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Thursday, May. 2, 2024

1:26pm EDT

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey GoT Survivor!

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

January 30, 2020 at 6:47pm

#974570

How do people not cry at work all the time?

How the fuck do people not cry at work all the time? This is a serious question.

I almost cry at work at least 3 or 4 times a day. Sometimes I’m on the verge of tears the entire day. I don’t know if this is a part of working 50+ hours a week, or if it’s part of having mental health issues, or if it’s just part of being an extremely emotional person.

I’d like to (proudly) say that I have not actually cried at work in my one month stint; however, I’ve come very close every day. Like, giving myself a migraine from clenching my jaw so tightly to hold back the emotions kind of ‘close’.

It’s not just one thing causing me issues... It’s everything. I sincerely don’t get how people do it. I’ve not seen a single person cry in my time here, but I feel like I’m forever on the cusp of having a complete public meltdown.

I’m not getting proper training. Their idea of training is telling me to go to a meeting because it would be good for me to sit in on. Then I sit there for an hour and a half and have absolutely no idea what the meeting was about or what happened during it. There’s no formal training whatsoever. If I’m lucky, I can hang with my coworker like a fly on the wall observing shit that he’s doing, but it’s not enough to be able to go do the stuff myself.

This week though, I’ve not even done that. My boss is never in the office and doesn’t seem to care what I’m doing at all. I think he might have forgotten that I’m even here. I went from being so busy running around in meetings and in the field one week to doing literally nothing for 50 hours the next week.

This all probably sounds nice... get paid to do nothing... but it’s not.

I’m getting super depressed just sitting around thinking all day. I feel the obligation to at least look busy, which results in me just reading old files on my computer or clicking through spreadsheets making sure to hit “don’t save” when I exit out. Sometimes someone will storm into my office complaining that something in the numbers doesn’t make sense. Because I’ve not been trained at all, the only thing I can do is kind of stare at them and shrug (& try not to cry) until they stomp out.

And then I’m just sitting there alone again.

The worst days by far are the days where everyone is busy, buzzing around me in a panic, and there’s nothing I can do to help.

I start having dissociative issues on those days. It’s like I’m invisible and I just completely disconnect from myself and my surroundings.

The smallest things hurt my feelings too. For example, my coworker sent me an email today asking me to make all these accounting adjustments “if I’m comfortable” doing that. I had absolutely no idea how to even navigate the accounting software to find those accounts. That’s how much information I’m lacking. It upset me because it seemed like I should be comfortable enough to do that, but also, I witnessed him do it one time over 2 weeks ago. How in the world would I remember how to do it, let alone be comfortable enough to do it by myself?

It’s just not a fair shake to me..?

But anyway, the point is... how the fuck do people not cry at work all the time??????

4 Like • Comment • View 6 comments

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