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Is just bored. No goals or motivation. I get one conversation a day, coffee, two naps. |
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I’ve never stopped learning, counter-intuitive when evidence doesn't present. Kindness is not indicative of vulnerability and responses…why am I typing about this? I talk circles around myself, too. If I could type faster with fewer errors, I’d make more sense…foremost, to myself. .        A lifelong journalist, my first word at 1 was to report an injury by describing the event to the woman in the basement doing laundry. “Hot.” I fell and hit my head on the radiator. I never got good at nouns or pronouns. I know faces, voices, general demeanor. I don’t like hello or goodbye. ‘See ya when I see ya’ would suffice. I prefer nothing at all, not acknowledge. Part of my PTSD is from abandonment that found new ways to apply itself throughout life. Lots of hot radiators in the world make me feel unsafe. I might be Sundowning. We’ll see. There are gaps of lost time in the last year. I pulled my blogs and writing. I seldom recognize anything written in the last decade. And, like a tap, words drip out onto the lighted screen we share through the statistical tunnel. Trying not to let language skills diminish. My eyesight has recently given me bouts of double vision. My reading and editing and reviewing suffer. I basically open a tap. Store some of the better stuff to mete out as I blog, giving each my best attention. Lots more boring stuff. More later…to create? |
| Parody song got going…killed it trying to write down words. Same happens when I record. A lyricist I’ll never be Same ‘ol Same ‘hol Song It’s the same MO that you’ve been using for far too long. Oh, it’s the same MO. Do you need a reason since I’ve been gone? Sentimental fool was I, when someone came along, sung my song It got boring in the chase in this place and just another one-sided race………… Da-da de-dah da-da de-duh! If it ever comes again, sure to capture it. I hear that same old song I know we still share, but different meaning now. 12.10.25 |
| What Matters Most by BK Compton Does it matter now that I loved you, Now that you’re through with love? I gave you every chance to warm to me, Overtly men took you and love was wasted. The more fragile you became I pained — But from a safe distance, since you didn’t see, I would attend the loosened coat button, But not offer a handkerchief to miss our bliss. Does it matter now that I could always see The way you needed love, but didn’t know. To myself, I failed to find you in my arms. So, I stood back from rejection that did its harm. But it’s never too late to put everything right. Let’s get to know one another this one night. No promises but cheer for a woman my eyes adore. You need to know how wonderful you really are. If it doesn’t factor after our passing ships unmet Never travelled through nights, I’m ready now. I would take your hand, carefree go see a miracle, White glowing on black. Can you imagine that? The quiet now could grow anxiety in this heart, That trembled for you the many days you didn’t see. I could be the one falling in love with you. The more your pain, stronger my conviction grows. It matters to me that you finally see the true heart. I’ll spin you to favorites, lift you light, dizzy, too. Can you imagine me with you, beacons shining love? Anywhere we desire we can go, if only in our minds, dream. I anxiously wait your answer, waiting til latest hour. Either way it goes, I will always know true beauty, Gentle and sweet in need of tender arms strong, Locking you in love safe, now until the end of time. Will it matter now or did I wait too long? Could it matter how my love grew? It matters to me most that you now know Love is a tragic thing, when unrequited. I will risk everything for you, your happiness. Does it matter now that I park myself on your porch, Pleading you find another way to look at love — That guarantees I’ll never hurt you with every fiber? Does it matter? How to know you better, give love wings — So we can fly away on every cloud adrift, anywhere it goes. Could it matter, if you can only see me as friend? It stings, That’s for sure, since I never told you, show, you matter the most. What an indescribable moment, when history written by victor. Words are weak compared to my unbending love. 12.10.25 Written live in blog listening to a string of classic Motown. It ended with “Never Knew Love Like This Before” “There’s no dubbing, there’s no overdubbing — just one take and my guitar.” Carlos Santana |
| The moment the gently placed needle landed to skate grooves around the record, an analog memory electrified stereophonic. She appeared again, 17, in his bedroom, a holographic memory he wished gone to replace time past that left a growing distance between them. 💔 T̵̢̝̗̰̪̠̹͗̾̾h̵̥͉̲̠̍̽͛̌͂̆̚ě̸̗͓̱̺̮̣̽͆ Ab̴̦̄̈͐̾̑̚͝s̸͉̻̃͘ě̸̗͓̱̺̮̣̽͆n̴̝͚͎͔̘̰̅ͅcě̸̗͓̱̺̮̣̽͆ o̷͍̥̣̺͋f̶̭̱̘͇͊͋̾̋̄͆ Wa̴͙͓̓̕vě̸̗͓̱̺̮̣̽͆l̵̩̘̯̪͋͒͒̉͒̄ě̸̗͓̱̺̮̣̽͆n̴̝͚͎͔̘̅ͅg̸̫͙̻̭͐͝ț̴̵̢̝̗̰̪̠̹̈́͌͆̑͋͂̅͗̾̾h̵̥͉̲̠̍̽͛̌͂̆̚ From, “Heart Chasing The Moon” an as yet poem, story or novel attempting to skirt the cliche, reenvision a love lost, rekindle a warm glowing remembrance. There are no do-overs as there are no time machines; and yet, we invent fantasy to sate delusion, immerse in illusion and sentimentally romanticize a time when dreams were conceivable goals, rather than darkening reality — stars you will never touch.  |
How are your holidays shaping up? Christmas music playing, decorating the port, and…minimalistic…does this look like enough? Charlie Brown’s teachers are here to interpret silence into their own language, which I then translate using Charlie Brown’s persecuted expressions. I won’t miss Writing.ML *reaches* Pull down menu?  |
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