One man's journey to find the way home |
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
Could I be healing? I go to work and something feels better and it makes absolutely no sense. I walk in and for whatever reason I know what to do and even the wrong I do is not crippling and in some respects is even liberating. Some thoughts: 1. I am with a population that I can relate to. I never feel too stupid. I realize that others live with labels that I have tried to endure. 2. I can say what I feel and see what happens. I for example comment on how the painnters make the house into chaos and there is a quip that the painter has the same name Gary as myself. 3. My sweater is inside out and I feel foolish. The manager makes light of it as being a new style. I laugh at myself. Putting it on wrong is not end. 4. Life is journey. I like the idea of taking these guys to another place. It reflects my own definition of life. 5. I laugh when I consider I have no talent for a talent show. Yet I can work overnight. I am reminded of my singing talent by my manager. 6. Dinner is cooking as I arrive. I am not overwhelmed by the task. I do what I can. I am creative. |