The wiring of the brain
I wish I did not have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
If I didn’t, I probably would not now have
Post traumatic stress disorder
Or be on such a high dosage of Paxil
I would be able to move beyond things that happened.
They would not make my mind sick.
When bad things happened, I could move on in my life
Instead of becoming bogged down in strife.
Other people say “don’t let it bother you.”
Or “If you dwell on that, it’ll destroy you.”
They don’t understand
I wish I could pour a bucket of black paint
On many events in my memory
I don’t choose to have things play
Over and over and over and over
It is impossible to turn them off
Even with the Paxil
Which I will probably need forever
I will never be free
Of my OCD
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