I'm doing it again, looking towards a fresh start on the road to throwing it all out there. I want this road to be paved with meaning and intensity. The way I try to do everything. I'll lighten it up along the way, but not too much. Complacency is not what I have ever done; I think I have tried for "complacent" in recent years and have failed spectacularly. So this new beginning?
I'm stripping off the mask.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on
-Billy Joel
To be quite frank, to care deeply is to never be free. I am so hard wired to care about others needs and wants, that I will sacrifice any time I have for someone else. I am so hard wired, that I actually take pleasure in this. I joke all the time that I have fulfilled my life's calling-to be a responsible adult. I've been practicing since I was 3 years old.
I know this sounds silly, but maybe...maybe you can put on the ol' troop leader hat again, this time for Olivia, and come up with all kinds of fun, crazy, exciting ways to lead those girls. Heaven knows, that's what's keeping me together right now. All of my ideas, suggestions, etc., I let the girls know, and with their work and my help, they come to fruition, and then I feel like I'm making a difference in someone's life. It's not being an actual teacher, but I actually kinda like this better.
To be even more frank, even if I DID have time to just do whatever I want to do (which I sorta kinda do...), I'd still choose to do something for someone(s) else. I guess I'm just hard wired that way.
Be free while raising Olivia...do it differently than your own 3 kids. That is what I have learned in my 68 years. You are frustrated sure...but hey, frustration is a part of life, a VERY large part. Go with the flow.
Friends... drift? Yeah. Been thinking about that. Saw someone I admire at market on Saturday. He's back! But... it won't be the same. We've drifted apart and that's okay. He was there for a reason. I have to accept that.
Other friends I'm more attached to. One returns this week. And... well... that won't be the same either but we are closer.
Awwww, thank you!! You're a fantastic friend, and I really enjoy seeing you do things you enjoy and make you feel good! I will be around as long as you want me to, okay? I usually get outgrown more than I outgrow to be honest.
I'm so happy to help, and glad to have a friend like you!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.24 seconds at 5:05pm on Jun 02, 2024 via server web2.