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 |    10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind |
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I’m disabled by more than blindness. Writing: Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance in life. Pretty medallions sought for words/my soul, slow burnt. Full of misdirects, right back at the start, but still quest with thirst. Life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit uglier. Minced words too pungent. If they take time to notice, must be doing something right. scripturam in hoc non mutamus, quia stultus es et differentiam nescies. (hic) The beautiful mess you made: I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost | I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. - me Neurodivergent poet seeks love without that fart in the room between us. Honesty without mincing words has come with a price for those juggling the hot my takes on what’s ‘truth’ (here’s some oven mitts). Best to stay clear of those surrounded by moat rules. Real dialogue is accepted. Wasn’t as open at first about recent diagnosis on spectrum with ADHD (complicated by PTSD, life of brain traumas). Been suggested by doctors of late I might want another brain scan (since 12/4/17…blogged). This poet’s words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The experience of discovery through writing is the truest reward that has allowed me to grow and learn who/what I am — what other people get naturally, immediately, while I stomp around in it. Been blessed, but pushing it — envelope, world and all inhabitants away. Push buttons, find boundaries to trip traps. No clue why cat curiosity, living in your dark. (Bored, perhaps?) Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me how I need to be viewed (if I knew what that was). Cryptic, yes. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid strange, virtual, wonderful walls that tower above, tempt me to scale. Been more than I could imagine or expect here. But, achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall  . I dig deeper than I should, often without forethought. Aimless words, brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit targets? Get a ‘back off’ shoulder shot when asking your motivations here. Not fair?No prize to eye; not incentivized. Dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do best with what’s in hand. My Pluggers: You are an icon here.  You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.  It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Poetic Referendum(s) On Life"  Your poetic muse is on fire!  Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal.  Published four times with one a literary journal, including…  "The Tender Core (Sedona)"  I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.   ![Merit Badge in Taboo Words
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Brian,
Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659].
I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Taboo_Words-2139481_13.gif) ![Merit Badge in Poetry
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Thanks you for supporting the [Link To Item #power] with an order to the [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/type-Poetry-2180.gif)  August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼
No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼  Now: I was such a whore.  This is old….What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on. Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting. If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I? …just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.    What Was NEW Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily. Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.  #amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY? Mud 4 My Eye:  Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼ |
| Burning With Time Not the shimmer of gold-leafed monuments, Nor handsome silver outlive beauteous rhyme. Your crystal shines, less bright in these contents, Stoic as stone smoothened by churn of time. Crumbling statues etched with lonely concern, On masonry made, seem ordinary. But with trembling sword, a quick fire did burn Eternal record of your memory. Eroded visions shine eternal doom, Rising to meet lonely wanderer’s eyes. Set forth, your praises fill a Sultan’s tomb, Hopeful, as posterity seeks the skies. Written on blue vault, true romantic blue, Only time knows how my heart burns for you. 2.6.22 Sonnet We cannot know if memorialized love will last, but look to the sky that fills with stars and mark time. |
| Like your finger deep in my full red wine, your skin wets to sample, your eyes linger, never leave my wondering — will you taste anything more? Is burgundy bitter, beginning to turn with age? Who couldn’t savor, yet you are not at my cup? Long ago, a moment replayed — hope when a vine was not fully mature. And though we desired something cheap, imbibed enough for one to forget. Now that I’m hardy, you could tip my glass to your lips. I’ll pour it out, with nothing else to offer but the last draught from a dusty, green vessel. The vineyard produces much more, but I’m afraid none spared ever again for me. 2.2.22 written to: "Say Something" |
| I had empathy for the love starved before I was underfed could not find a trough next to yours now will a gold, engraved plate to dine on their tender mercies whenever you need when suddenly I realized how my father felt. But what is this? Why do I still starve? 2.2.22 |
| With a finger waggled, she can get all the love I need. With a wink or sad expression, she has them eating out of her paw — while I, who humanly hungers, learns to curb craving while starving of affection in the darkness of sadness — yearning to reach out, feel human touch, but know if I approach, they will revile the slothsome judged unworthy. I could give comfort to her to heal myself. She knows and denies me that, slowly suffocating, killing me, a prisoner of shame and guilt — burden from mother saddles a weak soul in savaged form savoring small scraps alone. pathetic creature collects to survive in obliterated, cold space like any incipient void would. I don’t cry out because you will point out what is akin to bitterness — your final, manipulative move to know you own all in my world that i need to survive. 2/2/22 |
| When you’re small, trees shadow you, buildings, the tall boys and parents. When you seek inner strength, they ply that highway, too — mind and soul and heart. Long shadow on you, block light, look down, those faces don’t let a small boy up from the dirt. But, the trees, you climb closer to the sun, filtered, legs strong, with arms and hands that grip — before long realization supplied by nature informed — the strength to jump down, ready for a fight and see fright as they flee. Now alone, an eternity in mind with a crown of leaves. 1.31.22 |
| 1st Place, January, Taboo Words The whitest, palest dreams drift on this medium staring up at me, as if 'when you gonna go?' Taunting. The world waits for no dreamer, cast adrift on past memories, 'when you gonna quit?' Reliving. Hollow clouds furl, separate, reform on the palest vault staring down, as if 'you waste too much time here.’ Idling. Plucky birds that dare winter in trees fly away, as if mocking me in song, 'when will you soar again?' Mimicking all the songs, all the horizon's offerings, all the world spares, every dream dreamt. Where's motivation, can't compel these limbs? Where's desire, can't feel the beating thing? The whitest, palest scene is adrift. The medium on flat surface decays every moment this world spins further away, as the clouds reconstruct no matter what. Nature is outside waiting, no one to play. When will you search, reach. It flies away? Blank as a page. 1.31.22 23 lines, free verse For Taboo Words: A Blank Page fresh clean new promise resolutions or any derivatives I have no purpose if I don't employ it. |
| Colorless, my brain seems to tattoo images and symbols, expressions of beliefs. Yet somehow, I cannot stain you, but stare and dream of original expressions they would witness, that would move them. But how to move others, when I cannot move? Your purity like snow draws my eye, my ache fingers idle. You could be my canvas that does not invite the chalk etchings of my mind. I am better than clichés and yet not creative enough. Before I can write, I must walk. And when I walk I must go outdoors. But instead I look out this window and imagine, dream of myself in another world dawning. That is where this page needs to begin. Maybe, this life was wasted? I look into my heart and see if I can write this. I pick up my instrument, purge. Made public 2.21.22 without edit, still rough, lacking detail |
 ![Merit Badge in Shadows and Light
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Hi Brian,
Congratulations! You placed 3rd in [Link To Item #shadows] with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1025726].
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Shadows_and_Light-1936078_14.gif) I dreamt in snow, one thick sock curled under heel, sweat skin absorbed inside brown, thermal boot. A lone child bundled in winter gear drew the coldest, freshest air, puffed like a wingless dragon. A small body rejuvenated by winter, realized a blank sky devoid -- nothing staring down at nothing staring up. Silence. White drifts cradled a tender body, play-acting some miniature, mental drama. Endless, small eyes, sheltered and blinded, viewed a small sun skittering across the horizon, lowering in noticeable increments if you dared. Gray particles crept amid bare, frozen ghosts, hid beneath heaped eaves, seeped vapid, dry air, as if unsuspected by a child wanting to know where colors of autumn were buried, while yearning her firm yet loving call to action: Dinner! I dreamt warmth, heavy garments peeled to the rug, unfrozen, slogged, seeping into the uneven planks of a paler house. Joy in winter fluff, merely fantasies remembered -- bone-chilled rejuvenation saturated a growing, red heart, still throbbing echoes lifelong, and still dreams her call. 1/31/22 24 lines, free verse celebrating 1969-72, the true wonder winter years, in absentia |
| Two sides — one often unused, one soiled and crumpled with bad aim lies in dust gathering near a steel receptacle. I grasp a discarded truant, smooth and recycle a forgotten, partially used master, rebuild the dream with black slate honed and angled, plying the thin blue lines. Elegant cursive dances with a poet’s eye agleam, fashion these thoughts again on a new stage, new scene — begin again, write this vision true, with the other side bearing your weight, graphite singing best a new song. 1.27.22 26 lines, free verse For Taboo Words? |
| Awake and snoring Every word boring, I know. Blathering, is that me Or the television quaking Disaster after catastrophe? Should I get up, Put pants on for you, at my door Uninvited? And now who's the bore? Uncouth, trouserless, Have I brushed my teeth, my hair To welcome you near? La, la, la, la Lah-lah Blah, blah, blaw, bla... Better get up, get to bed. I have an appointment with death. The borrowed become cliche. 1/27/22 Five minute write to another, nameless song, artist |
| Sound reflects Echoes in the learned soul. Feelings long ago lost Reanimated, pleasantly replayed. Thank you yesterday. Born again to A parentless nucleus, A lone atom hums Looking for further proof I once existed In another body, Bonded by a bed, Reverberating generational. Nothing To clasp with Two empty, withering hands. Purpose? Reason to write? Send electronic notes To the void I call my universe? Lay in my crib, Close ailing eyes Begging, Dream another day? Written to Glass Animals 'Gooey' Finished by song's end. Dare edit later? Who dares disturb this groove...? Oh. |
| It's cement Cast and anchored Over my head Forever or until A planet squashed By a big boomerang Snap back Crush these bones In an instant As I clutch you In frames adorning A vision I cannot reanimate But in dreams And who needs The 'what ifs' anyways Turned sideways To the carpet Then down deeper Digging my hole Before the boomerang. 1.27.22 Written in the time it took Fisher to sing, "I Will Live You" You won't know where to pause Unless I edit But then It wouldn't be the same Would it? |
| Pot Of Hope I know we're supposed to whisper -- but we left him in the hall. why spend $9.95 to have him when we don't think of him at all. Midday, lone shaft of light angles to reach over the rail into the corner where he lays alone, you on the phone, me in my mind wandering to and from this place. He could be be so pale, no love but neglect of a dream of ownership, the promise in a bucket with a brilliant, little sticker adorning his crib, now coffin, in this less cozy, little home. Did my dream become his, to produce and reproduce, give love we had, serve a couple in need of a little more ambience, like potpourri burning nasal passages to connected brain, no memory just credit to buy an affordable, middle class pot of hope? Death was long before adoption, a struggle for light, and taste for a drop of tap water in nutrient-rich dirt -- lifelong nap, not a rare colored iris will wink awake in the dead of these nights. 1.27.22 I think we're all destined to dream of something unrealistic for just $9.95, today... delusionally waste time, invoke it into mind-f'd reality. A little dream of ownership with no skills to cultivate life. It sounds harsh: but, fuck everybody for imposing their reality into mine... especially, the ignorant sentimental fools who are not awake tonight. (Sad I must disclaimer: metaphorically, not literally...if you even know the difference from...nevermind. Point made?) |
| The tender heart of you bleeds for a purpose. My ears ache to savor labored Words pain. My hands want to feel the dark heart throbbing. My eyes aim penetrate the most guarded soul. You solidly look up. Steady, I do not shudder. Your pain lives in me now in deepest recesses. You can access any part of me, share our blood. Resistant, you do not trust the likes of me. I'll sing my sorrow for another tomorrow knowing I absorb these disturbed visions with no egress out. My arms would wrap you like blooming vines, but Nothing grows in the dark where you are now. A little sunlight will creep over the hedge between us, One day, hopefully two flowing through one another. 1.20.22 Just stream on consciousness with discipline to craft a hopeful poem. |
| I could write you a eulogy every night, Pack away those tiny words in tiny type -- Click, click, clack away a story Hidden from all those redirected eyes. The steel writer gathers dust, rust. The black ribbon unspooled stains a blank page like murder scene clues. The detectives all look the other way. I'm dead here anyway, tall grass grave With interlaced daisies bright on dry blood. I had many years, many chances, But chose to piddle it all away -- A brain masturbating itself into decay, The rotting gray in numb skull withered. I scrawled my random messages on walls: White on white, black on black, now blue, As green layered by white seals my fate -- A corpse on this hard lawn, composting. When spring arrives, words fully absorb. You could ask anyone, I was never here. An obit didn't run, a toll for words spun, unpaid. Ask the editor if he keeps me in a Manila file. 1.20.22 I really don't know. Tap, tap, tap and then... |
| Images hammered on the canvas, dark. But not good enough to attend. Devoid a life promised, I bust the medium. Reimagined words spurred by rampage Stain all who near the re-creation. Why didn't they tell me, no wit, You cannot change an atom? Blood purged -- collected and flushed. Hands bandaged -- heal with time. One day the sun re-arrives From perfect vantage in glowing pane -- A perfect instant -- and I knew Hopeful creativity had purpose again. 1.8.22 Never say never, just maybe, later. |
| I’ll be dead tomorrow. Give me a ride aboard your flaming craft, kicked away from silent shore, adrift wherever the tide should go. Vacuous elements in observance soothe a scene. But absent, a shadow of soul in grey-fog reverie. I could die tonight on starched-tight linen where I linger many weeks. Scoop me up in your arms at dawn. Hope the sun appears. Soak me in kerosene. Burn me with oars beside. Give an old tub purpose first glimmer of morning light. Singe my last hair, cast adrift for any horizon until sunk — flamed out, black ash, lead weight. In hidden harbor, buried there, I’ll be dead tomorrow. No eulogies sung or needed. 1.5.21 1.7.22 and 2.3.22 edit Made up while listening to Frou Frou in my Covid quarantine funk, day three. |
| Solemnly run, predictive models of outcomes measured by gut punches — reactions to the likes of you, sneering, who eye, approach a solemn figure recalculating the models, wondering if I can trust your ‘sort.’ Experience taught uninformed me to become cynic, who you plead drop the gloves, let guard down. Well, since you implore, it must be safe. Flinchingly, I behave like a fool, a precedent having already been set, as outcomes form from the calculator treating Math as an emotional subject. 12.30.21 |
If I could boil it down to a few words that illuminate, I would If I could write it down with the briefest definition, I would try If I could show you how I feel in just one expression, I would try emote, but, so many vistas to follow, so many stars in my eyes I often have to wait until the darkest night to get the truest vision to share with you, if you haven't tired of being at my side If I could, I would maybe, I have 12.29.21 perhaps, you have visions of your own that I haven't taken the time to listen no, I did |
| my heart could be a drum you beat upon my soul clangs as my engine sputters no brakes, no steering down this street careening off the curb, headed for your house the shrubs could rip at the root flowers strewn across a hopeful garden because you could be the piston's percussion a mechanic with a wrench rachets the tight bearings of something hoping to disconnect my assembly before I drive straight into the living room of your lovely home. does love mean having the patience for something, someone built with good intention, wheeled to ride a winding road leading to your welcoming garage door, before i could separate from this machine, unlike the cyborg still coupled to beating, the rhythm of something that tells me depart and roll these hills and valleys to meet with a mechanic who could help me restore all the purpose the machine was intended for. why run-on poems like these? show the desperation to express something before interjection? could someone measure the length of these expressions? 12.29.21 |
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— 21
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![Merit Badge in Shadows & Light II
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Brian,
Congratulations! You won 1st Place in [Link To Item #shadows] with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1037176]. Fabulous writing!
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Shadows_=38_Light_II-1936078_14.gif)
— 9
MAY 
37![Merit Badge in Coffee Award
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Congratulations on placing 2nd in [Link To Item #2182602] with your poem, [Link to Book Entry #1031722]. *^*Coffeeo*^* Kindest Regards, Lilli](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Coffee_Award-2149524_14.gif)
APRIL 
![Merit Badge in Humorous Poetry Contest
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Congratulations on the third place win at [Link To Item #hpc] for your poem: [Link to Book Entry #1030482]. Thanks for making me laugh, and keep writing the funny stuff! *^*Bigsmile*^* ~Lornda A.K.A. The Queen of Comedy *^*Crown*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Humorous_Poetry_Contest-1875103_14.gif)
MARCH 
![Merit Badge in Contests
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CONGRATULATIONS for winning 2nd place in [Link To Item #2254385] !!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Contests-235.gif)
![Merit Badge in WDC Media Prompt
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Thank you for your participation in the 48-HOUR CHALLENGE: " Thank You by Dido ." Media Prompt hosted by [Link To User support] March 2022! We appreciate that you tackled this challenge... *^*Smile*^* *^*Thumbsupl*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/WDC-WDC_Media_Prompt.gif)
![Merit Badge in Good Things Take Time
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Here's to a world where we wouldn't have to keep reciting the words woven in your excellent poem [Link to Book Entry #1027990].](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Good_Things_Take_Time.gif)
![Merit Badge in Gay Lesbian
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Thank you so much for your poem [Link to Book Entry #1026670]! Please don’t ever stop being you, both as a writer and a visionary of love!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Gay_Lesbian-680.gif)
JANUARY 
18
![Merit Badge in Quill Award
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Congratulations on winning Best Medium-Length Poem, Free Verse in the 2021 edition of The Quills!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Quill_Award-1375927_6.gif)
![Merit Badge in Quill Sponsor
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Thank you for your generous donation to [Link To Item #quillhome] ! *^*Quill*^* Every donation is used to celebrate WdC while recognizing quality work and acknowledging community involvement. Kindest Regards, Lilli](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Quill_Sponsor-1375927_6.gif)
![Merit Badge in Quotation Inspiration
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Congratulations on winning 1st Place in the September 2022 round of [Link To Item #quotation] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/WDC-Quotation_Inspiration.gif)
![Merit Badge in Artistic
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Congratulations on winning day 6 of The Daily Poem Sept 2022!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Artistic-125.gif)
![Merit Badge in Problem Solving
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From [Link To User jayne] : With my apologies for the Redaction Poem prompt mishap. Thank you for taking on the challenge! I hope to see you next time for a redaction-free week of fun at [Link To Item #dailypoem] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Problem_Solving-210.gif)
![Merit Badge in Inspiring Love For Poetry
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Congratulations on being our Honorable Mention in March of 2022 at [Link To Item #2216416] !
Blessings, Sharmelle](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Inspiring_Love_For_Poetry-2259846_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Action Adventure
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CONGRATULATIONS for [Link To Item #2229211] winning place as an Honourable Mention in [Link To Item #2254385] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Action_Adventure-100.gif)
![Merit Badge in Bard's Hall Blogging Merit Badge
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For placing 3rd in the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest, June 2022](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Bard=s_Hall_Blogging_Merit_Badge-2094227_12.gif){kind=icon}
![Merit Badge in G Specials
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Congratulations for winning 1st Place during the April 2022 round of [Link To Item #2268646] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-G_Specials-2271325_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Chapter 1
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Congratulations on your 1st Place win in the April 2022 Round of Chapter One! Great entry! *^*Smile*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Chapter_1-2251918_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Accuracy
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Congratulations to our 1st Runner Up of [Link To Item #2254385] Round6.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Accuracy.gif)
![Merit Badge in 30DBC Winner
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Congrats Team Pedantic Poets Platoon on winning [Link To Item #1803384] during WDC's 21st Birthday Festivities!! Well done!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-30DBC_Winner-2064535_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Every Moment Matters
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A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art.
― Paul Cezanne
Thanks for your participation in my 'art' challenge via my notebook feed.
Keep on being inspired! *^*Bigsmile*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Every_Moment_Matters.gif)
![Merit Badge in Brilliant
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CONGRATULATIONS on [Link To Item #1145690] winning a place in "Honorable Mentions" in [Link To Item #2254385]](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Brilliant.gif)
Thank you for sharing it! It's genius.