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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes.  I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
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| 2.เมษายน.2566 Bus left Ubon (11:30) arrived before 19:00 in Udon. Long trip. No drama. Rain poured around Khon Kaen. Seats 1 & 2. Bus was rarely full. Took a taxi home. Pan had quite a bit to carry. Michael's wisdom: friends come and go. (Note: reminded me of traveling. I usually stay in hostels and friendships are ephemeral). Michael (from Bavaria) is married to a Thai from Khorat. They live in Germany. He was quite gentle about how it's not easy. Family obligations, et cetera... 1.เมษายน.2566 A wat-ing we will go. Rambled with Fabrice and Cassandre. Lovely time. Pannya worked and got back to the hotel late. Saw photo of the flood last November. It almost reached the hostel. Lots of photos. Pannya came back late (over-slept) and we walked along the river. 31.มีนาคม.2566 I went to Wat Luang next door. A bit warm today so I'm inside but I need to go out again soon. Spoke French yesterday and today. 30.มีนาคม.2566 No sleep for either of us. Caught 08:30 bus from Udon to Ubon. Made an ass out of myself. 12:00 Maha Sarakam. 14:00 Yasathorn. 15:30+ Udon. Puppy picked us up. Shopping. Ate at Lak Nom Sod. Lovely place. 29.มีนาคม.2566 33 at noon. AQI of 62 (not bad but can barely see clouds through the smoke-haze). Threat of rain... a promise? Pannya is sleeping. He made breakfast for me and lay done again. *sigh* I understand the lack of energy but long-term this isn't good. I'm feeling weak as well. <40 words: Happiness: No worries, no obsessing about the could'ves, would'ves, should'ves, letting go of balloons to pursue their dreams, walking through the dappled days of reality, feet to the ground, embracing small miracles along the way. 34w Sadness: Once again, the letting go, the grieving, your hand slipping out of mine, your heart beating out of time, stopped forever. Greatest sadness? No. Stepping on an ant. Not watering a plant. Not asking you to marry me. 38w I deserve: No more, no less. I've been cursed and blessed. Didn't deserve either. Grace and mercy, the kindness of strangers, the virtues that elude me, vanity staring back from the mirror whispering: let go. 33w Our Love: Your leg traps me, your arms hug, your body keeps me warm. In love? In lust? Or just two lost pieces of the puzzle hooking up. Do I dare let go? Out of time and space, each moment matters in this place. 41w Spring: Heat and smoke give way to wind and rain. Snow melts under an unrelenting sun. What remains in Isan, or Montana, if not the mud that covers us, ushers in the change of seasons, this letting go. 38w 28.มีนาคม.2566 It threatened to rain. Pannya met up with a friend and then we went to the vegetable market. Earlier, last day at class. Said goodbye. Took photos. Stephanie, Mieuw, Suwai had good ideas as usual. I will miss them. I think I understand our rental contract now. It goes through November of this year. It's paid through June. I'm unhappy with myself over a silly matter that doesn't even matter. My brain works against me at times. My arm, my leg, my feet, my back, my skin are doing better. Nothing written, and now it's late, 27.มีนาคม.2566 I'm really worn out. I need to study and can't focus. My brain is fuzzy. It's a hot choke-smoke day outside. Pannya is animated today but I still need to know what's going on and I don't have the oomph to make him tell me. I'm somewhat depressed as well. To Dianne: "My boyfriend was zoned out for 8 hours yesterday. I made him sip water, guided him to bed, checked on him hourly to wipe his face with a damp towel. He refused to speak or interact. He took his happy pills today. All better; but, I'm bitter because he won't explain what's going on. I suspect it's bi-polar or schizophrenia. I do what I can.  I could just walk away... but, that's a high price to pay.  "At 14:30 ... It's 40°C (104°F) and the air quality is very poor (135 here in Udon Thani, 398 in Chiang Rai). I don't dare go outside until evening. I feel trapped. Growing up I disliked the steam of summer and the freeze of winter. I would read. Now? Social media... but it's addictive. Weather matters to some of us. It matters even more to the poor (and homeless, been there). We are fortunate enough to have a/c. I need to focus and study for class tomorrow... but I'm struggling. I should thank everyone who has seen my photos posted on facebook. Double thanks to those who commented. I only post on the Newsfeed because few read my blah-blah blog and fewer read my recent writings and very few ever comment. Yes, this depresses me. I live for connections and Montana is failing me, Thailand is failing me, WdC is failing me. So, I deal with a daily double-dose of disappointment and try not to get too depressed. What would help? Any interaction here, there or elsewhere. 7168 |
| 26.มีนาคม.2566 To Zehra: "I try to get my boyfriend to eat what he orders. He is a bottomless pit though... I'm happy to eat 1/4 of what he orders if he eats the rest (I'm successfully losing weight.) as I was raised to not waste and to recycle (before it was 'cool'; we were poor). Food in Thailand is 'cheap' and plastic is an epidemic. So far to go to change attitudes. That said, shaming, blaming, fining only goes so far in this culture. Education is the key and needs to be bottom up and top down. That said 50 euros is nothing to a wealthy Thai. But a poor Thai may make 300 euros in a month." Pannya is zoning and zonked out, eyes half open, resting, sweating. I used a wet towel to try to cool him off. I can't reach him when he's like this and he hasn't told me what I can do to help and I have no way to reach his family to ask them to explain. It's 39C (102F) at 13:13. Love the a/c ... except when I don't. I want to go out but can't reasonably justify a walk. Humidity is 30% with a slight 11 kph breeze. Death Is Nothing At All Henry Scott-Holland Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again! Be realistic[7] we all die yet some die twice we all die perhaps to meet again we all die savor this moment we all die but some never live Live! Live! Live! How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again! 43 words Edited and posted: "We all die [180.7] 40w Mar#18"  To Rosemary Karel Sinniger: I didn't care for [Brussell sprouts] until my sister made them properly. Broil and/or bacon. Never boil. Newer varieties are easier on the palate. Reconsider! 😃 25.มีนาคม.2566 Pannya didn't come home last night and I didn't sleep well. I don't know all the details, but he's depressed and resting in bed now.  We really need to sort some things out. I didn't realize the rental contract goes until November 1st. We're paid up till the end of May. I think paying June and July would be best as that would give me flexibility for a return date. By then... maybe the best way forward will be clear. I want to be here in July. My present flight leaves April 7th. My visa goes till May 6th. Montana rent is paid through April. Udon Thani rent is paid through May. Possibilities: transfer my money to a Thai bank. Find a place to move to by November 1st. SiSaKet must be considered. Khun Han? Ouch... Pannya's home town 30 minutes south of Sisaket and his home village 15 minutes south of that is very small and I cannot imagine living there. Sisaket may be a great compromise. My effort to learn Thai is hobbled by my lack of focus. CLON COTUM ...because the capital w, s and e were out of reach. Thoughts: I dress like a professional in Thailand because that's how I wish to be perceived. It didn't matter much in Montana and it was problematic elsewhere at other times in my life. Wednesday's lament ... green turns grey at sunset 6 I dress in Sunday's red 8 or pretty-in-pink on Tuesdays. 0 Lonesome blues of Friday come each week; but, 6 Yellow cheers up Mondays. 6 I'm not some messed-up clown, 8 can't turn my smile upside down, 0 and dare not strut in tan like officers. 6 I've never been The Man. © Copyright 2023 Kåre Enga [180.6] (25.mars.2023) 24.มีนาคม.2566 A Blue Day = class. I'm glad we spent 3 days in Vientiane; glad we didn't stay longer. We rested then slept when we got home. Pannya washed the clothes last night. We hung them. They are drying. It may hit 39 (100F) today. Coffee and chocolate for a late breakfast. Rice and pork for elevenses. In a burial ground (Teresita) stone pillars names engraved in ayaguh. the bones now bleached, the spoken words keep dying who will recite the prayers a thousand years from now who will listen [180.5] "Burial Ground, Teresita, 2003 [180.5] <40w Mar#17" }To Pumpkin (heartburn): "And yet there are some very sweet varieties that would do well in a fruit salad. When I write I don't always put much value into conventions. Each language and culture categorizes things differently. Today... is a blue day (sky blue) in Thailand. That means nothing to Americans or Europeans. The same thing with sex and gender (two different but related topics). Thailand and many cultures are much more flexible and acknowledge, tolerate and embrace reality. It's mostly Americans who are confused and insist on putting things like tomatoes into discrete boxes or smoosh them and call it ketchup/catsup." 23.มีนาคม.2566 Back in Udon Thani. This morning we walked to Wat Si Saket as it was only about 4 blocks away. I took a lot of pictures. A couple turned out fine. Also quick photo of the Presidential Palace. Back across the border. Ticket seller couldn't say whether I'd have problems crossing so decided to take local bus, bridge bus and mini-van once on the other side. Not difficult. Just takes time. Visa until May 6. "To rupali: Thank you. I really wanted to prime the pump so-to-say. Flash or short poems are perfect for that. Also... I've been very stressed recently and anxiety and depression has plagued me for years. Very short pieces are better for intense feelings." ![Merit Badge in Be Romantic
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Continue your writing brilliance.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Be_Romantic-2283517_1.gif) Be Romantic This is my need: to wake up next to the one who cuddled me all night, bad breath and all, body odor and all, there's nothing worse than lying alone, someday dying alone, Be my need. Be the one who keeps me warm (until I'm cold). [180.4] Edited and posted as "Be My Need [180.4] 40w Mar#16" 43+w so later for two-bits and a shave. I have no appetite so I eat less. I weighed myself: 79.4 kilo. I'm losing weight slowly, which is probably for the best. I guess my ideal weight is 75 k but I haven't been that in years. To Lyn: "I dare not fall. My mother managed wonderfully until she broke her leg at age 97. Me? My bones seem okay but my back went out last week. My father had a bad back; my sister has had operations. Sidewalks and curbs in Thailand are wonky and it's important to be aware and be careful... at all times. We're home from Laos. Took mini-van and buses. Lots of walking. But walking is better than a tuk-tuk that damages my back." Note: traffic in Vientiane is calmer and slower than Udon Thani. Easier to cross the streets. Vientiane seems to have more coffee shops and students than Udon. City is shabby for a national capital, much prettier than San Jose, Costa Rica though. Waterfront was disappointing. Nong Khai across the Mekong is much nicer. The hotel was close to many things and about 3 blocks from the bus station. Breakfast was included. Mosquitoes were nasty. First night a loud guest kept me up; walls are thin. Area is quiet. People seemed ignorant. Bus? Bus stop? Yes, there are buses! Locals seemed oblivious. Tuk-tuk drivers desperate or just plain greedy? Border isn't bad... just a royal pain. 22.มีนาคม.2566 LAOS after a long wait you arrive handsome hung and horny an answer to my longing life plays party tricks promises portend paradise I'll settle for the soft sea-sounds of your snoring [180.3] Edited and posted as "After a long wait [180.3] 38w Mar#15 [18+] " Breakfast is 7 - 9. Pannya got up early to eat! His stomach's a pit with no bottom. Back in bed before 9.  So we walked. Pannya hates walking; plus it was too hot; but there's a bus! Not that he would ask. Not that Lao locals would know or tell the truth. And he's always visited by car! Gen-Z and clueless. So... we are running out of money. Fortunately a famous religious site took baht and gave me change. One can pay in baht here but at a very poor exchange rate. I have felt ripped off. Next time? Use bank atm or exchange baht or dollars for kip. Pannya went out with a friend. I'm happy for him (as long as he doesn't stay out too late or mess up our morning-plans (Wat Sisaket, Presidential Palace are close for photo op) or mess with our trip back (60+110 = 170 baht). I have 340 baht (found an extra 100) and 1,000 baht as emergency back-up. There's little money for food; he MUST eat breakfast. I have 39,000 kip to keep; 18,000 kip to give Pannya for water (bottled water is essential; that should be enough for 3 bottles). I have $76 dollars for any emergency. 21.มีนาคม.2566 Had difficulty getting started in the morning. My goal was 10 am. We got our tickets by 11 and left around 11:30 getting to the border by 12:30 and then had to wait. I'll need to give details later. Taxi to hotel costs 400 baht. Bus to station costs 60 baht and the hotel is close by. LAOS First impression of Vientiane wasn't too positive. It feels like a shabby sleepy river town. At least it was fairly easy to cross the streets and cars slowed and stopped! Laos (pronounced Lao) is country #45. Prompts: 03/21/2023-"Poetry in my life " 03/22/2023-" After a long waiting." 03/23/2023-"That is my need." 03/24/2023-" In a Burial ground" In my life Mark was the song of my youth: gleen as gleen can be. Kev wrapped me with love: layer upon layer. Gare was all I ever wanted to be — and could not be. Pan proves that I'm not dead yet. [180.2] "In my life [180.2] 40w Mar#14" To Ann: And the rains answer the prayers of the dust. (dampens the day, steam baths the sweat, power-washes the grime away be careful with your wishes we whisper surrounded by mud}) 20.มีนาคม.2566 The Baha'i day starts at sunset. It's already 180 B.E. in Thailand.  ![Merit Badge in Groundhog Day
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Happy New Year. Regardless of the Groundhog's Opinion it's Spring. Have a great day.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Groundhog_Day-2288571.gif) Groundhog Day/ Happy New Year. Regardless of the Groundhog's Opinion it's Spring. Have a great day. Summary 179: Blog views in 179: 7141-5670 = 1471 about 4/day. Few comments. Pieces written in 179: 157+ (there are quite a few unnumbered and unedited 'serenades' for summer. Present recognition: 512 LAST DAY OF 179 BE. 20.มีนาคม.2566 https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23627382/progress-climate-change-poverty-globa... Photo  Passport for Pannya Two crisp $20 bills for border entry to Laos Workers at Thai passport office, Photo shop, Money exchange were all wonderful. *bismile* Pannya is becoming more invested in our relationship. Interesting development!  7141 |
| 19.มีนาคม.2566 To Neva on fb: "I do get the message. However, many books have killed. Even today the Bible is misused to abuse people and yes, even to kill them. And even a ban on guns won't help that. It doesn't help that some of the book-banners are Bible-believing gunslingers." Last night in bed was 'interesting'. Problems with Laos plans. I begged Pannya to renew his passport. It's easy, quick and cheap; but... now he says he can't go to Laos because... I moved Tuesday's class to travel with him? Still... he can get a 3 day border pass (does that include the day it's issued?). If so 20, 21, 22 would be 2 nights in Vientiane, which is close and therefore not too stressful. I need to check options. I'm running out of time though. My current visa expires the 24th and I have class that day as well. Destiny unknown There is only a guide to life, a map so to say, but the wayfarer must learn by walking the paths, each an adventure when one slows down to enjoy it with someone. I want to enjoy it with my lover. But without a passport the borders are closed. Edited and posted in "Destiny unknown [179.156] 36w Mar#12" To Paul: "Yeah... there's the rub. Benevolent kings and queens accomplished much... but then their children or grandchildren became spoiled and greedy and... the rest is history. However, not all advances cycle back, so there's hope. An example? The Wheel!" To Oldgreywolf: "I prefer Pope Joseph to Tyrant Trump but even Dictator Donald didn't destroy everything... he left some for Saint de Santis. Actually, DJT was more like Andrew Jackson, allowing the rabble in to create chaos and havoc... not always unwarranted... not always wrong... but very destructive, and just like Jackson, racist (with xenophobia, nativism, nationalism, theocracy thrown in). Regardless, governments are not perfect, but when there are better choices, choose better." Jellyfish parenting: https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/parenting/jellyfish-parenting-isn-t-just-a-s... To Steven: "I used to know quite a few non-believers, but they are no longer active. A couple of active names come to mind because I read their blogs. I would say that Mid-American White Christians set a general tone at WDC just like Theravada Buddhism does here in Thailand. WDC used to be more diverse. In general Thais tend to be more tolerant than many Americans or folks here at WDC. But that said, other social media sites are downright brutal. Lots of Hate on-line. Both Neva and I are Baha'is. Neva never pushes her faith on others. Me? I get frustrated and rant. There are Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists here as well, but most are careful with what they say and how they say it." 18.มีนาคม.2566 At last the rash fades from red to pink the bruise turns into rainbows the future lies beyond the wounds the ones we survive and smoke gives way to rain and joy overcomes the pain [154] Edited and posted as "At last [179.154] 37w Mar#10" BCoF The daffodils march on and on through all my childhood dreams and a myriad of tulips bloom or so it seems; but now the smoke and chilies choke and durian fills the air and stenches oh to be young again with all my senses Edited and posted in " Daffodils march on and on [179.155] 40w Mar#11" To Waltz: "There are no blue moons in the Baha'i calendar... because... every month has 19 days. I'm sharing a place... which means that we both have quirks and neither of us is wrong. Although... going out the door (even downstairs) without the key and keycard is a no-no. I locked the door to take a shower (we usually leave it unlocked... this place is safe... like Pleasantville circa 1960). I heard him knock but I didn't open the door until I felt like it. It's a lesson that needs to be learned. I check my pockets every time, proclaiming, "Key, Keycard". I do not want to be locked out and the elevator won't take me to the 8th floor without my keycard. As for cats... sometimes better than a clock." 17.มีนาคม.2566 A dusty grey-blue day. My nerves are shot. Your way or the highway? I choose My Way and landed in Norway fifty years after I dreamt it. I wakened to it. The vidda snow capped, my thinning hair turning white, no way to deny the advance of age, the calming of rage, the Coming Home. [153] Edited and posted in "Coming Home [179.153] 40w Mar#9" To Steven: "There are different levels of homelessness for sure. Car, shelter, friend's couch, tent, a covered corner out of the rain. Some folks did two weeks in a cheap motel and two weeks in a shelter. One week eating steak; three weeks eating slop. I did one year at a friend's place, two years in a shelter, another year at a different friend's place. It took 4 years. One year I had no income the entire year. It's why I was grateful to find a cheap place in Montana for the past 15 years... but it may be time to move on. When everything went down the drain in 2003, I wouldn't have predicted living in Oklahoma. Montana was not even given a thought. Nor was living in Costa Rica again. Or traveling? Around the world? Probably country #45 next week? Thinking about living in Thailand? There is life after homelessness... in spite of it never seeming to end." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAX6fsvXKw7M 16.มีนาคม.2566 To Jessica: "It's not necessary that all your friends agree with each other... or even agree with you! My opinion? Do what is best for each relationship." 03/15/2023-"The fear of death." "Death, be not estranged [179.151] 40w Mar#7" 03/16/2023-" The hospitality." 03/17/2023-" The joy of achieving your dream " 03/18/2023-" At last." 03/19/2023-" Destiny is unknown" Thai smiles: It's the smiles that deceive/beguile you. Make you feel welcome enough to stay awhile (or forever); but, beware their wiles! Their guile knows no bounds (Their is bound). Go to Thailand. It's ab-fab worthwhile... but for a trial. Their lifestyle may, or may not, not suit you. [152] reconcile, versatile, textile, beguile, bibliophile (not). Posted as "Thai Smiles {179.152] 40w Mar#8 " The power of Picard swearing! https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/star-trek-swear-words-and-tv-characters-changi... To Tina: "Edit: 1. you have double-adjectives and adverbs that weaken the narrative. One will do or replace both with a stronger word. 2. I do believe it shocks because the mother goes through with it. It was not unheard of 200 years ago in impoverished communities, still isn't (conversation last April... present tense). 3. What is your word count (and goal)? Contests and even submissions usually have word counts in mind. Snip a few words and add a few, but I wouldn't make it much longer. Horror is best served hot or cold and this has ice flowing through it. I think the intro is E, not non-E, but could be better. The language is no worse than a fairy-tale, so 13+ overall imho. 4. Could use a stronger title. Yes, it's about motherly love, but that makes a very weak title. Even a simple date "March 16th" or time (pick one) "Half-past Noon" "2 in the morning" "Pecan Picking Season" etc... would work better (think of the date in "The Lottery") Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lottery has some good pointers. "The Lottery" was set in a time and place and that helped make it real, why it provoked outrage, why it's considered a must-read 75 years later. 5. Steven should read this from a horror-writer's perspective; but don't wait. Edit now and re-edit later. *Shock2* Consider his contest because this fits into the horror genre even better than death, dark, emotional. So yeah...I don't do reviews; but, this is a keeper." I get tired of stupid and disrespectful. 15.มีนาคม.2566 Y'know... went out with Paulo (leaving next week) and Sayan (who was recently ill). I thought just to see a cafe. It became going out to a Vietnamese restaurant. Pannya wasn't ready to go out, so I figured I'd be back soon. Came back with food and... there he sat staring for over 2 hours... I try. I really try. Just got him to stand up and guided him to the toilet. I hope he takes a shower and agrees to go for a walk. I know he's worried, stressed out, and depressed; but, I can't help when he dissociates (because I don't know where he goes...). We went for a walk, bought some food. He's a bit better now. 14.มีนาคม.2566 To Fathertymme: I just blah-blah-blaahg. It really doesn't matter. But it helps me keep track of the days and reminds me that I do accomplish something in spite of my depression. That has lifted a bit. Coming to Thailand has been challenging, but good mentally. It forces me to pay attention to the present (as my Montana routines are upended) and my future looks very different than a year ago. Off to Thai language class today. It's a pink day, a Tuesday... The view of bare butt-cheeks in the morning... is this a prompt? 13.มีนาคม.2566 I responded to BKC, What Can I Do blind o_o /: Thank you for your support. There isn't as much support as there used to be in society in general. I'd say we've left the Age of Aquarius and entered the Error of Estrangement (word choice on purpose). I'd love some comments on this era of distancing, disagreeable disagreements, dissing... in general. Are you experiencing this in your own life? Ponnya and I will brave the smoke-choke to get a coffee and eat. We did go out 304 baht for the two of us. Bought a few things at 7-11 on the way back. My back isn't as bad but I must be careful. As for breathing... wore a mask. The smell of fish boiling, the aroma of cilantro, the stench of... something rotting. What did I say that upset you. Why is there blood turning black in the sink. Where's the dog, the cat, my mother? Am I sure that's fish? [150] Edited and posted as "Dinner for two [179.150] 40w Mar#6" 7016 |
| 12.มีนาคม.2566 I hope... that flames do not consume us, that the smoke doesn't choke, that you'll return to sleep by my side, that rains will fill our dreams, that we will swim as one. [149] A red day. Hazardous AQ. Pannya off to Nong Bua Lomphu for work. I explained that I want to go with him. Does he understand? My back... better than yestereve. I'm being careful. 11.มีนาคม.2566 Ponnya works today? 13:30 - 20:00? Paulo went to Laos so he can renew his passport. I will definitely need details when he returns. 15,30,45 day visas... conflicting information in Udon. Ponnya made breakfast but I have no appetite and it's difficult to eat some things since I can no longer chew properly. Thick air. Letter to latter Day Hebrews "That Book" Yeah, the one that tells lies about me. The one that only shows one side of the conversation. The one that misquotes me, misunderstands me, makes me the Bad Guy. There was no war before you came along. There will be no war after you-all die. Heavily edited and posted in "Letter to Latter Day Liars [179.148] 40w" 10.มีนาคม.2566 I have class at 14:00; I leave at 13:30-ish. I bought a book that includes vocabulary and grammar. I think it will help. Ponnya got home in the morning, earlier than I expected. He ate, made rice for me and now is sleeping... my Sleeping Beauty. It's 11 and I need to focus. Can I? Will I? To Brian: "WDC was a godsend when I was homeless. Covid... however... I needed hugs that I didn't get. Even with the barriers of language and culture, I'm doing better in Thailand at the moment. That said... isolation is increasing in many societies... Even WDC is more impersonal than it once was... in my opinion." March on? Even the birds are listless, the clothes barely move in the morning. Nothing runs quickly through the smoky heat except for fire and anger. Both need to be doused. I'd give him a kiss; but why wake Sleeping Beauty? Edited in "Pannya at 11:07 [179.146] Mar#3" Rubber band: we approach. we flee. carefully. boomerangs are deadly, rubber bands bring closure or cause pain. attachment can be deadly. "Let go". They warn but do not know... when two are one that's a no-go. Edited in "Rubber band [179.147] 37w Mar#4" 9.มีนาคม.2566 Ponnya had a delightful way of waking me up this morning. I could deal with that every day. I love it when he's happy. Ponnya: cooked rice and fish from breakfast. Squid and vegetables for elevenses. He eats. I watch. I really don't have an appetite. To Phyllis: Ideas, thoughts, dreams... golden light at the zenith, burnt copper at the fade of day. Why don't we just hang out? https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/nobody-knows-how-to-hang-out-anymore-a... So... Ponnya goes out and then visits family 2 hours away and isn't coming home tonight. I really find the lack of communication difficult. 8.มีนาคม.2566 Ponnya leaves for work tomorrow. Enigmatic and non-communicative as usual. Update: now he says he canceled. After a couple days of constipation ... diarrhea ... wonderful. Wash will get done today.  Festival of colors: Always colorful in Udon. One festival after another. Orange to celebrate the city on its day. Red for Lunar New Year. What color is the sky if not blue? It's smoky today. We thirst for rain. May the sky turn black with bolts of lightning. May rains come. Turned this into "Colors of hope (in Udon Thani) [179.144] 39w Mar#1" "Hate is another form of love." There is a line down the highway. You stay on your side I stay on mine. We'll both be happy. But Life laughs and lines wiggle. You wag your fingers then cross onto the other side. Yes, hate resembles love. Yes, I love you. Turned into "Crossing Lines [179.145] 40w M#2 " To Robert: doesn't mean that we can't strive to do better in the future, with updated experience and knowledge. Oh... may I rant? I am frustrated with religious traditionalists who believe in a black/white viewpoint based on a literal understanding of their scripture. They are stuck in the past neither updated experience nor knowledge seems to impress them. Quite the contrary. They rage and rage against the Light." 7.มีนาคม.2566 Leftover pork satay for breakfast. Trip home: boom, boom, boom. No one said anything to the driver. My teacher Mieuw explained to me later that no one says anything when they think the driver is aggressive. Class went fine. Lots of cultural knowledge. I need to buckle down on my studies though. Shrimp-something and pork and sticky rice. Bought 6 pairs of socks for 100 baht. That's about 50 US cents each. I needed socks. 6.มีนาคม.2566 In Nong Khai. No problem getting here and fortuitous in a way as there's a party in the streets. National festival? Local? Ponnya is constantly hungry. I'm not. Plus... I cannot eat chili peppers. Took photos. Met Ponnya's friend. I have no energy. |
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