The Christmas season is again fast approaching. I don't like the holiday season and haven't liked for many years. I also find myself becoming more irritated and put in the middle of arguments between ACE and my mother. It is getting to the point where I'm going to tell them both to stop putting me in the middle. My days of playing Keep Away are OVER!!!


 

          Today marks eight days since the guys and Shadow have been on their camping trip. While I relish the serenity and peace this break allows me,; for some reason I'm full of sadness and sorrow today.

          It all began when I turned my phone on and there was a reminder of my cousin's birthday. After eating breakfast and turning on the computer, I visited Facebook and found that her niece also has a birthday today. The message that set ke off was one that her mother sent her. It read: Happy Birthday. We'll go shopping soon.

          Most daughters can go shopping with their mothers and have a great day. Whether they purchase things or not, they're able to get along and laugh, reminisce, and enjoy themselves. They may come back either empty handed or with am empty wallet, but either way, they enjoyed spending time together. I can't say that of Corrine and I. She can do that with the daughter that matters to her, Donna. But not with me.

          She relishes having a strangle hold on me and my life. I've broken away from her somewhat, but she still wants to reel me back in. My best friend likens it to me rebelling like a teenager, since I didn't do that then. She may be correct in her assumption. How can I rebel at the ripe age of fifty?

          Wold I like to have a NORMAL relationship with Corrine? In some instances, yes. In others, no. Too much damage has been done. Too much hurt has been caused. Too many boundaries have been crossed. A lack of respect has been shown . Honesty has been non existent. And lies have been rampant throughout my lifespan.

          What hangs in the balance of all of this is the almighty dollar. She has several of them that are mine. I've asked her to give all of them to me, but she refuses. She knows the money is mine, but she says that she is doing this to protect me. From what? From whom?

          She treats me like an inanimate object. A house plant in need of occasional watering, a pet that needs to be let out to do its business and be fed and watered, a garden that needs watering and weeding, a car that should be started every day to keep it in good shape. I'm not any of those. I'm a person. She's never told me to my face that that is how she sees me, but that is how I'm looked after.

          When I married both times, my father told my husbands to take care of me. I realize that anyone reading this has never met me in person. Therefore they wouldn't be able to answer this. Do I look like a person who is incapable of taking care of herself?

          My first husband wasn't able to take care of himself, let alone me. He didn't work and all he was was a leach and a sponge when it came to me. He didn't keep his word to his future father-in-law.

          My present husband is employed. However, he isn't what I expected or wanted in a husband. His education is nill beyond community college, and he, like my first husband, likes to spend money more than save it. So he didn't keep the promise to his future father-in-law.

          Getting back to the real reason for this entry-my mother. IF her assumption is correct, I would take the money and run as far away from her as I possibly could get. I'd never look back and I'd enjoy my life on my terms and try to live a stress free and worry free existence.
 

          It's been a while since I last wrote in this blog/journal. I need to write more, review more, and generally be on on this site more. My novel has suffered and I'm neglecting a bunch of things. I know I'vew said this before and haven't followed through. I don't keep my promises to myself.

          Promises. What exactly are they? Anytime someone in my past has made me a promise, it has been broken. The person I don't break any promises to is Santa Dog . There is another person that I made a promise to that will definitely be kept. That person is ACE

          The promise that I made to him is that when Santa Dog turns eighteen and graduates from high school, there will be divorce papers served on him from me the next day.To me, promises have the same value as lies.

          Lies. I have a great deal of knowledge about those. I've been lied to all my life. They began when I was ten. We were at my grandparents' house and I innocently asked how long it took to make a baby. My mother answered with Nine months. She asked me why I was asking. I was silent for a time. What I was doing was figuring in my mind if I was conceived after they were married or before. The answer was before. THe question that threw her over the edge was the one I asked about whether the man I've been calling Dad all my life really is my father. She was quite shocked that I was smarter than she ever gave me credit for. She told me to keep my mouth shut and to never bring up the subject again. Can we say DNA test?

          Years later, I found oout about another lie. When I was seven years old, I took ballet lessons and my brother took tap lessons. After one season, there was a recital. I had a great time and really was enjoying this activity. The following fall, I fully expected to return for another season. My parents told me that they couldn't afford the two dollars a week. I was heartbroken and disappointed. They told me that I could go to the local high school for free lessons. I tried that, but didn't enjoy it as much.

          Years later, I found out that the lady who taught the classes, Miss Shirley, took my mother aside and told her that she didn't want to waste her time teaching a girl whom she felt wasn't worth it. Instead of telling the woman to either teach BOTH of her children or none of them, she acquiesced and told me that lie. I'm SO DAMN ANGRY! How dare she.
 

          My review of "Childhood Epiphany"  [E]This story wqs quite funny and made me smile and laugh. The best intentions of children will almost always go awry. As I read this, I remembered when I was a kid, my grandparents lived on a street where there was a gas station on the corner. I guess that explains why you were never charged for the "gas". I didn't see any typos or grammatical errors.Great read! Write ON!

          My review of "Who Stays Now? (Unabridged version)"  [13+]I love this story. Like the previous one I reviewed, it caused emotion to rise in me and made me think. I did not notice any typos or other grammatical errors. As you probably know, I have a cocker named Shadow. I had surgery in "04 and when I returned home, she stuck to my side for a week straight. Dogs are very loyal and are our friends for life. You have the knack of writing stories that stir emotions in the reader. Great Job. Write ON!

          My review of "You and I"  [18+]This story is not one that I usually would read. It reminded me of the Vampire movies and all the craze that is happening at the moment. I did not see any typos or other grammatical mistakes. This story is definitely different than the last two stories I reviewed. It was hard for me to follow, but that may be due to the fact that it is a different genre. Write On!

          My review of "Jerrilee's adventure - a quandary"  [E]I liked this story/poem, although it is not my genre of choice. I take it that you like writing fantasy stories. I may have missed this, but were the apples ever acquired? I did not encounter any typos or other grammatical errors. This story takes the reader on an adventure along with Jerrilee that is very interesting. Great Read! Write ON!

          My review of "My Home treatment of Parvovirus "  [E]This is a great way to inform people about how to care for the four legged members of the house. I'm very sorry about the loss of the two puppies. Shadow has to go and get her Parvo and other shots in nine days. She doesn't want to, but she will. She'll be ten on May 4. THis was well written and hopefully will enlighten the reader. I'm glad things turned out for you and the gang. Great Read!

 

          This morning I felt paw on my arm and woke up with a startle. To my utter amazement, Shadow began to speak to me. I looked at her and thought I was dreaming.

         "Morning Mom. It's time to wake up. We all overslept and I can't get downstairs to wake Matthew and Dad."

          I turned over and looked at the clock radio and realized we all overslept a half hour. I rose quickly and heard that my husband had awakened and wqs trying to wake Matthew. They only had twenty minutes before they had to leave.

          Shadow ran down the stairs telling John that she needed to go outside. He raised the gate and waited for him to open the patio door.

         "Thanks Dad. I really had to go." After entering, she played the diva card."Where is my bagel and banana?"

          Hearing Shadow talk woke Matthew up and he had his mouth ajar. John couldn't believe it either. Shadow stood by the refrigerator and tried to open its door, but couldn't accomplish her task. Feinting frustration, she scampered up the stairs and rejoined me.

         "I didn't get my bagel or anything else yet. Do I get a Pringle for the Spirit?"

         "No. They lost last night."

         "I'm going to put the banana in my collar and bring it up. I'll tell Matthew to bring the bagel as soon as it's ready."

          John brought the bagel up and then they had to leave. After they left, Shadow grabbed the banana and offered her paw.

          "Can we eat now? I'm hungry. Is there any food left in the red bowl?"

          II poured the food into her bowl and went to give it to her slowly. I offerd her the bowl and she looked at me puzzled.

         "Why do you always do that to me, Mom? It's like you don't want me to eat. You know I was one of eight. I was the last one to get fed and had to fight for every piece. That's why I inhale what I eat. I'm afraid that it'll be taken away.'

          I told her that nobody would take anything away from her. I assured her that we loved her and always would.

          "I love you all too. Can you trust me to eat like a regular member of the family?"

          I shook my head in affirmation.




 

          There are actually two places that I would like to visit before I'm no longer on this earth. They are Italy and Hawaii. What made the decision for me was the weather. I chose Hawaii. My reasoning was that it was probably going to be a one time trip, therefore, I decided to make the trip last one month.

          I was going to visit as many islands as I possibly could. Two of the places I wanted to visit were Diamond Head and the Arizona Memorial. I stayed in Honolulu, Oahu, Molokai, Lanai, and Maui. I was on a budget so I watched my pennies very closely. There were things I wanted to do, places I wanted to visit, and some souvenirs I wanted to take back home.

          One of the places I wanted to see was where the films Blue Hawaii and Love Hawaiian Style were filmed. These were both Elvis films and I really enjoyed the scenery. The days were sun filled and packed with shopping, taking tours, and meeting other tourists and some locals. The one thing I noticed was that the local people were quite friendly. If you had a problem whether big or small, they were willing to help.

          The first two weeks were filled with fun, travel and loads of entertainment. It was a whirlwind of fun and great times that I never wanted to conclude. I made great friends and was able to have a memorable vacation.

          When the third week commenced, I started on Lanai, It seemed to me that every island had its own charm and way of life. I almost had to bring an empty suitcase just for the souvenirs I was bringing back with me. One of the things I wanted to do was para sail. If there is a challenge that I haven't conquered, I'm willing to take a crack at it. I felt a big rush and I was so nervous. My legs were shaking. After ascending the contraption, I felt like a bird and was exhilarated. I also snorkeled and saw very beautiful fish. I did see jellyfish up close and I stayed away from them.

          During the last week, I stayed on the Big Island. Most of the time, I stayed in budget cottages to save money and make everything stretch as far as it could. However, for the last week of the trip, I planned to stay at a hotel and enjoy the atmosphere and just relax. With two days left before I was to depart for the mainland, the hotel had a fire and I was on the twentieth floor. The fire broke out on the tenth floor. People were jumping out of windows to safety and they were crowding the stairwells to escape. Since the fire originated lower than where I was, my belongings had minimal damage. I could get new clothes, but not a new life.

          I was rescued by two very buff firefighters in a cherry picker. Two people perished and the cause of the fire was determined to be from a careless smoker on the tenth floor. The hotel had the guests put up at the Kona Hilton free of charge for the duration of their stays. I spent two luxurious days and nights being pampered, and I even met an old classmate from elementary school whom I haven't seen in thirty-six years.

          I departed the fiftieth state with a head full of memories and a heart full of love. My ultimate dream came true. Now, I could live my life in peace.
 

          I finally made a New Year's Resolution to lose one hundred pounds in a year. I've been carrying this weight around for over thirty years and it's time to shed the albatross that has been around my neck for over half my life.

          I bought a food journal, and vowed to lose at least ten pounds a month. I would keep a daily diary of what I ate and the calorie count. I'm not very active physically, so that would be a hinderence The one thing I didn't want to do was give up food that I absolutely enjoyed. I've already given up hot dogs, french fries, sausage, white bread, yeast raised cakes, potato chips, and whole milk.

          My reward if I met my goal would be a new wardrobe and a month long trip to Hawaii. I weighed myself on New Year's Day and the scale screamed 234lbs. Well, at least I had a starting point. Since the New Year started on a Sunday, I would begin right away. I would list what I had at every meal and even snacks. If possible, I would list the calories and, hopefully, watch the pounds peel off. Before beginning, I realized that I had several downfalls. First of these is the fact that I have a voracious sweet tooth. I also love pasta. I will eat rice and potatoes, but pasta is tops in my book.

          I would weigh myself at the end of each week and record the results. Two and a half pounds a week doesn't sound like much, but it'll add up. I stocked up on lean meats, fresh fruits and vegetables that I liked, 2% milk, cranberry and grapefruit juice, and whole wheat pasta. I didn't eat salads without dressing. I bought low fat dressings and used them sparingly. I drank diet soda and iced tea with sweetener. I made menues on the computer fior the week and made sure I had what was needed. The one thing I liked was stir fry, so I bought the ingredients for that to vary the meals. I had salads every night. Juices were a staple for breakfast as wello as a banana and either oatmeal, cream of wheat, or cold cereal.

          Smaller rewards were if I met my month of ten pound weight loss, I could have a bit of chocolate with milk once in that month. During the colder months, I cwas couped up due to cold weather. I spent that tie writing, listening to music, and playing Nintendo DSi. Once the weather warmed up, I spent more time outside. I ate to live, not live to eat. I did look forward to the meals I had on the menu, but I didn't spend every waking hour thinking of food.

          The first three months went by like clockwork. Thirty pounds melted. I began to feel great. Thirty down and seventy to go. Plan is right on schedule. The trip wasn't going to be taken until my birthday of the next year. It was now Easter and the beginning of spring. My birthday was also looming. Don't I deserve a piece of cake? I only had a sliver.

          The summer was coming and with that the fruits I loved. Plums, grapes, corn on the cob, cherries, and peaches were among the fruits and vegetables I could indulge in. I could still swim, so I did that on a regular basis. People watchinjg at the park helped. I got a lot of fresh air and I felt wonderful. Just before the onset of fall and the colder weather I wqeighed myself again. It had been five months since a great weight loss was recorded. When I weighed in, I should have lost eighty pounds all together. Instead, I only lost fifty-five pounds. I was mad at myself. Why didn't I lose? I wanted to go to Hawaii.

          I punished myself. I didn't eat anything after six o'clock. Doing that for the next month along with what I had already implemented, helped shed the twenty-five pounds and then some. I looked back at the food diary to see where or what I did wrong. It turned out that in April I cheated. I ate more cake and had a lot of candy.

          It was the beginning of September and I had to start over almost. My goal is 134 lbs. by December 31. My clothes seemed a bit bulky. I had to resist the urge to start the wardrobe shopping early. I would be going back into the cold weather and hibernating again. I wished summer would stay. Writing seemed to help and it made me become more introspective about myself and the ones around me. I even took up the art of doodleing. An artist I'm not.

          At the beginning of September, my weight was 179lbs. I had 45 lbs. to go. I did a lot of donating. I would buy candy for the trick-or-treaters, but I would donate what was left. That way, there was no temptations for me. November brought Thanksgiving and the turkey and trimmings. I did eat turkey and the veggies. Christmas ended up the same. All the cookies and pie and other goodies Since the cold weather set back in, I couldn't swim. I had to find another outlet. My fingers were itching to write again. December 31 was coming up fast. Would I make my goal? I held my breath, stepped on the scale, closed my eyes, and prayed. After standing still for five minutes, I finally got the nerve to look. What I saw shocked me. The end result was 165 lbs.

          Hawaii was out the window. Thank goodness I didn't make any reservations. I could extend the resolution to April, but I decided against that. Sixty nine pounds was a great loss, but not enough for me. I don't believe in rewarding for a task not accomplished. Scatter my ashes on Hawaiian soil and I'll be eternally grateful.


 

         Darla and her siblings had just buried their parents who suddenly passed away in a head on collision on the way to a relative's home. The funeral was on Sunday and this was Saturday. They were at the home, cleaning it out and getting it ready for a possible sale. There were four siblings and their spouses. The home had eight rooms in total so each person took a room and dug in.

          The room Darla chose was the room that she shared with her younger sister growing up. Since all of the offspring had moved out and began their lives, the parents, particularly the mother, Caryn, started using the closets and empty drawers to store things of theirs. Darla stripped the beds and packed the bedding away in garbage bags to take home. She would need help with the mattresses and the beds being disassembled.

          The next part of the room was the closet. She took the step stool and took the boxes off the shelves and went through them methodically. The first box held hats and scarves from a bygone age. No secrets here. The next box had purses in it. The first was a brown clutch. She went through it to see what it held for her. There wasn't anything. Just some old Kleenex and a handkerchief that smelled of Chantilly perfume. There were seven purses in all. When Darla held the last purse, she reached in and found a gold locket wrapped in fine linen. She opened the locket and there was a strand of hair. It was fine baby's hair. Who's was it?

          Continuing on her quest, she found a small gift that was wrapped in gold, shiny wrap. There was no name on the gift and no indication as to who the recipient was. She placed both the locket and the gift on the nightstand and continued with her task. Three hours later the room was finished except for the moving of the heavy furniture and other items. Darla took the locket and the gift and put them in her purse and did not tell anyone about her treasure for a few days. She did not even tell her husband, Matthew.

          On Tuesday of the following week, her Aunt Laura called her. She had not heard from her aunt since she was ten. Darla was taken aback by the call. It seemed her aunt wanted to know if there were certain items found at Darla's parents home when it was cleaned out. The two particular items she seemed most interested in were a gold locket and a wrapped gift that her sister, Caryn, had kept for her. This answered some of the mystery, but Darla needed to know more.

          At first, Darla made it sound like she had no knowledge of what her aunt was interested in. After some gentle prodding, she found out that the locket belonged to Laura and the baby's hair belonged to a baby that was stillborn. The baby would have been Darla's cousin. It was a little girl. Her name would have been Divinity Grace. Darla was in shock. Who? What? Where? How? Why?Divinity would have been Darla's age. Aunt Laura was not married at that time. Who was the baby's father? Laura would not divulge that secret.

          The most important question Darla had was who was the gift for? She invited Laura to lunch the next day and brought both the locket and the gift with her. While chatting and catching up, Darla was able to extract more information from Laura. The wrapped gift was for Divinity Grace on her Christening Day. It was a smaller locket with a picture of her father inside. He passed away in a drunk driving accident. She wanted to bury it next to her grave. After hearing what Laura had to say, Darla reached into her purse and gave her aunt the string that tied another branch to the family's tree.


 

          Writing.com has been a Godsend to me for the past seven years. The variety it provides for readers and writers is not only encouraging and helpful, but it is inspiring. Writers have a place to visit that will satisfy their thirst for good storytelling and other genres.

          A place to vent is also a place of comfort. Being able to blog, journal, take polls, take surveys, write opinion pieces and essays, take polls for class projects is Writing.com. I would say that Writing.com is pretty even when it comes to have creative fiction opportunities and nonfiction pieces.

          Would nonfiction writers be able to be reviewed properly? There are some writers on Writing.com who do not feel right in reviewing a journal, blog, or a piece that is a true story. There are also reviewers who can be quite nasty when they review a piece that is of a true nature. Once everything is settled, writers on this site would receive a fair review for the most part .
 

          This prompt has to do with a custody battle from the child's point of view. When I read this, the first thing I thought of was the recent case of Sean and David Goldman. Sean was so young when he was taken by his mother to Brazil, never to return to his father. Children of that age do remember their parents. He probably thought he was going to visit his maternal grandparents and come back to his dad and have a normal life. Little did he know that his mother had other plans.

          Children who are abducted by a parent and are subsequently cut out of the other parent's life suffer long term psychological and emotional trauma. They will always have the "Why" question in their minds and "What did THEY do to cause this?" They put the blame on themselves. They feel abandoned, lost, confused, and don't know where to turn or to whom.

          I almost had that type of situation in my family. My husband threatened to take our son to parts unknown and make sure I would never see him again. This was when our son was two. While I was scared, I knew that he would not succeed in his quest to separate me from my child. He didn't have the financial resources and he didn't think his plan through well enough. In the end, he didn't go through with his plan.

          Parents, like David Goldman, who are able to retrieve their children and reacclamate them to some semblance of a normal life are going to have an uphill battle on their hands. Thee will be a great deal of pain and memories that will crop intro the child's life and it will take years of intensive therapy to try to deal with the hurt and pain that was caused. Both the parent and child will have a long, hard road ahead of them.