I have not written for awhile - but - I am not taking the face to face course @ Gotham - but am taking some other online courses in how to write a haiku, sonnet, acrostic - and how to write meters - it is really hard - since i am more used to free form - I also have started a new job at a law firm as a records clerk - and am enjoying it - though I have a lot of time on my hands to write my poetry - I am lonely a lot = because I do not have a lot of friends - although I am still friendly with my ex - but I miss having somebody to talk to at night = or whenever - I get bored easily - and frustrated - and very sad. - But my writing has been helping me.
 

I have not been so good about entering things into my journal - but what else is new - I am doing OK - my ex and I are at an impasse of sorts - or is that the wrong word - we are trying to be friends - and clean up the mess that was previously caused - my writing is doing OK - I am going to be taking a face to face course @ Gotham in Poetry - and I am continuing with my haiku and acrostic class - so....
 

I have not written for awhile - but.... My ex-boyfriend and I are trying to salvage whatever friendship we had before we became a couple - and that is really nice - not throwing the baby out with the bath water as they say. But this is a good time for me - I am becoming my own person - something that I think a lot of my poetry evokes. I am taking a course in how to write a haiku, as well as acrostic poetry - along with a beginner's course on sonnets - it is rough - I am only used to my free form poetry - but I am really excited about learning this new stuff.
 

Today is Valentine's Day - and it is a good day in that is the second anniversary of me being on this site - I love this site = and I have improved my poetry tremendously - I am taking some online courses = and have taken courses at Gotham - it would be great if I could get published - but I need to get more experience - which is why I like this site and others to network and get opinions of my work = but it is also Valentine's Day = and it is very hard = I keep on thinking of how I could have done things different to salvage my relationship with my ex-boyfriend - he blamed me for the problems in the relationship = and now I am blaming myself - the fact that there was a third person involved does not make things any better = I had introduced him to my then best friend who was gay = and they became best friends = excluding me in ways that I suppose were inevitable - they are not a couple although I fathom my gay friend would have liked it to be = but my ex is not gay - or so he thinks - but this man is more reliable as a friend - we have all had really difficult years - but they want to put the brunt of all the blame on me. Anyway, I am ranting - maybe this will be an impetus for me to move on with my life and do things that I never thought I could do - that is what my ex said when we talked last week - and he was right in that sense - when I was him - my whole life was dictated by him - and that schedule = now I guess I will become more independent.
 

I am feeling a little better = I am still blue about the break up with my ex-boyfriend, but this is giving me a booster to take care of myself - work on the things that are really important to me - my writing - my diet - I am really into Weight Watchers - and making some new friends - I am also going to the gym - but that is hard, so....everybody says that they think I am doing OK - I just wish I could believe it - I am truly grateful for my family here @ WDC - I will be celebrating my second birthday here next week. I am also trying to get hooked up with some publishing venues to see if I can get some of my work looked at - I know I am just a beginner, but - the other thing that I was thinking of doing is going to more readings - I went to one the other night - and I loved it - I got to meet all kinds of poets and artists - it was very rewarding and I felt like I had found a new niche for myself.
 

I registered with another online poetry forum - so that I could take classes in haiku and sonnet writing - really hard, but... - tonight I am going to a poetry reading - and then I will go to more of these - maybe soon I will read my own works - during the next semester - I will maybe take classes in poetry here @ www.writing.com
 

I had some time to write and I thought I could find something good to write - today was not a bad day - I went to my Weight Watchers class - and though I am having a really hard time losing weight - I think I can use that as a muse for my writing. After that, my sister and I got together and she helped me set up my apartment - that was really cool - I am still agitated about my ex-boyfriend - we spoke briefly last night - but, I miss him, and from what I gather, he misses me on some level, but he is at a strange juncture in his life. So I have to learn how not to be a dependent, woman who loves too much - and get lots of interests - I am making some new friends - and am finding new places to read and write poetry - a good networking device.
 

I still feel really agitated = I have cut off ties with my ex-boyfriend - even though it tempts me to call him = just to see how he is doing = how can you stop loving somebody after such a long period of time - we have been friends for so long - but, who knows what tomorrow will bring is what both of my sisters have said - but it still has not calmed me down enough -= I am trying to find other things to focus my life on, but... I just do not want to spend this weekend in bed sulking or being depressed - maybe there is a reason to end it - because he did not feel the same way about me = I do hope that i can write - he was the muse when I was in love with him, when we were together to some extent - and maybe now I could deal with the pain through my poetry.
 

I have not written in a really long time - I have been stressed out - today was almost a really crazy day - one of those Murphy's law days = but anyway it ended with my boyfriend and I breaking up - he is the subject of a lot of my poetry - maybe he will be a different kind of inspiration now - I am relaxed about this on some level - because I have been agitated about it for a while -= we have been friends for so many years - and he wanted to stay friends - I said no. But maybe after time we can - anyway - I can focus on my writing - my Weight Watchers, my work, and my Lucille Roberts
 

Today is the New York Jets playoff game - would it not be great if they made it all the way - tomorrow is Martin Luther King day - what a brilliant man he was - I wonder how he would feel today knowing Obama, albeit all of the problems, was president - something for me to write a poem about -