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Sunday, May. 19, 2024

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

November 22, 2019 at 12:10am

#970186

Stay gone

Artist: Blondie
Song: Hanging on the Telephone
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Write about a missed connection.

My first thought here is... how would you even know if you had a missed connection?

Isn't it by definition something that didn't occur?

Or maybe I just don't romanticize things enough. I've seen in movies and maybe heard about people like making eye contact with a stranger and then walking away thinking you should have talked to them. I've gotta say, I've never had that experience in my entire life. I don't really have that level of physical attraction to people where I can look at a stranger and be like, "Ohhhhh snap."

I can objectively say that someone has attractive features, but that doesn't mean I want to talk to them or get to know them better. I figure I've got enough of a spider's web going in life, there's no benefit to dragging a complete stranger into it for funsies.

For the sake of the prompt though, I will tell a story that I think I've told before here. It's been a long time, so I'll tell it again abridged.

Answer to prompt starts here.

In middle school, there was a new girl in my grade. As soon as she started at my small, rural school, there were a ton of rumors about her. As kids do, the rumors became more and more outlandish with time. First it was that she’d been molested by her dad and sent into foster care. Then it was that she had killed her dad for molesting her and been sent to foster care. Then, maybe worst of all, that she’d made the entire thing up and had been sent to foster care because she was crazy.

By chance, she ended up sitting in front of me in one of my classes on her first day of school. We started talking because I consistently forgot to bring a pencil to math class and regularly depended on her to provide me with one for the duration of class. Eventually, we ended up talking about more than my pencil forgettability. We became friends.

My 13-year-old self had this extremely bright idea to never ever under any circumstance bring up what had happened to her. I figured she’d heard all the rumors about herself and I didn’t want her to think that I thought of her as the girl whose dad molested her because that’s not how I thought of her. We talked every day, studied together, hung out after school and on the weekends. We were pretty much inseparable, and I kept my silent vow to completely avoid at all cost bringing up her past.

I remember this night so clearly.

I was at her house one night. We were sitting in her bedroom listening to music and she just blurted out, “You do know I was molested by my dad, right?”

Of course, I was still trying to be nice™ at the time, so I immediately started blabbering like, “Oh, yeah, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to talk about it. Blahblahblah.”

I’ll never forget this look she got on her face. She was like, “Can I just please…?!”

Lightbulb moment for me.

That’s when I realized that sometimes people just need to be heard and believed. Without you trying to solve the problem. Without you inserting your opinion or your spin on it. Without you avoiding what happened. It’s so simple, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized it before. I’d spent all this time trying to be sensitive to the situation and nice™ when I really should have just given her a place to be heard and believed, something she’d clearly needed for so long.

Anyway, this is a missed connection because she was rather abruptly sent back into foster care and it was completely devastating. We tried to keep in touch as much as possible through letters, but it’s difficult to do when someone is getting bounced around.

For years, I would think about her and that situation, especially when it came time to actively listen to another human being. It was a huge lesson for me in empathy.

I always felt this longing to know what happened to her and this deep well of sadness because I knew there was nothing I could do to protect her, wherever she did end up.

Then, out of nowhere, she contacted my mother on social media a few years ago and asked my mother for my contact information because she wanted to talk to me. I couldn’t believe it that after all there’s years there would finally be closure.

But, as with a lot of things in life, it was nothing like the idealistic conclusion I’d built up in my head for years. I mean, it was at first. She thanked me for being there for her and told me how important of a role I played in her life at that time. I was relieved to know that my avoidance of her situation hadn’t tainted her memory of me.

And then the initial reconnection was over. Things just got weirded. She started saying all of these things to me that made no sense. Talking about things that supposedly occurred with us or around us during that time that I don’t remember at all. She became weirdly intent on visiting me almost immediately after we reconnected, and when I told her that we should maybe take some time to get to know who each other is now (honestly thinking of how I’ve changed in that time), she offered to bring me drugs if I let her visit me.

It was just… bizarre.

I still miss the fuck out of who she was when we were kids, but I had to cut off contact with her as she became increasingly unstable over the course of a couple weeks. I don’t blame her at all because she obviously went through so much, but I couldn’t get any sense of the person that I once knew.

Sad as hell, but sometimes lost connections should stay lost.

I'm in the phone booth, it's the one across the hall
If you don't answer, I'll just ring it off the wall

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