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Whew! Life! It's time to get down and let her rip! |
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{f:comic} It's time to get SERIOUS. I haven't been writing due to life but I know now if I let life stand in the way of my talent I will loose it. I have to write or read about writing. I have to hand write in journals. I have to be active on this sight. I need to read the literature I want to write! We all have to get with the program or get off the speed boat of life. |
| Since when does having fun take so much energy than it used to? My daughter had a perfect answer to what kind of diease I might have; something to do with my Thyroid. If that is what it is after all the things on menopause, depression, ect. the main reason she thinks this is because I can be talking with someone and just fall asleep. It's so embrassing. I've got to find out what's wrong because not knowing is really hard on me. I went to the indoor pool to exercise. My husband had to beg me to go. It's not like me. |
| Last night was a hard night after I spent most of it thinking of my teacher, mentor, friend and fellow writer who took her life at the young age of 59. You always think there could have been more you could have done but like most of us with depression she locked the door and didn't answer the phone. To all of you who think you can just snap out of depression it isn't as easy as Tom Cruise says it can be. I never believed in depression until it did me like those fish commercials on the telly. I laugh when I see the fishes tail just whop the crap out of someone. My husband doesn't think it's funny but it is and that's how depression does. One day you are at the doctor's office knowing you have some dreaded diease or going through menopause early and she comes in with your life history, herstory in those manilla files. Well, Diane I hate to tell you this but you are depressed. You've been through enough to kill a person but your mind can't handle it anymore: a son in prison, a teenage girl who had to take second place to the son because you were always trying to save him (she was the one 4th in her class with scholarships and a good head on her shoulders), a husband who broke his back in a coalmining accident then had a car wreck that left him in the hospital 30 days, he had our beloved pet with him---she was lost until the paper did a human interest story on her, the job in God's backyard but Hell's workplace for me. It was so much of a strugle I had someone come up to me and say, Diane, when I see God I want to ask Him why you have all this turmoil in your life and you try so hard." Then again this is where we get our stories, from life, from the characters we see, the pain they endure, the personality conflicts. When I think of Karen, my teacher, just being this fantastic writer, a published one. Hollywood was looking at her book for a script to make into a film. Her teaching, although she had a fondness for red pens which she didn't use sparely on the papers we wrote. You know there's a special quote which reads that a teacher doesn't know where her influence starts or stops. That was her. May God place his loving arms around the family that no longer see's her smiling blue eyes and remembers she carried dog food in the back of her car to feed to the strays along the way. Instead of flowers she wanted money give to the humane society. To all who read this, stop by the store and by some dog food and take it to your local humane society. They also can use old blankets, quilts, and towels. As always, Me |
| You know you can do a lot this day and time without spending any money and enjoy yourself just the same. As we sit on our pity party ass complaining about the price of gas I wonder if we thought this day was never going to come. Do we think they are making any more Dinosaurs? We probably should have had this eye opening experience long ago? Hey, didn't we have one back during the seventies or has old age hit me so hard that I am mistaken? Many of our foreign countries have already begun paying the enormous price of gas years ago. I live in the south where there is no public transportation. What do you do in that case? If you don't have a job you learn to make one trip to town last. Then you enjoy your land, the flowers, the song of the birds, and the color of the butterflies when they land on your blooming Butterfly bush. Yes, folks there is plenty to do when gas prices are high and will probably remain so and those of you who have gas hogs, you might as well trade them in, if you can and settle for a smaller vehicle. As they always say when life gives you lemons, get you some used cooking oil and make some diesel fuel, it sells for more money than regular gas. That's it for today. If I've made anyone mad, hell it ain't the first time! |
| I keep daydreaming about really weird things, it's during these times that my imagination is flowing and I should be writing. I haven't had the urge since my teacher killed herself. It depresses me so much. Why didn't she reach out to someone? So many thought so much of her, including me, her peers, her sister, nieces. I just wonder how it got so bad then it makes me want to reach out and tell her things are going to be okay. I've got to get with the hang of things. Monday is a new week. I've got lots of ideas for a personal journal. I want to make one that I can include all kinds of articles and stuff in that will encourage me to write more. Like an article I read the other day about San Jose, CA painting their jail pink! |
| I keep daydreaming about really weird things, it's during these times that my imagination is flowing and I should be writing. I haven't had the urge since my teacher killed herself. It depresses me so much. Why didn't she reach out to someone? So many thought so much of her, including me, her peers, her sister, nieces. I just wonder how it got so bad then it makes me want to reach out and tell her things are going to be okay. I've got to get with the hang of things. Monday is a new week. I've got lots of ideas for a personal journal. I want to make one that I can include all kinds of articles and stuff in that will encourage me to write more. Like an article I read the other day about San Jose, CA painting their jail pink! |
| I had a call just yesterday. My college English instructor who believed in me took her life. She had 20 or more years with the community college system. She had published a few great books and one was up for a screen play in Hollywood. Karen was really conscience about her weight and was scheduled to have gastic by pass this coming week. I hate it so much because she believed in me and others. The underdogs. I won an award for the best sophmore English student and one for her publishing two of my essays. She also taught my son who makes his permanant home in jail. She wrote to him and loved him as she did many of her students. It is so sad to see someone with such a great talent leave this world. Karen will be missed and her influence will go on and on in this life. May she rest in peace. |
| Well, Aretha song about it and I learned to spell respect at and early age. I don't know if anyone has ever thought about this song but it needs to become a big hit of today. Is there any respect today? Let's ponder that idea this morning. First, let's see what Mr. Webster said respect is, was, could be, should be in his hard spoken terms. Hold on gotta go to word and check. I think the number one reason for a lot of women's self-esteem is the lack of respect. As you look below at the Definition. Has any of you lately felt like you had a cloud of admiration, thoughtfulness, consderation, or high character around you or has it been one of gloom and doom? Hell, turn on the tv people and you will see there is no respect around us! Listen to the song by John Mayer, Vultures and it sounds a little more like the world today:Vultures Some of us, We're hardly ever here The rest of us, we're born to disappear How do I stop myself from Being just a number How will I hold my head To keep from going under Down to the wire I wanted water but I'll walk through the fire If this is what it takes To take me even higher Then I'll come through Like I do When the world keeps Testing me, testing me,testing me How did they find me here What do they want from me All of these vultures hiding Right outside my door I hear them whisperin They're tryin to ride it out Cause they've never gone this long Without a kill before Down to the wire I wanted water but I'll walk through the fire If this is what it takes To take me even higher Then I'll come through Like I do When the world keeps Testing me, testing me, testing me And I think some of us do want to disappear. re·spect re·spect [ri spékt] n (plural re·spects) 1. esteem: a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something He has no respect for authority. 2. state of being admired: the state of being admired deferentially 3. thoughtfulness: consideration or thoughtfulness 4. characteristic: an individual characteristic or point satisfactory in every respect or re·spects, npl regards: polite greetings offered to somebody vt (past and past participle re·spect·ed, present participle re·spect·ing, 3rd person present singular re·spects) 1. esteem somebody or something: to feel or show admiration and deference toward somebody or something 2. not go against or violate something: to pay due attention to and refrain from violating something respect the law respect another's privacy 3. be considerate toward somebody or something: to show consideration or thoughtfulness in relation to somebody or something [14th century. Via French < Latin respectus , past participle of respicere "regard, look back at" < specere "look at"] See regard. Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. In the south when someone dies we show respect. That's what it is called. When a funeral possession is driving down the highway we are such a great clan of people we stop on the side of the road to let them go by. Why? We are showing respect. Let an ambulance to down the road these days and no one pulls over. Oh, excuse me they do pull over, all over the road like a bunch of ants trying to get away from someone plugging up their hole. Oh, I want to ask because I don't remember, what kind of ants does the north have as insects? The ones down here are called many things: piss ants, fireants, red ants. When I first came to the south in 1972 I thought this was a wonderful thing to do; what I didn't think was a great idea was riding in the car with my boyfriend and everyone waving at him. What the hell did he do go out with every Momma, daughter and then heaven forbid he even waved at old men? What did I say? Who in the hell do you not know? He said, "Aw, now honey, that's just how folks are in the south. WE are just friendly." Great thing to say but really I think he was just keeping some of them old girlfriends on the side. As I end this BLOG session which will continue on.....I want you to think of this as free writing. It isn't anything I'm going to go back over and check my spelling, unless of course, I'm so off on it that you won't understand. I'm not going to be giving you your opinion this is mine! Also, anyone mention within my BLOG needs to read this: Anything said in this book, BLOG, that relates to any one human being, that being is guilty until proven innocent. In other words the names have been changed to protect the gulity. I have also gave Mr. WEbster, Ms. Franklin, and John Mayer their names herein to prove it wasn't I who wrote the dictionary, RESPECT, or Vultures. {f:comic} People, writers, and family men alike, please take the time to read Gabriella's new article about copywriting. It's so important we all get on the bandwagon and support this legislation. If we don't we aren't going to be s*** as writers or artists. Thanks and have a nice day! Until we meet again! Happy trails to you! ![Merit Badge in Psychology
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Hi Diane! This is for being the 10th entry in I Cry Silently Poetry Contest. We thank you for your entry in Leila's contest! Take care, Gail](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Psychology-1320.gif) |
| It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as a lamb.-Roman proverb Roaring wouldn't hurt me a bit especially after going to my psychatrist and pouring out my soul. I think he hated to admit that I am a bit stuck when you have your choice of living with your abusive Mother or your abusive husband. I don't have a job. All I have is depression and yes, that's what I should do is roar like a lion! |
| Why can't I jump start my body out of this listless mood? I am afraid there isn't a pill out there that can lift my spirits up. I'm afraid this time coming out of my depression is just going to be left on my shoulders. Maybe when we are younger and busy with children, career, decsions, we lack to know if we are happy or sad and if we do not feel the blank part of our lives we continue to feel this way. I've got to shake myself from this and start exercising and not listen to the gloom and doom of the news. Write! I've got all the tiem in the world to write now. I always said if I didn't have a job I would be on the computer completing a book. 1 page a day in a year would be 365 pages. I've got to get on the ball. Everyone has said since I was a young child that I needed to write. In the 6th grade I wrote a journal on a trip the students took to Niagra Falls on a train. They published it for the children to read in elementary school. How cool was that and if my memory serves me correctly that was in about 1965. Time won't wait for me. Oh, check out the group I'm trying to start. There are no prizes just a personal satifaction in knowing you've sent a card or letter to someone who really needs one. Till later, dudes and chicks! Di |
| I feel drained of emotion. I don't know how i will make it another day. I feel so sleepyl I don't feel like I can get up and walk around like I have been drained of all energy living with someone who's the same way with depression. I feel they cloud my mind until it doesn't have the energy that I feel I need to have. Diane, without energy I need, perhaps a Dr. Pepper will do it! See you, that' swhat I need! |
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