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 |   As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book |
| Evolution of Love Part 2 |
| My Supaandi Avatar While I could most easily march in an inconvenient military training environment wearing heavy drill boots with my rifle slung across my shoulders and lead my troops which included men double my height and age ; I would magically get transformed into one Supaandi just when I would be in front of my prim and proper mother in law . She having witnessed my inabilities of doing most of the household chores in such a wonky way leading her to gasp in exasperation ; she decided not to give me any duty in my brother in law’s wedding ceremony lest the guests taunt her later on. The guests arrived . I dressed up beautifully in a sequinned work glittery saree , matching bangles, heavy gold Jwellery and heavier makeup just kept standing doing nothing .. I couldn’t even fake that i am busy ... They smiled at me , I smiled back at them . The smiles of guests were of various meanings - The older guests had question in their smiles as to why the daughter in law not been put to any work . The middle aged guests had mockery in their smiles as to how much useless this daughter in law is . The younger guests had irritation in their smiles as to why this daughter in law is doing nothing and just enjoying herself . And here I the hard working Army officer itched to be put on some duty ... ( yes Army officers love to be in momentum !) So I looked around to find a job for myself . I walked around the banquet hall and reached the dining area . A lone civilian waiter was arranging a pile of dinner plates . I decided to take on, “Are you a waiter? He stared at me from top to bottom wondering this lady’s ensemble of a coy daughter in law doesn’t match with her tone at all . He didn’t reply . “call Superwiser He ran inside and few seconds later a rotund man in an over sized black suit ,white shirt hanging out from one side and with red tie appeared in-front of me . “I want to do food tasting. I will check if it’s ok and then only you will lay it out for the guests. And give me report when the food is ready just before guests start helping themselves “ “How report “ he spoke in manageable English . “food is ready gentleman. I taught him thinking this typical Fauji practice to announce about readiness of food will leave my in laws totally bowled over granting them some kind of show off supremacy amidst their relatives .... “And don’t forget to speak this in loud voice “ I added before walking away to the main entrance to stand back like a mannequin ... The guests started moving towards the buffet table ..... the Superwiser comes running with a plate heaped with rice , pooris , paneer , dahi vada ,gulab jamun and pushes into my hand shouting, “Food is ready for all" PS: Needless to mention all the relatives went into instant shock thinking this daughter -in - law had arranged to eat first even before the guests could pick !!! My Supaandi Avatar While I could most easily march in an inconvenient military training environment wearing heavy drill boots with my rifle slung across my shoulders and lead my troops which included men double my height and age ; I would magically get transformed into one Supaandi just when I would be in front of my prim and proper mother in law . She having witnessed my inabilities of doing most of the household chores in such a wonky way leading her to gasp in exasperation ; she decided not to give me any duty in my brother in law’s wedding ceremony lest the guests taunt her later on. The guests arrived . I dressed up beautifully in a sequinned work glittery saree , matching bangles, heavy gold Jwellery and heavier makeup just kept standing doing nothing .. I couldn’t even fake that i am busy ... They smiled at me , I smiled back at them . The smiles of guests were of various meanings - The older guests had question in their smiles as to why the daughter in law not been put to any work . The middle aged guests had mockery in their smiles as to how much useless this daughter in law is . The younger guests had irritation in their smiles as to why this daughter in law is doing nothing and just enjoying herself . And here I the hard working Army officer itched to be put on some duty ... ( yes Army officers love to be in momentum !) So I looked around to find a job for myself . I walked around the banquet hall and reached the dining area . A lone civilian waiter was arranging a pile of dinner plates . I decided to take on, “तुम वेटर हो ? “ He stared at me from top to bottom wondering this lady’s ensemble of a coy daughter in law doesn’t match with her tone at all . He didn’t reply . “अपने Superwiser को बुलाओ” He ran inside and few seconds later a rotund man in an over sized black suit ,white shirt hanging out from one side and with red tie appeared in-front of me . “I want to do food tasting. I will check if it’s ok and then only you will lay it out for the guests. And give me report when the food is ready just before guests start helping themselves “ “How report “ he spoke in manageable English . “भोजन प्रस्तुत है श्रीमान” I taught him thinking this typical Fauji practice to announce about readiness of food will leave my in laws totally bowled over granting them some kind of show off supremacy amidst their relatives .... “And don’t forget to speak this in loud voice “ I added before walking away to the main entrance to stand back like a mannequin ... The guests started moving towards the buffet table ..... the Superwiser comes running with a plate heaped with rice , pooris , paneer , dahi vada ,gulab jamun and pushes into my hand shouting, “ये लीजिए भोजन प्रस्तुत है आपके लिए ” PS: Needless to mention all the relatives went into instant shock thinking this daughter -in - law had arranged to eat first even before the guests could pick up the plates!!! |
| The donkey told the tiger: The grass is blue. The tiger replied: No, the grass is green. The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, and to do so they approached the lion. Before reaching the clearing in the forest where the lion was sitting on his throne, the donkey started screaming: ′′Your Highness, isn't it true that the grass is blue?" The lion replied: "True, the grass is blue". The donkey rushed forward and continued: ′′The tiger disagrees with me and contradicts me and annoys me. Please punish him". The king then declared: ′′The tiger will be punished with 5 years of silence". The donkey jumped with joy and went on his way, content and repeating: ′′The grass is blue".. The tiger accepted his punishment, but he asked the lion: ′′Your Majesty, why have you punished me, after all, the grass is green?" The lion replied: ′′In fact, the grass is green". The tiger asked: ′′So why do you punish me?" The lion replied: That has nothing to do with the question of whether the grass is blue or green. The punishment is because it is not possible for a brave, intelligent creature like you to waste time arguing with a donkey, and on top of that to come and bother me with that question The worst waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who doesn't care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on discussions that make no sense... There are people who for all the evidence presented to them, do not have the ability to understand, and others who are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and the only thing that they want is to be right even if they aren’t. When ignorance screams, intelligence shuts up. Your peace and tranquility are worth more. |
Karl Marx once said, "Remove one freedom per generation, and soon you will have no freedom and no one will have noticed." One day while the class was in the lab, a professor noticed one young man, kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt. The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him that he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country, who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist regime. Then, the student looked at the professor and asked a strange question, "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?" The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punchline. The young man said that it was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free food. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. At first, they are scared, but when they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly, the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity." The young man then told the professor, "That is exactly what he sees happening in many countries. The governments keep pushing us towards Communism/Socialism and such like other isms, and keep spreading the free corn out in the form of programmes such as supplemental or entitled income perhaps delivered at home, welfare entitlements like free rations, electricity, water etc, medicines, drugs, urge masses to go on strike with assured welfare measures during the period of strike etc, while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time." One should always remember two truths: 1. There is no such thing as a free lunch, and 2. You can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself. If you see that all of this wonderful government 'help' is a problem confronting the future of democracy, there is hope. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then God help you when the gate slams shut! Most of the problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote for a living! 🙏🙏 |
| GRACE is always there”. Sri Ramana Maharshi said these words to one of the countless hearts who came to him for spiritual guidance and solace. Is not the sage grace embodied? Once, when Sri Bhagavan was asked whether grace was not the gift conferred by the guru, he replied, “God, guru and grace are synonymous terms. They are immanent and eternal”. Grace! Here lies the heart of spiritual life! From this source wells forth the infinite variety of forms which grace assumes, as it were, in order to dissipate the mists of the chimera called ignorance. These are relative terms, for on a loftier level, Sri Bhagavan taught that there is neither seeker nor goal, for Self alone is. Few are ready, however, to follow the Sage’s supreme teaching or Maha Yoga; others must take hold of the Ariadne thread which will lead them out of the labyrinth of wrong identification with the spurious ego. This thread is made of simple twine, and every pilgrim may take hold of it. One qualification is necessary — sincerity! The sage of Arunachala knew who was sincere. In the questions answered by Sri Bhagavan it is striking how infinitely gentle and patient he was with certain humble enquirers, and how he refrained from replying in like vein to other persons whose questions were not sincere. Without the mysterious operation of grace, no seeker would be aware that there was something lacking which must be found, or something lost which must be rediscovered. Grace may be likened to an exquisite love song which is an invitation to the sacred grove of silence where all who have ears to hear may hear this divine call, and enter. Sri Ramana Maharshi radiated grace, and his compassion excluded none. His wisdom-power-love was, and remains, measureless. Faith without works is dead. This is so true, for to pay homage to Sri Bhagavan without following his path would be to pay but lip service whilst the heart is not alive. The Ariadne thread is there, but those who revere the Sage of Arunachala should ever bear in mind that ahimsa in thought, word and deed must be observed faithfully and put into practice daily. As in days of yore, by the fruits shall be known the devotees of the Master! Sri Bhagavan’s teachings have been brilliantly expounded by eminent scholars, poets and devotees, and different individuals may be attracted to different facets of the sage’s life. To this heart, ever vividly present is Sri Maharshi’s infinite tenderness towards even the tiniest creatures. His beautiful smile greeted the mother-bird busily preparing her nest for her family in the meditation hall. The wild monkeys, including Nondi the lame one, knew that they had nothing to fear from Sri Bhagavan. Likewise came many other animals. One remembers especially Lakshmi the cow, whose great love for the Master is deeply touching and is beautifully told by Arthur Osborne. The gentle solicitude, patience and compassion shown by Sri Ramana Maharshi towards all forms of life is not mere sentimentality. It has profound meaning. Every action of the Maharshi is of utmost importance. |
| The beginning and the end of the world is only God's one breath, the duration of which is numberless years. Between this one breath, myriads of lives have been born, lived and died, and have experienced this world and that world, heaven and the contrary place, all. .Souls are the rays of this sun, which is called in Sanskrit 'Brahmani'. And the nature of the ray is to extend and withdraw, to appear and disappear; and the duration of its existence is incomparably short when considered with the duration of the Eternal God, the Divine Spirit. There are living creatures, small germs and worms and insects, who do not live longer than a moment. And there are other beings whose life is for a hundred years, and some creatures who live longer still; and yet it is a moment, even if it were a thousand years, compared with Eternity. . . The Sanskrit word 'pala', which means 'moment', has come from the pulse which beats; it comes from pulsation. This knowledge has been completed, to some extent, by the study of nature, the changes of the seasons and the rounds that the world makes around the sun; by these humankind has completed its idea of time. Many wish to limit Divine law to this human-made conception of time and make speculations about it. But the tendency of the mystic is to bend the head low in worship as the thought of the eternal life of God, the Only Being, comes to mind. . .the mystics contemplate upon the Being of God and so raise their consciousness above the limitations of time and space, so liberating their soul by lifting it to the Divine spheres. . . . There will come a time when science will find out that the breath of humans is creative, not only of atmosphere, but also of life; it is A Living Being. At the root of this secret, one will find the reason for all disease. Breath is creative as a living being. Science now finds that behind every disease there is a germ of disease. There will come a time when one will find out that it all comes from inhaling and exhaling. As God creates, so humans create by breath. . . . Breath is not only physical, it touches the deepest parts of our being. What we know is only inhaling and exhaling, what we feel through the nostrils. That is not breath. Breath is that power which makes our lives, which connects body with soul and mind. BREATH IN POINT OF FACT IS A ROSARY. |
| For the LADIES First : 1. " Q: What do you call an Intelligent, Good Looking, Sensitive Man? A: A RUMOR...." 2. " He said - Shall we try Swapping Positions tonight? She said - That's a Good Idea... you stand by the ironing board While I sit on the sofa and FART....." 3. " A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the HAPPIEST woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll MISS you.." 4. Husband: I Don’t know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: Well dear - You wear BRIEFS, Don't you?....." For the Gentlemen : 1. " Two Secrets to keep your marriage Brimming - 1. Whenever you're wrong, ADMIT IT, 2. Whenever you're Right, SHUT UP…....." 2. " You know what I did before I married? ANYTHING I Wanted To...." 3. " A Good Wife ALWAYS Forgives her husband when SHE’S WRONG…..." 4. A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, " IT REALLY WORKS !...........” Please EXCUSE ME for my Broken Front Teeth and Bandages on the Head !!!!!!! |
1. " When someone cries so hard that it hurts their throat, it is out of frustration or knowing that no matter what you can do or attempt to do can change the situation. When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside - that is true pain. Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can't. That pain just stays in place. Then, if you are lucky, one small tear may escape from those eyes that water constantly. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape. Although it's just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world......." - (By Chase Brooks) 2. " When you love someone, truly love them, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt-you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling-like having your heart carved out......" - ( By Sherrilyn Kenyon ) And to Cope with it (MAYBE) 1. " There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater. BUT SOMETIMES IT DOES'NT.. Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. That is the sort of bravery one Must Strive FOR...." " Take Pride in your pain; you are Stronger than those who have None...." That (perhaps) is HOW....... |
She asked him, "How much are you selling the eggs for?" The old seller replied to her, "Rs.5/- for one egg, Madam." She said to him, "I will take 6 eggs for Rs.25/- or I will leave." The old seller replied, "Come take them at the price you want. May God bless us, and maybe this is a good beginning because I have not yet sold to anyone." She took it and walked away feeling she has won. She got into her fancy car and went to pick her friend, and invited her to a restaurant. She and her friend sat down and ordered what they like. They ate a little and left a lot of what they ordered. Then she went to pay the bill. The bill was Rs.1,200/-. She gave him Rs. 1,300/- and said to the owner of the restaurant: "Keep the change." This story may seem normal to the owner of the restaurant. But it is very painful for the eggs' seller. _The bottom line is_: Why do we always show that we have the power when we buy from the needy and the poor? And we are generous with those who do not need our generosity ? Every time a poor child comes to me to sell something simple, I remember a tweet from the son of a rich man who said, "After every prayer my father used to buy simple goods for very expensive prices, even though he did not need them. Sometimes he used to pay more for them. I used to get concerned by this act and I told him about it. Then my father told me: 'It is a charity wrapped with dignity, my son.'" Compare these two stories of social hypocrisy. The first one is disappointing and the second one is inspiring. _May God enlighten our vision. |
I am now packed ready to leave. I have the traveller's cheques. I have 50 audio cassettes bulging out of all pockets. I listen to Kate’s last words of advice, and the tape recorder and its extension are off. The distant Himalayan snows are shining: by the time I see them again they will be veiled in purdah. As I reach the road a tourist taxi (in late December?) passes: I am given a lift down to the Mussoorie bus station which saves me an hour’s walk — an auspicious sign. The bus is taking me to Rajpur where I used to live, and where I have to find Atmananda who has half-promised to try and give her blank-recorded-Interview again. But for now I am walking through the nearby sleepy gardens of the Anandamayi Ma Ashram on Rajpur Road. Atmananda, whose earlier Interview attempt registered nothing but recorded silence, is sitting in the porch of her tiny house; she appears to be surprised: I wrote to you — she is saying — telling you not to come before 3 o’clock! Oh, Lord, another mistake! But I explain: The banks don’t issue travellers cheques over Christmas, so perhaps the post office only delivers Christmas cards, and can’t be bothered with letters during this period. She lets me in, but she is firm: I will not speak into that thing again...here is a printed article...(not another one?)…use that instead! I glance at it. There are places needing clarification. She starts explaining, talking so expressively, so much more naturally, I put the printed, stilted piece aside. She lets me press the recording button -- this time something surely will be captured. Interview 8 When I met you last month at Kankhal, you were reluctant to give me an Interview — you said you didn’t want any personal publicity. When at last you agreed, we found much to your amusement, nothing had been caught on the cassette. I know you have lived in India for nearly 50 years and that you are one of Anandamayi Ma’s oldest and first Western disciples. But can you tell me something about your early life and what brought you to India? "My mother died when I was 2 years old so I was brought up by my father and grandmother. He was Polish, but we lived in Vienna. I was interested in religion very early, but I went through many phases. At school I learned about the Jewish religion, and I got very Jewish. I remember saying to my grandmother: I can’t stay here, you don’t keep orthodox rules — I’m going away! All right — she said — but where will you go? I was 7, so I began to think I better wait. But by the time I was ten I was an atheist. When the First World War started, I got interested in politics — this lasted a year or two. But I was still religious-minded and began to read Tolstoy when I was 14. That impressed me very much. When I arrived at the age of 16 I became a vegetarian and started reading Theosophy. But, really, it’s very difficult to talk if you are going to publish everything. Yes, I know. But only what you wish to talk about will be published. You know, our backgrounds are rather similar: I was also born a Jew of Austrian-Polish parents, and like you I became a musician. Can you tell me how you started your musical training? "It was while still a child of 6 or 7. I was considered a wunderkind, although I successfully avoided playing in public. It was at my music teacher’s that I met a girl, much older than I, who was a Theosophist. She gave me some books to read, but I didn’t like them. Then she brought me Krishnamurti’s little book At the Feet of the Master. I didn’t read it. After some time she wanted it back, so I felt I better read it — you probably know it — it’s very short. Well, it had a peculiar affect on me. From that day I couldn’t eat meat anymore. My family thought I’d get over it, but since then — it’s over sixty years ago — I have never eaten meat. It became contagious: my sister became a vegetarian after one year, then my father, and as my grandmother had no choice, she also followed. It was like that. From then on I became a keen Theosophist. When I was 21 I came to India for the Jubilee Convention at the International Headquarters in Adyar. That was in 1925. Dr. Annie Besant and Mr. Leadbeater were alive in those days. I should tell you that I had been fascinated by India since my childhood although I didn’t know anything about India. When I first heard the names of India’s two great epics: Mahabharata and Ramayana, I went home from school repeating those words like a mantra. Of course, I didn’t know what a mantra was until much later. When did you come back to India? Oh, it wasn’t for another ten years… in 1935. And this time you never went back? I have not even stepped outside India since then. How did you meet Anandamayi Ma? She could hardly have been so well-known in those days. "I was teaching at Rajghat School in Varanasi, and although I had heard much about Mataji from friends who knew her, and I was searching for spiritual guidance, I was in no hurry to meet her. It wasn’t until 1943 when I was spending my summer vacation in Almora that I had my first darshan. The Danish sadhu who lives there one day said to me: “The Holy Mother is at Patal Devi, why don’t you see her on your way back?” The Ashram there was not built then, but I found Mataji sitting in the open on a string cot. A few devotees were squatting at her feet. She seemed all joy and beauty. She addressed a few words to me. She didn’t treat me as a stranger but as if I were well-known to her. At that time I knew no Bengali and only some colloquial Hindi, not enough for a serious conversation. I wanted to know more about her. In those days there were no books on her in English. She was always traveling, never in one place for long. All my life I had been taught to look at things critically and never accept anything on authority. I knew it was difficult to distinguish between an enlightened being and one with a semblance of this divine state. At that first meeting I was wearing European dress, a solar topi, I carried a handbag in one hand and a mountaineering stick in the other. My appearance clashed painfully with Mataji’s surroundings, and I was sensitive to the curious glances of the devotees. Nevertheless, I was struck by the inward beauty that shone from their faces. After 15 minutes I got up to go, but within a few months, I was able to have Mataji’s darshan in Varanasi, where I taught. This time she was surrounded by a huge crowd under a pandal by the Ganges. This was the site chosen as her new Ashram, although no building had started. Kirtan was going on. I was not used to this spectacular worship and felt out of place. In spite of the dense crowd and the loud singing and dancing which disturbed me, there was something about Mataji which attracted me profoundly. I wanted to know her at closer quarters, but the chance didn’t come so quickly. She says: No one can come to me until the time is right. It was, therefore, two years later before conditions brought me closer to her. It was at Sarnath. I was allowed to spend a whole evening with her on the roof of the Birla Dharamsala. Here there were no crowds, only a few companions and Buddhist monks. It was informal and I didn’t feel out of place. Sarnath had been my favourite place of pilgrimage ever since I had come to Varanasi ten years before. I spent much time there reading Buddhist scriptures, enjoying the peace and wondering how it was that after millennia the presence of Lord Buddha could still be felt so strongly. I never dreamed that Sarnath, where he delivered his first sermon after attaining illumination, would be the setting for a decisive turning point in my life. I sat quietly by Mataji not wanting to ask anything, just imbibing the atmosphere. Several days passed like this until one evening I had a long private talk with Mataji. What she said was so simple and convincing; no room for doubts. I thought: How strange I had not been able to find this out myself. And yet I knew it was not another talking to me, but my Self conversing with my self. What Mataji said was evidently only the outer expression of something that took place simultaneously at a deeper level. The next morning we had another talk to clarify some details, during which Mataji asked whether I had to support anyone in my family. Several weeks later I received news of the death of my aged father, the only near relative I possessed. He had died a refugee in America three days after Mataji had talked to me at Sarnath. The time to make close contact with her came when all worldly ties had dissolved. With extraordinary ease and naturalness, she had exploded my problem. Where there had been a constant dilemma, now there was a straight path. Was it from that time you started editing the magazine “Ananda Varta”? "The nominal editor I have been only for five or six years, but, yes, I have been doing the work from the beginning. The chief editor, Dr. Gopinath Kaviraj(1) , trained me — he was wonderful to me. Anything I couldn’t understand he would explain for hours. I used to think: What a waste of time — if he would only dictate the answer I would use it and finish with it. Only afterwards when he was no longer available did I realize he had trained me to do everything myself. The magazine started in the early fifties and is published quarterly. In those early days I had such an intense desire to know what Mataji was saying that I spent all my spare time studying Hindi. In a year I was able to talk to her without help. No sooner had that happened than Mataji would often call me to translate for foreigners. I had a unique opportunity to witness many private Interviews which enabled me to get first-hand experience of the universality of Mataji’s teachings and how she modified them to suit each person’s nature, conditioning and needs. When you were young you were such an accomplished pianist. I wonder if you ever miss classical music now? "Every day I do kirtan for one hour, and at every Ashram function also. Of course, this is Indian music. In the beginning when I heard this loud music I would sneak out — I couldn’t bear it as my ear was finely attuned to Bach, Mozart and Beethoven. I think I once told you that when I first came out to India I played piano recitals on the Indian Radio. My favourite composer was Bach, but I also played Chopin, Schumann, Ravel, Debussy, etc. Yes, I gave it all up, but it never was my life really. I was born into another culture and background, but this was no new life that I entered when I came here… you see, I didn’t belong to that life. You would never go back to the West? "No, no, no! No question. But suppose I were deported, I know there would be a quiet place for me somewhere. Even in the West people are living high up in the mountains with no electricity, no running water. One can live the simple life anywhere. If you are meant to live this life, you will live it wherever you are…but I don’t want to go back. Have you taken Indian nationality? "Long, long ago… in 1951. But I have to tell you a strange thing. I don’t have a passport. When I was filling out all the forms, they said: You don’t want to go out of India? I replied: No, what for? So they never gave me a passport…I don’t suppose I can ever leave. Are you really 76? "Yes. I ought to tell you what happened in 1945 when I wanted to spend the Divali holidays with Mataji at Vindhyachal. The war was not yet over, and being an enemy alien I couldn’t leave Varanasi without permission…there was a permit one had to get. I had only just been drawn close to Mataji. So I was anxious that permission be granted. Can you imagine my joy when told henceforth I was free to travel without permission? Since 1939 all my movements had been restricted. As soon as I was free of desire to go anywhere except to be near Mataji, I was suddenly free to go anywhere I liked. Can you remember something of special interest from those early days spent with Mataji? "I can never forget the Kali puja which was celebrated at Vindhyachal during that first visit in 1945. Mataji was present throughout the whole puja. Her face changed continually: a drama appeared to be enacted on her features. I cannot claim to know how a goddess looks, but she was so radiantly beautiful and so young that night, it surely could not have been the countenance of a human being. When the puja was over, I didn’t feel sleepy in the least, but I went to my room to lie down. Someone knocked at the door calling my name. An asana — a small meditation rug — was handed to me with the message: Mataji sends you this. It was 4 a.m., the time one usually rises for meditation. How subtle — I thought — Mataji is presenting me with a reminder: this is no time to sleep but to sit in meditation! I went outside to thank her; she was still surrounded by people, but she said to me: You were cold sitting without an asana? This small treasure is still with me although through the years it has become badly worn. When I Interviewed Simonetta, she had much to say about Ashram hells. Have you gone through any hells? Now you see my place…where are the hells? Yes, in the beginning there are difficulties, but difficulties are a necessary part of the training. People from the West think that when you come to the guru you just bask in the Holy Presence. That’s part of it — the other part is the difficulties. Mataji is often asked about this. She says: Whatever happens to you is due to past karma which has to be worked out. We come to Ashrams from different social and cultural upbringing and have to mix together. Naturally it’s going to cause upheavals. But we take it as part of the polishing. Perhaps we only see this when the polishing is complete? What do you have to say about the benefits of Ashram life? The secluded life isn’t a thing you choose like going to a hotel. It has to be meant for you. The benefits? I couldn’t live any other life. Where would I go? I could never live with a family. When did you start wearing ochre robes? "You probably know Mataji doesn’t give sannyas to Europeans. In 1962 when I had been with her for almost twenty years, she asked someone in my presence whether he wanted to take sannyas; he was not willing. I said: “Mataji, I can take it.” She replied: “Achha?”(2) So she gave me a robe with instructions how to dye it and that I should bathe in the Ganges before wearing it. My name she gave at the very beginning. Is that when you started shaving your head? "Oh, that!…no, no, that’s a funny story. Mataji never told me to do that. A few years ago I slightly injured my head; it became septic and troublesome. I asked the doctor to shave the hair off, but he wouldn’t. The wound didn’t heal so I did it myself. The wound healed but I like to keep my head shaved. With all the literary work you have been doing, does it not keep you away from Mataji? "I am now too old to travel with her all the time. It was different in the beginning — I was with her very much, at times going to small villages where they had never even heard of a bathroom. I often had to sleep in a storeroom — on the floor — having arrived in the middle of the night. All that was good; you see, everything depends on your attitude. Yes, there may be Ashram hells, but there are two sides to everything. If you wish to be with such a being like Mataji, you have to be prepared to go through ups and downs. I have seen Rajas and Ranis putting up with conditions they hadn’t met before. It’s hard, but look at how many Ranis come of their own accord to the Samyam Saptah! Is that the austerity week Mataji holds every year? "Yes. The one that has just ended is the 32nd. They started in 1952. You see, Mataji is extremely particular about one thing: Without self-restraint nothing can be achieved. Mataji firmly maintains if we live soft, indulgent lives, nothing can be achieved. She tells everybody there must be self-discipline. She says that worldly pleasures lead to spiritual death. But knowing that most people live like this these days, she started advising them to keep one day a week or at least one day a month to observe strict rules: eat only one meal, don’t smoke, drink or talk unnecessarily, don’t visit anyone but stay at home reading scriptures and meditating. What were the eating arrangements during this week? "On the first day we only take Gangajal — water from the Ganges. The next six days, nothing until mid-day when a simple meal is served. We are not supposed to take tea or coffee but as much Gangajal as we like. That is most cleansing. In the evening there is hot milk for those needing it. Why do you drink so much Gangajal? "According to what the stomach consumes so will the mind work. When we start this austerity week, the first thing to be done is to clear out the system by drinking plenty of water. Together with the fasting, this clears and tones up the body. For anyone living in luxury, how can they take to the spiritual life? It can’t go together. That’s why many of those coming from the West get ill — they are spoilt by every sort of comfort. I tell you, the hard life is absolutely necessary. I wonder if you could end by telling us something about the benefits of the spiritual life? "Oh, oh, oh — there is no end to the benefits. On the superficial level, just look: there are no worldly distractions, you don’t have to go out visiting people, or doing useless things. Once you give up these things you can live a private life, a life of seclusion. People used to leave their homes and live alone, but this is difficult. Ashram life is the next best thing, although you have to put up with all sorts of temperaments. I will tell you one last thing. For me coming to India was not really a new life: I was interested in this from the beginning. I never had to give up anything as I was always out of place there. In the early days Mataji asked me what I wanted. I said one word: “Enlightenment.” She replied: “All right. Then sit perfectly still in meditation” . The passionate story of Atmananda’s fifty-year spiritual quest in India is vividly related in the book, “Death Must Die”, compiled from her diaries which Ram Alexander edited and which was published by Indica Books, Varanasi, in 2000. Her extraordinary death four years after giving the above Interview is poignantly described by Ram Alexander in his epilogue: “Atmananda’s exit from this world was that of a true yogini – sitting upright repeating her Guru’s name with complete composure…she was taken in procession, in the traditional manner for a sannyasi, to a special area of the Ganges reserved for the submersion of sannyasis…Atmananda was given the full honors due to her as a Hindu sannyasi. To my knowledge, she is the only Western woman who has ever been accorded such an honor”. |
Not blood, But, An electrician.. To restore the current between people that do not speak to each other anymore. An optician, To change the outlook of people. An artist, To draw a smile on everyone's face. A construction worker, To build peace. A gardener, To cultivate good thoughts. And lastly, A Maths teacher For all of us to re-learn how to count on each other. 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 |
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