Day to Day happenings in my life

Empathy

Written for Journalistic Intentions. prompt : "Most of all, you feel unseen and unheard. The other person is demonstrating that there are two things more important than your pain:
Their desire to avoid negative emotions
Their need to offer unsolicited advice."

I think what we’re talking about is empathy. Some people find it impossible to relate to peoples pain and anguish without making the situation all about them.

I’m not saying it’s easy to listen to some harrowing story without wishing you didn’t have to be the one on the receiving end of all the angst, tears and pain of the person relating the story.
Without meaning to generalise I’ve found almost without exception men are the worst culprits for interrupting as someone pours out their troubles. They do this I’m sure with the best of intentions. Their wish to stop seeing someone in pain without being able to fix the problem overcomes the narrator’s wish to spill the beans, to relive the event, to explain.
There is nothing more frustrating when someone has encouraged you to talk about it. You’ve girded your loins to relate the story one more time to yet one more person.
And then you get “ Look, what I think you should do is…”
Sometimes you just want to be heard, to have that person hold your hand and make the right noises.

Then there are the ones who’s main concern is that they aren’t distressed by your event. I actually have an example of such behaviour from a relative when I was desperate for help. My two year old boy had been hit by a car and was in hospital. I had two other children, his twin sister and a four year old. I asked my Mother-in-Law to help out and she said “I couldn’t bear to see Ben like that, it would upset me too much.”
I can’t say with hand on my heart I ever forgave her that.