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A collection of thoughts and ideas |
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Welcome friend
You have found my collection of ideas and thoughts. Who knows there might even be an article or two hidden in here. |
Trials ahead of me. This will not be an easy path I take next but I know that in the long run it will do me good. I have been offered a spot in the managers training program that will start soon at my work. the only thing is that I have never been given the openings to do my standard training because of how busy we have been. With that said my boss cut my floor hours back and has it set up for me to inform her when i am doing the needed catch up work in my non scheduled times so I do get paid and ma on a different clock for it. I have like 10 courses to do that I know of and that is just the starting collection before the training begins. I know I got this. It has been a long time coming for someone to notice what I do without thinking about it is in a managers mind set already. Grant it I was taught how to take that control and hold ti if needed. But that's what I get for being raised by a mother that was in charge of several different companies as I was growing up. In fact one company I watched here redo the whole office structure to fit the company's needs. I here have been known to take lead on things when we have new hires so that the managers can do the things they are needed for around the store. |
| Well, I knew that one of my managers was grooming to become a manager or at lest go into management training in the coming months. With that being said, I took it as just an opening to basically become team lead of my department. Well, I got pulled into the office by my gm and offered the opportunity to start training to become a manager. That really dose mean they will make time for me to get all my local level training done as well. I'm nearly a year behind because I never have relief so I can study. And it's not like like can take the program home to work on. I was not sure I really wanted this till I talked with the one I want to be with. It was like because I knew it would be good for me I was uneasy till he agreed that it would be wise. Then it was a shift in thinking I was not expecting me to feel comfortable with. Yet, here I am trying to plan each section out,so I can do this as fast as I can to be ready for the classes to start. |
| I keep trying to move forward. Yet all I ever seem to find is walls and pit falls. Most often when if comes directly to things that concern me. I'm lost all I ever wanted was to be just a little selfish and find someone who wanted to spend the future at my side. When ever I even get close things happen ripping up inside once more taking that simple dream and shred it to pieces. |
| So, many things have happened over this year. I should not feel like I do bit each time I turn around something else is getting in my way. The one I want to get to know better ended up getting sick just before this weekend so he was unable to come visit me. How did this all start? Well, to be honest this started years ago back when I worked at Sam's Club in Fairbanks. I was a demo partner. I enjoyed doing my job giving out samples to people and keeping them informed to what I had each day. Well, there was a guy that worked receiving and stocking in the early part of the day that caught my attention. I got to know him as a friend because he had a family and someone he was with when my husband passed away I drew away from most but he was one of that it did not really matter I could talk to him about anything. I did my best to always be respectful. As time went on he ended up leaving Sam's Club before I had my fourth child and we lost contact with each other. Its been nearly 14 years since we last talked. Then around the new year we ended up finding each other once more. Thanks to one of those online dating sites. During the spring we had made plans for him to come to the city I am in so we could spend time together. The virus got in our way as the state locked down and a new way of life was taught to the people. I did manage to get up the city he lives in over the summer. We spent a few hours together just talking and getting to know each other again. This past week we had made plans for him to come see me till he had a coworker show up at work with signs of the virus. It turned out to be an irritating gift. Since it looks like the one that showed up when they should not have saved my fiend a lot of stress from getting caught on the road when things started to happen. Needless to say, my plans got canceled once more. At lest this time it saved us from being in the position of both of us out of work for 2 weeks. I keep hoping that this is just a temporary delay. I really enjoy spending time with him. He has been one of the first I have been around in years that makes me feel safe enough to relax my guard. I feel better when around him. Things are brighter and well..... I can say I want to go do things with him. Simple things like going out and tinkering with the cars. Just going for a walk with not designated destination. To even shopping for things needed. Then again there is more I would like to enjoy with him like watching movies and waking up in his arms. I pray this comes true one day, for now I sit here waiting and watching. Doing as I always do and taking care of my son and work. |
| I don't know why I let myself dream anymore. Every time I do I hurt myself. It's not because my dreams are impossible but do to things out of my control. 2 times this year I made plans and dreamed of spending time with one I would to call mine. Now, each time this virus has blocked my path. I one time this summer only because I pushed aside virus fears and took a chance while sleeping in a car at night. I'm just feeling depressed. Knowing there is nothing I can do to fix this. What has happened I'm not at fault for. It's just that i dared to dream. |
| My weekends was a rough one. But I can say that in a way I won. Started with me just asking my son what he had to do in school work that lead to him being a grump butt and starting a fight that caused the power to get shut off 2 times to the xbox. That ended with him not being able to play for the res of the day. He also had to get his assignments done by Sunday night or I would take the power cables to all the consoles. Needless to say my son got all the assignments I knew about done and turned in. Only one got a point drop because of being late. The other 2 assignments both got positive comments from his teachers. So, I did not have to pull the cables nor did he get any more grumbles from his teachers about late assignments. I pray that he has learned his lesson about doing as I say about school work at lest. The funny thing is he could have had all of Sunday if he had listened and done his work Saturday. Then again if he had split it between the 2 days he could have had more time to play on both. |
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Happy WDC Birthday and happy holidays SW. 