I hate this. I feel like I'm so detached from everyone because I can't share some thoughts with anyone close to me and have a decent conversation about them at all. Sure, there are some people that I can relate to and feel the same way I do, but I don't really know them. So I feel like I'm alone in my thoughts as I used to feel years ago, and it sucks. I never thought I'd be so depressed over this, but I am.
 

but I don't like myself or my life
 

Luckily with the holidays here, I have not hated my job as much as I had in the past, and for once I feel relieved to not be working the register. I don't have to deal with assholes selling their CDs and demanding more money for them, or customer returns because they didn't like what they bought even though we don't guarantee they will enjoy their purchase. The worst I've had to deal with is when they are upset that we don't have what they are looking for, and even then it hasn't been all that bad. That $20 tip last week was damn cool too.

Thank God I only work 4 hours tomorrow. Then I have a nice day and a half of festivities !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Facebook is an amazing thing. Just within the past couple of months, I have gotten in touch with people I knew back in middle school. Some are married and have kids, but just about all of them it feels different chatting with them because they have all grown up since. Back then I wouldn't get the time of day in conversation, but now I feel on the same level, and it's kinda weird.
 

Just some random quotes that I like, and wanted to post here:

"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." - Marcus Aurelius

"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." - Alexander Pope

"I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone." - Javan

"Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand. Ignorance and prejudice and fear walk hand in hand." - Rush, "Witch Hunt"

"...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - Harry Burns (Billy Crystal), "When Harry Met Sally"

"I have my books and my poetry to protect me." - Paul Simon, "I Am A Rock"

"I don't intend to be great...I just intend to be." - Mark Bradley (oh wait, that's me! )
 

!!! I'm still on an adrenaline rush...

If that isn't enough answer to how my DMing session went last night, I will give the complete report. My session started first, with 4 players. One of the players, maybe two, was new to the 4th edition D&D rules. The game went smoothly, and we all had a lot of fun. Honestly I think there was a little too much meta-gaming (talking about unrelated stuff outside of the game) but I was able to get things back on track and in focus.

I found out today from Peter, the other DM (who is way more experienced at it than I am...after all he is the regional coordinator for these events), that the players thought I did a great job. This totally eliminated the fears I had before going into it about how well I was gonna do. I am more comfortable about running games again in the future, which I definitely want to do. Already I am set to run one during an event at the end of October, which will land me some free stuff.

If that wasn't awesome enough, I found out some more awesome news. There are two D&D conventions that go on annually, one called D&D Experience (DDXP for short) and GenCon. Peter told me that each year a group of DMs all go together, and because of the size of the group, they get to go for free (no registration or hotel reservation costs). And I've been invited to go along with them next year to both conventions!! Plus I will get more free stuff at each of them!!

So right now I'm on cloud 9.
 

Ok, I'm gonna mark myself now as a nerd with this, so refrain from any remarks...

I am a member of the RPGA (Role-Playing Gamers Association) not only as a player, but a Herald-level GM (Game Master). That means I am qualified to run my own official Dungeons and Dragons games and get credit for them. Okay, that's the backstory.

I wanted to participate in a game that was going on at the gaming store I go to, but they didn't have enough room. However, I was invited to run a game myself, as the Dungeon Master. For those who don't know anything about D&D, the Dungeon Master, or DM, is like the referee or director of the game. I've DMed games at home before, like with my brother, but have never done it for a group of strangers in an offical setting. So I'm a little nervous. But most of all, I'm excited.

I'll post a follow-up with how my game went.
 

Gotta love P.O.D.

Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim
No matter what you say
It don't take away the pain

That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leading the blind

I guess that's the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense
Somebody's got to know

There's got to be more to life than this
There's got to be more to everything
I thought exists
 

There is a bookstore near me called Ukazoo, that buys and sells used books. Recently I was there and saw that they do different book events throughout the year. So I sent them an email mentioning that I have a book of poetry out, and inquired about doing a signing event.

I finally heard back on Friday from Andrea, the assistant manager and the one who handles the events. She told me that on September 14, they are having an Author Showcase, where they will feature 6 local writers, and she asked if I had an extra copy of my book for her to look at. I was quick to drive over that same day and give her one.

So she said she'll let me know by this coming Friday if I get to be in the Showcase. If they get a big enough response, she also said, they will have another. So possibly I could be in one, and finally get some larger exposure for my book!
 

I am so hooked on the show Heroes now. I recently checked out the first season on DVD from work, and have spent the past few nights staying up late watching it. Call me a dork, but I love the storyline, the characters, the concept, everything about it! When season 2 comes out on DVD next month, I plan on getting that as well, so by the time the third season premieres in September, I'll be all caught up to date.

While there are things (and not just the powers, but the personalities as well) about each character that I like, I'd have to say that my favorites are Peter and Hiro. Not only is Peter adaptable when it comes to his powers, he has the charisma to be a good leader. And even coming from a straight guy, he's not bad looking either...I'd want to be him Hiro is awesome too. I don't know how he goes from being a bumbling nerd to a strong confident warrior (I guess that will be explained in the next seasons), but you gotta love someone who can bend time and space at will, and wielding a samurai sword is pretty damn cool as well.

From a writer's perspective, I think they did an excellent job with the series. The way the stores are intertwined, and plot twists up the ass make it hard to watch just one episode and be satisfied. Major archetypes are used as well, and it's not hard to find some part of ourselves in one or more of the characters. And then, behind the action and drama there are still the themes that are present in every story: love, friendship, good vs. evil, prejudice, fear of the unknown.

I don't write fan-fiction, but my mind has been racing with similar ideas that I'd love to write about. I also have wanted to be a hero, just for one day.