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A continuation of my original blog, "Surviving Motherhood". |
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Welcome to my world of middle school, high school, and motherhood. The life of a mom is never easy, especially as children grow, and especially when you have a special needs child. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| As you all know, I start my Christmas shopping very early. Around September. In order to get a full Christmases worth of things, I have to start early and go a little at a time. This works well for me for the most part. However, something has changed from last year to this year. And that something is Ryan being home. Last year, it was easy to get packages and hide them as soon as they came. The UPS man stops by the house around 3:15 pm, which I'm still here to receive those packages, put them upstairs in my hiding spot, and go get the kids. The mail lady drops off anywhere between 11:30 am to 2:15 pm. Ryan now gets home around 2 pm every day. Do you see the problem here? So, Ryan was starting to notice that a lot of packages were coming in. He even had to take one upstairs to my room for me, not knowing what it was, but knowing that it was huge (at least light as well). Curiosity was starting to get the better of him, but he never let it show to us. I've debated since he found out there was no Easter Bunny if I would tell him about Santa, and last night, we finally decided it was time. We sat him down and told him that we actually do Santa's work, and how Santa is the spirit of Christmas and of giving, and love, and generosity and all good things that are Christmas. "We're the ones that give you all the presents," we admitted. Ryan looked at the Wii, looked at his 3DS, and then put his hands to the side of his head and mocked an explosion. "Mind...BLOWN" he said. Just like I knew he'd be. (Can I predict this kid, or what?!) We talked about it a little bit more, and we asked him to please keep it quiet for Journey. "Just play along this year. She'll be suspicious if you don't get presents from Santa, so you'll be getting some too. Just know though that it's us, and we're giving you things we think you'll really like". He was quite good with it. He didn't get angry, or upset, he didn't really freak out in any way. He took the news with grace, and was amazed and grateful, just as I knew he'd be. I explained to him about layaway, and how putting a little down at a time can add up to a bigger purchase, hence the Wii and the 3DS. He was awed at that information. As soon as we shared about Santa, he asked if that meant that the Tooth Fairy wasn't real either. We got outed on that as well. Oh well, at least now he knows, and he promised not to tell Journey like he did with the Easter Bunny. We advised him that, when the time is right, we'll sit down together as a family, and break it to Journey. For now, it's best just to let her believe. |
| So, the good news is in: Roz has been fixed. We had to get a loan from my brother in order to do it, but she's been taken care of. I will pay my brother back as soon as we have the funds to do so. I'm so relieved. I'm grateful for everyone that helped us and offered rides, it means so much to me. People are kind, and care. We are very blessed. Hopefully we'll resume to our normal lives and continue on. Sad news: I'm losing one of my girls. Her schedule is just too much to handle, and they talked it over and decided that leaving the troop would be the best thing for them at this point. I'm sad to see her go, and I hope she does good in all her future endeavors. There will always be a spot for her in our troop if she ever wants back in. Hopefully we'll be taking our field trip to the volunteer rescue squad this afternoon. I need to call them and confirm, and also find my umbrella, as it might be raining while we're walking. Good thing it's only across the way. The kids are slowly making their Christmas lists. This is the latest they've ever made them. The good news is, we can go to Don's Christmas party this year, and the kids can talk directly to Santa again. I was worried that since Roz was out of commission, we were going to have to try and see Santa on the square this year. Either way isn't bad, but I think Ryan, at 11, would be less inclined to sit on the big guy's lap and ask him for presents. If he ends up spying any of these packages and what's inside them, I'm going to have to break the "Santa" news. I don't want to ruin it for him, because it's special, and it's something sweet to believe in, it brings hope to Christmas, but at the same time, it's becoming a little illogical for Ryan at this point, if only because sooner or later he's going to find out, and because also he's getting to the point where he's too big to tell Santa what he wants. I've put a lot of effort into this elaborate rouse, and I really don't want to out us, but if it comes down to it, I will. I just don't want to break him. That's all for now. |
| So, for as much as I bragged about my daughter having friends that always want to play her way...*eyeroll* As normal, children decide what they can tolerate, and will move on if the game gets overdone/boring. Journey, being autistic, gets fixated on things easily. Routines and such. She wants to ALWAYS play kitty and doggy chase, it's her favorite game. Sam and Bradley are two of her favorite people. It's only natural in Journey's mind to play the game she loves so much with the people she cares about. Unfortunately, Sam and Bradley grew tired of the game, so they moved on, and began playing other things, leaving Journey all alone once more. When I asked her who she played at recess with today, she told me sadly that Sam and Bradley decided not to play with her anymore. She broke down and started crying. "Why Mama, why?" She asked, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. I explained how some kids grow tired of the same game all the time, and want to do something different. "I know you want to keep playing it because you love it baby, but sometimes, people can only play so many times until they want to play something different," I explained. She nodded her head. "That's what friends do, sometimes they play the way you want to play, and sometimes you play the way they want to play, okay?" She nodded. So then we began to work on a social script. I suggested to her she go up to Bradley or Sam tomorrow, and ask them "What do you want to play?", and once they answered, if it was something she was interested in playing, she should ask "Can I play too?". We're going to practice that tonight again before bed, and tomorrow morning when I walk her into school. I really hope it works, and I hope she gets to play with her friends again tomorrow. So, we sat down to dinner after the boys got home from soccer practice. Journey was listening to us talk, and began mimicking the lines she liked the most. (She does this all the time, especially with TV shows and books). I laughed and asked her if she liked the sound of the phrase I just used. She said yes. Don and I began to talk about her mimicking, and the time she mimicked Don when she was 11 months old. We had a laugh, and I reminisced on how it happened during one of our many hurricane scares. Don and I got a little loud as we were debating how many hurricanes have come our way, and Journey began crying. She snuggled next to me, and then she snuggled into Don, still sobbing. "Oh Journey, oh sweetheart, please don't cry! We're not mad! We were just debating! I'm so sorry we were loud! Please don't cry! I promise you, Daddy and I are not mad, okay? I'm sorry baby," I tried to console her. She sniffed and snuggled me once more. To try and get her spirits lifted, I decided to change the subject and talk about the kittens on the kitten-cam, which brought out a lot of giggles and smiles. Glad I saved that one. I was really surprised that she thought we were angry when we were debating at the table; we've had this talk about loud not being mad before, but I guess she forgot about it. I should bring it up to her speech pathologist, see what she says. She may have a better suggestion for me. So all in all, it's been a very emotional day for Journey. I'm sure she's drained. Hopefully that will help her sleep tonight. I found out she stayed up last night cleaning and re-organizing her room. I can't force her to sleep, so I let her do what she's going to do, and hopefully by morning she wakes up without much hassle. |
| So the most wonderful of things happened today. /sarcasm. Roz, our beloved car, stopped running while Don was driving to work this morning. Ray of light: we have AAA, so to tow her from the side of the road on the way to Don's work back to our house was free. Thank God for that. Don was worried that a piston shot through the block of the engine, thus our engine would be kaput, as well as our car altogether. So I decided to check her out and see if she would start when we got home. Ray of light: she starts and she runs for the first 5 minutes I ran her, and again when I ran her for another 7 minutes to do some snooping around on her. Bigger ray of light: is not a piston that shot through her block. If it was, the car wouldn't even start. She starts, and she runs....but I don't know how long that's going to last. The thermostat gauge in the car won't level to in the middle anymore. It stays on cold, which I know she's not. I've told many mechanical friends what happened when Don drove her, and how she cut off, and now that she's back home running again. Really bad news: it could be her head gasket. These things cost around $2500 to fix. (Mostly it's inflated with labor, because it's very intensive working on the engine and getting it fixed.) Problem: We're only getting in about $100 on payday after paying our bills. Sooo.... Looks like no Christmas this year. Either that, or we say "forget it", depend on other people for rides till tax time when we can afford to pay for a head gasket and labor. I really hate asking other people though. I really do. I hate feeling like a burden on someone. Unfortunately, not much we can do at this point. *sigh.* |
| So, we had a playdate with K and her son today, for Ryan's enjoyment. Currently, Ryan is grounded from electronics until he can get his math grade up to at least a B, so I figured setting up a playdate with his best friend would be a nice way for him to get out of the house, stop dwelling on the electronics, and get to talk to his friend. Of course, my fun is that I get to talk to K while the kids play, which I LOVE doing! K is one of my favorite people! She tells me about her experiences with autism with her son, which I feel honored to hear. I love when I get to connect with a parent about the topic, and K is one of my favorite people, so getting to connect with her on this means so much to me. As we made it to the park, Journey recognized one of her very best friends, and they began to play together. K and I talked about how her son and how Journey attempt recess with other kids. Up until last year, Journey used to roam the playground, wandering freely. Well, to be honest, she still does that...however, last year, her best friend took to following her and attempting to get her engaged with him so they could play. He's quite persistent!! Well, just this year, the same thing is happening. Her good friend plays her faithful side kick kitty, and she gives him directions on where to go and what to do. Sam follows her everywhere. Not to be outdone, Bradley pretends to be the dog that chases the kitty, and thus inserts himself into the game as well. Both Sam and Bradley insert themselves into her presence, so she notices them and communicates and engages with them. Because Journey is autistic, she tends to play beside other kids, and when invited to play with other kids, attempts to play for a few minutes, but usually ends back up just being by herself. Bradley and Sam don't let her do that though. They don't just walk away from her when she gets distracted, or consider it a bad take when she starts wandering. Not to say that they force her to play with them, no not at all. Instead, they make their presence well known, and continue to engage her. These boys play the way she wants to play. I kinda feel sorry for Sam, because he's always going to be her kitty...but to know that this little boy, this wonderful little boy, not only befriended my daughter, but plays the way she's interested in playing, and continues to play with her day in and day out, regardless if he's stuck being a kitty or not, just melts my heart. And Bradley, the same thing. He is her very best friend. He's always there for her, and inserting himself in the game as a dog means he gets to play with her as well, and he finds a way into the game every day as well, engaging her in the game. Almost every day, without fail, these two boys play with Journey. They engage her, they keep her in the here and now, so she doesn't get lost in her own little world, wandering freely, lost. I remember those days. Pre-K, kindergarten, first grade...I was just grateful that no one picked on her, or teased her. They basically left her to her own devices during those years. These two boys though, they keep her in the present. They make sure she's paying attention, and she has some true friends. I am eternally grateful for them. Another amazing thing that all her friends do is save her a seat at the lunch table. There are four friends that do this for her: Bradley, Sam, Grace, and Angel. If she can't sit by one, she can always sit by another. K told me that her son to this day, sits by himself at lunch, and also wanders freely around at recess. It's a common thing for kids on the spectrum. Most spectrum moms just hope and wish that their child isn't being picked on, and no one is being cruel to them. Journey is so very blessed that she's got even better than that, she has friends that play with her, save a seat for her, engage her, play the way she wants to play. My heart bursts with pride for my daughter. To know she has these true friends, that look out for her, that do whatever they can to make her smile, and feel included, and welcome...it literally brings tears to my eyes. Some autistic kids don't even have friends. Some don't even have sibling that understands them. Some spend their whole lives, lonely and alone, lost in their own world. It's especially hard for those that are trying to learn to communicate, but no one makes the effort to communicate with them. Journey has friends that want to communicate with her. She has friends that look out for her, and care about her. I want to so badly to give each of these kids a huge hug and a thank you. They have made all the difference in Journey's world. Journey may not be as social as a neuro-typical child is, but her friends make her one of the most social kids on the spectrum that I've ever met. I'm so incredibly touched and grateful for them. I hope she always has these friends. |
| Today at the Brownie meeting, we discussed Journey's autism again, for those that weren't there last year when we discussed it. Journey took a more active role in the communication about it, which I was grateful for. I feel like telling her story without her talking about it as well is kind of a blasphemy. It's important that she puts her words in on it as well. The girls asked if Journey's lack of eye contact was the reason why she wore glasses. We informed them it was not. "She needs her glasses because she has an astigmatism, so her eyes can't see as well as if they were without glasses," I told them. One of the girls then asked her to take off her glasses, and asked her what she saw (a common thing for kids to ask one another, I know when I got glasses at 6, all my friends were curious to see how well I saw without them as well as with them.); before Journey could answer her though, someone gushed and said "Oh my gosh Journey, you're so beautiful without your glasses!" In the heat of the moment, I fumbled. I wish I could say that I told them "Yes, and she's beautiful with the glasses as well!", but I didn't. Before I could bring myself to say something, nurse Phillip walked in and did his presentation on school safety for the girls to learn and earn their Brownie Safety Award. In that moment, I failed. So, I'm the one that was supposed to put Journey to bed tonight. She was very excited, and ran up to the bathroom to wait for me to come help her brush her teeth and floss her. We brushed and flossed happily, and returned to her room, where I laid all her blankets on top of her. She was just about to ask to play Hello Kitty Cafe, when I told her "You know what I didn't say at the Brownie meeting?" "What?" She pondered. I snuggled her close, and looked at her. She gave me a look, straight into my eyes. Every day, I'm so grateful that we work on that. I love it when she looks directly at me! Makes me feel special! I looked back at her and said "I forgot to tell the girls today that you're beautiful with your glasses on too." "You think so?" She asked. "Of course," I answered. "Journey, you're getting to that age...that age now where girls and boys tell you what they think about your looks. Some will say you look better without glasses, some will say you need braces, some will say you're too short. Some will say you're too skinny, some will say you're too tall, they'll all have something different to say... ...But you know what? Don't listen to them. That's what THEY think, not what YOU think. You know what I think? I think you're a beautiful person, inside AND out. I think you're beautiful, wonderful, smart, sweet, caring, funny, loving, creative...you're a fantastic person Journey. You are the very best Journey you can be. You are perfect the way you are, no matter what anyone says." My eyes filled with tears when I looked at her. Her eyes were full of tears too. "You really think so Mama?" She whispered. "I know so," I told her and kissed her head. "Thank you so much!" She cried, and wrapped her arms around me. "Don't listen to them, okay? You do what makes you happy. What you're comfortable with, how you want to look. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, all that matters is that you like it," I told her. Now, I don't blame those girls in any way. It's ingrained in kids for them to comment on what's beautiful and what's not. Everyone's idea of beauty is different though, which is what most people don't seem to understand. To them, the comment was merely something like "Your dress is pretty". Being 8 years old, they didn't see how their comment could be construed differently. Body image is a full awareness nowadays, with girls as young as 4 commenting on what beauty is supposed to be. Every little girl wants to look like a Disney Princess, with those long limbs, tiny waist, delicate hands and feet. They are brainwashed by media every day, that thin is pretty, and long hair is pretty, and blonde is prettier, and a perfect smile is pretty, and oh, they just want to be pretty so bad!! But what about those girls who are tall? Aren't they pretty? And what about those girls who are short? Aren't they pretty too? What about brown haired girls, or girls with green eyes? What about those with glasses? And those with braces? Aren't they all beautiful as well? Now, I totally dropped the ball on the "World of Girls" Journey. It would've been the perfect time to talk about girls, and pretty, body image, and awareness. I missed that boat. But I think, after I'm done with the safety things we're learning, that we sit around and talk about this. So my girls can see, it doesn't matter what anyone says, you are a beautiful person, both inside, and out. What makes you beautiful is you. You don't have to be exactly this height, or this weight, or look like this, have hair like that, to be beautiful. It's all inside you. It's all outside you. And in the end, all that matters is that you KNOW you are! It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it doesn't matter what anyone else says. All that matters is that you know that you are a beautiful person. I will continue to tell my daughter, every day, that she is beautiful the way she is. And that also, she is smart, strong, capable, caring, and wonderful. She is perfect the way she is. She's everything I could've ever asked for. |
| You know, I look back at my original blog, and I can't help but see all the signs Journey showed us before she was diagnosed with anything, whether that be the original global developmental delay that she was diagnosed with, or the ADHD sub-attentive type she was diagnosed with, or her autistic diagnosis. I can't help but see all the stages of grief and acceptance I went through as well. I've searched and searched that blog, and nowhere in there is the one entry that said it all. It was a culmination of entries, it was my entire blog, as is this one, that bears the tale. Each time she showed us a sign, I worried more and more that it didn't fit what a "typical" child did, when she was first showing signs. I tried not to base her off Ryan, because Ryan was so advanced for his age. "What if she's just being typical?" I thought. "What do typical kids do?" I really had no one to base her behavior off of. When things would strike me as odd, I would bring them up to her original pediatrician, who did nothing more than assure me I was overreacting. That nagging feeling never left me though. Finally, when I realized she wasn't making eye contact and wasn't responding to us, I had had enough of his assurances. I KNEW something was wrong. I knew it that whole time, and I felt insulted that he wouldn't even listen to me. That's why we quit going to him. Don likes to tell people it's because of the horrendous 2 hour wait times that they had, but the truth of the matter is, he wasn't listening to me, and I had enough of it. I can't remember, but I think Journey was around either 3 or 4 when we took her to her new pediatrician, whom she fell in love with. When it was her well check up for around her birthday, they gave me the same "milestone chart" that ALL pediatricians give, and I just knew in my heart where she was. The nurse watched as we tried to get her to move blocks around, which was behind, which was on top, which was in front of. Nothing doing. She watched as she painfully tried to draw a circle. She watched as she could not draw a cross. No skipping. Hopping on one foot was impossible. We circled so many "no"s. When her pediatrician added it up, it showed that she was developmentally behind by over a year and a half. What's funny though, is that her original pediatrician had the same milestone chart, and I filled it out the same way as I did when we were with the new pediatrician, and yet the old pediatrician never said anything. The new pediatrician, Dr. D, knew something was up right away. I presented him with a list of quirks Journey had...a list I had been compiling for over a year, from the time when I realized that something wasn't quite right. He immediately suggested going to a developmental pediatrician. I won't lie, I was scared. "He sees it too," I thought to myself. We called around to find one that would take our insurance, and were put on the wait list to get an appointment. I didn't really talk to anyone about my worries. I mean, I wrote the things she did down here in the blog, but I didn't make it widely known to my family and friends. (Funny, this blog is public. If they had the link or the inclination, they could've read all about it.) There was a time though, when I was talking to my friend about how picky Journey is when she eats, and how the only fruit she would eat was a banana, that my friend asked if she was autistic. "What?!" I thought. "How could you get that out of just only eating bananas?" I shrugged it off, but when another one of my friends asked me the same thing, and then asked me to see the list of quirks, she gave me the same response. "No no no no no," I thought. "This isn't what I want to hear. She's fine. She's a little delayed, but she's fine." And then we had that Child Find meeting. "Just her speech is delayed," assured the lady. At first, I was relieved. Speech delay, that's not so bad. But then, when we held the IEP meeting when she was 3, and they told us that they didn't see any reason to put anything in place, I was torn. Part of me was saying "See? All this worry for nothing. She's going to be just fine. She's only a little delayed. She'll straighten out in school." The other part of me said "No, this is wrong. There's something more. Something more they're not looking at, or testing for. I KNOW something is wrong." I left that IEP meeting feeling confused, torn, and without justice. I didn't know what my rights were as a parent. I didn't even have some diagnosis on her yet, to tell them that she needed the help. Part of me wanted so badly to believe that she was normal, and that she was going to be okay. I will tell you now, I owe every success of Journey's elementary school career to her Pre-K teacher and her original special ed teacher. When she first started school, not potty trained, barely talking, not making eye contact, wandering around freely, I was torn. "Please, please let school straighten her out," I prayed. "Please let her grow out of this, and be pulled into the light." But she wasn't. I grieved. "Why can't my child be okay? Why can't she just be normal? Why can't she be fixed? Why does this have to be so hard?" I cried. Like a selfish, horrible person, I cried. I didn't want her to be different. I wanted her to be the same as everyone else. Her teacher KNEW though, just watching her day in and day out, that something was off, something was wrong. Once again, we were brought in for an IEP meeting, this time called by her Pre-K teacher, and I cannot tell you how much relief and vindication flowed through me as everything we ever saw as a quirk of hers was listed by her teacher. I felt so much relief, because finally, someone other than myself or Don saw what was going on, and KNEW she needed the help. She was determined to help her, and to this very day, I'm so eternally grateful for that woman and everything she did to help Journey when Journey first made it into school. They did evaluations on her, and found that she was developmentally delayed. Her special ed teacher...I love that woman dearly. What Mrs. R and what Mrs. G did for Journey in her first year of school, I will forever be grateful for. They started her special ed help right away after evaluations, and started up an IEP for her right away, before we even went to the developmental pediatrician. When we made it to the developmental pediatrician, he decided to try and do a test on her right away and said she was not autistic. Later, I was told by people that the test her gave her was actually a test that's meant for parents and therapists to give. People who know your child and work with them are supposed to fill out the test and let it be decided. He didn't do that. He readily diagnosed her with a developmental delay, stating that she would grow out of it, and suggesting a myriad of therapies for her. To be honest, the only thing I'm grateful for with him is his prescriptions for her occupational therapy and speech therapy. Otherwise, I feel like I wasted my time with him. He saw her in her rawest form, and still refused to give me an answer other than the blanket "developmental delay" and the assurance that she would grow out of it. Journey continued on with her IEP. Kindergarten came. They decided to test her for speech again, which she didn't originally qualify for. It broke my heart when a little girl told me "She's going to testing? I'm so glad I don't need that. I'm too smart for testing, I already know everything I need to know." "Is this what it's going to be like?" I thought. "Little kids thinking worse of her because she has to get services?" I chalked it up to the little girl not understanding what the testing was for, and let it be. Sure, there might be people who look down on her for her differences, but they don't matter. What matters is that Journey is comfortable receiving her services, and that they help her. Her special ed teacher fought for us, making sure she got every service she needed. She taught me to fight for every service Journey needs. When I went into IEP meetings, I felt empowered, being there with her special ed teacher and her teacher. They saw what I saw, they were going to help her and work with her to make things good for her, for her to succeed. I decided to go a different avenue, and take her for testing at Kennedy Krieger. Sadly, all Kennedy Krieger did was read her original developmental pediatrician's notes, and decided not to test her for autism either. They instead tested her for ADHD, and found that she has ADHD sub-attentive type. They suggested medication, which we held off on till last year, and also to put her in a sport (to which we followed up with gymnastics when we have the money). Though I was grateful for the diagnosis and suggestions, I was also very disappointed. I wanted them to look at her in a different light than the one her original developmental pediatrician saw her in, and start fresh. They didn't do that for me though. I started to decide to pull my efforts from feeling bad for Journey, wishing it was easier for her, wishing she was normal, to getting her the help and therapies she needed to be successful. I still had questions, and I'm ever so grateful for K. She helped me with so many suggestions and ideas. I tried to study up on what she was diagnosed with so far, and what services we could get to help her. I scoured for occupational therapists, and attempted to save enough money to sign her up for gymnastics. We lucked out that her speech pathologist from school was the same one she would see in the summer. We got her into social skills group with her school guidance counselor. I will not lie to you. We were extremely lucky. Everything we found, the speech therapy, the occupational therapy, the gymnastics, the social skills groups, we all found with not too much effort. I took suggestions, and scoured our insurance's website, looking for the providers we needed. The hardest search was for her occupational therapist. I tried everywhere, but they either didn't take our insurance, didn't take kids, or weren't taking new patients. I remember grabbing a pamphlet from our urgent care when i had an ear infection, and reading that there were child therapists within the hospital. I called them after trying everywhere else, and miraculously, they saw kids, took our insurance, and had appointments immediately. We started right after that call. We also were very lucky that not only did we keep the services that she was given originally, but also added on services for her. Only until she was tested did we take any services from her that weren't necessary. Finally, last year, when her IEP for "developmental delay" was up, they tested her again, to see if she still needed an IEP (which, I knew she did, but I was praying that they wouldn't take it off her, and was speaking with IEP advocates just in case they tried to take it off her), and what better fit her, the autism specialist came, listened to everything we all had to say, and promptly diagnosed her with autism. I was shocked and amazed that she did it, but I was also very grateful. It made sense. All the things that didn't fit in the "global developmental delay" diagnosis, everything that didn't fit in the ADHD diagnosis, it made sense in the autism diagnosis. We are very blessed. Though some things took time, and some things were hard to get to, it all has worked out very well for us. Journey's doing fantastically, and I couldn't be happier for her. We just want to do the best we can for her, we want to make it possible for her to succeed and do whatever she can and wants to do. Everything Journey has gotten has been because the people that love her fight for it. Her school has done amazing things for her. I'm eternally grateful for everything they've done for her, and I want to shout it from the rooftops. I've read horror stories, of insurance companies not covering therapies, and schools taking services away. I'm so grateful that things are going so well for her. I will continue to fight for her, to get her what she needs, and to help her navigate this crazy world and be as successful as she possibly can be. |
| Interesting day so far. Started off having to walk Journey to school in the drizzling rain because the bus was going to be 30-40 minutes late picking the kids up. There was a huge accident close to the middle school (luckily, Ryan was driven to school today, on time, before the accident happened), and the buses had no way to drop off the students at the middle school in order to pick up the elementary students on time. The accident shut down two main roads, it was terrible. As soon as I heard about it, I decided to walk Journey to school. We made it fine, she was on time, and I'm very grateful that we only live two blocks from the elementary school, so even if the weather wasn't ideal, at least we're able to walk. Fun times, making sure Ryan has his homework in his agenda and in his knapsack for the next day. He's dropped to almost a D now with missing assignments. I refuse to let this happen anymore. If he needs babysitting, I'm just going to have to babysit him. If this means I have to check what his homework is every night, sit there while he does it, make sure he shows all work, everything is complete, put in his agenda for the next day, and placed in his knapsack for the next day, then I will do it. If I don't, he'll end up failing this class. I'm not pleased that I have to do this for him. He's 11, he should be making strides for independence, accountability and responsibility, but unfortunately, that's now how this is going so far. I didn't have to do this for him last year in 5th grade, so I wonder what's up. And he's only having trouble in his math class, no other classes. Every other class, he's got either an A or a B in. I don't know what the deal is, but I'm going to help babysit him until he's confident enough to do this on his own. Hopefully this becomes less intimidating for him, and he can take up looking after himself soon. Anyway, back to Journey. We hit a small homework snafu with her today. I wrote her teacher to let her know that Journey would be riding the school bus home today, and also asked that she remind Journey to bring home her spelling journal, as for the last two days she has forgotten to bring it home. Journey brought it home today, so we started to catch up on homework. Poor little thing, she tried to soldier on through three assignments, but she just couldn't take it. By the time we hit "write your spelling words in alphabetical order", she had a meltdown. I haven't seen one of these since the start of 2nd grade, it's been almost a year now that she's had one. She just lost it. I hugged her for awhile and let her cry, trying to find out what was wrong. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be saying "'I don't know' is not an answer" until I die. We worked it out though, she finally told me that she wasn't comfortable doing her homework. I explained that homework was important to helping her at school. "Spelling homework helps you learn your spelling words, so when you take the spelling test, you know how to spell them," I explained. I made her look me in the eyes and repeat it back to me. It took a few tries, but we finally got there in the end. I gave her another hug, told her to go get her water bottle, drink some water, get a snack, and I would set the timer for 20 minutes. I'd give her a 20 minute break, and when the 20 minutes were up, we'd go back to homework again. Currently, she is working on her alphabetical order spelling homework with renewed intent. I'm very grateful my methods work. I dunno what I'm going to do when they don't. Probably contact K, see if she has any ideas. Speaking of Journey's special needs, we're going to need to hold a discussion with the girls of the Brownie troop to remind them once more of Journey's capabilities and tolerances. She was in tears last meeting because some of the girls got their new recorders for music class, and began to play them as loudly as they possibly could. I asked them sternly to put them away, and let them know that I didn't want to see them again the rest of the meeting, but I think I need to explain what it does to Journey when she hears loud sounds so they know the reason behind my request. This time, I asked Journey if it was okay that I talked to the girls about her needs, and asked if she would help me talk with them. She agreed it was a good idea, and that she would. Next meeting, we'll start out with that. I don't want the girls to feel that they're limited, but I do need them to understand what's going on with Journey so they realize that they need to help her feel at home in the troop as well. She's pretty accommodating, up to a point. Loud noises are a big no-no with her though. I got a draft of Journey's new IEP for this year. I have to say, I'm very pleased with it. There are some great tools she's allowed to utilize, and the special ed teacher and instructional assistant are going to be of great aid for her. The goals are great, I'd say she's going to make great progress with them. They're extremely tailored to her needs, and I'm extremely appreciative of that. It's the God's honest truth when they say LES is the best place for my child. It really is. She gets amazing services, and an IEP that's specific towards her needs and goals to achieve...I'm just really grateful for it all. I know a lot of kids that don't get this type of treatment in their schools. I know parents that have to fight to get services for their kids. We are so extremely lucky that our road has been so well supported, between the school and our insurance helping to pay for her therapies. It took a little while to put it all together, but I think we've given her the best possible tools to help her so far. I hope the trend continues. Don won't be available for her IEP meeting on the 2nd, but I will be going that day to discuss this new draft of the IEP, and like I said, I see nothing but wonderful things in it. They've even addressed her need for academic goals with reading comprehension, which is something she was struggling with since last year. Our special ed services team is phenomenal in that school, it really is. I'm going to be heartbroken when she graduates elementary school; I don't know if we'll ever be able to get as good of services again as we've gotten so far. I hope we will though. I really do hope. |
| Jenn did a wonderful thing, and purchased a string of lights (similar to Christmas tree lights) for Journey. They were under $2, but when I put them up for Journey, they might as well have been worth $100. They light her room just so, with a calm, low ambiance. It's much brighter than her night light, but also, not as bright as her regular light, but bright enough that it will help her sleep easier. I've asked her to unplug them before she falls asleep (I don't even leave the Christmas tree lit overnight, as I'm afraid the plug will short out and start a fire...but that's worrywart me), and she's promised me she would do so, but she's so excited to have them. I'm glad it could give her some more light for her evening, and hopefully she feels less small, alone and afraid with them. 11 days until her IEP meeting. I'll be the only parent there, as Don doesn't have the time to get off work and come to it. I'm fairly certain I know what I need to ask for, I'm just frightened of being told no. Not that they've ever told me no before, but you never know. My anxiety seems to be a little unbalanced lately, and whereas I'm not full out and out panicking, I'm finding that I'm having racing thoughts and lots of "what if"s. I hope this clears soon. We'll see what can be done about certain situations. Tomorrow starts Journey's Fall Product sale. I'm sending out the emails tomorrow morning, and sending the packet to work with Don tomorrow morning. We'll see what goes on with it. The three day weekend was nice. We didn't get to go to the fair, but we got things done. I'm hoping next Friday we can call the manager of the cat shelter and ask if we can visit her and the kittens. We'll see what else we can get going on. I had something else to write about, and I was going to write it last night, but I decided to wait for today. Now, I can't remember what it was I was going to write about. If I think of it, I'll come back and write about it. Till then.... |
| Fall is coming, I can feel it. I'm so excited to have 77 degree days, it's just ridiculous. To be totally honest with you, I'm grateful for the days that I can wear jeans and not have to worry about shaving my legs. Summer can be a real bitch. That, and I'm grateful for days that I don't sweat through anything, like shirts, and other such nonsense. Hallelujah fall! Interims are coming up quickly. End of interim is on the 23rd, when the kids have a half day, and Ryan's math grade is going to be a big, fat C. A terrible, horrible, awful C. He's bombed three quizzes, forgot to turn in his homework twice, and only got partial points on 3 assignments. That all equals out to that horrific C that's going to be on his interim report. I'm horrified. I told him I'm giving him until October 3rd to attempt to get his grade back up to a B, or he's grounded from electronics until I see fit. He was doing good, not forgetting homework, so I gave his things back to him, but now this travesty is going on, and I'm about to take them away again. Not very pleased with him right now. Journey on the other hand, I am pleased about. She's gotten C's on a few things, but mostly she churns out A and B work, which leads to her grades being one A and 4 B's. She's doing the best she can, and I'm very proud of her. Hopefully, this continues on during the year. I know right now is mostly review, so maybe she's having an easier time because of it, and I'm certain the real test will come in the middle of the school year, but we shall get there when we get there, and if anything needs to be tailored to help her, we'll discuss it with her teacher and her special ed teacher at that time. Speaking of talking with her teacher and special ed teacher, we got a notice for an IEP meeting coming up on October 2nd. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's her yearly review that we're going to talk about. I'm interested in asking about getting her academic goals put back on her IEP, and also doing her daily chart again. I'll discuss it with them. They may decide that since she's got A's and B's, there's no need to do an academic section for her IEP (although I'm going to be quick to call a meeting if she's struggling again in the middle of the year) right now, and her goal/points chart, they may feel that it's not necessary to do her daily chart anymore. The only reason I'm bringing up her daily chart is because for the last couple of days, I've had to email her teacher about certain things that she comes home with, or doesn't give me full information about. If there were a way that her special ed teacher or teacher could write a note or something saying "this is what's coming home, this is what she needs to do with it, this is the date it needs to be in", I would greatly appreciate it. I know it's a lot of work and stress on the teachers, but it helps me and it helps her too. I don't want her to be a burden, I just want to make it so she doesn't miss out on something or neglect to do a project correctly. Got to spend a day with my bestie Jenn today. It was so much fun being with her. It's a real bummer that we're over an hour away from each other, but it makes the times that we spend with each other even more special. We're probably going to her daughter's 6th birthday party in October, as well as she's coming for lunch one day that month, and we're going trick or treating with her and her kids on Halloween! We'll get to see each other 3 times next month! Honestly, I'm so glad Halloween's on a Friday this year. Now the kids can go out and get candy, and we can come back and eat dinner whenever, because it's the weekend, and it doesn't matter what time we eat or go to bed. I think Halloween should be one of those roving holidays, the way that Thanksgiving is. Thanksgiving is always the 4th Thursday of November. Why can't Halloween be on the last Friday of October all the time? Regardless of what number day it is, they should just always have it on the last Friday of October. Just to make it easier. Trying to trick or treat and then get kids fed and ready for bed for school the next day is a proverbial bitch. I don't much appreciate it, and I don't really know anyone that does. Anywho... That's it for my update on the haps here in my neck of the woods. Hopefully everyone else is doing good. |
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