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 |  Sometime simple, sometimes profound, always truth of some sort |
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What was I thinking? What will I think of next? Where can I hide? ~Ani DiFranco in "Untouchable Face" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I make such a good statistic; Someone should study me now. Somebody's got to be interested in how I feel Just 'cause I'm here And I'm real ~Ani DiFranco in"Fire Door" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Ended up getting a letter stating that I was approved for MediCa** on the 22nd, and that I would be receiving a card in the mai. On the 23rd, got a quick form to fill out to pick a doctor. (Also heard from the case manager: should be ASSIGNED a therapist by the 1st -- then that person will call me to set up an appointment) On the 24th, I got my card. However, it expires on Feb 29th :-/ Not really sure what I'm supposed to do with that... and still don't know what it covers. My case manager from the therapy place told me that you usually get something describing your benefits and payment levels, etc. So, that's good news... except for the fact that like I said, its only good for a month now, since they took so long to approve it and such.. :-/ |
| http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/OnCall/story?id=4133184&page=1 What an interesting article! |
| Did you know you could get directions on how to go from Here to There? Take a little less than 8 hours: (edited - links don't work like that) Anyway, go to Google Maps and type in Here as your starting and There as your ending  Between Now and Then, I plan on:  Burning a letter, writing a letterWriting a poemFinishing a book I started reading months agoDrawing a picture(Interesting, they all have to do with art of some sort...) Anyway, not sure how much of that I will end up getting done... we'll see. |
| STILL don't have a fucking therapist. I started going to this place in the beginning of DECEMBER. The first 3 meetings are with a case manager, just how they do it. A background, then a psych history, then a treatment plan. Even though it was talked about in the first and/or second case manager meeting that I was wanting a therapist, it didn't get sent to the supervisor to do whatever she needs for me to be assigned one until the third session. [And before that, there was a bit of a gap there because they were closed for 2 weeks for Christmas.] Anyway, I was told I would hear back by the end of the week after that last session (but maybe she meant the end of the next week, as my appointment was that Wednesday, if I remember right)... that the therapist I end up getting assigned to would call me to set up an appointment. Well, that would have been the 11th. So, now its a week and a half after *that.* My first session with case manager was over a month-and-a-half ago. :-/ Hell, I got into the PSYCHIATRIST already (with a 2nd appointment already set up... -- and he was great, by the way... very pleasantly surprised!) So, between that... and the fact that I can't really share with anyone right now, not even some of the amazing people who've been here for me HERE, not even Brian ... and the fact that my plans have been sorta thrown askew due to weather and such ........ well, it's damn rough. Oh, and I had applied for medi-somethingsomething benefits about two months ago now. I wouldn't be so frustrated with the wait, except: 1- She told me that it only takes a week (once it is up to me) to get it all taken care of (and that there's 2 or 3 people ahead of me that she had to do...) 2- They don't even have to confirm my medical/disability status cuz I'm on disability 3- This is the 2nd time I'm applying (the first time was denied the same week I was approved for disability, with a note that they didn't find me disabled)... and during this second time, I had to turn my stuff in TWICE cuz they LOST IT the first time (let alone, also put me in the wrong queue, etc a few times, causing me HOURS of extra wait each time...  )While I don't really need to see the doctor at this moment other than through the center for therapy and all that (or hell, I could be seeing someone ELSE by NOW!!)... I really could use a visit to an Occupational Therapist. Not sure if that would be covered, but damn could it help to get some assistance with this sensory stuff... .. .and if this takes much longer, I'm going to need to fill my perscriptions... |
| I haven't been so peacefully blissful ... maybe ever! |
| Taking the time for a moment of beauty. Really taking in the sight of a near-by pond. Focusing on being surrounded by trees during my walk in the woods the other day. Why not share yours.. what beauty will you focus on today? |
| So, I didn't find myself in CA or Vegas or Atlanta or even Wisconsin. Didn't get my Ani tattoo... Didn't get hammered last night and didn't climb that damn tree (because the forest entrance was closed ) So, I'm reverting back to the original plan. I'll be down in central IL tonight and tomorrow and Tuesday morning. Seeing Pen Name  and ♥~HermyKitteh~♥ and Airplane1285 , at least that's the plan. (Was supposed to be down there yesterday, but well, plans change when they involve other people  )Hell, maybe I'll get my tattoo as well So, for those who kinda know what's going on... I'm accounted for until Tuesday  |
| I'm floundering over here... I'm sick of all this! |
http://www.novoiceunheard.org/TicketOrderINDIANPOINT They released more tickets.I want I want! http://www.ourstage.com/entry/SPHZPYVMQQRP-chicken Be afraid, be very afraid -- A song called "Chicken" "I'll run like the dickens, just like a frickin' chicken" Just click it It even has rigor mortis in it! |
| The Bulk: A new year begins. So far, its damn good. Let's hope it keeps up like this! Hell, even if it snows 5 inches every day this year, it will be a good year to continue as it started. I played Monopoly last night.  The one with the credit card instead of paper money. It's sorta a crazy reality of our society.. I must say, I missed the paper! It's not as easy to compare, for one Hard to know where you stand.... Isn't it true about real finances too ...Then I played Fluxx. Damn I love that game. I've resolved to go get Zombie Fluxx. Speaking of resolving, I'm so excited about the Dear Me Contest!  For those who are still reading, comment by the end of the day or whatnot, and I'll send you a random Season Ticket. Starting the year off with a bribe.  What I Did Right Yesterday: I set up to work (2 hours each) on the 31st and 1st. Word Of The Day: Androgynous: 1: having the characteristics or nature of both male and female 2 a: neither specifically feminine nor masculine <the androgynous pronoun them> b: suitable to or for either sex <androgynous clothing> 3: having traditional male and female roles obscured or reversed <an androgynous marriage> Because I can NEVER remember this word when I'm trying to use it. I always find myself using another not-quite-right word instead.... 7730 |
| 2 items of business: 1. My Port Theme: Should I continue with the bouncing theme (that I never actually finished  ) or go to another theme that I've been thinking of lately (Ani!)2. CafePress: If anyone comes up with an idea for another design for my CafePress shops http://www.cafepress.com/aspergersart , let me know. Any designs I end up creating will receive a reward. (Oh, and don't forget: if YOU want to sell, you can too! And, I'd be much appreciative if you listed me as a referral ) |
| For fans of undocked22's blog, this first link is the one that was being mentioned http://youtube.com/watch?v=AaAmlhzELpw It is a song being done in sign language. This guy is amazing! (Rated GC)http://www.20q.net/ It reads your mind!http://www.cafepress.com/buy/banana+vegetarian/-/pv_design_details/pg_1/id_23980... Is that a banana in your pocket?... |
| probably just need to be held that's probably all it is ... little flashing zero on my answering machine rats scratching at my brain brain shuffling its feet yes i have my father's heart it may or may not keep on trying can't really tell you what it is keeps me this side of that dark line ~Ani D "Recoil" Life is really strange some times. I've had so many people come back into my life these past couple weeks. It's great... but it just really ... I don't know, feels so strange being NOW! |
| Teetering... But, I can't choose Option 2 just for everyone else. However, I know I should. |
| points to hesitate on:i need to write.christmas is almost heremy family hates cats |
| Two options: 1. The one I want, yet shouldn't. 2. The opposite of Option 1. Both will cause a disrupt: to myself, to others. Neither are ideal places to be and would be avoided 100% in better circumstances. And an in between: 1 1/2: Distract and delay. Option 1 1/2 seems to be used nearly to its capacity. I'm faced with the necessity of moving, of acting (as in "doing", not as in "pretending" -- which is what my last couple weeks have consisted of.) |
| http://guacfund.org/peteseegeranidifrancoindianpointlegalfund/ Ani concert with an after-show "artists gathering" !!! I might have to... too bad I really shouldn't, can't fully afford it... *twitch* Now, back to the regularly-scheduled blog. |
| As sent in a cNote to someone: I'm not in a place I've ever been before, and it is fucking with me royally... between the incessant internal "you're SPOSED to talk" (translated to: doing something WRONG by not!) and the equally strong "don't say a word!", it is quite tiring... on top of the base of thoughts that I'm not used to in current form. But, I'm not drowning in depression, at least.. I can say that much. But, as such, my mind is clearer. Sounds good on the surface, but taken in with unspoken details, well... might not be... Emotometer: |    |1/2 (overstim)  (On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry7493 |
| Had my final today. Got an A! I must be nuts, as I thought it was the easiest test we had all year! (Though, my classmates didn't seem to agree..) Unfortunately, for the expressive part, only 30 seconds of my 18minute+ of recording saved!! So, I have to go back and re-do. *frustrated!* Oh well... I'm in a bit of a strange place right now. Just about the most desperate as I have ever been, but also just about the patient. ... Thanks to everyone who has signed up for "Invalid Item"  and to those who have granted wishes. I really need this positive focus and wonder.Oh, (especially) to those of you outside the US (but really anyone in the US as well): I am piloting the international version of Pinger. (A free service that sort of combines text messaging and voice messaging, with only needing to call a local number. It is really cool for sending more than one person a message at a time.. and awesome in my case when I went to send a quick message, as I don't have a text message package... and everything incoming through my comapny is free. Anyway, so if anyone wants to Pinger me, let me know !Emotometer: |1/2|1/2(see )|1/2+(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry7452 |
| The Bulk: What's with people not having the kindness to call? Yesterday, I had work 1-4... but the family wasn't there. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but that meant leaving Pen Name 's house (rushing!!) at 10:30am and then driving 80mph. It turns out that the mom had forgotten about parent-teacher conferences and as such sent the earlier respite worker home early... and hadn't notified the agency. I guess she was very busy with all her kids (5 or 6, including a toddler and autistic twins!) but isn't not like this was planned months ago -- it was just set up last week!And then today, I had therapy at 11 and she wasn't there. This is the 3rd (or maybe 4th) time! Once, she had her secretary call, but she called the wrong area code. Once she had the wrong time down. This time, I haven't a clue! Well, at least I was able to be productive with my time: I went over to the used book store and bought a bunch of well, books I can't help but think of those babysitting positions I was supposed to have where suddenly there is just no returned calls... and the "friends" who never call me back and never can make time for me. *sigh* Well, now that I'm done whining... I slept with my cats last night. It was great... except for the whole "in the basement" thing and the whole "not really a bed" thing. They are hilarious little beasts! What else? I can't wait for Season Tickets to start again! I hear it is going to be HUGE!! Have you ever had an Uncrustable? They're way more expensive than they ought to be, but they're damn good... and you can even put them in the toaster! What I Did Right Yesterday: I went to the bookstore (and stayed safe) when my therapist wasn't in during my appointment. Site Of The Day: ViewPoints: http://www.bzzagent.com//p/6407814390/flywithme I found this site through iGive.Com, that I mentioned in my last blog. If you write 5 reviews of any products or web sites, $5 is donated to charity. I'm not sure all the specific details, though... And, then today, I was on BzzAgent and I saw that this site was in the Frog Pond... I'm really enjoying ViewPoints: Like I said, you review products and such with a star rating, pointing out the pros and cons, whether you would recommend it to someone else, and also a narrative review (250 characters+). And hey - if you decide to become a BzzAgent and check it out, there is an extra incentive!!! But, even before I knew that, I already planned to visit again. Enjoy it! Emotometer: |1/21/2 (sensory!)1/2 (hunger)|?(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry7397 |
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((Tigger)) Welcome back! It's SO wonderful to see you, and to read such an awesome blog entry about your life! 
