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April 18, 2014
1:35pm EDT

Rated: 18+ | Book | Personal | #1300042
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life
Such Longing
Product Type: eBooks
Amazon's Price: Price N/A

Journalist turned blogger.

Read me, don't read me. I'm going to dare you to read anyway.

I update my portfolio page as often as possible. glaedrfly Go there to see new messages. I also encourage you to read my notebook, biography and more. I'm always updating, because I am restless.

THANK YOU alfred booth, wanbli ska for the ribbon and continuous support!

My blogging days at Writing.Com began here >>>
My Journal  [13+]
This is my pulpit. I'm no preacher, just long to be heard like the rest of us.
by glaedrfly
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 ... Next
April 17, 2014 at 10:41am
April 17, 2014 at 10:41am
Pocket Full Of Sunshine

 ID: 1172717 (E)
Iron and Ore 
My recollection of youth spent along the rails covered by iron ore cast offs.
by glaedrfly
April 14, 2014 at 8:51pm
April 14, 2014 at 8:51pm
Blood Red Moon Prophecy
I'll have blood shot eyes if I stay up tonight and watch the first of the tetrad, that is, the first of four blood red moons over the northern hemisphere during the next 18 months. And there's a little story about a biblical prophecy about the end of days connected to this.
April 11, 2014 at 3:28pm
April 11, 2014 at 3:28pm
Character Driven Life
I get it. Watching a character struggle with self-doubt is a turn off. We want our flawed hero to be optimistic because we are on a fence of our own. We read for escape and not to be dragged back down into the morass.

Conflict-resolution becomes a sticky subject to tackle, because a writer wants to implant his own insecurities to supplant in the escalating action. To be honest with ourselves, there are few true supermen and their stories are seldom dramatic like the struggles of a loner who yearns to fit in. Maybe, one that picks up that sword to battle the white page and hope that someone will respond to the visions in words spilled forth.

The separating line between fiction and reality is a clear division, but one that one wants to blur a little more each day. I spend x amount of time with the distraction of a good tale and x amount of time surrounding myself with a support network. But, when you cannot control the ratio? A lot of time alone leads to delusion.

May happy times lie ahead in the words with good friends and our readers.

April 11, 2014 at 12:42am
April 11, 2014 at 12:42am
Give Someone A Chance
I've been rereading my first blog, from the beginning, and remembering what I struggled with and how optimistic I was starting on the path here. I became disillusioned, as I am sure many have, because my expectations were not met. I yearn to find a place in this internet dungeon where I can envision a glimmer, just a crack of light to help me escape. I want to get back what little innocence I had when I started here and begin again. Just doesn't seem like I will find what I am looking for here, maybe nowhere.

Embrace those newbies and let them know they are loved and don't quit on them during their awkward phases and struggles for worth and recognition. Expect people to be a little unreasonable. Be patient and help them understand, if you truly are angels. Unconditional support will help them see, while I still cope with this self-imposed dark hole I put myself into.

April 9, 2014 at 2:45am
April 9, 2014 at 2:45am
The Force

Never gets old.
April 7, 2014 at 4:01pm
April 7, 2014 at 4:01pm
Glad they're back...

April 7, 2014 at 3:44pm
April 7, 2014 at 3:44pm

April 3, 2014 at 7:07pm
April 3, 2014 at 7:07pm
What Is It About Poetry?
Should a poem have conflict-resolution? What is it about poetry that makes the most impact with a reader? Stimulate the senses, arouse emotions with imagery or tempt with elusive metaphors that tease the imagination to wonder? Profundity? A little of each or some? Form?

What is it about a poem that tempts a reader?
April 3, 2014 at 7:15am
April 3, 2014 at 7:15am
Tumblr grrrr!
I officially hate Tumblr. Can't figure out how to make blog public or how to link it here and have my posts be seen...the dashboard is so simplistic it's stupid, making me nuts!

Attempts to google help doesn't work. They have changed tumblr so much that advice from six months ago I'd outdated. It's like they want to insulate me from main stream internet traffic and isolate me in a little community of bloggers who don't know I exist either.

Hey! This is too familiar. *Rolleyes*

March 30, 2014 at 6:03pm
March 30, 2014 at 6:03pm
All A-Twitter
I've decided I need a place where I don't feel compelled to be politically correct and chose the current internet den of iniquity Twitter. Don't know where I am going with this, but for now the more humorous 'rant' side of me that separates from the writer in me (sometimes). It's already and odd mix. Bringing two of my worlds together in a sense.

Going by bron glaedrfly...for now. Since I'm not famous enough to be known by one name...or be known.

If you are new to Twitter or thinking of joining, make your 17th tweet a haiku (use #thweet to tag) like I did. Or senyu.
March 21, 2014 at 2:33pm
March 21, 2014 at 2:33pm
Haiku - Blaze...Fresh
Your paper words blaze
Char them all down to the ground
A fresh voice crackles

Took a few words jotted down on notepad and turned it into a haiku. Originally wrote:

'Set fire to words on paper
Char them all down to the ground
Your voice is too distant.'

I changed the ending to provide a result rather than further the theme.

Unrelated, I'm sure, I had written in the column, "save on medication & alcohol." Oh, now I see the math to support that logic. Must have been doing taxes again!

Oh, and..."polar vortex winter apparel fluctuations." Winter clothes closet is a mess!
March 18, 2014 at 8:22pm
March 18, 2014 at 8:22pm
Jesters at the ready...
April Fool's Day is nearing. Pranking someone is not my thing. Being pranked...not so much. However...

Something to chew on...

ID: 1195045 (13+)
The Prankster 
A troubled boy cannot appease everyone with his attempts at humor.
by glaedrfly

Spring break is coming. Might be time to take a much needed break from this site and recenter myself in the real world with people who apparently love me? *Confused*

I require a break because I need to get my head out of cyberspace...have gotten into that rut with writing. My family doesn't understand me as a writer, but they do require my attention for awhile. It will be good to get back when I have something new to share with my friends here.

March 13, 2014 at 11:25pm
March 13, 2014 at 11:25pm
Poem In newsletter, short story, too!!
A poem of mine was featured in the poetry newsletter this week and would not have known if Blüeyez hadn't pointed it out. Been awhile since I've been aware that one of my efforts earned attention in a newsletter. Nice to be back.

ID: 1335139 (ASR)
As Deep As I Could 
We take a chance on acceptance, fail and try to find answers.
by glaedrfly

ID: 1977616 (ASR)
Attitude Flying 
Alliteration in this effort written for a contest prompt.
by glaedrfly

ID: 1977655 (ASR)
Gentle Doe 
An encounter with a deer in the wild strikes love in a lonesome heart.
by glaedrfly

Whaaaaaaaaaaa..... A short story, too? Dang, I got to keep up with these things. I will have to thank the folks for highlighting my works...

ID: 1181914 (18+)
Death Of A District Salesman 
Ever have one of those manipulative bosses that will do anything to get ahead?
by glaedrfly

My fantasy of wishing I could off the boss for making me jump through all those hoops only to get forced out of my job in the end.

March 3, 2014 at 11:04pm
March 3, 2014 at 11:04pm
Poetry Fail
Contests are good if you need inspiration to write and bad if you have expectations that don't match what these judges are looking for. I found a few contests that I thought I could contribute something meaningful to, only to find my efforts are not worthy of esteem.

I don't discount the "Dear Me" contest win. That was the biggest, out of about 90 entries. It also tells me I know how to write and yet some of my best entries can't crack the top 3 out of 7 or 8? In poetry, no less.

I know I said I was doing away with poetry for the novel pursuit. I think my latest effort should be my last until the novel is done. I think these little messages are steering me back on course.

It is sad that this poem written to a prompt wasn't worthy tonight...

ID: 1977616 (ASR)
Attitude Flying 
Alliteration in this effort written for a contest prompt.
by glaedrfly

February 25, 2014 at 4:47pm
February 25, 2014 at 4:47pm
Say Something
February 23, 2014 at 4:28pm
February 23, 2014 at 4:28pm

Just going to play this every morning after I get the house to myself, get my groove on, so I can be Happy. I should video the dance I do and upload that, too.

February 22, 2014 at 9:30pm
February 22, 2014 at 9:30pm
How To Feel
I'm processing a lot of thoughts and cannot find the words tonight for how I should feel. I guess if everyone assumes a position of indifference, there would be such uninspired participation, if any at all, at this site. So when I hear a call to action, there is a part of me that is always willing to help out.

Sometimes, I feel like such a sucker. I have enough on my own plate and I want to launch when someone is in distress. My wife is constantly questioning my motivations.

"They need someone.." And then it goes on from there. You sometimes find you're standing in the middle of nowhere and someone is yelling at you to get out of the field.

You try to lend a hand here or there and get handcuffed while people breaking rules all around you are ignored. And then when you finally offer up your humble offerings you get a 'that's not what we're looking for' and look up to see if the writing on the wall has changed again.

This is all obtuse. Some might know what I mean. The more I think people want me to shut up and go away, the more trouble I'm tempted to make. I guess I should just pity their ignorance or their intentions that I cannot fathom.

Dammit, why don't I come out and say it. Don't care to be ostracized again, or just don't care?

It feels good when you can contribute and do something that could be more positively defining as a member, instead of them mucking it up and taking away all the fun their could be. My head is spinning again...

I don't want to believe I've wasted my time as a member of this community. I want to believe their is more in me that people don't get to see because they haven't met the person.

Been like a yo-yo these past seven plus years. Wish I could decide...spinning...guess I'm going to lose before I start. I feel sorry for every hopeful newbie who becomes disenchanted because they will eventually not be newbies anymore.

February 21, 2014 at 2:05pm
February 21, 2014 at 2:05pm
She shelters within the weed
As they lob cocktails over her wall.
You can't see her eyes;
veins thick with the mud
she uses to douse the flames,
rising higher, as she goes numb.

Bayonets stab acidic animals
floating in her challised waters.
Bloody war engines blast
their arrival; colorful lights
synchronize with the volleys.

The diminutive fighter approaches
warriors battling, chanting;
refusing refuge in their arms,
dims her dark, dry eyes
and dances to her own song.

Don't like the ending. I think I'm going to add more/edit this. It is for someone who would rather be up all night enjoying the late-night scene rather than be tied down to 7 AM job. I also think there's more at work with her that she has yet to realize.

Noticed the first stanza wound up with six lines. Can I get away with 'challised' to show how the water is held? Checks his poetic license to see if it is up to date.
It's sad that when you end something before your muses are done feeding you thoughts, because it is hard to pick up where I leave off. Hope I can add more to this.

February 20, 2014 at 12:33am
February 20, 2014 at 12:33am
Latest Rant...cracking
I need to find some way I can be me and feel comfortable not having to apologize for it. I need to be able to assert my opinion without the fear of rejection. Too often how I feel about myself is tied to the opinion of others.

My dad made me this way. He got to be arrogant and demeaning to others who stood up to him and played the martyr if we did not go along with his game.

Here I am wandering around in this stream, wanting to appease my father and uphold all that my mother bestowed me with kindness and a strong shoulder for others. Nothing left for me? These two who left this realm more than 10 years ago couldn't have been more divisive influences on my life, and I am about to crack at my foundation.

I want to be stronger and tell people off like I sometimes do and not come back and retract all that my passion will demonstrate. I've had to be a chameleon for so many people, it's a wonder I don't have an identity crisis. Well I do, just not so severe that it has stricken me with insanity.

I desire the company of friends and have hated that I was a phony to get in their good graces only to discover that the friendships were more fantasy than reality. Maybe, I tried too hard. So, I stopped trying.

I want to crack. I welcome it. I hope there is a shiny, resilient new person beneath this flimsy exterior who can grab the world by the tail and fling it into orbit. I desire peace of mind and an attitude that says you're either with me...well, that's it.

Meekly gets off soapbox/pulpit to spend some time in repose to consider his latest rant to the wall.

February 19, 2014 at 9:13pm
February 19, 2014 at 9:13pm
Relaunch of the surgically repaired shooter
It started in low, then started to grow. That line from the classic cartoon was the narrative playing in the back of my head as I stood on the basketball court just 10 minutes after my physical therapy session ended.

It had been a rough week with my arm and back since my last PT session one week ago. Shoulder tightness plagued me and could not properly do my home therapy, let alone stretch. I even overdid it one day and sensed immflamation as I tried to sleep. I was not getting good rest until two nights ago.

Dan, my therapist, had to get me stretched out before taking measurements for my doc, who I see on Monday. I was still progressing in all but one area with range of motion. Then, I did some physical exercises including two circuits on machines that got me strong after becoming limber.

I walked downstairs to the gym, took off my shoes and picked out the best ball. Dribbling was a bit stiff. I shot with my left hand for awhile and felt frustrated. There were a bunch of young athletes around, probably semi-pro football players. I didn't like looking like an old fart in the gym, chasing a ball as my shoeless, big feet thudded against the hardwood floor.

I dribbled with my surgically repaired right hand. I've been able to do this for nearly three months. It felt pretty good. I lifted the ball straight up in front of me, while using my left hand to hold down the shoulder. I hoisted it mechanically several times. There was no pain. I was loose and ready.

I've been shooting the ball from short distances with the right for several weeks.i had difficulty with accuracy. I could launch 15-footers a week ago and watched them all sail left of my aim, but not today.

I stood at the free throw line and tossed up a shot to see it rim off. It felt good and no mechanical issues. I was just a bit weak. I remedied this by making sure I stretched from my legs up to my back as I stood upright before each shot was released. I managed four free throws in a row at one point. I had been alternating between the left and right hands to make sure I did not overdo it. As I could not connect appreciatively with my left hand, the thoughts crept in, Try a three.

I made sure I was just outside the arc -- 19-feet away. It was not easy going at first, but I mixed up right and left hand dribbles behind the back or between the legs after hauling in the caroms of each miss. I still alternated shooting hands. I moved inside and started canning, even swishing, right-handed shots. I even took a few fade-always that hit their mark. Then, I took it into the corner behind the line.

The sun streamed through a wall of window panes. Visually, the light eliminated all backdrop and made it hard to judge distance because the red rim became a silhouette fading into the shadows of midday. I launched. I knew the distance and it landed perfectly, catching enough of the far side of the rim to send it careening right back to me. I scooped up the ball off a bounce and in perfect rhythm launched another in flawless, easy motion and down it went. That's when the line from How The Grinch Stole Christmas began to play in my head.

I guess you could say my heart grew three sizes. I thought I could stop there, but this was encouraging. I flopped around in my socks on that floor for another fifteen minutes making it rain form everywhere. I envisioned going back to the YMCA and putting on another shooting clinic, then leaving before the full court games began. Even though I can do this again, I am a long way away from twisting and contorting my torso and limbs in action.

I thought I would never return to play. Now I am thinking I could be physically better than before. I need some cardio and more strengthening. But, I'm coming back a surgically repaired shooter itchin' for a relaunch.

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