I've been working on something, but it is something that I can't put on here or publish due to copyright laws.

I do a sort of fanfic with my friend, Lisa. We use characters from TV, books, movies, wherever we happen to find them and sort of throw them all together in a soap opera type story. It's fun. I created some characters myself for it (such as my Kristiana) and today I drew a map of the land that my characters live in. It gives me something to do semi-artistic and keeps my creative juices flowing.

Other than that, I haven't done much. I did crochet a baby blanket in blue for my nephew who is expecting his third boy. Will have to send that out to them next month. I started now on a pink one for Nikki who lives here and is expecting a girl. I guess you could consider that keeping my creative juices flowing as well. ;)

Another thing I've been doing is writing songs with my friend Erik. He's been having a hard time with being a singer/songwriter and trying to play his music at different places in Chicago trying to get heard. I think he should really move to someplace like back to California where he is from or Nashville. He says there is no way he's going back, so I figure Nashville then. He just can't afford another move after just moving to Chicago from here. Oh well. All I can do is continue to help and encourage him. I did give him one of the songs I used to have on here called "Wiccan Way" that was published in an ezine. I might give him my other one that I wrote a while back for my nephew, "Chyildren With Weapons". I think I'll go do that.


Edited to add: I changed the name of my blog as it doesn't seem to be quite an open book anymore as no one seems to open it.
 

Not bad, not good, just going. I found some extra money on Tuesday so yesterday I went shopping. Got a few things I needed for the house and paid more bills that I won't have to pay next month.

I also got a few extras that I didn't really need. I got my ears pierced with third holes. I bought a bunch of cuff earrings, and a ring and a Zippo lighter. Okay, so I went a little overboard, Still, I did get stuff I did need and paid bills. I think that entitled me to spoil myself some.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

Be the change you want to see in the world - Ghandi


 

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I just updated "Me and my illnesses"  [18+]. Been getting emailed comments about it. I think I also need to update the header for this blog.

Not much going on. SSDD (same stuff, different day). Spend way too much money this month, naturally. Over half my checks are gone for next month between rent and what I owe people. Like I say in that piece, the economic times is one of my problems.

I haven't talked to bobneH .. aka.. HoD DuraH in a while. I guess I am going to have to ask him to extend my Upgraded Membership here. I am not going to be able to extend it myself for a while. I owe him so much. I hate owing people. I have to try to make ammends to him some way.

As I said, not much else going on. I moved up here to Port Huron, MI, and one of my friends that lived up here decided to move to Chicago. Figures. Oh well. Life does go on, such as it is.

I do have great friends that I live with now. David and I talk about Philosophies and Spiritual matters a lot. I believe I was brought here to learn from him. I also enjoy Edward's company, and try to be here for him. He has a lot of stress with his job and his significant other, Nikki, who's pregnant.

About a week ago David helped me color my hair then thie nite before last Nikki helped me relax it. It is dry now, but it will straighten out. I just have to keep conditioning it and I will get a hot oil treatment next month.

Things are going good, despite my problems with money. Hopefully next month I will do better.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

Be the change you want to see in the world - Ghandi


 

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In March, I lost my internet access, and my home. I spent April with a guy that I shouldn't have ever gotten involved with, but, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have the great place I have now.

For the first time since December all my things are in one place. It is a great feeling. I'm actually writing this from my computer, which I haven't been able to do since January.

There are so many things that are finally going good in my life, yet reality still gets me down. I know there will never be enough money, but not being broke before the 10th of the month would be nice. Because of moving expenses, I spent twice the amount I usually spend in a month, thanks to a godsend of having money on a debit card from when I went to Crowder College in Missouri. Still, going through $1400 in one month is a bit much.

I have a bedroom and a sitting room in the upstairs of a two story house where no one bothers me for $350 a month. Not bad egh? It was literally a gift from the Higher Powers.

I was with that guy long enough to get here, then things went downhill. He said from the beginning that his HP only put him with me long enough to get me to a safe place. Well, that's what happened, though I think he meant for it to be more. He just didn't want what I wanted, which was a give and take relationship. All he planned on doing was taking. He actually had me almost convinced that I needed to make him my guardian!

My health went downhill while I was away. I have started having TIAs, or mini storkes, and had a minor stroke in April. I'm using my cane on a regular basis now, as I still have weakness in my right side (yes, the same side as my bad hip). I also tore ligaments in my right knee, so I'm wearing a knee brace. That's why he had me convinced I needed more help than what I do. I'm still looking for a companion that will accompany me on days that I run around all day on the buses, that way, if I pass out or have a TIA, there will be someone there who knows all my medical information. My sugar levels have also been out of whack and I am on three different blood pressure medications.

I didn't think this entry was going to be this long. I guess I had more to say then I had originally thought. I needed to bring you up to date anyhow.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

Be the change you want to see in the world - Ghandi


 

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I haven't been around much as my brother complains about use of electricity and use of the computer all the time. I seriously cannot wait to get mine here, but then he will still complain about electricity. He complained yesterday because I was using my radio.

He also has been reading my offline journal when I am not home, so now I have to take it with me everywhere I go. It is truly a hassle, but I refuse to edit myself just because of my lack of privacy.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

An attitude is contagious. Is yours worth catching?


 

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Just trying to kill time until my bus gets here to take me to my group today.

Things are going slightly better. I finally got my insurance straightened out so that I could fill my medications. I am proud of myself that I am somewhat taking an initiative and making these calls myself.

Got a letter in the mail this morning that said there were no apartments currently available in one of the facilities that is for Mental Health consumers but that they put me on the waiting list. How long that waiting list is, or when one will come through is anyone's guess.

I also got ahold of my former bank in New Jersey and they should be sending me proof that my account there was closed within the next couple of days. This is good, as then I will be able to reapply for Food Stamps and get Kevin off my back about feeding me.

I just wish I didn't fly off the handle every time things go slightly wrong.

I've got the shakes. I think it is because I started drinking my coffee black and had three cups this morning. It could also be because my sugar level is slightly high from breakfast.

Still got an hour to kill. Maybe I'll go try to do some reviewing.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

An attitude is contagious. Is yours worth catching?


 

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I had a rough day yesterday. Most of it is a blur but let's just say that there are deep, self-inflicted scratches on my right wrist.I had forgotten to take my medications for the morning yesterday, but missing one dose should not have made me flip out as I apparently did. I need to call mental health today and let them know what happened.

All I know is that when things were clear and everything in my head, you could cut the tension in the house with a knife. It even made Cindy have a severe panic attack last night to where she almost had to go to the hospital.

I keep going back and forth on wether or not I want to remain living here. One minute we are all getting along fine, the next we are fighting or something is going on to where I wish I lived away from here.

I did meet a great guy, Henry, who came to visit me last night. We are both just looking for someone to hang out with once in a while with no committments. Only thing is that I was completely honest with him about my mental status so I am not sure if he will call again.
If he does, I will be very happy. I may call him tonight if he doesn't call today. He was very tired when he left and lives a few miles away. I told him to call when he got home so I knew he was safe, but he didn't. He may have just been too tired.

Here's to hoping that new friendships work out and that help is only a phone call away.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

An attitude is contagious. Is yours worth catching?


 

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Still been doing things to update my statistics and clean out my port.

Wish I had more time online. I would do more reviewing. Can't wait to get my comp and printer so I can do some serious reviewing and possibly help others with editing.

I shouldn't have, but I bought myself a bedding set for my bed here. I figure I will probably have a single bed anyways when I move out, so I will still be able to use it. I also have pillows on backorder, but I might change it to a different set. I don't really think I need 4 pillows, and the current set I have on order is 6 (I plan on giving two to my brother). Unfortunately Fingerhut is not letting me into their site at this time, something about maintenance or some stuff like that.

I started a six week group session yesterday called PATH with mental health. Talked to my worker/therapist today and she said she didn't authorize it. Now she did so I can still go, but it is weird that I got the letter in the mail for it and no one referred me.

I have my first evaluation with the psychiatrist on Monday, then I have my intake appointment with a medical doctor on Tuesday.

I've been taking the buses more as Cindy can't seem to keep gas in her car, probably because she uses the money that people give her for gas for other things.

That's about it. Everything else is SSDD (same stuff, different day). I'm going tod some more work on my port.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

An attitude is contagious. Is yours worth catching?


 

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Okay so it is only 2247 wds, or somewhere in that area, but I actually wrote a story, not just some lines of poetry.

The only thing is... well.... let me put it to you this way....

It warranted it's own folder:

ID: 1854907   (Rated: XGC) The Secret Closet  This is where the stuff no one but the adults can see....shhhhh! by Kristi Mouse

ID: 1854910   (Rated: XGC) The Beach Incident  When your first experience is more than just memorable. by Kristi Mouse

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

An attitude is contagious. Is yours worth catching?


 

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Found another of the poetry I wrote while in lockdown. Added it to my bedroom folder. It is quite dark. Most of them from there are.

I don't know what to do. My limited computer access prevents me from being able to type out stories. I finished an erotica story but I can't get the time to type it to put it in my port.

With Kevin complaining about the electricity bill all the time I don't want to be on the computer and I have put my radio up and only listen to the radio on my walkman. I also walk around with my flashlight at night so I can only do writing, even my offline journal, during the day. It is annoying to say the least.

CIndy is fed up with Kevin too and is ready to walk out herself. SHe was calling this guy in Flint that was like her venting board and just found out it was long distance and Kevin doesn't have a long distance carrier. Even though Cindy has given him the money for the calls, he is still harping on it.

He tells Cindy that at least I am pulling my weight with paying the lot rent but then gets on me about how much food he has to feed me. What the hell? I thought that paying the lot rent covered everything but I guess saying that I am telling DHS that I am preparing food seperately he expects me to pay for it out of my pocket until I can get my own help from them.

I don't know It is all just so stressful that my anxiety is still way through the roof to where my leg bounces all the time. I can't stop it though it makes it hurt. I just hope that someplace will help me with the security deposit for the apartment I want soon. I don't know how much longer I can last here.

Peace, Much Love, and Blessed Be.
Kristiana

An attitude is contagious. Is yours worth catching?


 

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