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 |    Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation. |
   L'aura del campo 'é a lua, é a lua, na quintana dos mortos' ♣ Federico García Lorca ♣  L'aura del campo. A breeze in the meadow. So it began the last day of Spring, 2005; on the 16th day of the month of Light of the year 162. This is a supplement to my daily journal written to a friend, my muse; notes I do not share. Here I will share what the breeze has whispered to me. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I L  V COMMENTS!On a practical note, in answer to your questions: IN MEMORIUM VerySara  passed away November 12, 2005 Please visit her port to read her poems and her writings. More suggested links:  These pictures rotate.   Kåre  Enga~ until everything was rainbow, rainbow, rainbow! And I let the fish go. ~ Elizabeth Bishop, The Fish |
The first line is for
There was a strange sound coming from under the bed of course. Spot and Cookie always fought over the heating grate. They prefered that to warming my cold feet! My feet were forever cold. "Born blue", "My blue baby", my mother was constantly surprised that I'd survived. "We dressed him in red to warm him up", my father would add, "like a mini Santa". Yes my birthday was the 23rd of December. They named me Navidad. Now they never mention it without crying. "Felix Navidad was such a beautiful young boy until..." Until what mom and dad? Until the day I ran away or was it the day I told you I was trans and wanted you to call me Zoe? Or was it the day you got 'the call'. Do you want me to remind you? "So sorry but your daughter was in an accident." Accident my ass. My brakes were cut and everyone knows it. "It's better this way," they all lamented. Better for whom? Not for me! I'd just had implants and now they were leaking just like the rest of me. I could show you pictures. Yes, they have pictures. But you didn't want to look, didn't even want to come to the hospital until grandma begged you. Was it the day I died? No, you felt relief. Was it the moment I revived and gave grandma a heart attack? Sorry about that, Nana, but you wouldn't let me go! So, I stayed. As blue as ever. My feet forever cold. I'd ask Spot and Cookie to join me. They know I'm still here. But cats... they do as they will. Cookie will lick my cheek and Spot meows as if I could answer. If I ever wake up I will. It's odd knowing what's going on and not being able to tell you 'where to go'. If I ever walk again I'll run away, run away from you and 'Felix', your beautiful boy. I'll take grandma with me. She sits with me you know. Never did leave me except for her funeral. I think she was curious. She smiles a lot. Spot and Cookie knows she's there. Thankfully you don't. They're all I have. Flat on my back and hooked up like a Christmas tree, I plan. What else can I do? Last night I made a light flicker and rugs seem to slip out from under you. You change a bulb, swear you'll be careful next time you get out of the tub. You don't suspect it could be me. No, it could be your beautiful boy. And it isn't. It's me, Zoe. Now an item:
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