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 |    Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation. |
   L'aura del campo 'é a lua, é a lua, na quintana dos mortos' ♣ Federico García Lorca ♣  L'aura del campo. A breeze in the meadow. So it began the last day of Spring, 2005; on the 16th day of the month of Light of the year 162. This is a supplement to my daily journal written to a friend, my muse; notes I do not share. Here I will share what the breeze has whispered to me. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! I L  V COMMENTS!On a practical note, in answer to your questions: IN MEMORIUM VerySara  passed away November 12, 2005 Please visit her port to read her poems and her writings. More suggested links:  These pictures rotate.   Kåre  Enga~ until everything was rainbow, rainbow, rainbow! And I let the fish go. ~ Elizabeth Bishop, The Fish |
Snow geese Her meadows brown and wither, coarse stubble wedged between thighs; An ancient gander gleans grains during this rice harvest time. Kåre Enga [177.87] (10.juni.2020) 雪雁 草甸棕色和枯萎, 大腿之間的粗茬; 老甘德收集種子, 在水稻收穫季節。 草地 微風 [177.87] (2020年6月10日) xuě yàn cǎo diàn zōngsè hé kūwěi dàtuǐ zhī jiān de cū chá lǎo gān dé shōují zhǒngzǐ zài shuǐdào shōuhuò jìjié cǎodì wéifēng For:
Notes: Jue Ju (絕句: juéjù) (七絕: qījué = 7 zi) I approached this as a challenge to translate back and forth from English to Chinese trying to make some sense of tonal patterns in Chinese (level (平) tones and oblique (仄)) while following word count (5) and syllables (6 or 7) in English. A real pain. To be erotic is to suggest ... who knows whether it's erotic in Chinese! In English it may be too subtle. 草地 微風 (cǎodì wéifēng) is the translation of my name: kåre = breeze (ripple) = 微風 (wéifēng); enga = meadow (grassy field) = 草地 (cǎodì) [a rough translation between 3 languages]. Note that 草, the first character of my name, starts the poem (I thought that was neat). Also that cǎo in line 1 has the same tone as lǎo in line 3 and dàtuǐ in line 2 is echoed as zài shuǐ in line 4. The end characters follow a tonal abab (although they are all oblique 仄). The patterns: ○ is a character with a level tone, while ● is a character with an oblique tone (a rising, departing or entering tone). This poem doesn't match as well as I'd like ● ● ○ ● ● ○ ● (first line: isn't a traditional pattern nor does the opposite pattern follow like it should) ● ● ○ ○ ● ○ ● . Same with 3rd and 4th: ● ○ ● ○ ● ● ●, ● ● ● ○ ● ● ●. To know ones word choices and adjust? Yes ... this is frustrated verse.  . But since I'm interested in Tang dynasty poetry it's good place to begin.In English I tried to have 5 words and 7 syllables per line. I succeeded but word choice was difficult: (the/her) (meadow/field) (stubble/straw) (wedged/grasped) (goose/gander) (during/through) (season/time). A 5 word / 6 syllable would look like this: Her fields brown and wither, coarse straw grasped between thighs; An old gander gleans grains through this rice harvest time. [177.87b] It's at best a transliteraton, an attempt to be poetic in two languages. IMHO, it's best to start from the second language and translate into ones first; but, at least it's an attempt. |
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