The culture is similar and different, kinda like being out-of-focus. Not bad when I visit. But... when I spend a lot of time here, I remember that disaster of a year when I was young ...and stupid. I'm older (much older) now; but, it still catches me unawares at times. When I interact with folks I feel like I'm on quicksand.

It isn't just language or manners or customs. It like revisiting dreams and nightmares. I have to be careful to be "present". It would be easier to live elsewhere. Still, it's like home ...a place I've been and know, a place that will forever be a part of me.

me:

Second day of not leaving my 'nest'. Although this isn't good, I'm okay. I don't owe anyone ...anything.

Nice chat with Chris by Skype. She's in Texas planning to visit Costa Rica with the thought of moving here. Lots of plans. Lots of thoughts. Bad connection with a friend in Kansas. Still no answer in Montana yesterday. Some day...

I still feel isolated. Should've gone to the futbol game today. We won 3-1 and are in first place.

Could've gone out last night. But, I know too much about this place. "I can dance with you honey ...does your mother know you are out." Abba. Watching Mama Mia. Yeah... I know too much about this place and I'm feeling my age even if there are others who would like me to forget it.

Following that theme, the bitch next door has created a ruckus with every dog in the neighborhood. One was quite "stuck" with her today. Literally. Hopefully this is over and we can have puppies mid-April.

These thoughts are dangerous. At my age one has regrets. The movie isn't helping one bit.

I did eat my olla de carne. It's quite good even though every time I make it it's different. Cutting up all the vegetables is the biggest mess. This time I added ribs. And for dinner? An omelet with tomato and sweet pepper.

Ah ...the exciting life of someone who isn't quite sure where the hell he is.

...almost.

ME:

I did not go to a meeting Friday. Instead I walked uphill and down a road I hadn't been on. Found a nice aparthotel for $1.000 per month (really nice) run by Sandra from Köln. It would be a great place for some of my friends who have the means and don't want to rough it.

Today I didn't leave my place.

Did catch a beautiful sunset , a few drops of rain and a rainbow.

I cooked. I watched some television. I managed to speak with a friend in Montana. (Egads ...someone answered their freaking phone!)

I did get an email from somone who misses me.

Which makes up for a whole lot of nothing.

Norway.

Eg ser...

Noen gonger eg berre vil gå andre steder. Eg skrev i dag:

ein lille båt
ein stille båt
den minste båten
i hamn.

ein stor stemme
ein høy stemme
den sterke stemmen
i klassen.

Nice to know the mind took a trip. The body is sweltering in this heat. It would like to follow to some place cooler.

Nothing done. Nothing. Soon I'll leave ...I promise. But I may as well wait till after 2 pm.

I missed a chance to talk with Sarah in Zimbabwe. Hopefully her birthday went well. It's probably hot there this summer.

Hoping there's some snow left when I get back to Montana. It's in the forecast for today.

Scattered thoughts. I got to talk to Myrt last night in Missoula but the connection was lousy. Talked to my mom this week as well. If I am going to do nothing it would best behoove me to make connections with family and friends. Better that than watching television. I keep forgetting about timezones though and my phone that has my numbers stored in it isn't working. Slowly...

I did write a response to an article on-line and posted it to facebook. The problem is my lack of expertise in the field of history. Still, I suspect many academics look at the world though a microscope (which is fine) when what is sometimes needed is stepping back to see the whole picture. Liberal Arts ...as in interdiscipline critical thinking... does not seem to be in vogue. Ah... but critical thinking is suspect in our culture so that should be no surprise.

I wish I had background in systems ...as in biological, geological, astrological, anthropological ...systems. The concepts of cycles and spirals and the theme of connections.

Still wouldn't get me on a plane to Norway though.

..and around.

ME:

Life justs keeps going around and I'm sure it will continue long after I'm gone.

Went to market. Bought vegetables, fruit and ribs.

That was my day.

Also ate picadillo de arrache y mosote for the first time. I'm not sure how that translates. I liked both.

At least it was an okay day physically, mentally and emotionally.

This morning I made rice with chopped up tomato, potato, sweet pepper, cabbage, lettuce, onion ...a bit of honey and mandarin juice. Not bad.

Was it enough to have gotten up, done the wash, left the apartment? It has to suffice.

...worn out.

Me:

I get tired and overwhelmed if I do too much. If I only relax, I get bored. I know there is a balance between these two but I seem to keep sliding back and forth. Imagine me on a teeter-totter:

sitting in the middle,

just trying to hold on.

Because I napped yesterday after not feeling well, I stayed up late last night and that meant I got up late today. At least I feel better.

Three weeks left here. I need to take advantage of what little time is left. I've done little traveling. Possibilities on my list: Orosi, La Cruz, Sablito. They are three totally different directions. None are close. Plus, I haven't done the day trips like I promised myself. but those are easier to wedge in: Palmar, Volcán, Uvita, Buenos Aires, San Bosco, El Aguila, General Viejo.

Thursday markets are a blast. Last week music and dancing. I visit the same people every time and they are getting to know me. In this sense I'm doing well. I've known how to meet new people for many years. Living in small town Nebraska and Kansas when I was young taught me a lesson or two.

Friday writing group has been difficult, but writing groups frequently are and I'm not-so-good in groups as my first experience in Costa Rica decades ago amply proved. I block out school from 6th till 11th grade. I have no clue what my role is

When I get back to Montana I'll have some decisions to make. Money-wise, I've done well. I can keep monthly costs in Montana under $700 if I choose. Here, I can get below $600. Combined they add up to $1.000 more-or-less (rent + rent + food + incidentals). Add in three round trip fares a year and that makes it $1.200 per month. Airfare isn't cheap.

Of course, I could always move to a nicer place in Missoula and get a car...

...and I could kiss my traveling days good-bye!

...dragonfly.

ME:

At home. Doing nothing. Watching television and U.S. election results. Hoping it cools off tonight. Today was steamy, especially in the late morning.

I didn't feel well by 1 pm and decided to take the bus most of the way home (36¢) rather than walk. I just was feeling weak. Took a three hour nap. Had a temp. I get woozy...

While waiting for Zohar at the bank I saw dragonflies. No sense in trying to capture them on my camera. I wasn't that near and moving objects are miserable, especially on zoom. Then got him off to the beach in Dominical.

And going back in time... Yes, Zohar got here. He was my first couch-surfer guest and a very congenial one. I had him sleep on a mattress that Mari loaned me. Got him up by 7 something after a late night.

Midnight is late for me. Johnny stopped by late and when Mari got home even later we-four sat and talked. Johnny is the youngest but has his own business and has visited Germany, France, Italy, Dominican Republic and Peru. Mari went to school to become a doctor in Cuba. Zohar grew up in Ukraine and then in Israel before moving to Toronto, Canada. All three are in their twenties. All three know what it is like to move outside one's comfort zone. Awesome people.

The meal. Fried four types of fish: vela, corvina, bolillo, marlin rosado. Cut up vegetables and fruits. Heated up the "stew" (the olla de carne sin carne). Zohar took photos ...bless him. It all looked wonderful and was well received. Me? I wasn't hungry.

Earlier still: I picked Zohar up at the busstop as he got off. He was tired after walking 25 km up to Chirripó (the highest point in Costa Rica) and down. He was sore. But... he was willing to stay up and meet my friends. He's a very good traveler and hosts numerous people in Toronto.

I had spent the day shopping. The fish, some other food, 2 mugs, 4 spoons, 4 forks. Had to be prepared for guests.

In summary: I used to have parties. I used to have house guests. I did this for over 20 years. I haven't since 2003. To cook. To have a place that someone can visit me. My own place. My own life...

It was a day of dragonflies. Haven't seen them in a long time.

vegetables.

         ME:

I cooked up a pot of: onions, carrots, garlic, spices, camote, ayote, chayote, potatoes, sweet pepper, tiquisque.

Nice flavor. Could use a bit of meat...

Then again I bought a frying pan yesterday. So ...cheese omelet! I got an Ecko 30 cm orange pan. Looks a lot like the one Harry Potter used in HP#1 when he was serving breakfast at the beginning of the film. Hmmmmm...

Didn't leave the apartment.

It sprinkled yestereve at the vesper hour, 6 pm. Rained a little today too. Yesterday was hot and steamy. Today just a little less.

Me? surviving the heat and wishing I were elsewhere. Orosi would do.

Not leaving town tomorrow either. My couchsurfer canceled for Friday, but will be my guest Monday night. I'll be prepared.

In other news ...Marlene called! That makes two calls today.

Now back to doing nothing.

with small d's.

me:

Life isn't a straight line. The ups and downs and the incessent curves and blind spots (not to mention the holes in the road) make it exciting. Like the Chinese curse, "may you live in interesting times".

Better than living a boring lie ...I suppose.

Lies and truth?

I was looking forward to Zohar's visit. He might still come this way but being here tonight might not work out and that upsets my schedule a bit.

And apparently I fried my cellphone, my American one that allows me to post photos to facebook. I cannot complain too much. It's been good to me and I've been more fortunate with electronics than most. It has over 11,000 photos in it. But over 8,000 are stored somewhere (but the most recent... alas).

At least the wash is up and hanging and drying.

Got up around 7:30 which is late for me but I'm accomplishing a few things. Yesterday I accomplished a few things too. As long as I don't get overwhelmed or depressed I'm fine.

Bought a bag full of fruit and vegetables at farmer's market yesterday. When you get to know folks here they will sometimes throw in something extra. It's their way of saying thank-you I guess.

In other snews ...

Nah...

ME:

Last couple days have been tiring. Travel from PZ to Alajuela took almost 5 hours; SJ to PZ is 3 hours back. Nearly fell asleep on the bus.

It was worth going to Alajuela to see their Fabrica de Poesia (Poetry Factory). Writing poems for anyone who requests one is not easy. I ended up writing one for Ani Brenes, one of the poets; gave it to her. Need to edit and give her a better version.

Stayed at the El Tranquilo hostel in San Jose. Good to hug Argentina, pet Isis, talk to a group of travelers from Colombia, Germany, France, Utah, British Columbia, Brasil...

Had a good day today too until I walked home... Then the electricity was off... but not for long.

Anyhoo, can't think straight and need to go to bed.

Welcome to the crowd!

ME:

I didn't leave my place yesterday and still haven't today. But I will!

Ate a lunch of sliced potatos, diced papaya, ground beef mixed with chopped garlic and sweet red pepper ...and a bit of sunflower oil. Wasn't worth a picture but it did taste good.

Found a place at facebook that has pictures of Costa Rican food. I should submit some of mine!

In other earth-shattering news: My verdolaga (Portulaca oleracea) has 22 blooms today (9 yellow; I now have three plants).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portulaca_oleracea

Quiet: except for the loud church and that wasn't too bad this morning. Clear: as no chance of rain and we are getting dusty. Warm: as always.

I have someone coming to visit on Friday. Clear and dry will work well with his plans. However, he will have to prepare for the cold as he intends to climb Chirripó. At over 3.800 m it ain't warm.

Movie: (How to train your dragon) "Cómo entrenar un dragón" was quite enjoyable.

http://www.dreamworksdragons.com/

A youth called Hiccough? All types of dragons. A big-bad-dragon... Hiccough's friendly dragon is awesome! At the end they all live happily-eve-after. Gives the concept of dragon-riders a whole new meaning.