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 |   As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book |
| Evolution of Love Part 2 |
At Dr. Sivaraman's request, I had taken him and Mrs. Sivaraman to the Ashram for darshan. Thereafter, he went on his own many times. He told me one or two of his remarkable experiences. Once, he wanted to purchase a garland of red roses for Sri Ma, but coincidentally on that day they had all been sold out and there were only marigold garlands let in the basket of the flower-vendor. So, he took a yellow garland and joined the queue in front of Sri Ma. Generally, Sri Ma used to take the offered garland in her own hand and with the other pick up the topmost from the heap next to her and and put it on the neck of the person bowing in front of her. She was very deft with this process of exchanging garlands and the queue moved quite quickly. When it was Dr. Sivaraman's turn to bow before her, she kept his garland in her lap and shifted the heap near her. The queue halted. She extracted a red rose-garland from the heap and put it round his neck. She gave him what he had wanted to offer to her ! The other story was very private and close to his heart. He told me that he had a desire to be initiated by her in the very sacred panchaksara mantra of the Saivas, but together with this, he had a strong inhibition against the female form of the Guru. South Indians have a very robust male oriented culture. I told him, " If you wish you can state your problems to Sri Ma quite openly and candidly". So Dr. Sivaraman asked for and was given a private audience on one of the days that he visited the Ashram. I went every day while Sri Ma was in residence. On that day I, along with other visitors and the Ashram girls as usual stood around in the lobby while the people who had appointments went into Sri Ma's room one by one. We saw Dr. Sivaraman go in for his for his interview and come out after some time, while the next person was asked to step in. I went up to him to ask about his talk with Sri Ma but I was deterred from saying anything. I saw that he was looking a little overcome ; his face was flushed and his eyes were bright with unshed tears. Obviously, he was not in a mood to talk. After a while, Sri Ma came out for her public darshan. There was a crowd in the lobby which sat quietly all around her for some time. I did not see Dr. Sivaraman again that day. At our next meeting he told me in confidence his experience of the initiation. He had said to Sri Ma that he had a great desire for a formal initiation, without which no progress can be made in one's spiritual quest, but he could not accept any one he knew as his Guru. Sri Ma said, "Look inside you, the Guru resides in your heart, then listen to what comes out of yourself". While she gazed steadily at him Dr. Sivaraman felt the sacred mantra welling forth from an inner source and as compulsively he pronounced it aloud in her presence. Sri Ma did not need to say anything at all. It all happened automatically! Having understand his problem at a glance she granted his desire in a way which was itself fulfilment for him. At that moment he knew her to be what she was. I regret that I did not write down immediately the exegesis propounded by him on this Initiation. His language was profund but lucid. I was impressed but I do not think I can reproduce it. He had a gift for languages. |
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