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 |   A day in the life of... me! |
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A HUGE Thank you to Emily   for the beautiful ribbon  First place in "The Bard's Hall Contest"  for July/August 2012!A day in the life of... me! Sometimes I need to rant. Sometimes I have something burning on my mind. Sometimes I'm so angry I feel like reverting back to old coping mechanisms. So I thought a journal was a good idea! I feel ranting is an important part to life, everyone does it to some degree or another and it's not healthy to bottle things up inside. So for those moments where I feel a rant (or just a general thought) and want to get it off my chest, here it will be! However, ranting is not everything. Sometimes I just feel like I want to share something with someone, and often there is nobody to listen (wow that makes me sound sad! I do have friends but I tend to let them do the talking rather than share). So here I can get things off my chest, rant or be happy, whatever the mood ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| So I spent my day yesterday scraping wallpaper from a wall. I knew it was going to be a hard task, after all, it required the use of a steamer in an already really hot flat on an already really hot day. I came away with several scraped knuckles, a burn on my leg where a drop of boiling hot water hit me (I was wearing shorts to combat the heat) and several bruises all over my calves. Despite that, I also came away with a sense of accomplishment. It's not something I've done before but because it's my flat I'm determined to do as much as I can myself. My partner did help me with it and without him I would have been lost! And my dad is going to do the papering as I feel that's just a little too much for me... I'd be worried I got it wrong and the wallpaper was expensive... so if it goes wrong it's his fault hehe. No I wouldn't hold it against him anyway, he's doing me a favour. Last week my car failed it's MOT. Sad times  Fortunately there was only one thing wrong with it and I managed to get it in and it got fixed yesterday. However, it left me with a big chunk of money missing. I'm struggling a little financially this month and I have a big day coming up soon: Ladies Day. I'm going out with the girls, in a lovely dress with my heels on to drink cider from plastic cups and bet on the racing. It's always a fun day but I think my purse is over stretched as it is. Perhaps only a few bets... and not to mention I have these HUGE bruises on my legs now that I need to try and get rid of *sigh* I'm starting on iron tablets and vitamin c in the view to helping.I've been called in to do overtime tonight as work as the other guy is off sick at the minute. Usually I don't mind covering shifts and I said I would do tonight but the hostel is very restless at the minute and requires a lot of brain power and sometimes physical power too. Physical power in the way that I'm traipsing up three flights of stairs every two minutes. I guess I shouldn't complain, I did want more exercise after all! I've nearly finished editing my novella! I did a final edit and now I'm doing a read through making final changes... got up to chapter 8 the other night so I'm hoping in these four nights on I'll manage to get them finished, put together and sent off! hehe. And also hoping to enter a few more contests. Found out I won first place in "Invalid Item" which was really cool! Anyway, I'm off to get some breakfast! |
| How does everyone feel about pseudonyms? I hadn't thought I would want to use one until I got to submitting my novella. I'm finally in a job that I love, settled in my own place and I got to thinking... I don't want that to change. Not that I'm trying to assume I will get published, but if I do, and my name is out there, it means things will change. Probably. And I don't want that to happen. So I decided to adopt a pseudonym. I've had one for a little while now but I was reading up on them last night about the pros and cons of having them etc and the technicalities involved. Does anyone else have a pseudonym? Do you think the right thing? Did you come up against anything because of having one? |
After reading Uncommonspirit  's latest blog entry and feeling an innate need to go and research, I've found out that there aren't any writing groups here in the North East. At least, none that advertise on the internet. And while I've managed to find some great North East publishers and competitions that I'm planning on having a go at, I'm thinking there needs to be more. If I was to arrange a writers group what sort of things would be expected, how would I advertise, would I have to 'lead' the group as such? These are all questions rolling around my mind and I think there are probably many more I haven't thought about. At the minute I'm busy editing a novel ready for re-submission but sometimes I'm not feeling inspired, and particularly to write new things. I tend to think if I surround myself with other creative people the spark will return as a fiery furnace! |
| So I've been feeling a little sorry for myself because I'm really under the weather. Right now I'm curled up on the sofa under a nice fleecy blanket with the laptop on my knee. I've just finished a steaming hot bowl of tomato soup and all is well... except I have to leave in less than an hour to get to work *sigh* never mind, no rest for the wicked! I had quite a productive night last night. I managed to get through all of my emails, responding, deleting and returning reviews that were given to me. It felt nice to do as I don't think I've done that many reviews in a night for a long time and it's not like I even planned it. Unfortunately my productivity then stopped as I moved on to try and edit the third chapter of my novella ready to re submit but bearing in mind it was 5am my mind was too foggy and I had to give up and decided to read instead. Fingers crossed for tonight! I've just booked my tickets for Ladies Day too! It's something I've done a few times and I love getting to dress up, get some nice make up on and head to the racecourse with a blanket, a picnic basket and waterproofs all for the sake of a day out with the girls and a few misplaced bets on the horses. It's not something I'm all that bothered about but I love being with my friends so I'm quite looking forward to it. The next problem is the dress... I have several I could wear but they've all been seen but I can't afford to spend a fortune for a new one. I'm going shopping with my sister on Tuesday (who is also coming) and hopefully we'll both manage to find something! |
| So for the past few days I've been thinking that I need to update my blog but everytime I come to sit down and type, my mind goes blank. Well, I'm not having that trouble now. I seem to be feeling overly emotional tonight. Why? I don't know. But I am. I think this is the reason why this evening's events so far have hit me harder. It's my second in three shifts. The night itself (so far) has been fairly quiet with most people in their rooms and me spending time cleaning. One thing has really brightened things up. A police officer turned up with a rat. Yeah that's right, a rat. It's a pet of one of our residents and despite the fact that we don't allow pets here it needed a safe place to be for the night. So right now I have the cutest (and I never thought I'd use that word to describe a rat) keeping me company!  So that's fun. The other part hasn't been great and has left me doubting myself and my actions and left me feeling emotional. I had plans to edit some chapters tonight but I don't think that's going to happen... |
| So I had a really awesome time at Download. It was nice and sunny so I was able to get some sun on my pale skin and enjoy it! My partner and my best friend got along. It doesn't sound like much but in the past they haven't really seen eye to eye. They talked to each other and it wasn't awkward or anything, and after I was worried about being piggy in the middle too. We saw some really cool bands... my favourites were Rammstein, Five Finger Death Punch and Stone Sour. I've loved them all for a while and though I've seen Rammstein before it never gets old! The only killer was the drive home. We left my house at 6:30am and were up an hour before that and didn't get home until 4:30 this morning. It was quite a scary drive to say the least. And since I was the only one who could drive, I had to. I felt myself drifting a couple of times and I've vowed never to do it again. How easy it could have been, just a further slip of the wheel and I might not have been here. And for what? To save a little money. Well let me tell you, I've learned my lesson. I had some really awesome news today! I picked up my post from my parents house and opened a letter to find out that I've been given a pay rise! It was totally unexpected and I'm not sure if it's across the whole company or just me, but I love it! I still can't quite believe it and even rang up to try and speak to someone to make sure it was correct! I haven't exactly been struggling with money but if this is a correct letter, then I won't need to worry so much anymore! |
| Another catch up entry to make up for when I couldn't get here! Today I'm going for breakfast with my family and my partner and then getting ready as I'm going to a festival for the day tomorrow, very excited! I’ve come to the realisation that I’m quite a selfish person. In some ways I’m really not. I have volunteered for years and still do, give to charity when I can and work in a charitable organisation too. But in other ways, I wonder if I’m ready to grow up. Who knows, maybe now that I’ve realised this, I am. My partner told me that he can’t wait to start a family with me in the next few years. And I got to thinking about this. For a while I’ve been pretty adamant that I’m nowhere near ready to have kids and though I want them someday I always thought I wasn’t ready to give up time for me to have a baby. I guess in a way that’s being responsible enough to admit that. But then I wonder, what would be wrong with having something so little be dependant on me. I know I could be a good mother, at least I hope I could. And there would always be time to myself, I would find it in those little moments, online, reading, watching a film, it’s just that there wouldn’t be enough. But life isn’t about being alone and doing it on your own, it’s about being with the people around you that matter the most, your family, your friends, your partner, your kids. And what would be better than sharing my life with my children? Being with my children and my partner. I guess it’s not so scary after all. Still, there are a few obstacles we have to cross before this can become a reality or before I’m ready for it to become a reality. I need to know I’ll be supported wholly by my partner. I love him with everything but love can’t provide. I need to know I’ll be financially secure, especially since I just bought my flat. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable expectation. Who knows, maybe him thinking this and wanting to move on with our relationship will help that process go a little faster. Fingers crossed. |
| So today is my fifth day off work and it's lovely. I haven't really done an awful lot while I've been off, pottered around here and there, picked out some wallpaper and paint, spent a bit of time with my family. Tonight I've organised a little get together at my flat where there will be friends and family, beers and a movie I'm really looking forward to it! Last week while I had no access to the internet I started blogging a couple of entries on Word and I wanted to pop one of them in now. It's in no particular order and I'm not feeling down or anything, it's just some thoughts I've been having! There’s only one person in this whole world who makes me feel stupid for being me. I don’t think she means to do it either. It’s one of my friends, a friend I’ve had for ten years and have known since school. She’s a really blunt person and I’ve always known that about her but still, I seem to take it to heart. Sometimes I think it’s because of something she says but then mostly I think it’s to do with my insecurities. But then, when I think about it, I’m not even sure what I’m insecure about. Sure she has a lot that I don’t, but I’m happy with what I have and knowing that I’ve worked damned hard to get there. She’s a really confident person and I think that can be daunting sometimes. She’s always so sure of herself and never seems to get flustered. I’m sure she does, but when we’re together, with our group of friends, I’ve only ever seen her know what she wants and go after it. I realise that makes me sound jealous, but I’m not. I’m trying to figure out why I feel smaller than her, lower. Sometimes I wonder if she even likes me, but to have been friends for ten years, I’m guessing she must. I’m not generally the insecure type either, maybe I’ll figure it out one day. |
Last night was a really tough night at work. Usually it's lone working and I would have to deal with it alone but I was blessed to have someone shadowing me who seemed to take it all in her stride. It was great to have someone there for reassurance and for calmness when my brain got fried. Honestly, there was arguing, vandalism, fighting, emotions flying, intruders and loud people, cut hands and banged heads and a lot of angry women. I haven't had a night like that in a while really and I guess for being there for a year now, I'm doing okay on that front. It did leave me feeling kind of mentally exhausted but then, after finishing this chaotic twelve hour shift... I headed out with my friend to do my first ever spinning class. At first it was just exhausting, but when I slowed it down and took it at my own pace, it made it much easier and my chest calmed. But my when I got off that bike I didn't think my legs were going to hold me! So far so good though, let's just hope it keeps up! And onwards for a day in York of friend-visiting and baby hugging  |
| So tonight I went to watch The Woman in Black at the Theatre Royal with one of my good friends. We don't see each other much but it's always a treat and she always makes me smile. I went in, expecting to be slightly apprehensive, but I tell you want, I was darn terrified! The whole thing from the beginning, meeting the characters and getting to know them, to the travel to Eel Marsh and the town beyond. The cart and pony, the dog and the fog. It was all there. All of it. Despite the fact that the only things on stage were two chairs, a trunk and a clothes rail with a few other things. And just two actors throughout the whole thing. One man played the main character while the other played several. The stage was just about bare yet the atmosphere could have been cut with a knife at times and it was all to do with the sound, lighting, acting and it really made me think about the way we construct stories. I think it made me realise just how important characterisation, atmosphere and tone is to getting that piece right. I'm going to hold onto this as I continue to edit! |
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Just for you BJ Hope your have'n a good day. 
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