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 |  Re-dedicated - April 1, 2021, Brother Nature's views from the Winnipeg River SE Manitoba |
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My Writing.com experience continues...30 Day Blog Challenger, Andre the blog Monkey's Banana Bar Founder, Aging Baby Boomer. Here you'll find a warm welcome, maybe I'll make you laugh out loud - That's my goal. Thanks for visiting. |
| January 10, 2018 [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] War Chest Wednesday! From a previous challenger... There comes a time when every life goes off-course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice? Dear previous challenger, "WTF?" Okay, Busted! Now I gotta tell you everything. When I first heard about these paths I was supposed to go down, my interest was peaked. I had to find where these paths were. They all seemed so much better than the path I was on. Here's what I learned: Everyone is on a path on their journey through life. The paths all move in different directions and intertwine with each other as the paths lead living souls through their life's journey from their birth to their death. There are some pretty sweet paths, and some paths suck balls. The more a path sucks the more there are of them, and the easier they are to find. The more I learned about the paths made me more and more curious to learn more, like...Why didn't my path connect with all those other paths? How did I even get on this path? I don't remember choosing! Surely I would have chosen a better path. I started to doubt that we actually had any ability to choose a path. I learned in church, we are indeed on paths as we journey through our lives, and we do get to choose the paths we travel on. But... God has a plan for you. I chose Catholic, because my mother had a priest pour some water on me in my infancy. Hey! Wait a minute! So we don't have choice? Or... We do have a choice but every option is already God's plan, so it really doesn't matter anyway. I just wanted to know, "Do we have a fucking choice or not?" If anybody knows the answer to this, then please tell me. Show your work! So what else? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? The entire fucking trip man! Doesn't matter what path you're on. Your path will meet up with other people, who will join your journey. Some will be there from beginning to end, some will journey with you for various lengths of time, and some will take their journey in other directions only to rejoin you at a future point in time. You just never know, but one thing you can be sure of is: Others will tell you who you are. Another thing you can be sure of is: There's always a few more things you can be sure of. Like...You'll have to label yourself. If you don't... I don't know what would happen. Nobody ever tried not labeling themselves. Even if you tried to not label yourself - That would be labeling yourself! You would be labelled 'un-labelled' Your path has brought you, thankfully, to the end. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada  |
| January 9, 2018 Talk Tuesday! In Sally 's entry yesterday ("Jan 8th Writing" ), her use of the term "writing kit" had me intrigued. Do you have a physical set of tools you rely on (certain pens/pencils, notebooks, etc.)? Different websites you rely on for particulars? Maybe even mood-setting accouterments like music or candles? What's your scene? I have a desk - it's cluttered to death - it's a corner desk, stolen from a church, but that's another story. There are three large boxes of scrapbooks under the desk. I couldn't roll a chair close enough to desk even if there was a free square inch of space on the desk top. I'm where-ever I can find a spot. I have plenty of distractions surrounding me. My space is littered with annoyances. Thursday through to Saturday of this week, I'll be writing my blog entries on my phone for the first time ever. Breaking my blackberry, it was once referred to. Booo ... hisss, That was lame. I'll be blogging from an empty house in Regina Saskatchewan. No inter-net, no TV. I'll have a black folding chair set up in front of a folding TV table, or I may be relaxing on an air mattress. I just might have to stand there. Thankfully, I'll still have the distractions and annoyances; I'm looking forward to it. That's all I got! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
| January 8, 2018 Motivational Monday! Musician David Bowie, born on this day in 1947, once said "All my big mistakes are when I try to second-guess or please an audience. My work is always stronger when I get very selfish about it." How true (or false) is this about your own writing? What's more important: pleasing yourself, or your audience? I've never been a huge Bowie fan, he's got a few songs I really like, and many more I don't appreciate as much. I'm pretty open minded when it comes to music though. I don't trash on people for liking musicians, or genres I don't care for, and there is no music that I would refuse to listen to or complain about hearing. Everybody has their own tastes in music, but I completely agree with what Mr. Bowie is saying here. When it comes to writing and pleasing myself, assuming we're talking about the same thing, well... even if we're not, I still have no audience to worry about pleasing. When I write, whether it's song lyrics, stories, poetry, or blog entries I always write from the heart, and assume that whoever reads it will enjoy it. That's why I'm able to guarantee my writing. If you don't like something I wrote, then you're free to keep your opinions to yourself. A thoughtful review, intended to improve your work is a whole different matter, of course. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
| January 7, 2017 The Sunday News! Ok, I know some of you don't like this day...and some of you don't care about sports. Sorry then that you're stuck with me *Laugh*...but hear me out, cuz we all want good news. Buffalonians have donated over 300k to Cincinnati charities this week , and sent a truck including 1,440 chicken wings to the area as a thank you. For a fanbase that's known primarily for drunken exploits before games and throwing themselves through flaming tables, what do you make of this example of sportsmanship? I've always been a sports fan. My favorite sport is hockey. I don't really have a favorite team. I do, however always cheer for the home team. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY, I'm a fan of the sport, at any level. I think I have come to terms with 'winning and losing.' At one time in my life winning meant a lot to me. I realized several years ago, that whether my team won or lost, didn't make one iota difference in my life. I think I figured that out when my home-town Winnipeg Blue Bombers won the Grey Cup in 1984. We partied like we were on the team. Drunk and frenzied we went to the airport to welcome the team home, there were about 7,000 fans there. The team made arrangements to de-plane on the tarmac and make a quick exit by bus, because the airport was jam packed with fans. The next day the team paraded through downtown Winnipeg, I stood on the side of the road clapping and cheering, like they saved my family from a burning building. The next day I realized... I won nothing. I had nothing. I didn't even have bragging rights, because nobody really gives a shit. Most of the other times my teams don't win the championship, they actually lose more often than they win, but...so what! I've learned to enjoy the game win or lose. Maybe I'm missing the point of the prompt here. Sports generate boat loads of money, a lot of that money goes to the players and owners, some of that money goes back to the community, and that's a great thing. They could do more - just saying. Sports fans also support a wide variety of charities, when they attend games and fund raising events. It's all good. I don't know what more I can say. Fivesixer   's disclaimer makes me nervous. Disclaimer: I am a lifelong Bills fan, a #BillsMafia supporter, and will likely start drinking by tomorrow's 1pm kickoff because I haven't cared about football in January in a whole long time. Most of us won't slam you into tables or light you on fire. But if you say so much as one bad word about sports or news or Buffalo in your entries, I will banish you to somewhere that sucks more than where you are, and probably wish a 17-year pox of some sort on you, your family, and the house you live in. Be a good friggin' sport! I'm still under a life time ban from the group, but a 17 year pox on me, my family, and my house, that could be serious. I didn't watch the game today, Norb. I watched the Jets and Sharks. I followed the NFL scores on the ticker. I was hoping the Bills could get you that win today, sorry they didn't. Something must have went terribly wrong, because 10 points won't win you many games in the NFL. I probably fucked it up, with that last sentence, sorry. 17 year pox - here I come. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
For my aMUSEment ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** By Joel A Spearman Forward By Andre the Blog Monkey FORWARD Of all the books you could have purchased, I'm at a loss to understand why you chose this one. Perhaps you found it in a dumpster, or picked it up on your way to your therapy session. Either way... too bad for you. Although the author is a close personal friend of mine, I never really liked him. I can't think of anyone less deserving of being commissioned to write a novel than Mr. Spearman. His writing skills are non existent. He doesn't have a creative bone in his body. If it wasn't for me providing 100 percent of the content his blog would be an empty coloring book. Perhaps you picked up this book, because you read Brother's Blog and enjoyed some of the entries - I wrote them! So yeah, he's a big shot now, with a publishing contract, then he has the nerve to ask me to write a forward and select a cover photo. Here's your stinking forward Mr. Writer, and here's your cover photo too. It's my rendition of your fate... Grand Marshal of Hell's Pride Parade. And don't get your panties all in a bunch folks... There's a Pride Parade in heaven too, it's just not the one Mr. Spearman is going to be at. Wait a minute! The liquor store just delivered my case of banana flavored vodka stipend. Maybe Joel's not such a bad guy after-all. Go ahead give the rest of the book a read, it might not be as crappy as I think it will be. If you made it this far, you probably don't have anything better to do anyhow. ENJOY! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
| January 5,2018 It's -30 degrees Celsius here in Sunset Bay this morning. Here's a little 'FUN FACT' for you: Did you know that at -40 degrees the Celsius and Fahrenheit scales of measurement become equal. Yet, at warmer temperatures there is nearly 20 degrees of separation between the two scales of measurment. The reason for this is simple. It's not a mathematical equation. It a simple statement, which points to that fact... If the temperature is -40, nothing fucken matters. Fun Fact Friday! So, I can't choose which "fun fact" to use today...but here's where I usually get them from: Pick one and tell us how it relates to you, how it makes you feel, how it punches you in the gut, or just stirs up whatever it is inside you that makes you wanna write something. The 30DBC commentariat has already been marching/dancing/grousing to full effect...shake your engaging tailfeathers and work with what I gave ya! 1961 - "Mr. Ed" debuted. The show would run for six years. I chose The Mr. Ed fact because the show debuted in the year of my birth - 1961. By the time I discovered television Mr. Ed was already in re-runs. Honestly, I only recall knowing about the show. The theme song is the only part of the show I recall somewhat enjoying. But the show must have had some sort of influence on me, because I recall times, back when I shared a bedroom with my three older brothers... We would lay awake in our beds and tell jokes and stories. I never knew any jokes and didn't have any stories to tell, but laughed at my brothers' offerings, sometimes to the point of angering dad so much that he would threaten to come in there with the belt if we didn't go to sleep. Anyhow, I wanted to contribute to the story and joke telling, and like I mentioned, Mr. Ed must have been an influence on me, because I would make up a story or re-tell a joke, and my story or joke would always involve a talking monkey. To me a talking monkey was about the funniest thing you could ever imagine. Back in the day we heard the same jokes over and over again, like the joke... Why did the boy throw the alarm clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly. So, My joke would become... Why did the monkey throw the alarm clock out the window? I never had an answer. I didn't need one. The imagery of a monkey throwing an alarm clock out the window was so funny to me, that I would laugh at the very thought, and my laughter would get my brothers laughing, which made me laugh even harder. Uncontrollable laughing would ensue. In comes dad with the belt - older brothers would take a few hits each - I never seemed to take any of the whacks, but my brothers sure did, by the sounds of it. Laughing would change to crying, then things would go silent. Laying there in the darkness, I would listen to my brothers quietly sob, then I would say, "Why did the monkey take a ladder to school?" Yep, good times! What does this have to do with Mr. Ed? Not much! Funny that my muse is a monkey, named Andre the Blog Monkey though. Here's a funnier fact: 1996 - Yahya Ayyash, a member of the Hamas in Israel, is killed by a booby-trapped cellular phone. This one was stolen right out of the Bugs Bunny play book, with out a doubt. Here's how I imagine the whole thing comes down. *cell phone rings* Hello Hello, Is this Yahya Ayyash? Yes, yes it is. Mr. Ayyash you have been selected to ummble muy gooble la nay shhh hiiss crackle Hello, hello. I can't hear you. Mr. Ayyash I'm calling to inform you that bruumdle max zimples ta da da fa duck Hello, hello ... I still can't hear you. Mr. Ayyash Try holding your phone closer to your ear. Okay. Are you holding your phone close to your ear? Yes, yes, I am holding it. Can you hear me now? Yes, yes, I can hear you. Good ... BANG! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
| January 4, 2018 Prompt: "If I ruled the world, I'd __________..." Fill in the blank with some whats and whys. If I ruled the world, I'd be totally unqualified, unfit, and unprepared to do the job. It used to be fun to imagine how great it would be if I had the power to change the world, but nowadays with a living example (#45) of what that would look like, it's not even funny. If I ruled the world I'd create a secret community of highly educated men and women, from many parts of the world. I'd have them form a multi-cultural village based on taking care of each other with love and compassion, where everyone is truly equal. They would preserve a vast habitat of all life forms, and create a sustainable way of living to provide a lasting, peaceful, and wholesome way of living on the planet. Then I would move the entire village and all it's holdings to the International Space Station. From the safety of the outer edge of space we'd destroy the remaining life and infrastructure on the entire planet. When earth returns to it's pure and pristine condition. The village would be returned to earth to begin an eternal blissful existence. People of the renewed planet would learn about my leadership which would be known as the Noah Principal. There would be one religion, and people would honor their Lord and Savoir, and would say in unison... wait for it... IN JOEL WE TRUST. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
| January 3, 2018 Day three and I'm in the weeds already. I will battle back, and see this challenge through to it's end. Instead of spending a couple hours on Writing.com yesterday, I spent the entire day in the town of Lac du Bonnet, Manitoba with Leslie, while my truck spent the day at the truck spa, getting a much needed renewal treatment. We walked everywhere we went, starting out at Chicken Chef for breakfast, then the second hand store, Leslie got her hair cut at the hair salon, then another second hand store, followed by a visit to the Library, then Casey's Pub, where we won nearly $1,200.00 playing the VLT's, which paid for the the work on the truck, lunch, supper at the Chinese restaurant, and the beer that Leslie drank in the two other pubs we visited, and a tank of gas for the truck. We got home with more money in our pockets than we had when we left in the morning. (How often does that happen?) Enough about me, let's get to this blog prompt. Prompt: What do you think are three things we're going to be hearing about a lot more as 2018 rolls on? Peace, Love, and Harmony will not be something we'll hear a lot about, as my blog title may have suggested. I can guarantee these three things will be front and center for not only 2018, but for a long time into future as well. 1. Trump. No need to say anything more on this point. 2. Mass killings of people world wide, through acts of war, terrorism, and domestic violence/shootings. 3. Environmental disasters of all kinds on all continents. (More damaging and more frequent than past disasters) It's not going to be pretty folks. Put it this way... If there's something you want to do with your life... better do it. Look at me, being the voice of doom and gloom. Have a nice day! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
| January 2, 2018 Day two and another resolution shot to shit, but hey, watching hockey and having a couple cocktails goes too good together to pass up. I was also hoping to develop a daily routine of blog writing in the morning followed by blog reading in the evening, but I had to make a trip into the city today to rescue my truck, which was frozen to death, after being left unplugged Christmas night parked in front of my sister's home. (If anyone is unfamiliar with living in a -40 degrees climate, then lucky you.) I'll get this blog prompt taken care of now, then later on, I'll come back and catch up reading and commenting on my fellow 30 Day Blog Challengers' blogs. On that note... Thank you very much for the outpouring of support of my first entry, it's very encouraging, and means a lot to me. Tell us what annoys you most about yourself. What annoys me most about myself is knowing how much I annoy the people closest to me. It's not something I mean to do, but more something I just do, as part of who I am. I guess you can say I have a bad attitude. Honestly, I have a very good attitude. I'm always positive, helpful, and compassionate. I almost always have a smile on my face, and I share in everything without prejudice. I do however, have a different idea of what is important in life, and what most people find important... I couldn't care less about. This is what really annoys people, and knowing this, annoys me. Most recent example: My sister asked me what I'm doing in a way of saving for my retirement. My answer was, nothing. My sister almost lost her mind. You won't have any money to retire on when you're 65, she responded. I don't have any money now, I said. She went on to tell me of all her retirement plans and savings, then asked, what I would do, if I didn't have money when I was too old to work? I'll come live with you, says I. Totally blew her mind. I just don't worry about the same things people worry about - Annoys the shit out of most people - Annoys me to know this. Don't worry, be happy. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
| January 1, 2018 My first thirty minutes of 2018 are spent staring at the blank page of a new blog. Last year I knew what to write. Last year I knew what I would do, once 2018 got here. Now I can't think of a single thing to write. 2017 was a train wreck of a year. Today I'm stepping off that train. I'm a survivor! (Late in 2016 my wife left our home in Regina Saskatchewan and moved to Ladysmith British Columbia, on Vancouver Island to take care of her mother, who was in the grips of Alzheimer's then got a stage four lung cancer diagnosis. Leslie, (my wife) spent the entire year of 2017 taking care of her mom.) Long story - short: Leslie's mom passed away peacefully in her home, with Leslie and I by her side. Now we're preparing to move on with our life together in Sunset Bay, Manitoba. Is it just me, or was 2017 some sort of terrible prank? I have to keep moving in order to recover. Leslie and I have to move on, and leave 2017 far behind us. Starting a new blog and making some new years' resolutions is a good starting point, and taking up the 30 Day Blogging Challenge is probably the best thing for me right now. One of my first resolutions is to not use swear words in this new blog, but fuck that. Here we go with the first 30 Day Blog prompt of 2018. In lieu of the traditional Motivational Monday prompt, welcome to your first curveball of 2018 *Smirk*. Tell us about a New Years' Resolution you're glad you didn't stick to. There must be one resolution I failed in keeping. I'll have to think about this for a few minutes. ... ... ... Okay! All of them! ... ... ... I failed every single time. Which one am I glad to have failed at? I'll have to think a bit longer. This is my take away from 2017... It's Bizarro World now! Losing is winning. Failing is succeeding. Wrong is right. Nothing is what it is - Everything is something else. So... every failure of the past is an opportunity to re-fail far into the unforeseeable future, and I'm very GLAD for that. Bring it on 2018. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Made in Canada |
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your comment. I've done some time curled up. The thumb-sucking never gets old, but the games get boring, and once you've seen all the videos the real world becomes a welcome lifestyle change.
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