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 |   A journey of self-improvement - or not. |
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Sup? I'm Char. You may know me from timeless classics such as
and
I blog for things like
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya They say jump and ya say "how high?" Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head |
"JAFBG"  prompt: Some traditions are a lot of fun. Others are a pain in the ass. What are your least favorite holiday traditions?"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" prompt: Pumpkin Pie Day. Are you a fan? Why or why not."Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" /"Blogging Circle of Friends " prompt: Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad, Seasons Greetings or simply Hi. If you're in a writing mood feel free to post your entry.I desperately need the holidays to be over. Nothing happened. I just got hit with this panic-level need for the holidays - all of them - to be fucking over and done with. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin with the need for the holidays to never be mentioned again. This Election Day to New Years Day time period in 2020 has felt literally like 8 fucking months. I need it to be over. I don't care. We don't have to pretend like shit is awesome. We don't have to pretend "for the sake of the holidays" that anything is business as usual. This is the shit that makes me hate the holidays. "Well, gee golly, I couldn't possibly celebrate THE HOLIDAYS™ away from my family. Let's talk about holiday traditions that are a pain in the ass. That's the big hitter. This fucking bizarre idea that a random Friday in December is a #bigdeal. It doesn't matter. It's an illusion. Meaning is being placed on this arbitrary date as though specific things have to happen on that exact date. Like you couldn't possibly do the same exact thing on a random Wednesday in June. I don't want to hear about THE HOLIDAYS™ or how there's this life or death need for people to see their family members on those specific dates. This year has made it especially apparent how little this shit matters to me. There's only so many baked goods you can make (and consume) or so many holiday movies you can watch or gifts you can buy or whatever you're expected to do on these dates. It's especially annoying that you have to feel weird if you're doing something normal on the eve of a major holiday, like, just reading a book or something. It's like, "Oh, you're not celebrating?" Celebrating what? Explain to me what we have to celebrate and then I'll consider it. Until then, I'm just going to read a book like every other day because this.is.every.other.day. It's the exact same as last Friday. Next Friday will also be the exact same. And the one after that. It's not "scrooge-ish" to say this. I don't care what holidays you celebrate or don't celebrate. I don't care what you believe in or don't believe in. It's just... blah. Are you feeling my panic-level need for the holidays to disappear? Because I'm feeling it. Like, can it be mid-January when people can stop pretending like we have to give a fuck about any of this?  This isn't even a 2020 thing for me, to be fair. I basically want to skip from November 1st to January 15th every year. I don't particularly care whether or not the holiday cheer is real or not, although I can say that a lot of people who have 'holiday cheer' aren't especially kind throughout the rest of the year, in my experience.It's the just the whole ado of it. This weird pressure to somehow participate even when you're like, "Oh, hey, file that under things I don't care about." When I'm thinking of holiday traditions, I find almost none of them to be anything to write home about:  Eating a bunch of food. Not my style. I hate the feeling of overeating so I never do it. To answer the 30DBC prompt, I don't mind the food. I do like pumpkin pie, depending on my mood. I can also make that at any time of the year and I'd likely prefer it around Halloween. But I just hate any pressure placed on me to "eat more" and I think it's a very American-centric issue. Like, while a normal human wouldn't require any more food than you've had, please continue to stuff your face because it's the holidaaaayyys. Gifts. I've ranted about them before. I hate them. I hate trying to buy something for people who make way more money than me and also have no hobbies outside of work. I hate receiving gifts and being like errr, thanks, a decorative cat plate! Cheer-mode initiated. I hate that I can't even write what I'm writing right now without people reading it and likely thinking, Bah-humbug! No, you can be in a bad mood, even if it's the holidays. They're the exact same as any other day which means it's relatively normal to have good days and bad days throughout the 2-month period. The family stress. I hate seeing my family under the pressure of the holidays. Is something stressful from the past going to get brought up? Is that one distant family member going to say something weird again? Is everyone going to like their gifts? Is everyone going to like the food? Is everyone going to have cheer mode initiated? Seeing people outside of the holidays has a totally different, way more chill vibe.There are things I liked about the holidays at one point. For a while, I enjoyed seeing my family and we'd play board games and have a few drinks. It was pretty nice. Then my brothers both got married and started having a bunch of kids. Now our holidays are like what you think of when you see a stressful holiday movie- not enough seats for everyone, distant relatives of in-laws that you don't really know, g-rated conversation because of the kids, constant screaming and crying from the kids so no real conversation can be had. I love the kids in my family, obviously, but from my perspective the holidays kind of look like driving super far only to have everyone who lives in the same area show up an hour late because they have kids. Being forced into awkward conversation with my sister-in-law's great uncle. Not being able to talk to anyone I actually know because they're rushing around like chickens with their heads cut off. Getting a migraine because someone is microwaving eggs and the kids have been screaming for an hour straight. Then wandering off at some point feeling like I wasn't actually there because the only evidence I have of my being there is that I now know how my sister-in-law's great uncle lost his left pinky toe. It's, um, awkward? But that's not my real beef with the holidays. I can handle that although I wouldn't really call it fun or interesting in any way. I get that things don't exist to entertain me. What I can't get over is bullet point 3 in my list. This fetishization of joy that you're supposed to, without question, feel for an extended period of time because it's THE HOLIDAYS™ and you're being a real bummer if you don't follow the known rules of them. Like, come on, we don't have to get manic every single December. It's not that big of a deal. And as far as covid holidays go, yes, it sucks that you can't safely see your family members. I empathize. But what would really be cool is if we could stop pretending like something has to occur on an exact date or it's all ruined. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. That's like primary school level knowledge. Get vaccinated and celebrate coming out on the other side of all of this in May or whatever. The weather will be better anyway. I've counted blessings while confessing I've some to spare Beg or borrow, swallow sorrow I have come prepared ~TA |
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