific time that I cannot explain, he suddenly wants back in his crib and not to snuggle. And it's difficult to go through those transitions because first he's happy being close and then he arches backwards and won't settle. Not much sleep last night. Funny, I had him settled when Dilb's alarm went off. 4. Left the house not long after 7am to go to meet mom for breakfast and had the kids in tow. 5. Left Dogbert with Mom after breakfast (and struggled to switch around carseats) and Tempest and I got to her test right at 9:45. Lunch was a nice break and nursed Dogbert. Finished with testing expected to be around 2pm. But it lasted until 3 instead. 6. No results are immediate. We had a vital check (including blood pressure, height, weight and all that stuff), met with a medical doctor for a sort of physical, a speech pathologist, and a social worker (who had a student along). There are a lot of little details and it's hard to keep them straight.  There's a chicken egg conundrum: which comes first, the fidgets or the comprehension disconnect? Because if she is fidgeting first, they might think she's ADD or ADHD or something along those lines. And if the language disconnect is what starts off and she fidgets as a response to distract the question-asker from the lack of knowledge [And Dilbert and I are both leaning toward this response] then it could be something else entirely. Both speech pathologist and medical doctor recommended seeing the psychologist, and that will be at another appointment in the future. Whee. Social worker recommended PCIT - parent child interaction therapy - to have some other strategies for communication, which I think might be good the way they explained it. The main social worker woman seemed like quite a mouse. as with all things, I don't have all their stuff together because they will mail it to me. later. {e:thoughtful} Both the longer tests that Tempest has taken recently have ended with someone telling me that she can do something, but she hasn't done it in the format that they were looking for with the test. Like the one was looking for the 'ing' version of the word sleep, and she said 'sleeps' but later looked for the present-tense version, and got 'sleeping'. She's independent, creative, and got a sense of humor. Watch out, test-givers! I talked it out with a friend on the phone, and I have ideas about how to tackle a few of the things she seems to not understand. And that is exciting to me. Plus I need to start on the gifts for her preschool teachers for bearing with me through all this test stuff. [Plan is to crochet bookmarks and maybe a coaster.] |
| Both kids sick. Dilb went back to work, but late. Forgot mymother's birthday yesterday. Worst person ever. |
| Yeah, I shouldn't. I found most of the documentation needed for Tempest's test this coming Wednesday. There isn't much I can do for her between now and then except be ready. And that has less to do with prepping for the test than actually trying to stay up on the exercises from the AEA and getting her past the word 'no' and temper tantrums and calling the insurance and actually sending in all the forms. I think Merry Mumsy  had a point today. When do I get time off from the kids when they're driving me nuts? Uh, never. Dilbert has football games, which somehow equals 4 home games in a row for 4 of the 5 saturdays in September. Today is the 2nd, and he'll be gone about 12 hours again this Saturday, similar to last Saturday. It feels like forever. Last week, I got to visit my parents and I went to yoga.This week, yoga and a trip downtown to see the celtic festival and my BAND (Wylde Nept). I can't believe they're playing in Davenport and I am really excited to see them. I am tired. Plus, Tempest threw a HUGE FIT when it was time to sleep. Such a large fit, she woke up Dogbert. half an hour of her protesting, then 1.5 hours of him crying or screaming is enough to send me over the edge. And yet he's still awake, now sitting in my lap again. Luckily he is quiet. But he's not sleeping and his total napping so far today is 1 hour, rather than about 3 that he needs. And i anticipate that Dilbert won't want me to go to yoga again tomorrow (by myself - NO KIDS) because dogbert cries while I am gone. But I need to go to the class if I'm ever gonna have more than just the one student. Or do anything with it at all. And i need some kind of a break if I'm to watch the kids up to 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. naptime is only one kind of break. I get them out of bed and I read to them before they go back to bed. And let's not forget how Dogbert still nurses at night. Is there any wonder I'm ready to give up and quit everything? How I wander around listlessly trying to accomplish all the things around here? And I feel like every time something doesn't go my way, it just might not be. I know part of that is an all-or-nothing attitude that one therapist thought she broke me of years ago. *shrug* She wasn't as smart as she thought she was. A mood swing does not a cure create. The only good thing is I can identify this crap, even if I can't really fix it. maybe it will be better after Wednesday. I might have some answers, then. The AEA paper shows Tempest's development across several areas where she scores from a high of 51 months to a low of 33 months - and somewhere in that low score included the part where she didn't answer a single part of at least one category. Age at the time was 40 months. |
| I am floating somewhere on a swing between depressed and useless and possibly making things happen. It doesn't feel good and things loom over me. Only upside is my research and world building are going okay. I called mom to tell her about Tempest and Dogbert and see what was up. She wanted me to go out there on Friday (again?!) and I told her I really needed to go to the yoga class at the Y. She said dad had asked me to go roof the storage building because he was nostalgic for my teen years when we would work together on the farm and wasn't I nostalgic? I am proud of myself I only said no. For my freaking teen years??? Dilbert commented it was probably because he (dad) could control me. (or at least the illusion of control) and the more I think about that, the more I think Dilbert is right. Which Pains me, but I have come to accept my parents are self centered, and I always knew they were strict and controlling. Or, I did once I took some logical thought about how they treated me. Next time I need someone to kick Dilbert, remind me he is a million times better than living with them. I mean, dad said (when I was 32) that he still wanted to control me at 25 and that I would want to do the same to Tempest. *body wracked with shudders* and let's not forget the time he called me a WHORE. Or a million other things. And if I ever even think I could possibly be nostalgic for my teens, admit me to a mental clinic because I will be beyond any of my normal coping measures. |
| Dilbert was gone at the football game for nearly 12 hours. And it wasn't even a work day. While I did go to yoga, I also visited my parents for a few hours. And my mother keeps making comments like "well, i don't know when i'll see the children next." otherwise it was not a bad visit. my dad is not good with small children because these are the first two he's been around. But he tries. Mom is overprotective to the point of silliness. Today was family time. Which also meant a lot of TV, plus me watching the kids while Dilbert tore apart the deck. by which I mean, the supports are mostly left and the step that he hasn't torn off yet. One of the supports cracked and split apart when he pulled out a nail. So there was a good reason for it to come off. We might replace it with a stone patio. But I'm tired. Dogbert cut another tooth! (#3 was last Thursday, #4 today - the vampire look is in with two bottom middle teeth and the two top teeth flanking the front ones. So hilarious except when he BITES.) The middle two front are imminent. OUCH. no yoga again. And I'm in a pickle over names. Luckily Robert Waltz  is there to provide interesting information. http://donjon.bin.sh/scifi/system/index.cgi For Planetary systems! And then he shared his naming conventions with me, which might also help. Yikes. Why isn't he published again? I'm really at a loss. Maybe I should go back and sketch them since I can see them in my head. Maybe I should boil them down to a few words and rank them like an RPG for certain qualities (mental and physical and emotional and whatnot) to really make all that work for me. Boy, it's SO GOOD I didn't wait until like October to start world building, huh? I'd be a basket case. I will get this world together. And I will write many, many novels there to make it worth the headache of all the world building. Hear me, muse? MANY, MANY NOVELS! (and maybe some shorter works, too) I suppose it isn't too late to switch to my other idea. while it has some world building needs, too, it is so much closer than this one. So titles-in-progress are Firstborn and The Next Jane. TNJ is a good name and I can justify it for the world or the first novel and call the world something else when the novel is in a state of near-completion. Firstborn was going to be the name of the novel, but the scope has changed so much since I started creating it just over six years ago. [read: about half a year before I joined WDC.] So on my list better be a better universe name than Firstborn. Not because I hate it, but because I'm not sure it fits anymore. Yikes. Scope creep. Deep breath. I can do this. I will do this. Let's hear it for sci-fi this NaNo! And I haven't decided if I'm going to do a side project like last year as well as the regular NaNo gig. |
| http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?feature=plcp&v=BVVfs4zKrgk&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv... Spent part of the day with Robert Waltz , part at a tea party for tempest. Very tired, but overall nice day. And decided not to kill myself by trying to fit in the yoga class.Waltz helped my world building, and I think I know where I am going. Wow. Huh? I should talk to him more often when my progress plateaus. And anytime I need a dose of puns. |
| Dilbert was a stupid head yesterday. And the kids have been screaming a lot. Dogbert got another tooth today #3! Tempest just needs outlets for her energy, perhaps. Dilb was not stupid head today when he ran off her energy before bed and gave me a break. Whew. I was at the end of ,y rope. I want to do maps. I want to do sketches. I missed my editing time. I finished Inheritance, and I will shortly go to bed. I also fixed my knitting that tempest unraveled. Sigh. Her preschool teacher says she is doing well and I went to therapy. Cut it short because I ha to be back to pick her up, but it was mostly a good morning. I think next week we might hit the park or something prior to preschool. Something! Maybe tonight we can sleep. I am going to bed an hour earlier... and I hope I can skip insomnia issues despite that. |
| I'm so proud of her! I mean, I didn't expect any trouble to leave her there. She was good going there. She was excited to be dressed up and going somewhere fun. And she said she had fun! First thing she said was 'goldfish eating' for her snack, and then there went my first idea for her snack for preschool on Thursday. But she also ate string cheese today. And an orange. Neither of which was expected, but then I think I can do string cheese for snack. And I chatted with the nice lady from Sweden all through the two hours of preschool. We had fun, too! She had to stay because she'd promised her son. And he didn't need her. I did not get to Chapter 4, but I did get through Chapter 3. And Dilb wanted to watch a show, and I wanted to upload pictures of preschool... so I just kinda didn't push. Esp after Tempest didn't nap. OY! She also made a huge mess with paints and drove me out of my mind. Dogbert was better, but still a handful. I need my break! I also managed my 750 words. Also did some research on parsecs, light-years, and astronomical units. Gotta love that. I feel like I'm gearing up for something. I have written 3601 words in the last 4 days. All of it is world-building. And i STILL haven't gotten to the maps, though I'm starting to figure them out in my head. A little. I need to decide a few things and then just start sketching! Dinner: Dilbert was late. I grabbed ramen after feeding the kids. Just as I finished it, I swiveled my head to tell Tempest something and Dogbert got hold of the bowl, accidentally dropping it to the floor - where it shattered. I asked Tempest to go to her room, put Dogbert in his crib, and started to sweep up the mess. I'd barely started sweeping, when I heard Dogbert screaming - Tempest had climbed into his crib WITH him. Then I tried to explain what she had done that was wrong and finally Dilbert came in from outside and I got help with both kids shrieking. Gave him Dogbert because he was easier to calm, then worked on Tempest. Not sure I got through, but I gave it good effort. I think she's going through something. She asked to go on the potty, and her pull-up was dry, but she wouldn't go on the potty. Still, it's closer than we've been before, because she did that twice today. I didn't eat enough, though i tried, because i didn't munch through quiet time, and then I was so shaky I wobbled on my legs before I finished dinner (which was two pork sandwiches after the ramen). Tomorrow's another day. As long as I don't give up, I'm bound to improve. |
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