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 |  Sometime simple, sometimes profound, always truth of some sort |
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What was I thinking? What will I think of next? Where can I hide? ~Ani DiFranco in "Untouchable Face" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I make such a good statistic; Someone should study me now. Somebody's got to be interested in how I feel Just 'cause I'm here And I'm real ~Ani DiFranco in"Fire Door" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| The Bulk On today's agenda: *Read some of Cat's Eye *Request copies of my W2s *ReDo my goal list ("Invalid Item"  )*Put my clean laundry away *Add to "1 Thing I Did Right Today" list *Figure out how to look up other instances of emotions not being attached to past memories; see if there is a possibility to change this 1 Thing I Did Right: I started this list when I was inpatient last month... but have been missing days lately. So, maybe writing it in my blog will help me remember to actually do it! So without further delay, yesterday's "right" (I did two since I hadn't done this in almost 2 weeks): I didn't have a panic attack at the Public Aide office. AND I spoke up when I had a different view of things at the QYC staff meeting and didn't shut down when others opposed me. Site Of The Day: Front Street Reviews: http://www.frontstreetreviews.com/ Someone on BookCrossing showed me this site (I believe they run it.) You sign up to be a reviewer (by submitting a sample book review of the book of your choice.) If you're chosen, you get books to keep in exchange for your 500+ word review. Item Of The Day:
Another day admittedly light on reviews... but enjoy this poem of fixing some food. Emotometer:   |        (On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6562 |
| The Bulk Volunteering at the fest this weekend was great. They had a few animals there that people could sign up to adopt (but couldn't bring home that day, partly because the booth was right across from the beer tent exit) So, I got to pet kitties and puppies and convince people to "Pluck a Duck for a Buck" (try saying THAT 5x fast without fucking up) Now THAT is my kind of volunteering. And, today I'm helping out with Recording For The Blind And Dyslexic. I'm an editor there, so basically I listen to a tape of a book and mark down any errors I hear. Did I mention about my dog? He has these lumps under his neck that the vet found on his last checkup. She took a sample and sent it the lab. Well, it came back that they had reptillion (ie from a reptile) cells in them. She said that there's no way the specimin could have been contaminated... and also said that she has no clue what it means. So, Prancer is turning into a lizard. Wooh! (Or aligator?) If you're about to eat, sorry about this next piece... it surely made ME lose my appetite... My brother made a shake yesterday: Cocoa Puffs, Milk, Ice Cubs, and... GRAPEFRUIT JUICE. All blended together. Item Of The Day: A slow day for reviews, but I found something really neat:
It's done, at least for the first round... but it looks like it was a blast. If only I saw it BEFORE my trek to bed. Site Of The Day: BookCrossing: http://members.bookcrossing.com/r/9e2398be8ffa102a8555 I've shown this to some of you... so bear (bare?  ) with me...I love this site. A Writing.Commer showed it to me a few years back... and while I'm not always actively posting on the stie or releasing books, I always come back to it. So here's what you do: You take a book that you own and are done with, register it on the site so it gets an ID number, mark that down with a little blurb in the book, and then release it: either give it to someone or leave it somewhere for somemone to randomly find. That person then hopefully will go to bookcrossing and make a journal entry and release the book again. So, you get to track the book wherever it goes (provided journal entries are made.) The idea is to make the whole world a library. ENJOY! (I'm bflybabe on there.) Word Of The Day: From "The Ultimate Summer Blockbuster" [13+] by Davy Kraken  Bare Infinitive - I'm not going to attempt to put this into my own words. Look yourself: http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/grammar/learnit/learnitv226.sh... Emotometer |(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6492 |
| The Bulk Oh... I can eat tofu!!! Most of you don't know that there was a few weeks there that I couldn't due to medication.... but now I can again! And pickles and olives and wine and beer and all that other stuff that I couldn't have while on the higher dose of my medication. (Well, I was only on the higher dose for a few days, but expected to go back up to it...) So, yes... I have my protein source back!  And speaking of eating.... how do you people do it? Geez! It's really hard to do this 3-meal thing... especially with 2 (admittedly smallish) snacks and 30 oz of Gatorade. I hate that I have to eat when I'm not hungry. And, it is hard to make a meal that really fits what I'm sposed to eat. I end up having to prepare lots of little parts. Which, I guess isn't too weird, now that I think of it. It's just strange to me. What else? Does this sound strange to anyone else: A local park district puts on a haunted housed (for Halloween) every year. I haven't ever been, so I can't say how good it might be.... but I probably would be scared even if it sucks  The first volunteer meeting for constructing the project was 2 days ago. Sounds like a long time for volunteers to be working on a haunted house, doesn't it?! My plans for the most of today are volunteering for the local animal shelter... but at local fest. I'm looking forward to it. Item Of The Day
Written for Writer's Cramp, this story is an enraged conversation between computer and owner. Site Of The Day Care.Com -- http://www.bzzagent.com/p/1484600756/flywithme Here is another site I found through the FrogPong on BzzAgent.Com. This site connects people with babysitters, senior care providers, petsitters (or dog walkers, etc), and tutors. Browsing the listings is free. Posting a listing is free (I believe both for those seeking services and those seeking employment...) The site even offers background checks on any member, so you know you're safe. (But there is a monthly charge for that.) I have signed up as a child care provider, tutor, and petsitter. Enjoy! Emotometer ||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6463 |
| The Bulk I haven't updated in a quite a while. The life events I was alluding to before: getting arrested, having my car impounded, overdrawing my checking account, cops bursting in the house looking for me (that goodness I wasn't there), my therapist telling me she wouldn't see me any more, a friend telling me I was too much, being kicked out of the place I was staying (at least I was already deciding to leave), moving back in with my parents, not knowing if I could keep my cats..... well, it truly all became more than I could take and I admitted myself to the hospital (June 22.) Well, I was inpatient for 15 days (on 3 different units!) Nowadays, that's a LONG time... The typical stay for someone coming in suicidal is 3-5 days. After inpatient discharge, I've been doing one of the outpatient programs... and yesterday was my last day. So, that's my time in a nutshell. Oh, I have myspace now. If anyone wants to know, I'm aniaddict there. Site Of The Day Every entry I write, I'll try to bring you a new Site Of The Day (and bring back a few things I did a while back: Word Of The Day and -wdc- Item Of The Day) So, without further delay.... here is today's Site Of The Day: Zafu: http://www.bzzagent.com/p/6998097990/flywithme It's a pretty neat site where you answer a few questions and then it tells you which jeans (or bras) will fit you best. I haven't yet tried the suggestions it gave me to see how accurate it is, so I can't vouch for accuracy. If you try it, let me know |(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6400 |
| Sorry - I forgot to share this with you: http://www.afterellen.com/people/2007/6/hotlist?page=0,0 It's a list of the hottest women, rated by lesbians. Do you agree with the list? If not, who do you find hottest. For me it's Drew Barrymore and Shane from The L Word |
| Jellyfish This whole conversation was prompted in Scroll this morning when someone mentioned liking Finding Nemo. Well, I have some "interesting" associations with that movie. Whenever I watch or think of it, I immediately think of sex. It all started because I was watching the movie with a friend of mine. Partway through, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other any longer. Funny thing is that she told her boyfriend when he came home from work that night, and he was there wondering what he missed when HE watched it  So I was telling this via IM to novusfemina. And when I said that it wasn't the sea creatures, she mentioned that I never know... friend may have a thing for jellyfish. Well, you never know -- they DO look like pussies! I REALLY am a lesbian (in case there were any doubts) After a night with a guy friend of mine... and then a very sexy online experience with a not-guy, I can say that I definately am a lesbian... in case anyone had ANY doubt. The whole guy thing just isn't quite exciting. Now, attach a dildo to a girl and do the same thing, and ... well, the results are very different (Now, don't ask about how that started all started cuz I don't really know. Complicated relationship?) Dyke march!!! I just realized a couple days ago... it's June... and you know what that means? Pride month!! And the best part of gay pride month is the day-before-the-parade DYKE MARCH!! I am excessively fuckin excited! If you're interested, here's a link: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=182529... Therapy So, I was writing my upcoming therapy appointments down in my planner at the end of my last therapy session and flipped over the page with the Dyke March, letting out a little squeal of delight. I told her that I have a march coming up. She asked what it was about. I told her we'd talk about that at a later time. Now, I'm nto really a closeted person... but this lady is not just a therapist... she's just been ordained or something by the Catholic church. She's a minister thing. So, i'm a little concerned about coming out to her... but I really don't care if she doesn't 'approve'... so long as she is professional about it. Closing, Unrelated Topics: I'll be gone this weekend. It is a reunion for the residental treatment center I went to a few years back. I'm excited! And, soon I'll be doing word-of-the-day and favorite reviewed item again! (Edited to correct user: link) || (slight hunger pains) (?)(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6261 |
| going to the zoo today with work. Just realized that I have to figure out what I'm going to be doing with lunch Too early and I'm too messed up to think of that sorta thing.But regardless, I look forward to this trip. Hopefully it isn't too stressful... ||||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6176 |
| I got a call back from my old sign instructor. I called her, wondering where a good program was for getting certified in Sign Interpretation. She responded with a community college and let me know that this school is the best in the state... and that it's a two-year program. Well, it turns out that it is a two-year program... AFTER getting fluent in ASL. *sigh* But, that still didn't crush my dreams. Anyway, I looked out the Occupation Outlook book online and saw that interpreters don't make as much as I thought. Not that money is everything, but if I'm going to 3-4 years of classes to get certified, it would be nice to make more... *sigh* Really makes me wonder if I should follow this career path.... and if I don't, I'm left not knowing WHAT to do.... |
| Today is to be a day of rest. I don't feel like going to the party I was supposed to. Or planting like I was asked to yesterday. I'm tired, not wanting to exert the energy to be around people, and don't want to plant wrong. So, I propose staying in. Unfortunately, that means I'll be alone today. Maybe I'll go to my parents' place (but I doubt it.) Oh, while I'm resting, enjoy "Invalid Item" |||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6096 |
| How's this for 'idiot': I was cooking yesterday (mock crab cakes... turned out delicious, btw). Used the blender to 'whirl' bread into breadcrumbs... and well, needed to keep pushing the big pieces down. At one point, I was 'smart' enough to use my hand while it was still going. Damn am I lucky to still have 10 fingers... just got a little cut on one of my fingers. |(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6029 |
| So... nearly a month off work... back for about a week... and it is still kinda hard. While I was off work, though, I gave out bananagrams. And, I even got one in return.  If you've never done it, you should: take a banana and write on it with a ballpoint pen. You can even make a banana phone if you want! It's fun to write messages to people and give them to those people. hehe What else? Oh... I started volunteering at an animal shelter. I love it there... Really feel like I'm doing something good. And there's cute cute cats.Oh, and despite the fact that I've been having dreams about it, I am NOT pregnant. (That sure would be 'something', though...) And, finally, I'm going to try to apply for disability. I think that's it for now I'll try to update more often. Oh, oh... I am also doing a book club at an amaing bookstore. This month's book is "Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity" or something like that. And NEXT month's book (oooh oooh oooh!) is "The Handmade's Tale" That is my all-time favorite book ||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry6020 |
| Hey guys -- I think it's time for another "Invalid Item" . I'm hoping to start another chain by the end of next week. That's a huge undertaking since the group right now has less than 3,000 Gift Points (needing 100,000 Gift Points to start a chain.) Anyway... any donations sent to "Invalid Item" (1112131) between now and the end of tomorrow will be matched-and-a-half by me (up to 50,000 GPs per donation on my end)|||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry5901 |
| I'm doing what I'm supposed to: going out pampering myself (went to a LUSH party today) sleeping (sure, sleeping a bit much... but I couldn't function with less last night...) eating doing things interacting with people avoiding some situations that would tempt me to be destructive having dessert being out in the fresh air writing down what's going on any other suggestions for positivity?? Hmmm... maybe I should run Round 2 of Points and Positivity??? What do you think? |||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry**Ask book_worm why I chose a flower here 5898 |
| 10 days after the last entry... I guess I'll stop those pesky "Update Your Blog" notifications... and actually POST something. I'll make it boringly simple mundane cuz you probably don't want to know what's really going on... So... right now, my cats have more energy than chihuahuas on espresso! You should see then chase each other through the place... and last night, they were wrestling in my crotch...  At least they get their exercise and have fun. |||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry**Ask book_worm why I chose a flower here 5879 |
| So... I got the results of the brain scan. There is nothing that needs surgery or anything... But through the test, I learned that the increased blood blow to the specific areas of my brain typically causes the following symptoms: *Decreased affect control (or something like that) *'mood swings' from very hyper to very depressed *Increased anxiety and OCD thoughts *Medication (and not just psych meds) doesn't have an effect (or at least not much of one...) And maybe there was a few other things... not sure... But it is nice to see that there's some of a 'physical' cause to things... ... but doesn't sound like there's anything to do about it... ||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry**Ask book_worm why I chose a flower here 5859 |
| New fundraiser/gift exchange coming up... And, you guys are the first to officially know about it.... even though it isn't officially set up yet! So... Sunday March 18th I will be hosting a Gift Exchange that will benefit Wild Card Review and ???. Details to come later... look forward to it! Today's been a crazy day at work... not bad... just all over the place. I was not in on place for a period longer than an hour! I started in a kindergarten room Then spent 45 mins in H's room 45 mins in T's room 30 mins in P's room 30 mins for lunch 15 mins in T's room 60 mins in H's room 50 mins in B's room and then last 30 or so in H's room again But, it was fun. And I got fries LOL! So, now that I bored you about my day... moving on... The contest I'm hosting ends today. I had a lot of fun with it... can't wait to really see all the entries. Judging's going to be DIFFICULT!Word Of The Day cur 1. a dog considered to be inferior/undesirable (a mongrel) 2. a base or cowardly person Favorite Item I think I did a grand total of 1 review yesterday. So, my favorite reviewed item: It's a fun lil game. |(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry**Ask book_worm why I chose a flower here 5832 |
| A friend of mine signed up yesterday. Wooh! Check her out gillian22 (hehe Jill... I'm talking about you... at least I didn't mention that conversation about dental dams... oooops!) Moving on.... help send good vibes for a SNOW DAY today. (Yeah, I doubt it, too... but I can dream, right?) Well.... no luck in that -- in the middle of writing this entry, I got a call from my boss telling me where I'd be working today. And, now for Word Of The Day This one was in an item I read yesterday in Pen Name  's portfolio.myrrh aromatic resin that is burned as incense and used in perfume And, Items Of The Day I did 16 reviews yesterday... so I can't pick just one. I will limit it to 2 or 3, though.
I liked this one enough to give it an awardicon. This is a young author, 15 years old.
This is a piece by a close friend of mine. I love how she describes things with 'foody' adjectives "lime, cinammon"
After reading the item above, I saw it was in Lexi  's contest... so I went searching for more with that same title. This one showed on the list. And for a lesbian to enjoy something mentioning the cock... well it's gotta be good!||||(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry**Ask book_worm why I chose a flower here 5808 |
| cornmeal cornmeal cornmeal cornmeal |
I'm being crafty! I bought fabric and thread a few days ago... Now I just need to learn how to sew  I have plans in the works to make a 'bean bag blanket'. I thought of it on my own  Go me! Often, weighted blankets have just a line of weights every so often... and I find that to be annoying, so I'm making on that has less weights in more places. If it turns out, I may try to sell a couple... *shrug*Have I mentioned lately that I love LUSH! Today I used one of the shampoo bars that I got on the 15th... every time I use it, I am amazed at how well it suds, how good it feels, and how clean my hair really does get with it... not to mention how yummy it smells! (Advertisement Over.) WORD OF THE DAY: I had so many fun words that I considered using for today... felching (I kept forgetting the meaning of that), frottage (I love how it is pronounced)... but I'm deciding to stick with something a little less GC... at least for now jettison (verb) 1. to cast (goods) overboard in order to lighten a vessel or aircraft to improve its stability in an emergency. 2. discard (objects, cards) ITEMS OF THE DAY: (again, I couldn't pick just one... so here's two for your enjoyment)
|(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry**Ask book_worm why I chose a flower here 5790 |
| Just got home from that training. I learned a few things that I never knew. Maybe someone out there would find some of this interesting: *crabs can jump 20 feet *flavored lube and condoms are for 'sucking, not fucking' (ie they should NOT go in the body... can cause nasty infections due to the sugar.) *to sterilize a needle (which you really shouldn't do) that hasn't been used with oil-based things, use 1 part bleach, 1 part hot water. spray it through the needle 3x. If sterilizing a needle used for something oil-based (horomones and steroids) first use a dish soap and hot water mixture. THEN do the water/bleach thing. *you can buy up to 20 needles from a pharmacy... but pharmacists have the right to not sell them if they choose not to. *only 2% of the blood donated in the US is ever used. *syphilis sores are the size of a quarter and very icky looking... but they don't hurt (this is the primary stage of syphilis) *Al CaPone died of syphilis *kids pass parasites all the time. *antibiotics make 'the pill' not work... for that month AND the next month! So much more... but that's a little taste for all of ya... Feel free to ask questions ?(On a scale of 0 to 10) -happy -sad -silly -mad -overwhelmed-physically sick/in pain -anxious/scared/worried -tired -hungry**Ask book_worm why I chose a flower here 5783 |
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((Tigger)) Welcome back! It's SO wonderful to see you, and to read such an awesome blog entry about your life! 
